Journal 3
by Reapergenesis32
Summary: Gravity Falls from the 'eyes' of the one who started all. Sentient Book 3
1. Chapter 1

Journal 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls, that belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney. If I owned Gravity Falls Bill would have more episodes.

**A/N This is my first fanfiction, so keep an open mind**

_word~3's point of view _

* * *

><p>Chapter 1 Tourist Trapped<p>

_It's Dark…Quiet…is that an animal (?) sound, oh well, same old, same old._

_This has been my…existence for the last…I don't know how many years; sort of hard to tell how much time has passed in a cramped, underground cubby that my creator, my Father, placed me in without 'seeing' the light of day._

_Oh, listen to me ramble I should introduce myself, I am 3 and believe it or not, but I'm a book, a journal to be precise. But I'm not just any journal, (yes, yes I'm a sentient book I know that but other than that) I hold clues and secrets of a small town called Gravity Falls, Oregon that is "just west of weird" that is overflowing with the supernatural and mystery's galore._

…_At least I should, I am however unfinished with half of my pages plank with my more…"recent" information hidden from even myself. Oh well, nothing I can do about it seeing as I'm trapped here in this cubby with nothing else to do but 'listen' to the wildlife and the more…special beings that prance around above ground. Speaking of which, those little men, gnomes, have been passing by frequently lately, chattering about a new queen they will soon marry *coughkidnapcough*, those nasty little men and that poor girl._

_Still they are better than that…thing Bill Cipher that had been around my area for the pass however many years I've been here. He is the reason I'm trapped here and he scares me, he's dangerous, __I CAN'T TRUST HIM__, even that creepy rattling thing is better than him! Sorry, got carried away, oh well; it doesn't matter since I'll nev-_

**BANG!**

_-Wha-?_

**Bang! Bang!**

_What the…is someone…out there?_

**Vsssssh…**

_**Light**__…glorious light, the sky, fresh air and a…goat? Meh, I'll take what I can get, but finally, I'm free. But who freed me?_

"What the-?"

'Looking' up Journal 3 saw that a boy, probably 12 years old with brown hair and hazel eyes wearing a green army hat with an olive star in the middle was peering down at it with a bewildered expression. As the 2 centipedes crawled away, he carefully picked up the dusty book and blew off the dust and spider webs that had gathered over the years to reveal a golden embossed six-fingered hand with a 3 inside of it. Setting it down he opened the book for the first time in years to see what was written in its yellowed pages.

_Who is he 3 _wondered as the boy flipped through it, _he's kind of young, almost no one goes into my neck of the forest these days, but why is he here? _"It's hard to believe it's been 6 years since I've began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." The boy read to himself and started to flip through the pages to show things like eyes, bats, gnomes and other stuff 3 couldn't describe. _What's his name _3 wondered furiously, it wanted to know the boy's name so badly; who knew how good it felt to be read after all those years underground.

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed, I'm being watched." The boy started reading more frantically, _yes, that does sound like my Father. _"I must hide this book before HE finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." His eyes lingered on the last thing the author wrote, **TRUST NO ONE**. That phase would've sent a shiver down 3's spine if it could move; _that's right Father's first rule when he was writing me, everyone is out to get you and you can only trust yourself to a certain extent. But I can trust this boy hopefully; he did find me after all, if only I had a name!_

He closed the book and whispered "No one you can trust."

"HELLO!"

3 could've jumped out of its binding in fear, but the boy did it a favor by tossed it a little when a high pitched girl voice shrieked right next to them. _#$%^$&$*!_ 3 turned its awareness to a girl who looked a lot like the boy as she scrambled over a dead stump to greet the boy. She was strange, 3 thought, with her long brown hair, a purple skirt with a pink sweater with a shooting star on it. She created a vivid contrast to the boys orange shirt with blue vest and grey shorts. _Who the hell is she; if I was alive I would've lost a year off my lifespan with her scream!?_

"Whatcha reading? Some weird nerd thing?" _How rude._ The boy stuttered and hid 3 behind his back and said "Ah, ah it's nothing." "Ah, ah it's nothing" She playfully mocked back waving her arms. She laughed and giggled "What, are you actually not going to show me." _He's entitled to his secrets little girl_ 3 groused, _why if I had a body I'd- AH! BAD GOAT BAD GOAT! I'M NOT FOR EATING! EAT THE GIRL'S SWEATER NOT ME!_ "Ah let's go somewhere private" the boy said waving the evil, evil goat away.

* * *

><p>The kids went into a rundown shack said Mystery Shack that was bigger on the inside then the out and when into the den. "It's amazing, Grunkle Stan said that I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has a secret dark side."<p>

"Whoa, shut up!" the girl 3 now knew as Mabel pushed the boy known as Dipper away playfully. "And get this, at a certain point the pages just stop. Like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared." 3 'nodded' sadly, its father placed it in the cubby when things started to get dangerous.

3 was enjoying being on the outside with the boy, Dipper. He was a little jumpy, but was a good kid with a good head on his shoulders, _and no, I'm not just saying that because he complimented me_ 3 thought. DING-DONG "What's/who that?" Both 3 and Dipper asked turning to Mabel.

"Well, time to spill the beans. Boop," she tipped over a convenient can next to her. "He he, beans. This girl's got a date." She whooped loudly and flipped over. Dipper facepalmed and asked "Let me get this straight, in the half hour I was gone you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say; I guess I'm just irresistible."

She then ran for the door to her new boyfriend. Dipper shrugged and sat down to read when an old man in a tux, glasses, an unnecessary eye patch and a fez came into the room. _Is this Grunkle Stan?_ "Whatcha got there, slick?" Stan asked Dipper jumped and hid 3 behind the couch and grabbed closest magazine next to him. _I'm flying, ow, I landed_. "Oh, I was just catching up on Gold Chains for Old Men?"

"That's a good issue." Mabel called out "Heey family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!" 3 stretched it's 'awareness' around the den and 'saw' a hooded teen covered in dirt and twigs. "Sup" he grunted. The 2 males in the room said hello staring at the teen. "We met at the cemetery, he's really deeeeep. Oh, a little muscle there, that's, what a surprise." _Creepy,_ 3 thought, _what was she doing in a cemetery a half hour ago and what was HE doing in a cemetery. _"So what's your name?" Dipper asked.

"Ah Normal-MAN!" he shouted nervously. "He means Norman" Mabel said dreamily, both 3 and Dipper looked suspiciously at him. "Are you bleeding Norman?" "It's jam." Mabel grinned and said "Jam? I love jam; look at this!"

3 was 'stared' at Norman, he sounded familiar it knew his voice but where? It hit 3, _wait, that's Jeff the gnome! Oh no, Mabel will be the gnome queen, I have to warn Dipper!_ "So you wanna hold hands or whatever?" "Oh my goodness," Mabel blushed, "Don't wait up." She ran off and, to 3's satisfaction, Norman or Jeff banged his head on the doorway and further crashed into stuff. _Ha take that nasty gnome. _

Dipper looked suspicious and went up to the room with a strangely shaped window that looked familiar to 3, he flipped through 3's pages; 3 tried to show him the gnome page but he flipped to the zombie page and read. "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes; these creatures are often mistaken for TEENAGERS! Beware Gravity Fall's nefarious-!" He gasped and yelled "ZOMBIE!" and the word echoed across the house. Dipper rushed to the window and nearly had a breakdown as he watched Jeff lurch to his sister, but thankfully he just gave her a flower necklace. "Is my sister really dating a zombie?" _No, Dipper she's dating gnomes, there's a difference._

"It's a dilemma to be sure." A voice said out of nowhere. _What's with people coming out of nowhere!?_ "I couldn't help but over hear you talking out loud to yourself in this empty room." _Really!? How could we not see you!?_ "Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend, he's got to be a zombie right?" Soos looked at him and asked "How many brains did you see the guy eat?" "Zero…" "Look dude, I believe you, I'm always seeing weird stuff around town; like the mailman, I'm pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But you got to have evidence, or otherwise everyone will think you're a major cuckoo clock."

Dipper sighed and said, "As always Soos, you're right." "My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." Suddenly Stan's voice rang out. "Soos, the portable toilets are clogged again." _Is that your curse or your blessing Houdini?_ 3 groused, still annoyed by his appearing out of nowhere and a little freaked out as Soos started walking backwards away from them. "I am needed elsewhere" Dipper picked up 3 and started stalking Mabel and Jeff.

* * *

><p>Watching the duo, 3 couldn't figure out why Jeff was acting like a zombie<em>. Huh, I thought gnomes were known for their coordination<em>. But that was proven wrong as Mabel hit him with a Frisbee, Jeff failing at opening the door, and walking into an open grave. Finally Mabel was going for a 'romantic walk' in the woods with Norman/Jeff" when Dipper confronted Mabel in their room.

"Mabel, we've got to talk about Norman." _You're going to be kidnapped by little bearded men!_ 3 thought, trying to convey to Dipper to tell to his sister. "Isn't he amazing? Just checkout the giant smooch mark he gave me." She showed the shocked duo a gigantic hicky on her cheek. She laughed and reassured Dipper that she was joking. _But why did she use a leaf blower!? Sigh. _"That was fun." _You have strange definitions of fun, girl_.

"No Mabel, listen, I'm trying to tell you that Norman isn't what he seems." He showed her 3; _Norman's real name is Jeff and is actually a bunch of gnomes._ Mabel gasped and asked. "Do you think he might be a vampire? Cause that would be so awesome!" _How would that be awesome, that would be worse!_ He flipped 3 open and 3 may have switch some pages around to show gnomes instead of undead, just to warn Dipper.

"Guess again sister, shabam! Oh sorry, wait a moment." He turned to undead and repeated himself. "A zombie? That's not funny Dipper." _For once I agree with her_. "I'm not joking, it all adds up, the bleeding, the limp, he never blinks, have you notice that!?" _Actually he does blink, several times in fact_. "Maybe you're blinking when he's blinking." "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls, trust no one!" "What about me, huh, why can't you trust me?" "Mabel he's gonna eat your brain!" Dipper shouted shaking her.

Now Mabel was getting mad, "Dipper, listen to me, Norman and I are going on a date at 5 o'clock and I am going to be adorable" she started to push Dipper away to the door. _He's just trying to protect you, you ungrateful little- _"and he's going to be dreamy" she shoved him out and screamed "and I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracy series!" she slammed the door in Dipper's face. 3 on the other hand fumed in anger when it saw Dipper's hurt face, _what a selfish little girl, go on that date and become the gnome queen for all I care._

Dipper just sighed as he heard Mabel greet her date from the den later on. "Soos is right I don't have any real evidence. Maybe she's right, I can be sort of paranoid" He looked at the recorder watching them play hopscotch then to Mabel and Jeff looking at something when his-hand-fell-off-and-he-put-it-back-on_. How the hell did we miss that!?_ "Wait what!?" Dipper screamed and rewinds the video to see it again, he was so surprised he flipped over the chair and ran out screaming he was right and went to Stan who was with a bunch of tourists.

"And here we have the rock that looks like a face rock, the rock that looks like a face." "Does it look like a rock?" one tourist asked. "No it looks like a face." "Is it a face?" another asked. "It's a rock that looks like a face!" Dipper tried to get his attention but they continued to ask Stan questions so he was ignored.

_Wait, so it's a rock that looks like a face?_

Dipper ran to a tall teenaged girl with long red hair and a lumber jack hat. "Wendy, Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart to save my sister from a zombie!" The girl, Wendy, smiled and gave Dipper the keys and said, "Try not to hit any pedestrian's." _Why would there be pedestrian's in a forest? And how could he hit them? _Dipper backed up to see Soos who appeared out of nowhere again, and gave him a shovel and a bat for a random piñata. _Are there living piñata's in the forest?_

* * *

><p>Dipper drove like a mad man to find that Jeff had removed his disguise. "The more you struggle the more awkward it'll be for everybody. Get her arm there Steve" Jeff was saying. <em>Well, that's not creepy or perverted at all<em>. Mabel was punching gnomes away and one was puking rainbows, _weird_; Dipper was slacked jawed. "What the heck is going on here?" "Dipper, Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, and there total jerks. Ow, ow hair, hair" Dipper pulled out 3, "Gnomes wow I was way off."_ I tried to tell you that!_ "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest, weaknesses unknown." "Aw, come one!" Both 3 and Mabel groaned as one.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing to my sister!?" Dipper yelled at Jeff, who chuckled and said. "This is really a big misunderstanding, you see your sister isn't in any danger; she's just going to marry all 1,000 of us and becoming are gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey" _How is that any better, you pervert!? _Dipper and Mabel shared the same sentiments, "You guys are butt faces!" Mabel was then muffled. Dipper shoveled Jeff away and grabbed Mabel, and fled to the golf cart.

3 was worried, it was too easy. 3 remembered gnomes where dangerous when angered and they had no weaknesses. Suddenly the ground rippled and a **giant made of gnomes** came lumbering towards them. _OH, CRAP!_ _Faster Dipper, faster!_ He obliged and gunned it until they were set off course by a giant tree. _Why are they trying to kill us don't they need Mabel alive!? _They made it to the Mystery Shack and were trapped between a gnome and a wall.

_Where is Stan when you need him; oh Father, why didn't you find their weakness?_ 3 thought miserably as Jeff demanded Mabel's hand, which Mabel surprisingly gave. _What is she thinking?_ It later proved to be a fake out when she suddenly had the leaf blower in her hands and sucked Jeff up. _Oh ho! Me likey!_ 3 cheered as Mabel walked forward menacingly "That's for lying to me, that's for breaking my heart, and this is for messing with my brother!" She and Dipper then shot Jeff into the gnome giant which caused them to split apart in a rain of gnomes. One was even carried away by the evil goat which 3 maliciously enjoyed.

"Hey, Dipper, I am-uh- sorry for ignoring your advice." Mabel apologized, "You were just looking out for me." _Well, at least she can admit she was wrong._ "Ah don't be like that; you saved are butts back there." Dipper reassured, "I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." _…Really?_ "Look on the bright side, maybe the next one will be a vampire." _How is that a bright side? More like the dark side_. "You're just saying that" Mabel smiled.

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug. Pat. Pat." _Daw, that's so sweet_. They entered the shack and to the twins and 3's surprise; in a rare show of generosity, Stan let the twins take something from the shop for free. _Guess he does have a heart somewhere_.

Since Dipper lost his hat in the forest, Dipper got a hat with a vaguely familiar symbol on it that left 3 wondering where it was from. Mabel surprisingly got a…grappling hook? _Okay, why was that doing there and why is Stan letting her keep it, oh well, guess I'll never understand humans._ Later that night Dipper was writing in 3, much to 3's joy, updating the gnome page while Mabel was jumping on the bed. _Isn't that danger- oh, right there_ 3 purred like a kitten being scratched behind the ears as Dipper wrote its pages. It didn't mind and now its pages is being filled which was intoxicating to the incomplete journal.

As Dipper and Mabel fell asleep to the now darkened room courtesy of Mabel's new grappling hook, 3 couldn't help but 'hear' a mechanical hum downstairs and wonder what is was. _Oh well, nothing I can do about it,_ 3 thought basking in the moonlight and fresh air from the shattered window_. It's not like Stan is hiding anything but illegal things for humans_ as 3 went to 'sleep' next to Dipper.

_I'll help him solve Gravity Fall's mysteries, however I can._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer, I don't own Gravity Falls or Scooby-Doo

"Word" Normal

_Word_ 3's view

* * *

><p>The Legend of the Gobblewonker<p>

_Is this normal breakfast behavior for humans?_

3 asked bemusedly in its 'head' as it watched from inside Dipper's vest. The Pines twins were racing tree sap for reasons 3 could not compute. Mabel's "Sir Syrup" won, but choked her_. Is that the prize? If so then I'm glad Dipper lost. Or maybe because Mabel cheated by tapping the bottom and perhaps that's her penalty_.

Dipper was reading a magazine with something called a Human Hamster ball and also a…contest ad? "Ho ho, no way! Hey Mabel, check this out" Dipper said pointing at the contest ad, but Mabel predictably looked at the Hamster ad. "Human-sized hamster balls? I'm human-sized!" she smiled. _Wouldn't you suffocate in it? Also how would you break?_ "No, no. Mabel. This. We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?" _No, we could've if we brought the camera with us, but with our luck it would've been destroyed in an explosion _3 tried to console.

"Nope. Just memories! And this beard hair." Mabel sighed dreamily pulling out some white hair and stuck it in Dipper's face. _Why? I thought it was a bad break up? You know with the kidnapping and attempted murder_. Mabel just shrugged as Stan walked into the room.

"Good morning you knuckle heads. Do you know what day it is?" _Wednesday?_ "Happy Anniversary?" "Mazel tov!" Stan smacked Dipper on the hat and said "It's Family Fun Day, genius. We're cutting off work and having one of those, you know, bonding-type deals" _Huh, the cheapskate getting off work for "bonding time?" Smells fishy. _ "Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?" Dipper asked uncomfortably. _What happened last time?_ "The county jail was so cold." _Ah._

Stan said "All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun!" _That sounds promising_. "Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and GET INTO MY CAR?" _Now I'm worried_ "Wait, what?" Dipper asked stunned, as Mabel cheered. _My thoughts exactly._

* * *

><p>"Blindfolds never lead to anything good." Dipper muttered as he sat in the back seat with his sister. <em>I agree, at least it's with a creepy old man you know. <em>Mabel on the other hand was optimistic, "Wow, I feel like all my other senses are heightened! I can see with my fingers!" She poked Dipper's face causing him to chuckle at his sister's antics.

3 would've smiled until it turned its awareness to outside the car and had a 'heart attack' at Stan's driving. 3 'screamed' when the car flied through the air, _Trust me Dipper, I would like to have a blindfold right now, and a blanket, also a dark corner to crawl in._ Dipper nervously asked Stan "Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" _Please say no, on second thought say yes, because this implies that this is your usual driving habit. _Stan laughed and 3 felt a chill through its consciousness "Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be! What is that, a woodpecker?" _No! That's a guard rail and sign! I can drive better and I don't have hands!_ 3 screamed.

Contrary to 3 expectations, they got with their lives and limbs intact; the same couldn't be said for the car. _Rest in Peace car, you've earned it._ Dipper and Mabel took off the blindfolds and were disappointed to see it was only a lake. _We've risked our lives for a trip to the lake!?_ "Ta-da! It's fishing season!" Stan announced happily. "Fishing?" Mabel asked, "What're you playing at, old man?" _There is probably prize money involved._ "You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" _Wow it is a small town, and why is that gigantic lumberjack beating that poor fish, pick on someone your own size! Where did that guy come from?_ _What is with these people appearing out of nowhere in this town!? _"That's some quality family bonding!" _I think those are your cataracts talking._

Dipper was still suspicious "Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?" "Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me. They don't 'like' or 'trust' me." _I wonder why_.

"Think he actually wants to fish with us?" Mabel asked Dipper, "Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up! POW!" Stan put some badly made hats on the twin's heads. "Pines family fishing hats! That's hand stitching, you know. It just gonna be you, me and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!" _Oh dear God…Spare me._ The twins shared 3's sentiments exactly, especially when Stan pulled out the joke book. Suddenly there was a commotion by the dock; an old man that tugged on 3's memory was causing a scene. _Who is he? Did my Father know him?_

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN! The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrap doodles away!"

_Is he dancing?_ Both 3 and Mabel asked.

"Nooo! It's a jig of grave danger!"

_O-kay_. The lake ranger came out and starts spraying the crazy old man away, which turned out to be the old man's son. "But I got proof this time, by guppity, BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-de-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a giraffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!" he called pointing at Stan. _Now that's just rude_.

"It chewed my boat up to smithereens, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELEIVE ME!" The fat sheriff made fun of the old man which everyone else laughing at him and he left sadly. _I take that back, THAT was rude and uncalled for, lazy sheriff. _

"Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" Stan said getting on a rickety row boat." _I don't feel safe._ "Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?" Dipper asked Mabel, who repeated one of the old man's parting lines. "The other thing! About the monster! If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize fifty-fifty." _I'm not sure I have nothing in my pages about a "Gobble-de-wonker" so it may or may not be real. I do, however, know something about a waterfall cave if that helps._

Mabel gasped and said "that's 2 fifties." _Ya don't say._ "Imagine what you could do with five hundred dollars!" Mabel then went into her mindscape and started squeaking and giggling madly, until Dipper snapped her out of it. _Mabel's mind is a dangerous, dangerous place_. "Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this_!" I don't even want to know what you were thinking about_.

"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans. We're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we are gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Dipper, Mabel, 3, and strangely the old man started chanting, "Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" "You dudes say something about a monster hunt?" _Okay once was happenstance, twice is coincidence, 3 times it's a conspiracy! I'm onto you man-child! _3 thought as the twins greeted Soos. "Dude, you can totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff." Soos offered_. It is safer than the rowboat. _This started a tug-of-war between Stan and Soos, with Soos winning via robot dance.

After a quick detour for sunscreen the 3 humans and book were heading to the island. Dipper was making a speech towards the other two "All right! If we wanna win this contest, we gotta do it right! Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" _The monster is either a champion at hide and seek or hungry_. Soos guessed, "You're a side character, you die within the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?" _No that's jocks and blond bimbo's, so I think you're safe Soos._

"No, no, no. Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot?" _I see the resemblance._ "There he is! Bigfoot! Uh oh, no camera! Oh, wait! Here's one! Aw, no film! You see? You see what I'm doing here?" _Yes, I do._ "That's why I bought SEVENTEEN disposable cameras! Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay, everybody, let's test our cameras out!" This lead to an amusing scene where the 3 humans destroy 4 of the cameras involving: birds, mishearing, and inconvenient placing.

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" Mabel asked jokingly. "No! No. Okay." He looked at Mabel, "You'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain." _What am I paper scraps?_ "What? Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh? Mabel! Mabel! Mabel! Mabel!" _If you were captain we'd be underwater_ 3 thought as Dipper argued against it. "What about co-captain?" _Well there is first mate._ "There's no such thing as co-captain."

Mabel threw another camera overboard. "Okay, fine! You can be co-captain." Dipper said giving in, and then Soos asked, "Can I be associate co-captain?"

"As co-captain, I authorize that request."

_Fine I'll be the lookout_, 3 pouted.

"Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this" Dipper gestured at a convenient barrel of fish food, which Soos tasted.

The air soon turned misty as the twins tried to find the island, "Hey! How's it going? It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!" at least Dipper was.

Mabel was just playing with a pelican. Dipper looked at his sister, "Mabel, leave that thing alone." Mabel then tried her hand at ventriloquism, "Aw, I don't mind none! Hey, look! I'm drinking water! Twinkle, twinkle little..."

Which she failed at as she choke and scare the bird away, _don't quit your day job, kid._ "Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Dipper asked. "Look out!" Out of nowhere, Mabel throws a volley ball at Dipper, hitting him on the arm "Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it."

_Where did she get the ball? _Suddenly the boat hits the island's beach.

"See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!" _Hamster ball?_

They started to explore the island's forest until Soos saw a sign. "Dude, check it out." Soos called as he covered part of the sign with his arm "Butt Island."

_Real mature, who is the adult here?_

"Soos, you rapscallion!" Mabel looks at Dipper, "Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?"

"Pssh! Yeah, right! I'm not" _Evidently it's Dipper._ Mabel continued to taunt Dipper until they heard a low growl that echoed through the forest. "Dude! Did you guys hear that?" _How can we not?_ "What was that? Was it your stomach?" Mabel asked Soos. "Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." "Wow, so majestic!" Mabel commented_._

_ …No comment_.

Suddenly a possum runs by and snatches the lantern. "Our lantern! Aww! I can't see anything!" "Dude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it." Soos said nervously. "Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!" _Well at least Dipper's imagination isn't as bad as his sister's_. Courage renewed they'd went deeper into the forest.

"My name is Mabel! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with... glabel! It also rhymes with... schmabel!" _Once again, don't quit your day job. _"Dude, we should be writing these down." Dipper shushed them and whispered, "Guys, guys, guys! You hear something?"

_I hear birds._

"This is it! This is it!" the twins said together while Soos looked nervous, and grabbed a sharpened stick. They came upon a monster shape in the water and the humans hid behind a log and readied their cameras. They then charged, camera's flashing until the fog cleared and saw…a broken boat with a bunch of beavers?

_What the…?_

The beaver's chittered and played around the wreckage. "But...But what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!" They heard it again and turned to a beaver chewing on a rusty chainsaw. _1, what is that chainsaw doing there and 2, why isn't that beaver scarred up or dead!?_ "Sweet, a beaver with a chainsaw." Soos said taking photos.

Dipper sighed sadly "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." "He did use the word 'scrap doodle.'" _Cheer up, at least we know now._ "Ooh, yeah! Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one." Soos continued to take pictures of the beavers as Dipper moped on a rock. "What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." He threw a rock and the rock Dipper and 3 were on started to shake.

"Hey...Guys, do you feel that?" He fell off the rock, "Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!" To 3's surprise and horror the Gobblewonker's head rose up from the depths as Mabel and Soos slowly backed away.

_Run, Dipper, RUN!_

Dipper, not noticing the danger asked, "It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" He turned around to come face to face with the monster.

"Run! Get back to the boat! HURRY!" Soos screamed they were in a mad chase from the monster. If 3 could talk, it would yell at Dipper to stop taking photos and run for his life. Let's get outta here, dudes! They made it to the boat and they start driving away in the boat. "All right! This is it! Cracked lens?! Soos! Get a photo!" Dipper called. Soos started throwing camera at the monster instead. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" he breaks the last one as the monster was gaining. "Go, go, go, go, go!"

3 was scared to death, it used its awareness to find an escape route and found the waterfall cave nearby and switched its pages around to show Dipper where it was. _And was that Stan with Dipper and Mabel clones?_

They headed back to the island and crashed into the beaver nest, where 3 realized that beavers may look cute and cuddly, but they're vicious little monsters. They passed by other families and were knocked into the water. _Is that man still bullying that poor fish? It's been hours._ 3 thought satisfied as the fish's friends rained down upon them. The boat was nearly ruined and they smashed a panel of glass out in the middle of the lake. _Why are they doing that out here!? I don't see any windows! _

"WHERE DO I GO?!" Mabel screamed at Dipper, "Um...uh...GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!" he shouted back looking at 3's pages."

"MIGHT BE?!" they all braced for impact and slammed into the floor of the cave. They turned around to see the monster stuck in the caves entrance. _Oh, Thank you Lord. _

Mabel lifts up Dipper's hat to reveal a camera and starts taking pictures. "Did you get a good one?" "They're all good ones!" he said joyfully, 3 could have danced with happiness; it has found something its Father couldn't. "WOO! HAMSTER BALL!"

Guess who said that; a rock fell on the Gobblewonker head and it with an electric noise.

"What the...?" was everyone's thought. "What's wrong?" Mabel asked as they came closer. Dipper walks up to it and starts knocking on it. "Careful, dude!" "I've got this!" The monster's flank makes a hallow sound, _It's a fake!? _ "I've got this! Hold on! Hey, guys! Come check this out!" The gang comes down discovers a handle and opens it. They discover that the monster was a machine and the one controlling it was…the old man from the dock.

_Old Man Jenkins!?_

"Work the bellows and the...Eh?" The old man turns around and notices them, "Aww, banjo polish!" "You?! You made this?! Why?" Dipper asked flabbergasted.

He looked contrite and said "Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention."

_HUH!?_

"I still don't understand." Misinterpreting what he meant he said, "Well, first I just hooten nanied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with my beard!" _Okay..._ Mabel then asked, "Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?" "Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months!"

_That's sad._

"So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot!" _Well that escalated quickly_. He finished with a maniacal laugh then he'd sighed. In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Mabel and Dipper took out Stan's hats and shared a guilty look. "Dude, I guess the real lake monster is you two."

_THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! WHY DON'T YOU KICK A PUPPY WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!_

"Heh, heh! Sorry, I just like, boom, just popped into my head there." _You're a handyman, fix your mouth filter!_ "So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Mabel asked. "No, sir, I got to work straight on the robot! I made lots of robots in my day!" You-you did!? "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron"

_Err… isn't that a little extreme?_ "Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" _You have problems_, 3 thought as the old man laugh manically. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" _Good luck with that_. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

"Well, so much for the photo contest." Dipper said sadly looking at the camera. _Well, you can still send the photos in; it'll just be a little dishonest._ 3 murmured consolingly, "You still have one roll of film left." Mabel said. "What do you wanna do with it?"

* * *

><p>They went back outside and found Stan moping on his boat, where Dipper took his photo. "What the...kids? I thought you two were off playing 'Spin the Bottle' with Soos!" he asked angrily and a little hurt. "Well, we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur. " Dipper began; <em>it turned out to be giant robot controlled by a crazy old man<em>. "But we realized the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." Mabel finished with a smile. "Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time without you! Making friends, talking to my reflection...I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

_There are Lake Police?_

"So...I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" Dipper asked guiltily as the twins put on their hats. Stan hesitantly asked, "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" "Five bucks says you can't do it!" Dipper said as he got into the boat; Stan grinned, "You're on!" Mabel then continued to say, "Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, PLUS me singing at the top of my lungs!"

_I guess that's possible, if a little hard and slightly dangerous to your fingers. _

"I like those odds!" He turns to Soos and said "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?" "Long story, dude." _Yeah it involved pissing off a bunch of beavers and a robot_, 3 thought as Dipper pulled out the camera, "All right, everybody get together. Say fishing!" They spent rest of the day doing the dare, reading from the joke book, catching fish, stealing from the little clones, and running from the Lake Police.

_It's a pity I didn't find something you haven't found, Father_. 3 Thought to itself as they went back to the dock; _who knows, with the Pine family, we may find something you've never heard of._ The boat suddenly bumped into something and just on the edge of 3's awareness, it caught a 'glimpse' of a giant thing swim by.

_HUH?! Did I…imagine it? No it must've been a catfish_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Special thanks to my first reviewer StkAmbln**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own

Word- normal

_Word_ -3

Warning: 3's temper and language

* * *

><p>Headhunters<p>

_How blind is that guy!? How the hell did this guy think that t__his was an accident! _

3 shouted at the TV watching, Dipper's favorite show,_Duck-Tective. _3 was sitting in as always, Dipper's vest watching the program with him while Mabel dropped what she was knitting…a sweater or something. "That duck is a genius!" She said amazed. _Really, it's obvious; bodies can't fall and twist itself in those positions! _

_"_Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." Dipper said in a superior tone. _True, you should know that, huh Dipper_; 3 playfully joked with Dipper hoping the twins may one day hear its thoughts.

Mabel was gave him a doubtful look, "Are you saying you could outwit _Duck-Tective?_"

He smiled at Mabel and said, "Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating." He sniffed her breath gave her a weird look, "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

_Can't that kill you?_

Her mouth was covered in toothpaste, "It was so sparkly..." _Yet another example of something that wasn't there before_. At that moment Soos walked in the room. "Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" _A living doll?_ "Buried treasure!" Mabel laughed and pushed Dipper, "Hey, I was gonna say that!"

They went to a dusty hallway and Soos said, "So I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. Its crazy bonkers creepy!" The door creaked open ominously and in the darken room was filled with wax sculptures of: Robin Hood, Sherlock Holmes, a lady with an axe, Genghis Khan, a Queen and many others.

"Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" Dipper said in amazement looking at them_. I was 'kind of" right, they're just as creepy and I swear they're watching us, _3 thought observing from its place in Dipper's vest.

Mabel looked at Sherlock and whispered, "They're so lifelike." Dipper looked at one that looked like Stan, "Except for that one."

"Hello!" it called. Dipper, Mabel, 3and Soos screamed in surprise it chuckles and said "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" They just scream louder and ran away. _My 'eyes', MY 'EYE'S' IT'S BURNS!_

* * *

><p>After calming down, the 4 returned to hear Stan's explanation. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it." <em>Then it mustn't have been as popular as you thought<em>, 3 thought cynically.

"I got them all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

Dipper looked around shuttering in disgust. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" _Ditto._

Stan ignored them and stopped at a melted blob. "And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over" He glanced down and gasped in horror. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open?" He looks at another statue with suspicious eyes and said, "Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He bent down and put a finger in wax sadly, and sighed. "How do you fix a wax figure?" _Molds and food dye._

Mabel smiled and said, "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" He just grunted and Mabel continued, "Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" _Well that's kind of you_.

Stan looked doubtful and asked "You really think you can make one of these puppies?" gesturing at the statues. She gave him a superior smile and said "Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" _I just noticed that_.

Stan smiled and gave her the job. "I like your gumption, kid!"

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"

_It means sense or practicality_

Later when the wax had hardened into a block, Dipper and 3 approached Mabel who was dressed up in a painter's smock and beret; Dipper choked on his drink when she jumped down to greet her.

"What do you think of my wax figure idea?" she showed Dipper and 3 a blond woman with a horse's body in a badly fitting pink dress. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"

_They're saying kill me, kill me now and end my suffering_.

Dipper, being more tactful, said, "Maybe you should carve something from real life".

Mabel shows Dipper another sketch that showed a waffle with disproportionate arms. "Like a waffle, with big arms!"

_What kind of world are you living in?_

"Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family." _Carve Dipper, or I_, 3 told no one in particular. Stan then walked in with his boxers on and asked, "Kids, have you seen my pants?"_ I think I saw them in the freezer._

Mabel stared at him with stars in her eyes. "Oh, Muse. You work in mysterious ways." She said to the ceiling. "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" he asked Dipper, _I ask myself the same thing,_

* * *

><p>A Few Days Later<p>

3, Dipper, and Soos were with Mabel to see her place the finishing touches on Wax Stan. "I think...it needs more glitter." _For you, there is no such thing as too much glitter_. Soos nodded, "Agreed." He handed Mabel a bucket of glitter, who then throws the glitter all over Wax Stan.

At that moment Stan walks in with his pants on but not his shoes, "I found my pants but now I'm missing my" he glances at Wax Stan and screamed and fell over in shock. _That's an extreme reaction to a doppelgänger,_ 3 thought 'looking' at Stan in suspicious.

Mabel asks, "What do you think? Stan grinned and announced "I think...the Wax Museum's back in business!"

* * *

><p>Timeskip<p>

Stan somehow gathered most of town for the reopening of the Wax Museum; Dipper, 3, and Wendy were manning the ticket table. "I can't believe this many people showed up." Dipper said looking around, Wendy nodded, "I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

_Well I doubt its money_. Dipper smirked and held up a 20. "He bribed me" Wendy smirked and did the same and the 2 shared a laugh. _I stand corrected_.

Stan walked up to the microphone and cleared his throat. "You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery.' Please, ladies, control yourselves!"

3 'looked' at them, _wow; they're like wild animals on sugar,_ 3 thought sarcastically.

"As you know," Stan continued, "I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!" he joked and uncovered Wax Stan. There were a few claps and a cough and 3 was dosing as Soos tried to make it more exciting with a keyboard.

"And now a word from our own Mabel-Angelo!" _Augh, puns everywhere,_ she went up to the mic and said, "It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" _Gross! TMI._ "Yeah. I will now take questions!" she pointed to the crazy machine man. "You there!"

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And, follow-up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?" _Not likely .And who was that bald guy, he seemed eager to leave._

"Um...Yes! Next question!" she pointed to a small mousey man in a news reporter outfit.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" _Is that a turkey baster?_ "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Stan said in a long suffering voice. "It certainly is..." Toby said sadly.

"Next question." he points to another reporter that was a tall attractive woman, "Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" _So that's why they're here_.

The audience soon became agitated and started to yell, "That's what I heard! Come on! What a rip-off! Pizza? I want my pizza!" Stan, Dipper, and 3 became nervous. "That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" He escaped via smoke bomb and taking the admission fee with him as the crowd started to riot.

_We should probably barricade ourselves. _

Later that night

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" Stan voiced gleefully, he pointed at Wax Stan and said to Mabel, "Ooh! Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" _Aww, I wanted to watch more Duck-Tective_, 3 whined.

3 was lying on Dipper's bed waiting for them to come back when it 'heard' Stan's scream. _What's going on_? Then Dipper came running into the room and nearly fainted in relief when he saw 3 still where he left it. "Thank God it wasn't stolen" he murmured against the binding.

_Stolen?_ Dipper walked down stairs to and 3 'saw' Mabel on the couch, unconscious and Stan wailing over…his beheaded statue!? _Okay it was jerky to lie about pizza, but attempted murder is a little extreme._ Soon the police show up and Stan explained what happened.

"I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!" Mabel was despairing over her hard work, "My expert handcrafting besmirched. Besmirched!" "Who would do something like this?" Dipper asked no one in particular_. Either it was someone who loves their pizza or really hates Stan; which is about 90% of the town_.

The tall Deputy turned to the short sheriff, "What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?"

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable." He said taking a drink of coffee.

Dipper, Mabel, 3 and Stan all yell "What?!" which caused Blubs to choke on the liquid. _It's not unsolvable; you and your moron of a partner are too stupid and lazy to bother! What if the real Stan was killed, would that be unsolvable too?! _3 screeched in fury_._

Stan was beside himself, "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!"

Dipper, the ever voice of reason and intelligence said, "You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." _Yeah, he could do your job blindfolded and with both hands tied behind his back you lazy louts. _

_"_He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!" Mabel seconded. "All signs pointed to the goat." _Yessssss, the evil, evil goat._ Stan readily agreed, "Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head."

Sheriff Blubs smiled patronizingly, "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" _That's socist_.

"City boy! City boy!" the luging moron called out.

"You are adorable!" Blubs smirked at Dipper. "Adorable?"

The cops continued to laugh at him. "Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" _That's ageist_. _How about I show you an unsolvable crime; no one ever suspects the book, you ineffective morons! _

Suddenly the walkie talkie suddenly crackled to life. "Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat an entire cantaloupe!" _What?_

"It's a 23-16!" _You mean there's actually a code for that!?_

The cops leave and Dipper declared he'd get to the bottom of this to prove he's not adorable; then he sneezed; _aw, you do sneeze like a kitten._

That morning. "Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." _It was probably someone at the reopening who was cheated one too many times by Stan or lost their temper_.

"There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."

"Yeah! Even us!" Mabel agreed. _Don't look at me, I don't have hands._

"In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue." _And that's being optimistic_, 3 thought quietly; _maybe they'll get lucky and get a clue-_ "Hey, look! A clue." _…Soon_, 3 'looked' down and saw foot prints with a hole in them.

Dipper exclaimed, "Footprints in the shag carpet!" "That's weird. They've got a hole in them." "And they're leading to..." they fallowed the prints to an axe they glance at each other and went to the gift shop to talk to Soos.

Dipper asks, "So, what do you think?"

"In my opinion, this is an axe." _Yes, we noticed that._

Mabel had an epiphany, "Wait a minute. The lumberjack!" the twins and their book remember lumberjack's anger and violence yesterday. "He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza." Dipper said. _Yeah…_"Furious enough, for MURDER!"

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." _I wonder how he got that name_.

"Then that's where we're going" Mabel declared. "Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!" Soos declared. _Wait does this make me the loveable pet or ancient guide?_

"Don't call us that." They went to town passing by the evil goat and Stan was pulling out a coffin. He also gave the twins permission to avenge Wax Stan.

"This is the place. Got the fake IDs?" Mabel gives Dipper 2 two cards, Dipper looks at it. _Mabel, this won't work, they're not official enough._ "Here goes nothing."

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan" Mabel said in an official tone while showing unconvincing cards, with googly-eyes.

"Works for me."

The guard opened the door for the twins. _I can't believe that worked_ 3 though as Dipper said they should try to blend in. Dipper interview Dan, but found out that he punched a clock and wasn't at the scene of the crime; they also found out the axe was left-handed, which lead to the twins to determine who's left handed.

They narrowed it down to Toby Determined, the reporter who was using a turkey baster and was upstaged by another reporter. _And he looked so harmless to._ "You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it." Blubs muttered to Dipper. "The evidence is irrefutable."

"It so irrefutable."

"I gonna get to use my match stick!" Durland announced proudly. _I'm pretty sure good police shouldn't be excited for violence, but don't mind me, I'm just a book._ "You ready? You ready little fella?" "On 3! 1, 2 ..." Dipper counted then the police smashed down the door

"Nobody move! This is a raid!"

"Aaaahh! What is this? Some kind of raid?" Toby yelped. _He just said it was a raid._

Dipper announced, "Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan."

While Mabel said, "You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work."

_You have the right to nothing and everything you say or don't say will be used against you with the full force of our liking._

"Allow me to explain. You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoe belong to who has caught left handed." Dipper announced.

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday news." Mabel quipped. _Don't worry, your next scoop would be the gruel served in jail._

"Boy, you're little knees must be sore from jumping to conclusions. I had nothing to do with that murder.

"I knew it! Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?" Dipper asked confused.

"Could you repeat?"

Sheriff Blubs asked, "Then where were you at the night of the break-in?"

Toby Determined then shows them a video that he was in his office making out with a cardboard version of Shandra Jimenez. As he kisses and sweet talked it. _Augh, if I had a stomach and eyes, I'd puke it up and gouged my eyes out with a rusty nail, you creepy perverted man._

"Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." _Damn, now we're back to square 1. _

"But, but it has to be him! Check the axe for fingerprints!" Dipper asked desperately, but it was shown there were no prints. _Nooo_

"Hey I got a headline for you: city kids wasted every one's time." The dumb Deputy quipped maliciously as all the other adults.

_Keep laughing you brain dead dumbasses, you won't be laughing when I snap your neck and bash in your skull…whoa there, calm down 3, starting to get a little homicidal there._

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you two." Toby parted, ignoring his embarrassing video behind him. _Ass._

Time skip

Stan begins the memorial, "Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself." _Just short of ultimate narcissism_. Soos was in tears and shouted, "They're wrong!"

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you a pickpocket in the wax heaven. I'm sorry; I got glitter in my eye!" Stan said as he and Soos left the room crying.

"Those cops are right about me." Dipper said sadly.

_No, no, Dipper, if they're ever going to be right about something then it's going about something stupid or worthless. You're pinkie is worth more than an infinity of them._ 3 told him with passion, wishing for all it's worth that Dipper could hear it's conscious. I may have been 3's awareness, but it could've sworn it saw Dipper smile slightly.

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Mabel said with conviction. _She's right don't let those assholes drag you down to their level, it's a lose-lose situation arguing with the village idiots. _

"But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues." He glanced at the coffin, "Wax Stan shoe has a hole in it?" _It does?_

"All the wax guys have that. So where the pole thingy attaches to their stand thing." Mabel said as a matter of fact. _Wait, all Wax figures then that means_…

Dipper reached the same conclusion, "Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are"

"Standing right behind you." The twins turned to see that all of the wax figures come to life. _I did NOT see that coming._

"Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?" _Who the hell is Coolio?_

Wax Lizzie Borden takes her axe from Mabel as she hyperventilated , "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Congratulations, my two amateur students, you have buried the truth, and now we're going to bury you." Wax Sherlock Holmes said menacingly.

"Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." He took wax Stan's head out from his cape. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically. Uh, no that's sounds too sincere. Slow clap. There we go, nice and condescending." _Control Freak much?_

Dipper was stunned, "But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!"

"Are you... magic?"

Wax Sherlock Holmes laughed condescendingly. "Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! We're CURSED!"

"Cursed! Cursed!" the others chanted

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

Wax Coolio continued, "A haunted garage sale, son!" They explained that they wanted revenge on Stan for locking them away; poor Wax Stan was just an unfortunate accident. "So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" Dipper asked shocked. _Oh, shit!_

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!"

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... DIE." _Can't we talk about this?_ 3 asked wildly as the wax moved in on the twins, "What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel asked frantically.

"I don't know!" _Don't ask me!_ Dipper then threw coffee onto Genghis Khan

"That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!" The two grab decorative candles from the table and point them at the figures. "Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!"

"Decorative candles!" Mabel added. _Birthday candles for toddlers_

"You really think you can defeat us?"

"I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure." "It's worth a shot I guess." The twins said at the same time

"So be it...ATTACK!"

It was a free for all, the axe statue accidently beheaded some of her comrades as Dipper and Mabel melted other. Larry King's head was decapitated and rolled away. It went on until only Holmes was left standing. Dipper and Holmes got into sword/fire poker fights that lead to the roof._.._

"Come back here you brat!" In the scuffle, the 'S' in the sign fell off and Holmes called, "You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!" He managed to disarm, Dipper and was about to kill him. _NOO!_ 3 screamed mentally, moving to cover Dipper's heart with itself acting as a shield. _I won't let you kill him!_

"Any last words?"

"Um... you got any sunscreen?" _Huh?_

"Got any-? What?" He turns and saw that the sun starting to rise. He gasps as he begins to melt,

"No."

"You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision." _Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant_! 3 crowed.

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hullabaloo."

"Case closed!" Dipper said triumphantly as he wipes his hands together and the dust makes him sneeze. _Still adorable._

"Ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!" Sherlock yelled as he 'died.' _First thing he said that I agreed with._

"Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all." Mabel greeted after she disposed of the wax remains.

"I couldn't have done it without my sidekick."

"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick." _No, you're the sidekick; he solved the mystery and beat Holmes so by default he's the leader. _

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?" _Don't mind her; she hates the thought of you being superior to her._

Stan walked in and saw the destruction, "Hot Belgium waffles! What happened to my parlor!?"

Mabel answered, "Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!"

"I decapitated Larry King." _I protected your grandnephew with my body. _

"Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!" Stan said not believing them.

"On the bright side, though, look what we found." Dipper said as he handed Stan Wax Stan's head.

"My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing." _Pass._

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?" Dipper asked nervously

"Oh uh...I'm not so sure..."

Stan and the kids laugh as he noogies Dipper and Mabel. Just then Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs drives up to the window, "Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long slow sip from my cup of coffee." Blubs said tauntingly. _As a matter of fact he did, you fat, screw up._

"Actually, the answer is yes." To the Pine's and 3's delight this triggered the cops to spit hot coffee in each other's face. "It burns! It burns!" Blubs screamed, "My eyes!" They drive away, screaming. _Hmmm, that sounds familiar. _

Stan laughs as a crash was heard nearby, "They got scalded!"

"So, did you get rid of all the Wax Figures?" Dipper asked Mabel.

"I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!"

"Good enough for me!"

_I have a bad feeling about this._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own GF or Stephan King

"Word"-normal

_Word_-3

_**Word**_**-**singing

Warning: 3's temper and language

* * *

><p>The Hand That Rock's Mabel<p>

_Poor tiger, it's cruel to give Tiger a fist that just punches it_, 3 thought sadly, as the twins and Soos cheered. _Must be a human thing._

Suddenly the screen turned blue and dove flew across the screen. "Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about." 'Are you completely miserable? Then you need to meet Gideon.'

"Gideon?" 3 and Dipper asked.

Mabel wondered, "What makes him so special?"

The commercial continued, 'He's a psychic. So don't waste your time with other so-called "man of mystery".' _Isn't that slander towards Stan as it showed Stan in a bad light?_ 'Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy.' _I'm not quite sure, but something really funny just flashed by. And that star looks familiar. _

"Wow, I'm getting all curiously inside!"

Stan walked and growled, "Well, don't get too curiously. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothing but trouble!" _I'm sorry about that; he must steal your chumps._

"Well, is he really psychic?" Mabel asked looking at Dipper, _There is a slight, and I mean slight, chance he could be the real shebang; but he might be another version of Stan_.

"I think we should go and find out."

"Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!" _Green looks good on you._

"Do tents have roofs?" _No they don't, they have tarps._

"I think we just found our loop hole... literally!" Mabel suddenly holds up a string with a loop in it and puts her finger through it. _When did she make that?_

'So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you.'

* * *

><p>A large man in a straw hat and Hula shirt was standing outside the tent, "Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack." <em>That seems familiar.<em> The twins, Soos and 3 entered the tent, which turned out to be a bunch of benches in front of a stage and piano; it reminded 3 of a church.

"Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos." 3 turned its awareness towards the worker named Deuce as Soos glared at his doppelgänger. _Yeah Dipper, it looks like they have a version of you_, 3 thought as it 'saw' a kid behind them that looked like Dipper but with curlier hair and freckles.

"It's starting! It's starting!"

"Let's see what this monster looks like." _Maybe he's bald, titanic, and is hideous._

A figure appeared behind the curtain that became larger and larger until the curtains opened to reveal, a pint sized kid with big white hair. _Wow, I was way off._

"Hello America! My name is Lil Gideon." He said in a squeaky Texan accent. He claps and doves fly out of his hair as the crowd cheers

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper asked confused, _I don't know, from the trashy magazines I gossip with, usually the cuter and sweeter the child star is on the outside, the more eviler and depraved they are in the gooey center _

"But he's so wittle!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, 'Aw.'"

Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says 'aw_.' That's creepy as Hell, and trust me, I've seen gnomes and wax sculptures._

"It came true." Mabel said amazed.

"What? I'm not impressed." _Ditto._

"You're impressed!"

"Hit it, dad!" Gideon called to the man with a bad taste in fashion. _That's his father? I don't see the resemblance. _He threw his sequin cape to a lady which started a brawl between some other ladies_. Why are they fighting over that!? He's like 7 for crying out loud, they're like pedophiles!_

"_**Oh, I can see, what others can't see**_

_**It ain't some sideshow trick, its innate ability**_

_**Where others are blind, I am futurity inclined**_

_**And you too could see, if you was widdle ol me!"**_

Gideon prompts everyone to rise up as he gripped his charm on his bow tie. The crowd plus Dipper all rose up. "Wha…How'd he do that?" _Maybe he is psychic?_

_**You wish your son would call you more**_

_**I sense that you've been here before**_

"Oh, what gave it away?" Blubs asked. _I don't know, maybe the dolls, lunchbox or flags gave it away._

"_**I'll read your mind if I'm able**_

_**Something tells me you're named Mabel"**_

"How'd he do that?"_ Maybe the shirt gave it away._

"_**So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy**_

_**And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!"**_

Gideon finished with a little jig and an obnoxious sign and pyro techniques. _How gaudy, he's trying too hard and he must be a fake._ "Oh...oh my goodness." Gideon panted, exhausted. _Maybe you should lay off the apple pies and roasted pig_, 3 thought as he panted. For some reason, Gideon felt…off to 3, like is aura or something, _could be my awareness playing tricks on me_. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud then Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous." Dipper quipped as they left the tent. _You said it._

"Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!" _He must've used 7 hair spray cans to just do his hair every day._ _We could light a match from 5 feet away and it'll turn into an inferno._

"You're too easily impressed." Dipper said, while they were leaving, 3 could 'feel' eyes piercing their backs.

* * *

><p>Timeskip<p>

"Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face! Blink! Ow." Mabel called out wincing in pain from blinking. _That, looks painful, did you use hot glue or rubber cement?_

"Is that permanent?" _No, the doctor could scrape them off…ye-ouch. I'm glad I don't have skin but for my leather binding._

"I'm unappreciated in my time..." Mabel murmured depressed. The doorbell suddenly rings and Mabel went to get it. She was taking her time even though she said no one was there. 3, curious at what was taking her, stretched out its awareness to see Mabel leaving with…Gideon!? _I didn't know Mabel was into cradle robbing, he's what, 7? Besides I thought she went for older, muscular men, handsome men. Not pudgy little kids who are obviously evil under a sugary exterior._

* * *

><p>Mabel returned later that day, after 3 felt its embossed hand shift into a '2' for a bit then snapped back to 3, <em>that…was weird, was it an omen?<em> 3 thought, faintly disturbed. _"_Hey Dipper. What's going on?" She asked dangling pink claws in front of his face. _Careful, don't claw his eyes out!_

"Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine." Dipper asked.

"I know, right? Rah! I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man." _Who says Dapper anymore? That sounds like something Bill would say,_ 3 thought 'shivering' at the thought of the maniacal demon.

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head." _What about Wendy? Or the nice lady in the diner?_

"Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!" _Contrary to popular belief, Dipper does have some male pride, he's just a chibi…I have got to stop talking to the manga's in the library_.

"What do you mean?" He asked as Soos came in to ask him if he wanted to blow stuff up which he enjoyed.

* * *

><p>Mabel left to meet up with Gideon again and came back looking faintly disturbed.<p>

"It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone." _If you keep throwing bones, they'll eventually try to steal the whole pot roast._

"Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you." _Exactly._

"Pfft, yeah right. I'm not that lovable. Kaboom! Yes!" She shouted as she won the game.

"Ok, we agree on something here." _Don't be such a sore loser, Dipper_. 3 chastised as the doorbell rings, suddenly loud neighing was 'heard' and 3 was flabbergasted to see a huge white horse in the hose with Gideon riding it. _WHAT THE HELL!? WHERE'D HE GET A FRICKING HORSE FROM!?_

"A night of enchantment awaits, milady!" Gideon said, holding out his hand to Mabel who muttered, "Oh boy." _Ditto._

* * *

><p>Timeskip<p>

The next morning, Stan walked in all a huffed up and said, "Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" _Gotta hate those paparazzi, huh, that's strange, wasn't Mabel wearing a purple cat sweater? Why is she wearing a __plain blue __one?_ 3 questioned suspiciously as it 'observed' the picture.

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." Wendy said, glancing up from her magazine. _Wow, news must be slow all the time_.

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great niece!?"

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel? Magidbeleon!" _I hate to repeat myself but, don't quit your day job._

Stan left in a fit as Dipper called out "I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to." _Of course you didn't know, it hasn't even been 12 hours yet. _

"Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" He left with a slam to the door. Soos of course, needed to lighten the mood to say.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door? Nope. Real door." _You must tons of experience with that don't cha._

* * *

><p>After the date<p>

"Hey. How'd it go?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know...I have a lobster now." _Even I don't know what that signifies in human courtship. _

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again. Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?" She turned to face Dipper in frustration.

"BLAARRGG! He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no." _Poor Mabel searching for a boyfriend; when she is interested he turns out to be gnomes, when she's not interested it's a creepy little kid who is._

"Like this: no."

"It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as friends/little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends." _I don't think you were ever friends. _3 said sadly.

* * *

><p>That night<p>

Mabel was pacing in front of Dipper and 3, "...I mean, he's so nice, but...I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. Aaaahh! I have no way out!" she screamed in frustration.

"What in the heck happened on that date?"

"I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!" _I'm so sorry, if I had hands I'd make you some rainbow cake that nice cook book told me about. That would cheer you up._

"Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon." _Yeah, no one can take that choice away from you. _

Stan chose that moment to walk in and announce, "Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!" _Bad timing Stan, how did you go from 'Grr, I'm gonna stop this' to all Gabel? Damn, now Soos has got me doing this too._

"WHAT!?"

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt." He gestured to his "Team Gideon" shirt. _Money. Of course_. "Ughh, I am fat."

Mabel ran screaming out of the room.

"Bodies change, honey. Bodies change..." _Well, I'm a book_.

Dipper and 3 later found Mabel hiding in her sweater upstairs. "Oh no. Mabel..." _Gideon is really trapping her; I hope he stops before he goes too far. There's nothing more dangerous than someone who has nothing to lose._

"Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town." _Sweater town? _

"Are you gonna come out of sweater town?" She just whined and frantically shook her head_. Oh dear, it's worse than I thought._

"All right, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you." Dipper declared. _Would that work?_

"You will?"

He nodded and Mabel tackled him a hug and repeating 'thank you' over and over again. _You'd better bring the shovel and bat you used with her last boyfriend(s)._

* * *

><p>3 and Dipper went to the restaurant where Gideon was waiting at an opulent table with an oversized menu.<p>

"Oh. Dipper Pines how are you? You look good, you look good." _Well that's understandable since you like Mabel and he's her twin…oh god, bad thoughts, bad thoughts, I blame you manga's!_ 3 quickly stuffed that thought in a closet, poured gasoline and lit up the closet and burned the ashes for good measure.

"Thanks, you uh...Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. She's uh… She's kind of weirded out by you, no offense." _You're too clingy and creepy and you trapped her into dating you. _

Gideon's eye twitches and grounded out, "So what you're saying' is... you've...come between us." _I don't like the sound of that or that eye twitch._

"You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?" _Run, I think he's going yandere on you. _

Gideon then chuckled and said, "Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know." _Really? _

"So...ok. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh?" He and 3 walked away and 3 could've sworn it heard him whisper ominously, "Thumbs up indeed, my friend."

Mabel was waiting outside nervously, when Dipper walked over she pounced on him with questions, "How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?" _No he displayed signs of being a yandere. _

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers." _I hope you're right._

* * *

><p>The next day Dipper got a phone call from Toby Determined to have an interview about the weird stuff in town. 3 was suspicious, it was way too close to after Dipper broke things off between Mabel and Gideon. <em>I hope I'm just being paranoid<em>.

Both Dipper and 3 traveled to a remote factory outside of town_. My danger sense is tingling; this is taking things to a bit darker tone now._

Dipper opened the rusted door and called out, "Hello?" _Dipper! First rule of horror movies, never call out 'hello' in a seemingly abandoned warehouse!_ He turned to leave and the door closes on its own. _I told you!_ He bangs on the door and turns around when lights start turning on.

Gideon then turns towards them petting a doll of himself, "Hello friend." _Okay you graduated from creepy cute, to creeper level. _

"Ughh, Gideon." Dipper said in disgust, _don't agitate him!_

"Dipper Pines. How long have been living' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"

"What do you want from me, man?" Dipper asked angrily glaring at the 9-year-old.

"Listen carefully, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!" _You just got here yourself, kid! Besides, he has me!_

"Is this about Mabel? I told you, she's not into you!"

"LIAR! YOU turned her against me! She was my peach dumpling!" _No, you turned her against yourself._

"Uh, you ok, man?" Dipper asked nervously, he was suddenly levitated up and thrown into boxes of merchandise. _This just turned into Stephen King territory. _

"Reading minds isn't all I can do."

"But-but you're a fake." Dipper said, terrified.

"Oh tell me, Dipper: is this fake?" Gideon asked maliciously as he began throwing junk at Dipper as he dodged. _Oh God, run! Defend yourself against the not cute, chibi psychic yandere!_

"Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!" Dipper screamed at him

"Your sister will be mine!" _That is messed up! And you and your doll are to!_

Dipper grabbed a baseball bat and gets up and charges at Gideon with the bat. Gideon levitates Dipper and he drops the bat, "She's never gonna date you, man!" _Especially if you kill her twin!_

"That's a lie." Gideon levitates a pair of lamb shears, and a chill settled on 3's consciousness. "And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend. "

Mabel suddenly bursts through the door, "Gideon! We have to talk!" _I don't know if you have the best or worse timing. _

"M-Mabel. My marshmalla" He drops the shears to hide what he was about to do. "What are you doing' here?"

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself." _This is the WORSE possible time here, if you hadn't notice, Mabel!_

"I-I don't understand."

"Uh, Mabel!? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!" _I agree!_

"Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?" _He's trying to kill your brother, here! _

"Really?" Gideon says hopefully.

Mabel suddenly grabs the amulet and yells, "No, not really! You were like, attacking my brother, what the heck!?" _Nice one!_

"My tie! Give it back!" Mabel throws the amulet to Dipper and he catches it.

"Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?"

Gideon runs at him, making him drop the amulet and breaking through the window. _Oh no! Please God, let Dipper land on a convenient pillow plant and Gideon on broken glass. _Even when falling to either great injury or death, they still fought. Just when they'd hit the ground, they'd stopped. 3, Dipper, and Gideon looked up to see Mabel floating down with Gideon's amulet.

"Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you." She throws the amulet to the ground and smashes it.

"MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle...ol me!" He then walks backwards into the dark forest. _What is up with people walking backwards?_

* * *

><p>Back at the Shack, Stan was complaining and hanging up a crying clown painting, "I could have it all." He looks at the twins and asks, "What the heck happened to you two?"<p>

"Gideon." The Pines twins and 3 grumbled as one.

"Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or something."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?"

"He'll NEVER guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a NEGATIVE number." _Ask which card we chose?_

Dipper, Mabel, 3, and Stan laugh themselves to tears. "Uh, oh. He's planning' on destruction right now!"

After that, the twins decided to turn Soos into a human disco ball with sequin as Stan looks on annoyed. _But still,_ 3 thought as the twin's laughed, _where did he get that amulet in the first place?_ 3 suddenly had a vision of Gideon closing a book that looked like 3 but instead had a 2 embossed in the hand. 3 'gasped' and said, _I think, its only just began_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Was I pushing it giving other books consciousness? R&R. **


	5. Chapter 5

Journal chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own

Word-normal

_Word_-3/book talking

_**Word**_-singing

Warnings for 3's language and temper, mention of drugs i.e. Smile Dip

* * *

><p>Inconvincing<p>

_And so the top movie of the summer is_ _Sunset 5: Sunrises part 2__…_

It was a boring day at the Mystery Shack, Mabel was spinning on a globe, Dipper was reading 3, and Wendy was reading one of the magazines 3 gossiped with. Dipper was reading one of 3's entries and out of the blue asked, "Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?"

"I believe you're a big dork! Ha ha ha!" 3, broke away from its chat with the magazine to scold Mabel, _he was just asking a question, no need to be rude to your brother._

Dipper got revenge by placing a pencil on the spinning globe to force Mabel to fall off as Stan walked in. _That was petty, hilarious, but petty._

"Soos! Wendy!" Soos came running in to ask what he needed.

"I'm heading' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?" _Glad I don't work here or have hands._

"Yes, sir!" Soos said saluting.

"Absolutely not!" she said also saluting. _I second that motion. _

Stan chuckled and left, and then Wendy called the twins and 3 over and pulled away a beat up curtain

"Hey guys! What's this? A secret ladder to the roof?" _Then it's no longer a secret now, huh missy._

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that." _Aw, what he doesn't know won't hurt us. _Wendy then began to repeat 'Huh' over again to freak-out Soos and lead the twins up to the roof.

"Can we actually go up there?"

"Sure we can! Roof time! Roof time!"

Dipper and Mabel climbed up the ladder to follow Wendy saying it also, "Roof time! Roof time!" _Roof time! Roof time!_

They scrambled up to a hidden platform that was decked out with a lawn chair, a bucket of pinecones and a box of ice. _How hasn't that melted yet and what's with the pinecones?_ "Alright, check it out!"

"Did you put all this stuff up here?" Dipper asked looking around.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, every day." She said causally as she picked up a pinecone. _How are you not fired yet?_ She throws it hits at the totem pole that had a target on it. "Yes!"

"Cool, me first!" The twins shouted and started throwing cones until Dipper accidently hits a car. _Ooh, 50 points!_

"Jackpot! Hi five ... Don't leave me hanging. Dipper looks at Wendy with a faraway look and smile then high-fives her_. Looks like someone has a crush_. 3 said in a sing-song voice.

Suddenly a van pulls up and calls out for Wendy after being assured that the twins won't tattle on her, she slid down 2 trees and hoped in the van and they drove off.

"Later Wendy! Heh heh heh! Good times!" Dipper said waving wildly and stuttering with a flush. _Dipper and Wendy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G._ Mabel had the same idea and began to tease Dipper also.

"Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her!" _Don't jinx yourself, little man._ That night he did just that.

"Uh-oh." _Told you, Tiger_

* * *

><p>The next morning started with a dance part both Wendy and Mabel decided to do. Dipper was writing 'I am pretending to write something down.' While watching them, <em>careful, approaching stalker territory Dipper, <em>3 thought annoyed.

"Dipper!"

"Uh what, yes?"

"Aren't ya gonna get in on this?" Wendy asked, indicating a still dancing Mabel

"I don't really dance." _Two left feet? _

"Ya, you do! Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do..." she whispered something in Wendy's ear. 3 thought it heard the Hammy Desk?

"Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance." He muttered angrily with a flush. _Lamby Dance? Sounds like something out of those pre-k shows. _

"Lamb costume? Are there little ears and a tail or...?" Wendy asked curiously_. Did you wear a fleece to?_

"Well uh, uh..."

"Dipper would prance around and sing about grazing…" Mabel was interrupted from her embarrassing story by the cuckoo clock. _Great timing clock,_ 3 was relieved, it only wanted to tease him, not humiliate him.

"Oh, look at that! Quitting time! The gang's waiting for me."

"Wait! Why don't I-or we come with you?" _Want to spend time with Weeen-Deee. _

"Ooh… I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?" _I think I'm 33. _

"We're thirteen! So, technically a teen." Dipper fibbed a little

"All right. I like your moxy, kid! Let me get my stuff."

"Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?" _Well, you're 12 and a few quarters, so if you round that out, you guys are 13. _

"Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendy and whatever."

"I knew it! You love her!" She dances around Dipper as she points at him and sings, "Love love love love love!" _Oh, lay off him, he doesn't tease you when you have a_ _crush,_ 3 thought, getting tired of teasing Dipper about Wendy. It made 3 feel, odd.

"Oh hey, what's that?" He points in a random direction and flips her hair over her face. _So devious._

* * *

><p><em>I hope Dipper doesn't grow up to be like this<em>, 3 thought as they went outside to see 2 teens hold a large one upside down where a Goth kid was throwing candy at the teen with a girl with dyed hair who was glued to her phone. Wendy beat the Goth kid with her own candy as Dipper, 3, and Mabel walked over with her.

"Wendy!" They all yelled.

"Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Mabel, and Dipper." Wendy said introducing the twins. _What am I, a candy wrapper?_

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH!" Mabel said ruining her first impression towards the teens. _Way to go; now they think we're idiots._

"She's not much for first impressions. Unlike this guy! ...this guy..." _Sigh, I'm 3, a book that contains secrets about the town you've never known about. _

The Goth kid started, "So are you, like, babysitting, or"

"Come on, Robbie! Guys, this is Lee and Nate." The teens punched each other as they laughed. _Why do humans hurt each other? Is pain that hilarious?_

"Tambry." She mumbled something, eyes still glued to her phone. _Nice to meet you too._

"Thompson, who once ate a run over waffle for 50 cents." _Umm, okay._

"Don't tell them that!"

"And Robbie. You can probably figure him out." _A Goth kid who thinks he suffered so much and will play his way through life by playing guitar. Standard rebel_.

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower." _You have an obsession with muffins._

"Oh, you mean the big muffin!" _Exactly!_

"Um, it's a giant explosion." Robbie said put off.

"Hehe! Kind of does look like a muffin!" One of the teens laughed as the other joins in. Robbie just glared at Dipper for ruining introduction.

"Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!" Wendy said as everyone got into the car.

"Sorry kid, I'll ride shotgun alright?" Robbie said to Dipper with a sneer. _What an ass._

"Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so..." The teens did the opposite and chanted, "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" _Do you think if I said that homework was lame and that guitars wore in, would they do the opposite_?

Mabel crossed out some rude graffiti and replaces it with something polite, "Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!" _You know Mabel, I think you're right._

"Mabel, please!"

"What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new GIRLFRI"

Dipper slapped a hand over her mouth and then she licked it.

* * *

><p>"There it is fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!" <em>Why was it condemned in the first place? <em>

"Ha! Cool!"

"Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or"

"TRY MURDER!" _That's…sad and a little scary. _

"Yeah, some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since!" the teen said in relish. _Pain must be entertaining, why else would humans love it so much._

"This town has such a colorful history!" Mabel said happily. _Try the color red, sweetie._

"Are you guys serious?" Dipper said nervously, _I'm starting to think was a bad idea_ 3 and Dipper thought.

"Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man! It's not as bad as it looks!" Wendy said as she climbed over the fence.

"Come on, Dipper!" _You can do it._

"Okay, okay! Just gotta get a foothold..."

"Dude, your sister did it!" Robbie said pointing at Mabel running in a circle.

One of teens got tired of waiting and threw Dipper over, "Hey, you know what. Just...There you go." Dipper landed painfully on the ground. _Are you hurt!? Damn that stupid prick! He could've killed you!_

"Ha! S-sorry dude!"

"Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius!"

"Your mom's a genius..." _That was a compliment you moron._

Wendy looks in the window of the store, "Wow! This place is amazing!" _It looks dusty… _

Robbie pulled on the door, but it seemed rusted shut, he called out "I think it's, it's stuck!"

"Let me take a crack at it!" Dipper said trying to look good. _Not unless you have some spare oil on your person._

Robbie scoffed, "Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules!" _No need to be rude._

"Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid." Wendy said, annoyed.

Dipper then narrowed his eyes; he walked over to the store side, scrambled up the dumpster and on to the roof. He walked towards the vents and began to punch the opening. _Don't push yourself, Dipper, that guy isn't worth breaking your fingers for._

"Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing!" Mabel cheered from the ground as Dipper finally punched out the vent and crawled inside. He kicked out the vent inside and landed on the floor. _Wow, it's creepier and dustier inside then out, 3 thought as Dipper walked to the door._ Suddenly, 3 felt a malevolent chill down its awareness; it 'looked' around but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Nether less 3 kept itself on alert.

Dipper opened the door and everyone walked in.

"Good call inviting this little maniac!" _He IS a maniac, who else would follow a book into the unknown. _

"Your new name is Dr. Fun Times!" _Dr. Fun Times? DFT for short?_

"Nice work!" Wendy complemented.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?" _Well there are living wax statues, murderous psychics, and gnomes; it wouldn't be hard to believe that life after death exists. Besides, I think there's an entry about ghosts somewhere. _

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?" 3 suddenly notice the sign turned by itself from "Get lost! We're closed". To "Yes, we're open."

_Oh boy_.

* * *

><p>"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!"<p>

Mabel confirmed it by licking the dust off her finger, "Yep. It's dust." _What did you expect? Grey colored sugar?_

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?" _No genius, they're probably cremated or six feet under. _

"Shut up, man!" _Sound advice, you should follow it._

Wendy found the light switches, "Guys, check it out! You think these still works?" The lights flicker on to show a colorful store instead of the dreary, creepy place from when they first entered.

"Jackpot!" Mabel shouted.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Dipper asked curiously.

"Anything we want."

* * *

><p>It soon dissolved into a food fight with expired food, cat food, Mentos soda and a team vs team match. Soon Mabel discovered something called "Smile Dip" that was covered in tape reading 'do not sell'.<p>

"Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!" _It must've been here right before the ban and the owners died before they could get rid of it._

"Maybe they had a good reason." Dipper said before he got hit by a balloon full of food and ran off.

Mabel then decided to eat the entire package.

* * *

><p>"Hey come here we got it ready!"<p>

"Whatever it is I'll do it!"

"Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary."

"Really?"

Wendy nodded and gestured around the store, "Just look around. The guys are bonding." Lee, Nate, and Robbie were stuffing ice into Thompson's pants. _Why the only mature one around here is Dipper, and he's 12. _

"I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long." She only glances up for 2.4928402475389 nanoseconds

"And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip." 3 'looked' over and was a little concerned; she looked sick and a little high.

"Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?" Mabel asked no one, he eyes then dilated and began to munch something in front of her. _No wonder it was banned, it's like powdered LCD._

"You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age." _Yeah, he's more mature then about 95% of this town, that's for sure. _

"Yes, yes I am."

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" _Why? Didn't have enough to give your friend frostbite on an embarrassing area?_

"I'm on it!" He jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer. He takes a bag of ice, but looks up to see a floating brain with two eyes glaring at him. _ #$%! WHAT THE FRICK IS THAT THING!?_ "Aah!" He slams the door shut and opens it slowly but the Cooler Monster is not there. _Did you see that thing!? It was creepy and I don't know how to describe it!_

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here."

"You freaking out, kid?" _I know I am!_

"Uh, no. I'm cool. Everything's cool." _Yeah, so is your blood!_

"Then what's all this about?" Robbie, being the ever jerk pointed to the spilled ice.

"That's uh, um uh...hey look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" _Where?_

The teens were distracted and went off to check it out; he nervously looked back than walked away. _Did we imagine it?_

* * *

><p>The machine called out, "Dance! Hurry up!"<p>

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" The teens chanted Thompson on.

"Wow. He's really terrible at this." _Yeah, old man McGucket dances better._

"Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great." He glances over to the glass door and sees the reflections of Wendy, Robbie, Tambry, Thompson and himself. Their skin, however, is replaced by bones. _That doesn't seem friendly!?_ Dipper rubs his eyes and everything is back to normal,

"I'll be right back." He ran off to use a telephone and called Stan, "Come on, Grunkle Stan, pick up! Ugh, what is he doing!?" _Maybe watching a chick flick involving a duchess_, 3 joked tensely. Dipper then gave up to walked over to Mabel who was in front of the Smile Dip stand. _Is_ _that stuff addicting?_

"Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!" _Just say you're bored and let's do a freaky ritual to summon a demon in the woods. _

Mabel makes a gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face, clothes, and her eyes are small and green.

"Mabel?" _Oh no! I think she's OD! _

Dipper shook her and asks, "Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?"

"Beleven…Teen..." _Maybe she means 11-to-15 packets._

"Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man."

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this!" Robbie called out. Everyone but Mabel walked over to see those white silhouettes the police use to show where dead bodies were. _Wow, are all cops incompetent in this town?_

"Then the rumors are true!" Lee gaped as Dipper gulped.

"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it." _Have some respect for the dead!_

"Good idea! Go lie down in it!"

"I'm a dead body, look!" He walks on the markings.

"Wait! Maybe let's not do that."

"This guy's scared!" _No_,_ he at least respects the dead. _

"All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean…What if this place really is... haunted?" _I think it is. _

"Boo! Ah c'mon!" The teens complained

"Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill!" Robbie said. _What happened to DFT?_

"I thought I was Dr. Fun Times." _I know right!_

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right?"

"Yeah, little bit." Wendy grumbled. _You traitor! Fine go get yourselves killed by ghosts, then we'll see who's a buzz kill!_

Tambry finally said something, "Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old." _Status update: trapped with disrespectful punks who are going to be slaughtered by ghosts. Booya!_

Dipper huffed and lay down on the tape. _Bad move!_

"I'm not a 9-year-old! I'm 13! Technically a teen!"

The tape markings light up and the lights go out. Tambry looks up and dissolves. _What the!?_

Dipper picks up her phone, reading from it: Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH! _How did she type that so fast?_

Tambry suddenly appears on security camera screen, everyone starts screaming

"Tambry! Tambry!"

"Can you hear us!?" Dipper called.

"What are we supposed to do!?"

"I don't know man! I don't know!" _I think Father wrote something about ghosts! _

"Let's just go already!" Robbie called, _and leave your friend behind? What a __great__ friend_, 3 thought angrily.

"Thompson!" Wendy calls to the teen still playing.

"Wait! I've almost got the high score!" He then dissolves into the game. _Was it worth it_?

The game called, "It's time to shake what your mama gave you!"

"No! So many arrows!" _That looks painful_.

"You're a dance machine!"

"No! You're a dance machine!" He screamed crying.

"Thompson!" Wendy cried out.

"Forget them! Let's go!" Robbie said heading for the door, it closed in his face. Wendy tried to open it but found that it was locked.

"OUTTA MY WAY!" Robbie throws the cash register at the doors, but it dissolves and green light flies at Robbie. _Serves you right for abandoning your friends!_

Dipper pulls out 3 and 3 guides him to the ghost entry, "Wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason! Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!"

""Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!" Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!" _I don't see you coming up with any ideas o' Mighty Smart One! _

"I don't know guys; maybe he's got a point!" Wendy said.

"Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" He dissolved onto a cereal box where the Toucan tries to stab him with a spoon.

"Lee! Okay, okay… I'm with you kid! 100%, man!" _Finally, some sense._

Mabel then flies up from behind the counter, possessed by something.

Mabel, in a deep voice said, "Welcome."

The remaining people and book screams.

Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy

"They got Mabel!"

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers." The ghost laughs.

"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!" Wendy said as Robbie nodded mutely.

"Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?" Dipper asked

"Well... okay. You're free to go. But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!" He? Said opening the door as Robbie and Nate ran for the door.

"Just kidding about the hot dog sale!"

"Just let us out of here already!"

"I don't like your tone!" The ghost said angry as Nate dissolves.

"No! I'M A HOT DOG!"

"It begins. Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

"Dipper, what do we do?!" Wendy asked frantic._ Duck!_

"DUCK!" Dipper screamed as a shelf came flying towards them.

"Look! In there!"

Dipper and Wendy ran towards the ice machine and panted.

"What do they want from us?!"

"Revenge, I guess?"

"What did we do wrong?"_ Other than trashing the place and messing with the death tape?_

"Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken: Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic, and it doesn't make any sense!"

"Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things." _That's it!_

"Wendy, say that last part again."

"Normal teenage things?"

"Of course! Stay here until I get back!" _Where are we going?_

"Dude, what are you doing?!"

Dipper walked up to the ghost who was in the center of a small whirlwind, "Hey ghost!"

The ghost twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, and then turns the rest of her body towards him. _That's just wrong on sooo many level's._

"I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!"

Suddenly, everything floating in midair drops and an elderly couple comes out of nowhere with the man holding Mabel by her hair. "Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so?"

Mabel suddenly regains consciousness and rubs her head. _Why did the old guy possess Mabel not the woman?_

"How old did you say you were?"

"I'm twelve, technically not a teen." Dipper said reluctantly.

"When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store!" _Seeing what these guys did here, I can see that. _

The old man continued, "Always sassafrassing with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants! So we decided to up and ban them! But they retaliated with this new-fangled rap music."

The old woman continued, "The lyrics, they were so, hateful!"

"It was so shocking; we were stricken down with double heart attacks!" _Oh…well…I guess that's better way to go then some of the usual scenario's that could befall other shop worker's, I think. _

She continued on brightly, "That's why we hate teenagers so much! Don't we, honey?" They then began to cuddle together, _that's sweet in a squeamish way._

"But they're my friends, isn't there anything I can do to, help them?"

"There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances?" _Why? They must be missing their grandkids, if they had any,_ 3 reasoned.

"Uh... is there anything else I can do?"

He lights himself on fire and screams, "NOOOO!" _Talk about pushy._

Dipper yelled, and then reluctantly admitted, "OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um... Well, I do know...the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it, without a lamb costume!" _Good thinking, what are the odds they have a lamb costume in your size._

Pa then snaps his fingers and Dipper is in a lamb costume. _Well damn_.

Dipper sighed defeated, "Oh, well... there it is.

**_Wellll..._**

**_Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? I do! I do! _**

**_So go up and greet your Mammy mammy mammy! _**

**_Hi there! Hi there! So march march march around the daisies..._**

**_Don't don't don't you forget about the babies!_**" He finished with a wink. _I feel embarrassed for you _

"That was so fine, girly dancing boy! You're friends are free."

Dipper got his clothes back and the ghosts vanished and he said, "Well I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so... "

"Ughh... I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again." Mabel groaned out, holding her stomach.

"Hey!" Dipper picks up a package of Smile Dip, "There's still some left!" _Whatever you do don't eat it!_

She shot up and slapped it out of his hand, "EVIL!"

"What-what happened after everything went crazy?" One of the teens seated on the floor asked Wendy who replied, "You are never going to believe it! The ghosts appeared and Dipper had to_..." If you tell them about the dance I'll personally nominate you to be the new gnome queen!_ 3 yelled protectively. _Dipper saved your asses by sacrificing his dignity; you had better not throw him under the bus!_

Wendy notices Dipper looking here pleadingly. "Uh, I mean, Dipper just grabbed a bat, and just started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and just ran away like a couple of little girls, it was insane!"

"Alright! Dr. Fun Times!" _So he's DFT again, God make up your minds._

Wendy turns to Dipper and zips lips who repeated the action. _Good._

* * *

><p>Everyone but Wendy, Dipper, and 3 was sleeping in the van as they talked outside, "Well, I'm probably scarred for life." <em>Hey, I, Mabel and Dipper seen more wild stuff then 2 anti-teen ghosts, and we seem just fine.<em>

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy." _Not as crazy as Gideon._

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out; let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?" _Yeah, we have been attracting a lot of supernatural things lately; maybe it's for the best that we stay close to home for now._

"Next time? Yah! Let's hang out at the Shack! Next time..."

"OHHHHH..." Mabel groaned then sees the thing she wrote earlier and moaned, "What kind of sick joke is this?" _Yours._

_But there is one thing I want to know,_ 3 thought as they drove away.

_Where was Robbie between the hotdog Nate and when everything got back to normal?_


	6. Interlude-Or Dipper finds out

Interlude or Dipper finds out

Disclaimer: I don't own

Word- normal/ speaking

_Word_- 3 or books talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language

**A/N: I was considering doing this after Time Traveler's Pig, but since you guys asked for this, I decided to do this now. Warning, it'll have a slight canon divergence.**

* * *

><p><em>I can't believe them! How can they make fun of him when he could've died!?<em> 3 shout in fury in the twin's room.

_What did they do this time? _Two voices near 3 asked, one was quiet, the other annoyed. 3 turned its attention to two of the twins other books. One was Dipper's mystery book with a ridiculously long and tongue twisting title that was called C for short, the other was Mabel's favorite book called Sunset; it was a popular story about a love triangle between a girl, werewolf, and vampire.

C was analytical and often got into arguments with 3 about its entries and whether or not they are real. Sunset on the other hand, was quiet and easily embarrassed about its story, it is also 3's best friend. It was thanks' to Sunset that 3 figured out why a vampire was preferable to gnomes.

_Well, Dipper and me- _

_Dipper and I_, C corrected.

3 'glared' at C, then continued_; Dipper and I were exploring the forest, same old same old. When out of nowhere, a snake came out a bit Dipper on the arm!_

_Oh dear_, Sunset gasped, _Is he hurt? Dying? Bloating up with-_

_No Sunset, if it was then 3 would've said something to that affect. It's just was mad at the group of people for something_; C said, cutting off Sunset's tirade. _What happened after?_

_Dipper was panicking a bit and ran back to the Mystery Shack where Soos, Mabel, and Wendy playing with the evil goat. Dipper tried to get them to take him to the hospital but what did they do instead? They laughed at his voice! They started to tease his cracking voice and even made a mix tape of it! Who the hell even does that!? He could be dying and they made fun of him!_ 3 ranted.

_Is he?_

_No, but he could've and that's the point! Dipper is now so depressed, he left me here to walk off somewhere, he even forgot about his bite that could be infected for all we know! _

_Dipper's mature and intelligent, unlike some people in this town, I'm sure once he calmed down, he'll treat himself and be back for 3 and go hunting for 3's silly, made up monster's under the bed,_ C said dismissively

_You know they're real, but you are too scared to admit that they exist! _This lead to another of C's and 3's arguments while Sunset tried to mediate and was overshadowed.

They were so far into the fight they didn't notice Dipper walking into the door with a vial of liquid. He had gone on a walk and Old Man McGucket had given him a vial of a serum to permanently change his voice. If it was temporary he would've taken it, but since it was permanent, he'd decide to take it later. He didn't notice one of his sister's bouncy balls in front of him until he slipped on it.

He cried out in shock and landed on his chin and the vial went sailing out of his hand. C and 3 broke off of their argument when they realized Dipper was in the room. _Except for that bruise on his chin, he is perfectly fine. _C told 3 smugly, _yeah but actions speak louder than-_

3 was cut off when the vial broke on 3 and the liquid seeped into its cover and pages,_ "words."_

Dipper, still dazed from the fall, snapped his head up when he heard a raspy voice speak in the empty room. "Who's there!? Show yourself!?" Dipper shouted, wildly looking around, but finding no one. The books on the other hand were shocked. _3, I think he heard you,_ Sunset whispered to 3 frantically.

_"Yeah"_ 3 croaked.

Dipper whipped his head towards 3 and saw the broken vial and the still damp book. "Don't tell me." _Tell you what?_ 3 thought.

He picked up 3 and stared at it, thoughts racing. Don't tell me the voice serum effects inanimate objects, Dipper thought. But if it did then the glass it was in and the bedspread would be talking to. Maybe, just maybe, Journal 3 was…alive?

Deciding to test it out, he nervously asked, "Book 3? Can you talk?" he felt a bit stupid asking it out loud.

3, meanwhile, had a 'heart attack' so to speak. Here was its greatest desire and 3 was too scared to act on it_. Go ahead!_ Sunset shouted in encouragement_. You'd never know unless you try,_ came surprisingly from C.

"_Um, hi. I think I can."_ 3 answered hesitatingly. Dipper nearly dropped 3 in shock and sat down on his bed heavily. Please don't tell me I've gone crazy, he thought.

"_Dipper,"_ 3 began shyly, not wanting to freak him out to much, _"Can you tell me how I am talking. I mean, you never heard me before that liquid fell on me."_

"Wait, you were alive before!"

"_Well…yes."_

"Okay then." Dipper ruthlessly rounded up his spinning thoughts, "I was pretty bummed about my cracking voice and I found Old Man McGucket."

"_That crazy guy with the robot?"_

"Yeah, that one, anyway he gave me a serum to change my voice and I was going to take it before I tripped and splashed it on you."

"_Well, I'm glad you didn't take it."_ Seeing his offended expression, 3 quickly added, "_I am grateful for the chance to talk to you and all. But don't get me wrong, I like your voice how it is, it's unique and it's just changing. Besides, it fits you better than say, a commercial voice over would."_ 3 finished with a laugh.

Dipper smiled, maybe having a talking book wouldn't be too bad. Then it dawned on him that he can get answers that been bugging him for a while now. "So…3, do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

3 'smiled,' _"Not at all, I'll try to answer you to the best of my knowledge. If I can ask you a question?"_ It said warmly.

"You already did, put you can ask another."

3 laughed and sobered, _"How long will this serum last?"_

Dipper chuckled nervously, and said, "It's kind of permanent."

3 mauled it over and said, _"Now I'm really glad you didn't take it and I'm really happy I can finally talk to you. You have no idea how much I wanted to talk to you since you found me. I will tell you right now I am a bit of short tempered and I can be rather sarcastic too."_

Dipper smiled and said, "Thanks for the warning."

"_What do you want to know?" _3 asked, mood lifting.

"Okay, can you tell me who wrote you?"

3's mood fell, _"I'm sorry, I can't give you the name since I don't know it myself, all this time I called him 'Father'. I do know what he looks like, but that was at least 30 years ago when he put me in the cubby you found me in. But since all this time has passed…"_

"You wouldn't know him if you passed him by."

"_Yes."_

"It was worth a shot." Dipper thought again and asked, "How did you know what he looked like anyway? I don't see any eyes on you."

3 perked back up_, "Oh that's easy, I have an 'awareness' so to speak, about the size of the den or the porch if I really stretched it. In that bubble, I can see and hear anything if I put my attention on it." _

Dipper decided not to push the author for now. Instead, he asked more about 3. "I see, are you the only one? Or are there any other sentient books?"

Deliberately not understanding the question, 3 answered, "_To my knowledge there is a Book 1 and Book 2, but I don't know where they are." _3 didn't want Dipper to know that most books had and awareness, he's already freaked out enough as it is.

"Can you tell me about yourself?"

3 stopped dead, flummoxed, it didn't expect Dipper to ask about itself. _"Well…"_ it began hesitantly, _"I don't like goats, gnomes or Wax statues."_

Dipper chuckled, "Same here, except for the goats."

"_Why not? It always eyes me, I know it's waiting for you to let your guard down and eat me!"_ 3 cried in paranoia.

Dipper full out laughed as 3 ranted about the evils of goats. Maybe finding out 3 was alive isn't all bad. He also wondered how to tell Mabel about this.

Dipper decided against it, there'll be no harm in having a little secret.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well there you guys have it, Dipper at least now knows that 3 is alive and it can now talk. Do you guys think this came in too quickly? And whether or not Mabel will find out about 3? Please read and review. For those who didn't notice, this was based off "Voice Over" from the "Bottomless Pit."**


	7. Chapter 6

Journal chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own

Word-normal

_Word_-3 thinking

"_Word"-_3 talking to Dipper

Warnings for 3's temper and language; slight canon divergences.

* * *

><p>Dipper vs Manliness<p>

It's been 3 days since Dipper found out about 3 being alive and 3 was getting used to 'speaking' aloud or keeping to its own thoughts to itself. After a few errors, 3 thought they nailed it. They both agreed to keep this a secret from Mabel.

Dipper to relish the feeling of having a secret from his twin and 3 because it thought she couldn't keep a secret. It didn't want to end up in a lab with the Men in Black.

Today there was a guy taking WAY too long to decide which shirt to buy. "I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" _There are snow globes,_ 3 thought as Dipper and Mabel came in the store to beg for food.

"Uh, how about these crystals?" Stan said as he pulled out a bowl of broken glass in an effort to get the guy out of the shack.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass." _That's what I thought._

"What are you, a cop?"

"Ooh! What is that new thing?" The guy said running in a random direction.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper began, making sure that 3 was still in his vest.

"Can we go to the diner? We're hungry." Mabel groaned with Dipper and they bumped their growling stomachs together.

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind."

Said yahoo was looking at a trout covered in carpet, "Do you have this in another animal?"

"_We'll be here all day."_ 3 whispered to Dipper, who cracked a smile.

"I'm fine locking him inside if you are." Stan said and they stuck a board through the handle with a closed sign in the door.

* * *

><p>The Pines family plus 3 entered the diner where Old Man McGucket was on a caffeine high with the incompetent cops was seeing how fast they can eat pancakes. Stan smiled at the nice waitress and called out, "Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?"<p>

"I got hit by a bus!" _Well, you look okay?_ 3 thought confused as Stan laughed, thinking it was a joke.

"Thank you." _So it was a joke?_

"You do split plates, right?"

"Maybe...Wink!" She forces her eye to wink as both 3 and Dipper cringe. _"That's disgusting."_ 3 whispered to Dipper who imperceptibly nodded.

"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady and a small plate of ketchup for the boy." _That's not food you cheapskate!_ 3 shouted in its thoughts, it decided to only curse and yell in its 'head' as it didn't want to draw attention to them.

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" Mabel whined, tugging on Stan's sleeve.

"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?" _"That dollar bill says otherwise."_

Dipper smiled then noticed a manliness tester that had a prize of pancakes. "Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester." _"I don't think that's a good idea, those things are usually rigged." _

"Trust me on this." He whispered back.

"Manliness Tester?"

"Beating?" Mabel asked disbelievingly, and then burst into laughter with Stan. _You could at least have some confidence in your brother, you know. _

"He says he's...he says he…HA HA HA!"

"What? What's so funny?" Dipper asked disheartened while 3 growled lowly at them.

"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly "Manly Mannington." Mabel said laughing. _That's rude._

"Hey I am too "Manly Manny" or whatever it is you said."

"_Mannington."_

"Right."

"Look, face the music, kid. You got have no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's, "incident." _Oh screw off, you sing in the bathroom to more embarrassing songs then BABBA._

"You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation "BABBA"?" _You listen to test tube, generic boy bands so you have no room to talk. _

"No. Heh heh, I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?" He said as he took off his shirt_, yeah, they're really fine though, but visible, if you ignore the blinding light._

"Put it away, put it away!" Mabel cried, shielding her eyes.

"So smooth! My eyes!"

"Aw man..." Dipper said disheartened. _"If it makes you feel better, I believe in you."_ 3 said as the others laughed at him.

"Fine. Family of little faith. Get ready to eat your words. And a plate a delicious pancakes."

Dipper walks toward the manliness tester and psyched himself out to get ready. _"Remember, it's all in the wrists." _3 cheered. This got a smile out of Dipper and calmed down his anxiety and drowned out Stan's impatient outburst. It was this encouragement he went from wimp to middle aged woman. A card comes out saying; you better go get your husband. This was better than cutie patootie.

"Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken guys! It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-" Dipper was interrupted by Manly Dan pushing him out of the way and cracking his knuckles. "It's rickety man, you shouldn't even-"

Manly Dan pushes on the handle with his pinky and the machine automatically goes to "Manly Man" before exploding and announces free pancakes for everyone. Everyone cheered while Mabel and Stan laughed at Dipper. _That's just showing off and not to mention rude,_ 3 huffed silently.

"I need to get some chest hair and fast." He tripped over a beaver poking out of the floor and ran out.

* * *

><p>"Not manly enough, stupid diner, stupid lumberjack..." Dipper muttered to himself.<p>

"_Cheer up Dipper, his name is MANLY Dan, you saw what he did. I bet it implodes every time he brushes past it and they have to rebuild it from scratch to even withstand his touch. I bet without him you would've got at least a passable."_ 3 comforted, and then a stream of water splashed him.

Blubs said, "Another hydrant destroyed. It's a gosh dang mystery."

"Wanna take off our uniforms and run around in circles?" _Just no, no._

He quickly took his shirt off and said, "Quit reading my mind." _MY 'EYES'!_

They both s tart running around with their shirts off and screaming in delight. Dipper backs up and bumps into a woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for the mailman." _There is a mailbox not far from here._

"Oh what? Are you saying I'm not a "male man?" Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not a man? Is that-is that what you're getting at?" Dipper said agitatedly with tears pricking at his eyes. _"Calm down, it's alright."_

"Are you crying?" Dipper ran into the forest.

* * *

><p>"<em>Dipper, you're taking that machine to seriously, it's rigged to Dan. You're perfect the way you are."<em>

"That's not the point, 3. It's just that no one takes me seriously, not even Mabel, and we've been together before we were born!"

"_I will admit that was a scummy thing to do to you, but it doesn't matter! I say it is pretty manly to follow a half-finished book into finding mythical creatures no one will ever see in their life. By the way, the woman was just looking for the post man."_

3 was ignored as Dipper began bench pressing a branch. "2...3...4..." He looked down his shirt and sighed. "No chest hair yet. Is it physical; is it mental, what's the secret?"

"_I think it's puberty"_

He held up a bag of jerky that says "You're inadequate!" "You said it brother. I need help."

The ground begins to shake very hard and a large roar is heard. Various animals begin flying or running in the opposite direction of the noise, suddenly Manly Dan comes running out looking freaked out. He saw Dipper and yelled, "For the love of all that's holy, run!" and he ran off.

"_Dipper, I think we should run! If something scare Dan, then it must be bad!"_

A tree begins to fall on the stump that has Dipper's hat, and Dipper runs and grabs it before the tree squashes it. Another roar is heard and the shadow of a creature is seen getting closer to Dipper, he screamed as he saw a Minotaur that looks jacked up.

It comes out of the forest and lets out another loud roar. It takes a deer and scratches itself, and throws it away afterward. The deer soon runs off. It looks over in Dipper's direction and knocks away the log he is hiding behind.

"_Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!"_ 3 screamed forgetting to curse to itself.

"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week! And, I'm all elbows! Elbows and gristle!"

"YOU!" It screamed at Dipper and 3 as they screamed in terror.

"Gonna finish that?"

"What?"

Dipper looks at the jerky and tossed it to the Minotaur who begins to messily eat. "I can't believe it, part animal, and part human. Are you some kind of Minotaur?"

"_That's on steroids?"_ 3 asked and was shushed by Dipper.

"I'm a manotaur! Half man! Half...uh...half taur!"

"_So Minotaur on testosterone?"_

"Who keeps talking in a wimp voice?" It yelled looking for 3.

"_Nobody…wait, wrong story."_

Dipper quickly cut in before 3 agitated it till it killed them.

"So did I, like, summon you or-?"

"The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!" He punches a tree down and smashes a rock against his head."

"_No wonder you're so muscle bound, you have no more brain cells."_

"YEAH! Ha ha! Heh. I smell... emotional issues!

"I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems."

"_I don't think this tool will help Dipper, it's not healthy to set unrealistic goals."_

"Let's just try it out."

"_If you think so."_

"Well, my own uncle called me a wimp..."

"_Grunkle." _

"And I kind of flunked this manliness video game thing..."

"_It was rigged." _

"Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?"

"Very well. Climb atop my back hair, child!"

"Uh... okay."

"_When had he last washed it? When he was born?"_

"Where does tiny voice come from?"

"Nothing! Nothing." Dipper said covering for 3.

The Manotaur crashed through the forest with Dipper and 3 clutching his back hair.

"_I think I'm gonna be sick! Watch out for the trees!"_

"Dude, watch out!" Dipper yelled as he was hit with a birds nest.

"_Those poor birds." _

The Manotaur crashes through the side of a mountain and into a cave filled with Manotaurs.

"This place is amazing!" Dipper exclaimed looking around.

"_Really, it smells like sweat and unwashed bodies."_ 3 said unimpressed.

"You can smell?" Dipper whispered to 3 who made an affirmative sound.

"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water, 'Cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE!"

"_He's right about the gnomes, they're weak enough they can only gang up on a girl and get beaten up for their time."_ 3 agreed which caused Dipper to stifle a chuckled as the Manotaur rung a gong. "BEASTS! I have brought you, a hairless child!"

"...S'up."

"This is, uh, Pubetor, Testosteror, Pituitor, and I'm Chutzpar. And you are?"

"_I take back the no brain cells thing; they at least know hormone glands."_

"Where's that little voice coming from!?"

"My name's Dipper..." He quickly added as the Manotaurs booed his name. "The...uh, Destructor?"

"Yeah. Yeah that's better." 3 took physical effort not to say, _I'm 3 and I'll break all your necks with no hands._

"Dipper the Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness."

"I need your help!" He called pulling down his shirt.

"I must confer with the High Council." The Manotaurs turn around and huddle to mutter something to each other, and then it dissolved into a brawl.

"_Sit back Dipper, this will take a while."_ 3 said as Chutzpar had Pubetor in a headlock.

* * *

><p>Finally, the Manotaur's calmed down to hand down their decision.<p>

"After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."

Dipper and 3 smirked at each other; they had calculated that this might happened.

"Denied? Ok, fine. That's ok with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try". Dipper said in faux anger.

The Manotaurs growled.

"Not MAN enough!?" They stomped forward.

"He didn't mean it." Chutzpar said, trying to defend Dipper.

"I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!"

"_TMI!"_

"WHERE IS THAT VOICE COMING FROM!?"

"Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like…Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird-Bocock, bocAW! Is that?-BACAWK! That sounds like-BACAW! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!" Dipper sealed the deal.

The Manotaurs gasped, and huddled together again and said, "After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!"

"_Reverse psychology, works every time."_ 3 whispered as Dipper smirked

"Great! Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down."

"_Just don't bite off more than you can chew." _

"Being a man is about conquering your fears." The Manotaur said as it lead Dipper and 3 to something called a Pain Hole.

"For your first man test, you must plunge your fist-INTO THE PAIN HOLE!" The Manotaurs wince in pain.

"The what-?"

One Manotaur walked up to it and put his fist in the hole, "Pain hole, schmainhole-WAHHH! AHHH! AHH! He began to wince and sweat and then ran off clutching his hand.

"_Dipper, I don't think this a good idea,"_ 3 whispered frantically to Dipper.

"But we can't back down now." Dipper said as he leaned down and but his hand down the hole. The next minute, his scream caused the Manotaurs too instinctually back up and birds fly away.

* * *

><p>The next hours involve Dipper pulling a party wagon filled with Manotaurs, gluing Chutzpar's own chest hair to his, walk on crocodiles, looking at motivational posters, drinking from fire hydrants <em>("so that's who did it!")<em> and jumping off and over cliffs.

Finally, it was time to relax in the hot springs, as Dipper was about to undress he realized something.

"Hey, 3."

"_Yes Dipper?"_

"You said if you stretched it, you can 'see' from the porch, right."

"_Yess…"_ 3 answered, no seeing where he was getting at.

"Have you ever…'looked' when we bathed?"

"_No!"_ 3 yelped,_ "I'm not a Peeping Tom!"_

"Then I guess you don't mind if I do this." He covered 3 with his clothes and walked away as 3 grumbled to itself. _I'm not a Peeping Tom,_ 3 muttered; _I guess I just won't tell him I can still see him from here._

Dipper was saying to the Manotaur's, "Guys, I just wanna say that these last few hours have been...I-I feel like there's really been some growth."

"I have a growth!"

"Clark, you are hilarious today! It's just you guys took me under your wing, and I've just been so supportive." _That's sweet, in a manly way._

"Oh, stop." Chutzpar said embarrassed.

"No, you know what? You really have been. I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here."

"Not yet, Destructor. One final task remains. The deadliest trial of all." _That doesn't sound good._

"I've survived forty-nine other trials. Whatever it is…bring it on!" _Just barely._

The Manotaurs cheered.

Later that night, the Manotaur's prepped Dipper up to meet the leader of the Manotaurs.

"Behold our leader, Leaderaur!"

An old, hunched back Manotaur came out humming to himself.

"_I expected another muscle bound meathead."_ 3 said from its place in Dipper's pouch.

"Yeah," He said quietly, out loud he asked, "Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or...?"

"Greetings, young-" He was cut off screaming when a giant mouth comes from above and eats the old Manotaur. _The # %&!_

"Naw, he's just the offering. That is Leaderaur." He told a shocked Dipper as he pointed upwards to a gigantic, black Minotaur as it swallowed the old man that 3 and Dipper just noticed.

"You - You wish to be a man?" He rumbled. Dipper banged on his chest as did the other Manotaur's.

"Then you must heroic act, go to highest mountain," He reached into his chest and pulls out a spear, "and bring back head of...the Multi-Bear!" He rumbled as the other Manotaur's gasped.

"The Multi-Bear? Is that some sort of bear..?"

"_I've never heard of it." _

"He's our sworn enemy! Conquer him and your man formation will me complete."

"Conquer? I don't know, man."

Chutzpar looks through Dipper's backpack and pulls out the BABBA case and asked, "Destructor is this yours?"

He snatched it, "Oh no! Ha ha, I don't know who's that is, just borrowing it, friends, not mine."

"Mmm, I don't know about this..." One Manotaur said.

Dipper walked over to the spear and held it over his head. "I shall conquer the Multi-Bear!"

The Manotaurs cheered as Leaderaur spouts fire from his nose. A fire spark falls on Dipper.

He puts out the fire, "I'm okay!"

* * *

><p>Dipper was running through the woods and 3 finally spoke up.<p>

"_Are you sure about this? I mean you're gonna fight the meataur's sworn enemy, something even that cannibalistic Minotaur couldn't beat."_

"I have no other choice 3; it's the only way for people other than you to take me seriously."

"_If you're sure, but please, just be careful, no amount of recognition is worth getting killed over."_

Dipper smiled then concentrated on climbing up the mountain. Dipper soon arrives to Multi-bear's cave.

"I'm coming for you, multi-bear." He whispered as he entered the cave. Inside the dark cave he stops to pick up a bone and asked, "What is a Multi-bear?"

"_I don't know, I don't think Father knew either as there's no entry about it."_ Suddenly a lump behind them stirred and a bear made out of bear's roared, shaking the cave.

"Oh, that's a Multi-bear."

The main bear head spoke, "Bear heads, silence!" he spoke clearly as he swatted a still roaring one, " Child, why have you come here?"

"Multi-bear! I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway? There's like-what? Six heads?"

"_I counted 7."_ 3 said.

"Who said that? Never mind, child, this is foolish! Leave now! Or die!"

Dipper pointed his spear against multi-bear and it said, "So be it!"

The heads starts to roar. The multi-bear run to Dipper but Dipper avoids it by wall-running. Then multi-bear attacks Dipper by smacking a pile of bones towards Dipper, but he hides behind a rock, dodging it. Then Dipper hops on one of multi-bear's head and runs to the top, choking the main head. Multi-bear then fell to the ground.

"_That was surprisingly easy."_

"A real man shows no mercy!" He said raising his spear.

The Multi-bear just sighed, "Very well, warrior. But will you grant a magical beast one last request?"

"Uh…Okay."

"I wish to die listening to my favorite song." He said pointing to a tape player.

"_How did he get that? Maybe some hapless camper left it near here?" _

"The tape is already in there. You can just hit any...Yeah, yeah, that's it."

He hit play and BABBA's "Disco Girl" begins playing

"You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA? I-I love BABBA!"

"I thought I was the only one. All the Manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song "Disco Girl.""

"_That's why they want to kill you?" _

"Oh, you mean Disco girl~"

"Coming through~"

"That girl is you! O-oh o-oh~"

Dipper laughed pleased, "This is crazy! Finally someone who-who understands- uh...Oh yeah. I guess I'm supposed to kill you? Or I'll never be a man?"

"I accept my fate."

"No! Really?"

"It's for the best."

Dipper raises his spear, hesitated, and then threw his spear it to the side, "I can't, I can't kill another BABBA fan."

Multi-bear smiled and said, "Thank you, for sparing my life." He then frowned, "Are you sure? You'll be giving up you man's formation for me."

"I realized it's not worth taking a life."

"_You'd only be a man, if you stand up for what you believe in." _3 assured Dipper.

"Seriously, where is that voice coming from?" Multi-bear asked, looking around. Dipper glanced towards 3 who said, _"Go ahead."_

"Multi-bear, I'd like to meet 3. 3 meet Multi-bear."

"_How do you do?" _

Multi-bear snorted in surprise and smiled, "How do you do, little journal."

* * *

><p>Dipper soon returns to the mancave and threw the spear at the Manotaur's feet.<p>

"I'm not gonna do it." Dipper announced.

"You were told! The price of a man is the Multi-bear's head!" Leaderaur, shouted down at Dipper.

"Listen, Leaderaur, alright? You too, Testosteror, Pubetor, and… I don't know whatever your name is. B-Beardy."

"It's Beardy."

"You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being argh all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey."

"_You said it." _

"You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don't have muscles or hair in certain places, and…sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! 'Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!

"Destructor…What are you saying?"

"I'm saying the Multi-bear is a really nice guy. And you're bunch of jerks if you want me to cut off his head!"

Leaderaur stands up and destroys the spear.

"Kill the Multi-bear or never be a man!" Leaderaur shouted.

"Then I guess I'll never be a man."

"Boooo! Weak!" The Manotaurs shouted as the Manotaurs agreed.

"Hey guys! Who wants to go build something and knock it down?" Chutzpar shouted as all the Manotaurs cheered and left chanting, "Man."

Dipper kicks a rock away and heads home.

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm proud of you Dipper." <em>

"Yeah, but all that work for nothing, I guess I am a wimp and a middle aged woman."

"_Who cares? Sometimes it's the smallest animal's is the most dangerous. Besides, what's wrong with being a middle aged woman? If you mess with their kids, they'll rip you a new one."_ 3 joked, getting a laugh out of Dipper. Dipper was walking past the diner when he heard banging on the glass. He turned around and saw Mabel banging on the glass.

"_They're still here?"_

"DIPPER! It's me, Mabel! I'm looking at you through this glass! Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from inside!"

Dipper gave her calm down gesture then nodded and went inside.

"Did you see me through the-?" Mabel began but was cut off by Dipper saying a mopey "yes."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Good." Stan said as he ate some pie.

Dipper ignored him and continued, "It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me..."

"Here we go.'

"But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but it just wasn't right. So I said no."

"You were your own man and you stood up for yourself."

"Huh?"

"Well, you did what was right even when no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me but, what do I know?"

"Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me? You have a chest hair!" Mabel said pointing at Dipper's chest.

Dipper checks his chest and gasp, "You're right! I do! Ha ha, this is amazing! I really do! Take that, man tester! Take that, Pubetor!"

"Pubetor?"

"This guy has chest hair!"

Mabel suddenly pulls it out and puts it in a journal, "Scrap-book orotundity!" _That…was cruel Mabel. _

"Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me, there's more where that came from." Stan said as he rips open his shirt.

"Oh, gross!" Dipper and 3 cried in disgust as everyone laughed.

"Seriously, that's disgusting."

They then walked back to the Mystery Shack and Dipper said to 3, "Thank you for believing in me when no one else would."

"_No problem Dipper, I am a little mad at Mabel for pulling out that chest hair after all the shit you had to go through to get it."_

"Ehh…it'll grow back. Anyway, want to go for a monster hunt after a nap?"

"_You know it!"_

As they pasted by Stan, the answering machine was meowing as Stan looked at it in horror.

_That's weird,_ 3 thought.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Done! Now only 2 people know about 3. I am making a poll to decide to make 3 a boy, a girl, or remain gender neutral. Please vote and review.**


	8. Chapter 7

Journal chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own

Word-normal

_Word_-3 thinking

"_Word"_-3 talking to Dipper

Warning for 3's temper and language. Slight canon divergences.

**A/N: So far, girl is in the lead, the poll is on my profile page.**

* * *

><p>Double Dipper<p>

It was another day at the Mystery Shack with everyone preparing for a party that night. 3 was watching Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy play with silly string and 3 couldn't help but to feel jealous of the girls. Not because they can interact with Dipper, no because they can do…stuff and everything.

Stan finally got fed up and took away the silly string. "Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits."

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?"

"Nobody's. I thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack."

"_That's a good idea, when you're not getting chased by monsters, you literally dying of boredom in this town."_ 3 whispered to Dipper which caused him to chuckle, drawing strange looks from the girls.

"Nice!"

"The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother them with fun!"

"Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack."

"_Agreed." _

"Hey, hey! How's about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?"

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" Mabel cheered.

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store".

"_That's actually pretty good."_ 3 commented as Dipper nodded.

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!"

* * *

><p>Dipper, 3 and Mabel are in Stan's office. They pull the sheet off the old, busted up copier machine. Several moths fly around it.<p>

"_If this is fixed up, then I don't want to see how it looked before."_ 3 stated as Dipper nodded.

Mabel gasped and said, "Butterflies!"

"Does it even work?" He pressed a button, and then rests his arm on the machine. It turns on, and creates a copy of his arm.

"Success!"

_I'm genuinely impressed_.

They then noticed the paper shaking, and Mabel dropped it, "Whoa!"

The picture of Dipper's arm suddenly comes to life and started crawling towards them as 3, Dipper and Mabel screamed in terror.

"Stay back!" Dipper shout as he splashed the soda at the arm, disintegrating it, "Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!"

"Do you realize what this means?" Mabel says seriously for a second then ruins it by spraying silly sting on him.

* * *

><p>Later, Stan was giving; Wendy, Soos, the twins, and 3 a pep talk<p>

"Alright party people...and Dipper. Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm letting you be DJ."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!" He held up a book.

"Not encouraging. Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand."

"What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!" Mabel whined.

Dipper seeing his chance volunteered, "I...I could work with Wendy."

"You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy, no getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night." That's the idea.

"I promise."

* * *

><p>That night, the twins prepared for the party, with 3 watching. Mabel suddenly comes behind Dipper and began teasing him<p>

"Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss!" Why does she always use 'uh, uh' at the beginning?

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect."

"Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated list things, are you?"

"Over complicated? Let me just…" _I hate to agree with her, but that list is huge._ "Alright, fold that there, kay. Step 1: Getting to know each with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads." _No need to bag on his habits, Mabel._

"Yeah, see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance."

"If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!" _That's 11 steps!?_

"Dipper, you're the one getting in your way. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?"

"Step 9, sister!" She then sighed and left, he turned to 3 and asked, "This isn't crazy right?"

"_No, it's just a habit you have."_ 3 said consoling; a little annoyed he went through all the trouble just to ask Wendy to dance.

* * *

><p>That night, Wendy, Dipper, and 3 were working at the ticket station. Dipper then decided to implement his list while 3 sighed, exasperated.<p>

Dipper whispered to himself, "Step 1: Casual banter. SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION! What's your favorite type of snack food?"

"_That's so casual…"_ 3 muttered

"Did you here that?" Wendy and a few customers looked around, confused.

"Uhh…no?" Dipper said pushing 3 deeper into his vest pocket. "Your favorite food?"

Forgetting about 3, she exclaimed, "Oh man! I can't just pick one!"

"NO way! Mine too!"

"Wait, what?"

"Uhh...I mean...I mean..." He stuffs a bunch of popcorn in his mouth and looks for another topic. Wendy meanwhile looked at the party and says, "Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts."

"_There's nothing else to do here, anyway."_ 3 murmured as Wendy looked around.

"I gotta get in there!" Wendy said excited, she turned to Dipper, "Cover for me?" _Back to your lazy ways again, slacker,_ 3 thought.

"Umm...well I, um-" She took that as a yes and went inside abandoning Dipper to the horde of people waiting to get tickets. He was about to run after Wendy put Stan stopped him, he was told he was on stand duty and left.

"If only I could be two places at once." He muttered overwhelmed. Then 3 remembered, "Dipper!" 3 whispered, "The copier!"

"What? Oh, great idea!" Dipper ran into Stan's office and stood in front of the copier and muttered, "I wonder if this is a good idea?"

"_Well there'd only be 2 of you. It could be a lot worse, like 2 Mabel's."_

**In 3's mindscape**

The world looked normal until it exploded in an atomic explosion of pink and purple glitter and sprinkles as thousands of Mabel's started laughing as they fell to the earth.

**Real world**

"_Dipper, do me a favor and never let Mabel near this thing!"_ 3 shouted at the surprised Dipper.

Dipper then copied himself, the paper with the copy of him falls to the ground it ripples, and the Dipper clone comes to life.

"Whoa! ...I have a really big head."

"So, uh...sorry, you first. Stop copying me!" Dipper and the clone said at the same time and laughed.

The clone tries to slap his leg but hits his arm on the copy machine, "Ow, ow! Funny bone!"

Dipper notices the clone's hat was blank and wrote a 2 on it, "Number 2"

"Definitely not. You know a name I've always wanted?" The clone refused and asked the real clone

"Tyrone?" They said at the same time.

"_I'm partial to Dipper."_ 3 commented, tired of being quiet.

"Who said that?" Tyrone asked looking around.

"Oh, that 3." He said, pulling 3 out to show Tyrone, "You do have that right?"

Tyrone checked his pockets and took out an off-colored 3 that stayed silent, even when 3 reached out to it.

"_Guess it only works on bodies not consciousness."_ 3 said, disappointed.

"Okay, Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance."

"I know the plan, buddy." Tyrone said as he pulled out his own list. Dipper backed away slightly and asked.

"Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?"

"_Damn should've thought of that."_

"Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey! You can always just disintegrate with me with water."

"_That was a surprisingly candid way of putting off your own existence."_

* * *

><p>Tyrone mans the ticket station while Dipper is inside. They give each other the thumbs up. Dipper then walks over to Wendy.<p>

"Great news, Wendy! I got someone to cover the concessions for me!"

"That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie. Robbie you remember Dipper from the convenience store?" Wendy greeted Dipper and reintroduce Robbie, the Rebel who appeared out of nowhere with his bike in the place.

"Uh, no. Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar." He said smugly as he played the guitar.

"_I remember how you disappeared when things got bad and came back when it was over. Also how did you get that bike in her with no one noticing?" _3 said, it's voiced drowned out by the crowd and music.

"Woah, cool!" Wendy said as Dipper's mood plummeted.

Tyrone suddenly calls Dipper on his cell and said, "Hey buddy it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy."

"_This will get confusing." _

"We got to get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy!"

"Hey, Dipper! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done." Wendy said as she turned away from Dipper to go with Robbie.

"Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick!" He sees Robbie's bike and said, "I got an idea!"

"I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help." Tyrone agreed.

* * *

><p>Dipper goes back to the office and made a third clone that will pull off Dipper's plan.<p>

"But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!" Number 3 complained, a little frighten.

"_I was right, this will get confusing."_ 3 said, 'glaring' at Number 3.

"Yeah, makes a good point." Tyrone agreed.

"Okay, one more. Good point. Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan."

"Better than 4 Mabel's"

He tried to make another copy but the machine jams.

"Uh-oh, paper jam." Tyrone pulled the paper out of the machine and screams as it comes to life. The clone starts screaming gibberish as Number 3 complained.

"C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?"

"SSSHH! Don't be rude." Tyrone scolded Number 3 as he talked to Paper Jam Dipper, "Hey, buddy hey. It's okay."

"Okay. Just one more clone."

* * *

><p>Dipper later joined Wendy as Soos got Robbie's attention to see the clones get away with his bike. He turned to Wendy and said, "Oh, tough break. I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here."<p>

Soos then chose that moment to go into a slow dance as Wendy exclaimed, "Oh snap, I love this song."

Mabel then runs over to Dipper and said, "Hey goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen-" Dipper covers Mabel's mouth and they move away from Wendy, "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!"

"Ok, ok. I-uh, uh, I'll be right back!"

Tyrone and Dipper are pacing around each other in the attic and Tyrone says, "Oh, I agree. You can't just go and DANCE with her."

"The dance floor is a minefield, a MINEFIELD, Tyrone!"

"What if there's a glitch in the sound system?"

"Stan might get in the way."

"Robbie might come back."

"There are too many variables. We need help."

"_Dipper, Tyrone calm down, you're over thinking this, maybe if you dance, nothing would go wrong."_ 3 told them, but was ignored.

Dipper then makes 6 more clones of himself.

"Alright, Dippers! Gather round! Now's the time! You all clear on want to do?"

* * *

><p>The clones nod and leave the attic. Number 10 walks up the Soos and said. "Hey, Soos, look! A glowing dot!"<p>

"Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head. That dot does not disappoint."

While Soos is distracted, number 10 puts in a disc labeled "Wendy Mix". The rest of the clones do their jobs as well. Number 8, who is sitting above the party, puts a dollar on a fishing rod and dangles it in front of Stan.

Stan said, "Right, like I'm gonna fall for that." He pretended not to notice, then tries to grab the money, "GIVE ME THAT...MONEY, MONEY"

While Stan is distracted, Number 6 rings a bell.

Tyrone turns to Dipper, "There's your cue. It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me!"

"I don't need luck. I have a plan." He Leaves attic and sees Wendy in the hallway.

"Oh hey, man. What's up?

"W-What are you doing here? I mean, wouldn't you rather be out on the dance floor uh, in like exactly 42 seconds?"

"I'm just waiting for the bathroom."

"Um, uh, okay. Small talk, small talk, small talk!" He said, pulling out the list and muttered.

"So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?" Wendy asked randomly.

"I, uh..."

"I think I'd go with this lunatic." She pointed at a sweaty man dancing.

"Ha, ha, ha I'd probably go for Stretch over there, uh, because tall people can reach coconuts?

"Speaking of tall, wanna see something?" She pulls out a picture with her thumb over one of the people, "Those are my brothers, and I'm," She lifted her thumb to reveal her with braces, high waist pants and her hair in pigtails.

"Ha, you were a freak!" He said then covered his mouth.

"Yep."

"You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time." _Birthmark?_

"Birthmark?"

"Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I was-. Why did I say that?"

"No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!" Wendy begged. He reluctantly lifted his hair up to reveal that on his forehead was the Big Dipper. _Wow._

"The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks. Wait here?" She said and went to the bathroom.

"Of course." Suddenly the other clones come up behind him.

"Hey! What are you doing up here? Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!"

"You won't believe it guys! I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!" Dipper said happily.

"That's nice. But not the plan. Do we have to remind you?"

"Oh man, you guys sound crazy. Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person."

"_I think we just entered the clone rebellion."_ 3 said nervously as it caught the dark looks from the clone's faces.

"You bite your tongue!" One said and another continued, "If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy."

"Yes/If you think about it.../Five/Number Five's got a point."

"Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other." Dipper said, backing away.

"I think we all knew we were lying."

"_Dipper, RUN!"_ 3 cried too late as the clones grabbed Dipper and threw him in the closet.

"No, wait!" Dipper yelled as the clones closed the door.

"Ahh, I can't breathe in here!"

Tyrone countered with, "Yes you can! Plus there are snacks and a coloring book in there for you!"

Dipper sighed and eats a cracker angrily.

* * *

><p>The clones left arguing amongst themselves.<p>

"_I'm sorry Dipper, if I hadn't said anything, this wouldn't have happened,"_ 3 said shamefully.

"No it's not your fault, 3. It's mine, if I wasn't so concentrated on the plan this wouldn't have happened." He banged his head on the door, which opened. Dipper and 3 stared in shock and 3 commented, "They forgot to lock it." They snuck out while Tyrone was trying to feed the paper jam clone cheese and crackers and they ran to the balcony.

"WEND-." He was pulled back by the clones and dragged back.

"C'mon, man. Give it up. You're overpowered." Tyrone said smugly.

"Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity." Dipper said reasonably as the clones agree, Dipper punches Tyrone. The clones stare at them and have an awkward pause then they shouted, "CLONE FIGHT!" And it became a Dipper brawl. As they turned on each other, Dipper and 3 crawled away until they notice him.

"No friends, it's me, Number 7."

The clones stare at the real Number 7 who said, "That's not me guys, that's not me!"

The fake #7 mark on Dipper's hat peels off.

"Get him!"

The clones march toward Dipper cornering him & Dipper backs away from them as he called, "Stay back, stay back!"

3 then remembered something, _"Dipper! The sprinkler!"_ Dipper, realizing what it meant threw a party popper, which turns on the sprinkler, causing the clones to melt.

"Boo! C'mon, lame! This stinks! Boo!" They said.

"Huh, how about that." He notices Tyrone standing behind him.

"You!" He shouted and tackled Dipper.

"Uh-oh."

"Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!"

"Never!"

They suddenly hear Wendy laughing and stop fighting, "Wendy?"

"Robbie! Shut up!" She said laughing as they talked.

Dipper and Tyrone sighed and sat down, "We blew it man."

"I don't know, you wanna go grab a couple sodas or something?" Tyrone asked as Dipper nodded and they went up to the roof.

* * *

><p>"Some night, huh?" Tyrone asked looking at the stars.<p>

"_You said it."_ 3 said, feeling bad that Dipper didn't get to dance with Wendy.

There is a shooting star on the sky. Dipper and Tyrone open the cans.

"You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean she's 15, we're 12."

"_There isn't much of an age difference when you think about it."_ 3 pointed out which got smiles out of Dipper and Tyrone.

"I don't know man, I hope so, but we're making zero progress the way we're doing it. The only good conversation you had with her is when you didn't do anything in that list-stuff."

"_Maybe that's the point."_

"I know. Mabel was right; I do get in my own way."

"Literally!" The original and clone laughed.

They toasted each other and started to drink.

"_Wait! Tyrone don't!"_

"Oh-boy, don't look now."

"Tyrone!" Dipper yelped as the clone melted.

"It's okay dude, I had a good run. Remember what we talked about." He said sadly.

"Uh-uh, of course."

"Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake…" Tyrone melted away completely.

"Tyrone! You were the only one who understood." He pours soda on Tyrone and drinks what's left.

"_You know, that's the second entity that's melted on your roof."_ 3 saw Dipper's look and said, _"Too soon?"_

They walked back downstairs where Mabel accosted Dipper and 3 and dragged them over to meet Candy and Grenda.

As they were dragged over, 3 couldn't help but think, even though Dipper didn't get his dance, 3 was glad Dipper didn't get his dance with Wendy.


	9. Chapter 8

Journal 8

Disclaimer: I do not own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

_"Talk"-_3 talking to Dipper

* * *

><p>Irrational Treasure<p>

Stan was driving to town with Dipper, Mabel, and 3 in the back to get some supplies. While in the back seat Mabel was hanging nachos in her ears and laughed, "Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!"

Stan muttered, "That's debatable. Aw come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is all...covered wagons? Oh no! No! No!" He said wildly and pushed his foot on the gas pedal as 3, Dipper and Mabel were thrown around.

"Not today! Not today!" He nearly runs over a few woman and backs up suddenly, Dipper called out, "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?"

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" He yelled, heading for the exit but was forced when wagons started to circle them, "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!"

"_How did they get around us so quickly?"_ 3 asked Dipper, quietly so not to alert the family, he just shrugged and made an 'I don't know' sound.

Mabel looks outside her window and sees a cow and said, "I've gotta good feeling about today."

* * *

><p>The twins, 3, and Stan get out of the car and walk around the town.<p>

"Man. Look at the town." Dipper said looking at a postcard as 2 guys holding dirty glass pass by. Stan grouchy tells the kids about what's happening, "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."

"_How quaint." _

Toby Determined passed by, greeting the Pines, "Welcome to 1863!"

"I will break you, little man!" Stan growled, flexing his fist at the little man and caused him to run away and crashed into a barrel.

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" Mabel called pointing.

"Woah, gold panning!" Dipper said.

"_Is that priest marrying a guy to a woodpecker?"_ 3 asked bemused as Mabel and Stan looked around.

"What you talking about?" Mabel asked, forgetting about the disembodied voice, checking it up to a random passerby.

"Oh yeah. I remember this." He took out 3 and flipped to a page that 3 picked out, "In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers."

The recently married man was passing them by and said strongly, "Oh, it's still legal. Very legal." He then walked away_, that was weird. _

An announcer's voice rang out, "Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!"

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?" Mabel asked excitedly.

"No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."

Dipper smiled impishly at Mabel and said in an old timely accent, "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"

"Well hornswabber my haversack!" The twins spit and ran off, laughing and Stan called angrily.

"Dead to me!"

* * *

><p>A crowd assembles around a large stage, with a couple and a platinum blonde girl sitting behind the two idiot cops.<p>

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." Blubs announced into the microphone.

"Woo! I got a bell!" The deputy cried ringing said bell. Just then a robber stole an old lady's purse and ran off with it. The cops firmed 3's opinion of them as they ignored the lady.

"Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!"

"Hehe. He sure loves his bell."

The blonde walks up to the stage and tapped the microphone obnoxiously and announced in a clear, higher society voice, "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich."

"_You forgot modest and shy, blondie."_ 3 mocked towards Dipper as the crowd applauds.

"Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself." Pacifica announced.

Mabel gasped and said, "Audience participation!"

"I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kind of like your arch-enemy?"

"That's water under the bridge." Mabel said with a wave of her hand and ran up stage.

"I don't know, you should never mess with society blondes, they can be nasty to those who they deem beneath them." 3 told Dipper who nodded.

"Our first newcomer is..." Pacifica looks over and glares angrily when she saw who it was. "Mabel..."

"Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!"

"USA! USA!" The crowd chanted back, one even burst into tears 3 noted.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." Pacifica scoffed looking at Mabel's sweater and nacho earrings, "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"

"Hey, I can be serious!" Mabel said defensively.

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hun." Pacifica said with a raised eyebrow. Mabel touches her earrings and blushes. "Ha-ha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you. Give her a hand everybody!" She said sarcastically as the crowd laughed and Dipper winced in sympathy.

"_That…that was brutal."_ 3 said sadly.

Mabel sadly walks off the stage as Pacifica raked in more attention and Dipper rushed over to console Mabel.

"Hey, you okay?" He gently asked his twin while 3 look on.

"I need some old timey butterscotch." Mabel said as she walked away to a vendor.

"Wow, I haven't seen Mabel so depressed since Gideon, I wish there was something we could do to help her, 3."

"_Yeah…"_ 3 said as it trailed off. If only there was something to cheer her up. Northwest does sound familiar. It remembers Father doing some research on them if only…wait a moment!

"_Dipper! I remember that Father was digging something up on the Northwest family before he vanished. Something about a conspiracy!"_ 3 sudden told Dipper, he quickly found the page and smiled, "This is just the thing, 3." He ran off to find Mabel.

* * *

><p>The twins sit near a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. Mabel was depressingly chewing on some butterscotch and sighed, she asked Dipper, "Dipper, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm silly?"<p>

"Uh, noooo?"

Mabel groaned, "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke." She takes off her nacho earrings and her sweater, tying the sweater around her waist. _Oh, dear… _

"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!"

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!"

"_Dipper, the plan."_ 3 whispered.

"Pacifica! Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage? Someone needs to take her down a peg. Wait a minute! I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great grandfather before." He opens Journal 3 and flips to a certain page. "Of course! Oh, this is perfect." He started in a deep voice, "In my investigations... Should- should I do the voice?"

She shakes her head no.

"I'll just read...normal. In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is embodied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code." He opens the document, revealing a complex series of letters, symbols and words. "Oh, man! If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!" Dipper announced to Mabel who perked up.

"Really?"

"I got to investigate this!" He said to no one particular, knowing that Mabel would want to help.

"Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely."

"Well, if I help you crack this code, and then nobody could call me silly again!"

"Yeah! Mystery Twins?" _Mystery twins?_

"I thought you hated that."

"I'm starting to accept it." Knowing it will cheer Mabel up; the two bump fists and ran off. However, 3 noticed two shadows from behind the statue, but thought it was a trick of the light.

* * *

><p>The twins and 3 entered the Gravity Falls Library, they pasted by Old Man McGucket who was telling stories to the children, "Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories around the fire. So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" He starts chewing on one. Dipper was passing by and 3 shivered in fear.<p>

"_Keep me away from the crazy old man." _

"Alright, Mabel, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place." He said as he set the books on the table.

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious. Serious..."

"We just need to crack this code. Let me see...it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"

"_I don't think so."_

"It's so obvious!

"Alright, let's just light this sucker up and, Mabel!" He cut himself off, when she snatched it when he wasn't looking and had folded it into a paper hat.

"I just made a hat. Ugh, I just did something silly again."

"Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map! And I was gonna burn it..."

"_Not one of your smartest moments."_

They suddenly heard Blubs and Durland speaking to the librarian, "We're on the lookout for two kids who might be reading."

"We're hunting them down for secret reasons. WOO!" Durland said, ringing his bell obnoxiously.

Dipper, 3, and Mabel hide under the table as they passed by.

"Maybe we should take this elsewhere..." Dipper said.

"This map should lead us to...The Gravity Falls Museum of History." They walked to the museum and stood outside. Dipper turned to Mabel and said.

"You realize what this means, Mabel. We're gonna have to break. In."

"_This will be difficult."_

* * *

><p>"...and here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, blue and pink."<p>

"_Or maybe not."_

"We're in."

"What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's ribcage?" Mabel asked looking around. _First off that's disgusting. Second, he's not even buried here._

"Ewww, no. According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right...here!"

They looked over at a triangular exhibition piece is mounted on the wall.

"We've gotta figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books..." _I agree._

"I don't think the one with the bell can read..."

"So what is it anyway?"

The twins and 3 looked at the exhibit and Mabel sat down on the bench in frustration and sat upside down. "Hey painting, be less stupid. It worked!" She cried.

"Huh? Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down!" _Who would've known? _

"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery."

"Let's go! Quick!" They stand up, getting dizzy as the blood rushes out of their head. _Glad I don't have blood._

* * *

><p>The twins quickly leave and pushed past the cops and ran to the cemetery and quickly found the pointing angel statue.<p>

"Ah... The statue must be pointing to the next clue." He stood on another grave to look into the distance.

"_Where it could be?"_

Mabel suddenly yelled over, "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha! Ach."

"Mabel, look!" He said pointing at the secret passage that opened.

"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam! Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay."

"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel serious. Mmm." She said walking down and eating some butterscotch.

"Okay, look out for Booby traps."

"Ha! Booby traps." _Try to be serious for once._

She suddenly stepped on a pressure switch and darts suddenly started shooting at them, Dipper yelled, "Tranquilizer darts!"

"Aah!" They quickly ducked and started running and dodging darts until Dipper tripped and fell, pulling Mabel down with him. They tumbled down and crashed into a room filled with papers and artifacts.

"It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things." Mabel said looking around. "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman." Mabel said looking at some random pictures. They then saw a convenient file stating it was the Northwest Cover-up.

"Hey, jackpot! Now we'll find out who the real town founder was. "Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, "fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud..., as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot." Oh, bad news for Pacifica. Wait till the papers hear about this!" Dipper laughed.

"Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they could never call me silly!"

""The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire.""

"Who's Quentin Trembley?"

Blub's voice rang out from behind and said, "That's none of your business!"

"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo! Whoo hmm whoo-hoo" Durland suddenly pasted out to show his back was covered in darts.

"He got hit with quite a few of those darts."

"_Never mind that! Get him to a hospital you useless cop!"_ 3 yelled, forgetting to stay quiet.

Mabel and Blubs jumped and looked around. "Hehehe, it was the wind." Dipper said nervously.

* * *

><p>When Durland was awake again, Blubs continued, "But Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security."<p>

"Yeah! Ye-ah, Whoo. I think I might be colorblind now."

"What do you mean, 'national security'?" Dipper asked.

"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?"

"See for yourself." Blubs started a reel and the screen flickered to life.

"Aww, black and white?!" Mabel complained.

"Shh! Mabel."

A government official appeared on the screen and said, "If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete. -What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief! Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."

"President?"

"Eighth-and-a-half?" Mabel asked confused. How is that possible, 3 thought embarrassed from its out burst earlier.

The government official continued, "After winning the 1837 election in a landslide," It showed an actual landslide killing his competition and most of the crowd, "Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, and issued the de-pants-Imation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse." _Err…okay… _

It showed a line of text stating, 'reenactment recording'

"The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!" _That is true. If highly unlikely._

Government official returned, "He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as president and local nobody as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown." _Huh, so that's where the town got its name!_

"Until now." Blubs said, pointing at the body of Trembley encased in a yellow substance that they didn't notice. _Sigh…_

"Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something?" Dipper asked, touching the block.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete." _How did they catch up to us so fast anyway?_

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers?" Durland said, holding up one of Mabel's discarded butterscotch wrappers.

_This is why you shouldn't litter._

"Ugh, silly!"

"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talking about it." Blubs said ominously.

_He doesn't mean!?_

"Does that mean—?" Dipper asked terrified, hiding Mabel behind him.

"Are you going to kill us?!" Mabel finished.

"Oh, no!" Durland said horrified.

"No, no. Calm down now, buddy, calm down. We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You aren't coming' back, by the way." Blubs quickly grabbed the struggling twins as Durland picked up Trembley. They carried the kids up stairs and locked them up in a crate with Trembley. The next thing they know they're on a train heading towards Washington D.C.

* * *

><p>The twins were banging on the crate shouting, "Anyone there?! Help help help!"<p>

"Hey! Let us out!"

Mabel sighed and slid down next to the 8 and ½ president, "Ohh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. This is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name." She moodily broke off a piece of peanut brittle and ate it._ Don't eat that, you don't know where it's been_, 3 scolded silently.

Suddenly, the block started to shake and break apart as the twins held each other.

Trembley took a breathe and said in a voice that sounded like the reenactment, "It is I, Quentin Trembley." He then ripped of his pants.

"You're alive! But how?" Dipper asked amazed.

"Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!"

_I thought it was honey._

"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

"He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!" _And my Father!_ 3 added.

"Oh, stop it." Mabel blushed.

"By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box." Trembley said looking around.

"It's a crate, Mr. President."

"Good thing I have the president's key, which can open any lock in America." He said, pulling out a fancy key from his jacket. He then started to jab the walls with the key growing frustrated.

"I... don't think that's gonna work." While 3 'nodded.'

"Wood! My age-old enemy. In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

"I think I know who can help you." Dipper said looking at Mabel.

"Hmm. How about... that hole?" She said pointing at a finger sized hole near the bottom.

"We will leap through it!" _I don't think so, Mr. President._

"Almost. Almost there Good! Keep pushing." They started pushing their fingers through the hole.

"I'm not sure this is working." Dipper said, skeptically.

"Trust... the... silliness!"

Suddenly, they heard a woodpecker outside. "Fiddlesticks! Keep going! Is that my third wife Sandy?" Trembley asked. _So that's why marrying a woodpecker is legal. _

The crate suddenly fell apart as the woodpecker flew away. _Can't believe that worked._

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again."

"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper said, clutching the documents and running with Mabel following after them.

"Also good." They opened the door and came face-to-face with Durland who called for Blubs. They slammed the door and went up the escape route, other than the snag with Trembley jabbing the door with his key with Dipper grabbing it away. They were cornered on top of the train.

"There is no escape!" Blubs panted, and then said, "I gotta take a knee."

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" Durland asked.

"Edwin, darling, you are a diamond in the rough."

"_I think I threw up a little."_ 3 said in the high pitched wind whistling by.

"Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Dipper desperately asked.

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" Blubs called out.

"Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?" Dipper asked the President

"No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window." _Okay…_

"Then... technically you're still legally the president of the United States, right? You've gotta answer this guy now!" Dipper told the police, pointing to Trembley.

"Huh?"

"As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation. Ow! Yes." Trembley said after he was hit in the head with an iron thing hanging over the tracks.

"Vacation? What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two" Blubs asked Durland.

"Silly water fun slides in grand lakes, Michigan!" They said together. "Bye-bye! Bye!"

Trembley than turned to Mabel and said, "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U. S. congressman." He pulled out a congress hat and places it on her head.

"I'm legalizing everything!"

Trembley than turned to Dipper, "And Roderick,"

"-Uh, actually—"

"-you, dear boy, are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land, so I'd like you to have my president's key." He gave him his key.

"And to you book." _Wait what!?_ "I'll give you some advice. The biggest mysteries were near you all along, with one trip, you can change the course of what was, to what could have been." Trembley said with a wink towards 3. _Maybe he's not as crazy as he seems._

* * *

><p>The twins, Trembley, and an introspective 3 made their way back to town with Trembley telling them about stories about the other presidents.<p>

"And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. George Washington was a jerk."

"Agreed." Mable said with a smile. They found Pacifica standing next to a maypole. Mabel walked up to her and said, "Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"

Pacifica saw Trembley trying to fight with a bald eagle, "What? Who is that idiot?"

"Put up your Dukes, you bald fiend!"

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America. How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it—"

Pacifica interrupted it her by laughing, "Ha ha ha! Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way." Nearby her parents were also laughing mockingly.

"You two must feel so proud of yourselves picking on a girl." 3 said scathingly as those nearby looked around.

Pacifica shrugged it off and said, "Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home." She whistled for her fancy car and walked off still laughing.

Dipper turned to Mabel, "Aren't you gonna tell her about her ate-gray amp a-gray?"

"You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. I've learned to see silly as awesome!" Mabel said maturely. _I know I said to be mature, but not like this,_ 3 said disappointed.

Dipper frowned and ran after the car, "Well, I haven't learned anything! Hey, Pacifica!"

Dipper runs to the Northwest's' car. The car stops and Dipper hands Pacifica the documents through her window. "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!" Pacifica is aghast and called for her mother as they drove away.

"Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!"

"_I agree!"_ 3 whispered this time. Trembley walked up to them and said, Children, book, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here on the negative twelve dollar bill."

Dipper looked at it and said with a smile, "Whoa. This is worthless."

"It's less then worthless, my boy. Trembley away!" Trembley backflips onto a horse backwards and rides away.

"Where do you think he's going?" Mabel asked.

"I'm gonna say... off a cliff."

* * *

><p>Later the twins and 3 found Stan locked in the stock who was complaining to them.<p>

"And then Soos came by and talked to me for like an hour." He was saying.

"You've been through so much." Mabel said sympathetically as Dipper used the president's key to open them.

"It works!"

Stan looked at Mabel and asked, "So what's with the top hat?"

"I am a congressman."

"Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned." She said as she, Dipper, and 3 dissolved into laughter, much to Stan's befuddlement.

"Oy! You a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?"

"No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel away!" She tried to imitate Trembley but crashes.

"I'm O.K."

3 'smiled' at Mabel. Then 'frowned,' what did Trembley mean? Perhaps he is hiding his secrets under a 'silly' exterior. Seems you can't trust appearances here in Gravity Falls.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And done! Two chapters in one day. Well, after the next chapter, I'll start veering off canon once Waddles is here. So please bear with me.**


	10. Chapter 9

Journal 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls or Chrono Trigger

Talk-normal,

_Talk_-3

"_Talk_"-3 to Dipper

Warning's for 3's short temper, language, and slight canon divergences.

On polls, not counting reviews

Girl-4

Boy-1

It- 1

* * *

><p>Time Traveler's Pig<p>

"_I think we're gonna die!"_

Grunkle Stan had decided to create a fair to rake in some money from the bored people of Gravity Falls. However, his frugalness had reared its ugly head. Dipper and 3 had been 'volunteered' read forced to test out the sky tram. It started out okay until it started shaking and groaning.

The sky tram violently lurched and they plummeted to the ground with 3 and Dipper screaming. They landed next to Stan and Mabel.

"_When I can think straight, remind me to 'haunt' Stan later."_ 3 said in a small voice. They had recently decided to prank Stan by hiding 3 in hard to reach spots and making noise to scare Stan.

"I'll do that when my bones are healed." He turned to Stan and informed him that, "I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones."

"Ha ha, this guy. Alright, alright. I got a job for you two." Stan laughed and pulled out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the letter A+ on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit." He handed them to Dipper, who handed some to Mabel.

"_Let's burn them."_

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?" Mabel asked.

"When there are no cops around, anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?"

Soos is blowtorching the target onto the dunk tank and called out, "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."

"Stan bangs on the target, the seat in the dunk tank barely moves, he grinned and announced, "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon." _What are the chances of that happening?_

"Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing." Stan asked as he dug around in his toolbox.

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it."

"Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids. Alright, let's see where I put that thing."

* * *

><p>Later, 3 heard Stan announce the Dunk Tank was open and taunting people to try to dunk him. Dipper was with Wendy eating corndogs in the shape of a "?" and talking about how unnatural and delicious it was laughing.<p>

Mustard then dripped on her shirt and she left to clean up.

"I'll be right here! Ha-ha! I love you!" He whispered as she walked past him, Mabel then came up to them with 2 cotton candies.

"Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!" _They're just two friends hanging out,_ 3 said tersely, not pouting.

"Eh, it's no big deal." _See!_

"Yeah, it is!"

"Okay, you're right, it is! Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, "Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?" And you know what she said?" Dipper gushed to 3's aggravation. "'Yeah, I guess so!' It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!"

"When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything! Hey, do you smell a gallon of body spray?" She asked sniffing as a shadow fell on them

Robbie walked up to them and asked in an uncaring manner, "Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?"

"_I think she jumped down the bottomless pit to once she smelled you coming, you should probably catch up to her."_ 3 muttered.

"Who wants to know?"

Robbie takes a bite out of Mabel's cotton candy, who protested.

"Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans. Thought she might want to check them out."

"_Who would want to look at your chicken legs?"_

"Yeah! You know, I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there." Dipper said, repeating 3's insult.

"Maybe I will, smart guy." He said, bumping Dipper on his way out.

"_Please do!" _

"He is such a jerk." Mabel said angrily looking at her ruined candy.

"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs."

"I'll be there with you, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH A PIG!" She ran off, leaving 3 and Dipper behind.

"Huh, 5 seconds, that's a new record."

"_I think your sister has ADHD."_

"Thanks for the Bottomless Pit insult."

"_No problem. Though I can't see the appeal of having more, book eating farm animals."_ 3 said in revulsion, it had developed a bit of a phobia of farm animals and water.

"Oh, there's Wendy!" Dipper said, running off, leaving 3 to wonder if he also has ADHD.

* * *

><p>"Whoa, check it out! Don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" Wendy said looking at a purple pack, dunda, puck?<p>

Dipper walks up to ball toss game and said, "My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."

"_I can believe that."_ 3 said out loud, causing Wendy and the carnie to look around. Wendy then laughs, thinking it was a joke. "One ball, please."

"You only get one chance." The carnie warned as Wendy gave him a thumbs up.

"And a-one and a-two and a-three!" He threw the ball; it misses, bounces back, and hits Wendy in the eye. _Ohh…100 points._

"AH! MY EYE!"

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Wendy! Are you okay?" Dipper asked frantic.

"Does it look swollen?" She asked, taking her hand off it to see a black eye. Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!" He ran to the ice box, gets ice, "Where is she, where is she?" He panted, looking around and ran into a bald man and dropped the ice. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!" The man grabbed a tape measure and ran off.

"_That was weird."_

"No time for that now!"

He ran back to Wendy and stopped dead when he saw Robbie there, holding a snow cone over her eye.

"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone."

"Robbie thanks. That's really sweet. The gesture and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. You know, I've been meaning to ask you." He began nervously, "We've been spending a lot of time together, and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet!"

Dipper looked crushed and at that moment balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart behind him and he dropped the ice.

Mabel chose that moment to come back holding a pig. "Look, Dipper! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call him that because he waddles! Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!" _Get that book eater away from me!_

"Everything is different now." He said in a pained voice.

"What are you looking at?"

He points at Robbie and Wendy getting on a ride called "Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs"

"Oh..."

* * *

><p>Night falls and the lights on the Ferris wheel are turned on. Dipper lies down on the Slopey Toss. He ignored a man trying to play the game, who left. Mabel came by again to shove her pig in his face dressed like a doctor.<p>

"Paging, Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Ha-ha! Come on, man. These are the jokes."

"Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?" _I know I don't. _"Nope! I do everything right, all the time!" She said proudly as she played with Waddles.

"I mean Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for...that guy!" He gasped looking at the bald guy from earlier he walked up to him, shouting. "Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life! Don't huh me. I've seen you before, what's your deal? Are you following us?"

"And why are you bald? What's that all about?" Mabel asked in the same tone

"_Why are you stalking children, you pedo."_

"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPRIMISED! Assuming stealth mode!" The bald man yelps and started to mess with his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds. _Were those dinosaurs in amber?_

"Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" He takes out Stan's screwdriver and tries to fix it.

"That's amazing! Are you from the future or something?" Mabel asked.

"Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!" He throws a piece of paper in Mabel's face.

"This is a baby wipe."

The bald man sighed and said, "All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."

"So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"

"That's... kind of how it works." He said as Robbie and Wendy rode by on the Ferris wheel.

"Can I borrow it?" Dipper asked hopefully. "Come on, can I use your time machine just once?"

"No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment." He pulls out a tape measure_. I expected a time machine to be more…grand._

"It looks like a tape measure." Dipper said, unimpressed.

"You shut your time-mouth!"

Dipper looked at Mabel and asked, "This making any sense to you?"

"I think he's just crazy." _Ditto. _

"Oh! You don't believe me?" He pulls the tape measure, disappears, and then reappears a few seconds later in old fashioned clothes, "Guess where I was!"

"Whoa!"

"_Renaissance?" _

"That's right! 15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second!" He disappears, and then reappears in his normal suit, which is on fire, "Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!" He pats the fire out.

"So, who are you again?" Mabel asked.

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty snyeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox or I'm just really tired..." _Maybe you caused them by being here?_

Dipper then says, "You know, you sound like you could use a break."

"Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?" Mabel said, holding out 2 tickets to Blendin.

"You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it! But I've got my eye on you! Ehh... ehhh..." He said running off.

* * *

><p>They followed him and grabbed the belt from under Soos nose while Blendin was distracted and ran back to the Mystery Shack. Dipper, 3, Mabel, and much to 3's ire, Waddles was sitting at the table looking at the Time Machine.<p>

"Here it is, Mabel. Our ticket to any moment in history." _Yeah…_

"Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" _How about no…We could always see my Father, but that could create a paradox where he hides me somewhere Dipper would never find me._

"No! We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox's talk kind of freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that baseball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."

"I'm coming, too! I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles." She then kisses Waddles.

"See you later."

"See you earlier!" Mabel told Waddles, laughing.

* * *

><p>They then reappear in same spot, with Dipper's hat on fire which he quickly put out. They grin at each other and heard Stan once again announcing that the Dunk Tank is open.<p>

"Do-over?" Dipper asked, grinning.

"Do over!"

Dipper soon catches up with Wendy and called out, "Hey, Wendy!"

"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?" Pointing at his singed hat.

"Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that?" Pointing at the carnival stand, Dipper redid the game and to Dipper's and 3's surprise, it repeated exactly, even though he knocked over the bottles. "That's so weird..."

Wendy hooked up with Robbie again and Dipper met back up with Mabel.

"The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."

"_You're telling me."_

"Oh, maybe it's a time-curse. Waddles, can you say "time-curse"?" Mabel said as Waddles oinked.

"Your face is so fat!" Mabel squealed.

"It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes? No, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm!"

"_Maybe the variables are off?"_

"How hard could it be?"

Dipper and Mabel retried 3 more times and no matter how hard he'd tried, he couldn't win without hitting Wendy.

"_Dipper, maybe we should abandon the puck, pack, dunda and do something other than try to win the doll?"_ 3 asked logically, fed up with the attempts.

"Yeah, you're right."

He asked, "Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?"

"More than anything in the world, Dipper." _It's just a badly made doll!_ 3 groused, annoyed by Wendy forcing Dipper doing all of this for her.

"Okay..." He tried again and broke open a bag off balls that spitted on Wendy.

Robbie appeared from under the stand helped her up and shook his head at Dipper.

* * *

><p>Mabel, 3, and Dipper are waiting near a popcorn machine. Dipper is writing on it, trying to figure out the dynamics of winning without hurting Wendy.<p>

"...I just thought the wind speed…factoring cotton candy..." 3 watched him worried; he was becoming obsessed with winning the stupid thing and could end up hurting himself for a girl who didn't even notice him. _Now I know how all those boy's feel in Mabel's Rom-Com's._

"Face it, Dipper, you're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles. She said knitting a sweater with Waddles on it, much to 3's disgust. _No need to rub it in._

"Like there's variable missing..."

"What's a variable?" Mabel asked from behind the popcorn machine.

"That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!'

"Great! I'm gonna go win my pig again." She started to walk off, but Dipper stopped her.

"Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave; I need you for my plan!"

"But what about Waddles?" _Your dumb pig can stand waiting a few more minutes for you. Besides, you promised to help him before you met Waddles-the-book-eater. _

"It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!"

* * *

><p>They go meet Wendy and Dipper checked the wind speed to trigger his plan.<p>

"Are you gonna go, man?"

"And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" He threw the ball straight up as Wendy sighed in disappointment.

"Ah! Dude! You missed!"

"Did I?" The ball came back behind them as they both ducked and Dipper finally won the puck.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss." The carnies said giving Wendy Duck-panda.

"Oh, awesome!" Wendy exclaimed squeezing the dunda as Dipper catches the ball with his hat.

"_Congrats!"_ 3 called out, causing Wendy and Robbie, who just arrived, to look around.

"There you are, Wendy!"

"Hey, Robbie."

Robbie asked, "So I was wondering if I…You a..."

"Look what Dipper got for me!" Wendy said interrupting him.

Robbie looked crushed and said, "Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." He pulls hood over face and walks away. _I'm suddenly reminded of Sweater Town. _

"What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy." Wendy smiled, patting Dipper on the shoulder as a carnie yelled out.

"We have a winner!" 3 was happy for Dipper, but something deep inside of its conscious stirred in anger. Dipper and Wendy rode in the corndog of love and 3 heard a scream that sounded like Mabel echo throughout the area.

"That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper!" Wendy then run off as Mabel ran over, screaming.

"What's-" Dipper tried to ask, but was cut off by Mabel's screaming until it snapped 3's worn temper

"_SHUT UP!"_

This snapped Mabel out of it and Dipper quickly asked his sister before she could question the disembodied voice, "What's wrong?"

"We messed up the timeline! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did! She TOOK Waddles, Dipper!"

"Oh, Mabel, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We just need to go back and do things differently." Mabel snatched the time machine.

"Mabel! Wait. Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess up this day again!" 3 agreed; _Let Dipper have his time with Wendy. _

"But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever!" They wrestle for the time machine and a car comes by and stretches it out then let go, sending Dipper, 3, and Mabel back in time and on their faces.

* * *

><p>"When are we? "<p>

"The real question is: when are we? Oh wait, did you already-" Mabel said confused.

"Yeah, I already-"

"Alright."

"It's the same thing. Do hear that?"

A stampede of Buffalo suddenly comes out and they started running, they ran off the cliff and landed on some flour in a covered wagon. _Did we go back to Pioneer Day?_

A settler called out, "Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!"

"Dysentery! Who wants dysentery?"

"Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this... Oregon trail."

"Where are we? The 70s?" Mabel asked.

"You sent us back 150 years, genius, its pioneer times!"

"By, Trembley! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to two more children!" The settler said, looking at pregnant woman, surrounded by children of various ages.

"It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow."

"Tallow? What?" Mabel asked, revealing her braces. _To make candles._

A boy noticed and called out, "Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!"

"These are called braces."

"Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!" _I agree!_ _You could end up never being born!_

"Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig_?" It's just a stupid pig that'll just eat me, you selfish little girl. Besides, we wouldn't even have a problem if you kept your promise in the first place!_ 3 said, defending Dipper.

Mabel grabbed the calculator and held it up, "I'll mess with the past all I want! Check it out! A magic button machine! Shoes that blink!" She stomps on the floor and her shoes light up, much to the delight of the pioneers.

"Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top!" She gives the woman a high five. "That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!"

* * *

><p>Dipper takes time machine from her, "Give me that! I'm gonna set the timeline right!" He pulled the tape and he and Mabel disappear. They appear in front of a large carnivorous dinosaur. <em>Oh Shit.<em>

Dipper presses buttons and they disappeared.

* * *

><p>They appeared in a war torn area, everything is in ruins and there are two moons. One person noticed them and screamed.<p>

"Run! Run!"

"IT'S COMING!"

A giant baby floats over with the same symbol on its forehead as the Time Machine and destroyed a building with lasers from its eyes.

"This future seems neat!" Mabel said in a chipper voice. _What the Hell is wrong with you!?_

Dipper takes time machine and presses buttons frantically.

* * *

><p>They appear at the Gravity Falls Lake. <em>I remember this, this is the day the crazy old man chased us with a machine! <em>

"I'M COMING, WADDLES!" She ran off with Dipper chasing after her, dropping the calculator

Old Man McGucket was yelling, "I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN! _I remember this, this is the day the crazy old man chased us with a machine! _

* * *

><p>They are at the unveiling of Wax Stan as Stan was saying, "But enough about me behold: ME!"<p>

Dipper tripped over wire and loses his shoe.

* * *

><p>They then appear the day 3 and Dipper met, with the gnomes are cornering the golf cart. Mabel's flower pin flies out of her hair.<p>

* * *

><p>They appear again in the same spot years ago, but this time it is snowing.<p>

Mabel started to juggle the machine, _"This thing is getting hotter! HOT! HOTHOTHOT!" YOU'VE OVER USED IT! _

"What did you do?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" They traveled again and appeared in complete darkness.

"Where are we?" Mabel asked.

"There's nothing but inky blackness for miles! Mabel, don't you see? We've transported to the end of time!" _Shouldn't there be a street lamp and an old man with a bucket?_

They began screaming

"AAAGH! Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?" Mabel asked then found a door and opens it. They are in the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair, "Look, we're back in the present!"

"But which present?"

"This is the best present ever!" Wendy said celebrated as Waddles tried to escape Pacifica

"NO!" She chases Dipper," Gimme that thing! Dipper give it back!"

Dipper climbed to top of portable toilet and desperately said, "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!" _Stop being selfish, your brother deserves some happiness after the day he's gone through, no thanks to you._ 3 said annoyed.

"But what about Waddles? He was my soul mate!" Mabel begged. _It's a pig!_

"You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?"

"I don't know..." She said with tears pricking at her eyes and starts to hit her head against the totem pole.

"You're not guilt-tripping me, Mabel. Not this time." He said as she banged her head against the wood.

"Come on, Mabel, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day!" He takes the time machine out of his pocket, "Here! Hey! I'll prove it!"

* * *

><p>He went forward a day, "See?" Mabel is still hitting her head on the pole, "Okay, maybe you'll forget in a week..." She was still doing it. "A month! She'll better in a month!"<p>

Vines growing on her legs, "Waddles...Waddles..."

Soos soon came by, leading a tour, "...And when you look at you're left, you'll see Miserable Mabel: a girl who went bonkers after her dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Oh, hey, Dipper!"

"_That's nice! Mabel is just being a selfish brat who can't handle losing to her brother!" _3 screamed in anger.

Dipper sighed, "3, it's okay…I guess this just means Wendy and Robbie are supposed to be together."

"_But Dipper, you tried so hard! Maybe, Mabel will get over that farm yard scourge in a year; just lead a cute boy towards her." _

Dipper smiled sadly, "I can't, and I can't stand to see Mabel so miserable. If Waddles makes her happy, then she should have him. Who knows, maybe Wendy and Robbie will break up sometime in the future." He held up the time machine.

3 sighed_, "If you think it's for the best, I think I can handle another one of those farm animals in our room. But the moment he starts sniffing me with a gleam in those eyes, I'm learning how to make pork roast with no hands."_ 3 gave in.

* * *

><p>He goes back to the ball stand where Wendy was saying, "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!"<p>

Dipper sighed and reluctantly said, "Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated."

"Dude, you lost me."

"I know. One ball, please."

"You only get one chance."

"And a-one and a-two and a-huh!" He threw the ball, hits Wendy.

Robbie comes up on time and says, "Hey, Wendy are you okay? You know this is the perfect time for me to ah... ask you something…"

"It is done." Mabel then tackled Dipper to the ground, shouting.

"DIPPER! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" She lifts up Dipper. _Happy you got your way_, 3 commented scathingly. Waddles oinked.

"He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you, Waddles?" He just continued to oink as Pacifica was pecked by a chicken.

"I couldn't break your heart, Mabel. Besides, there's no way Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?"

Blendin suddenly grabs the time machine out of Dipper's hands, "YOU TWO!" Dipper, 3, and Mabel screamed as Waddles squealed.

"Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you...it was probably a lot, right?" He asked angrily.

Two futuristic cops appeared on either side of Blendin. "Blendin Blandin…"

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!"

The other cop continued, "That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settler's high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!" _Way to go Mabel. _

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct." Blendin was handcuffed him and was led away.

"It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!" _How desperate are you to blame an animal._

"That's a pig, Blendin." One cop scoffed.

"I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" _That doesn't sound good. _

"Well, we're still here."

"Guess he forgot to go back."

The cops passed by Stan who was taunting the tourists, he then called out to the cops who responded by firing a laser at the target, causing him to fall into the tank.

"So I guess we never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for." Mabel said as the twins ate snow cones.

"Wait, Mabel; I think it was us." I think you're right.

"Ugh, my brain hurts."

"Oh, geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?" Dipper said, pointing at Robbie hamming it up to Wendy with a caramel apple.

Mabel then smiled and pointed to the apple, Waddles charged at Robbie causing him to run and drop the apple. He crashed into a bucket of hot water causing his pants to shrink.

"My pants! They're shrinking!" This caused everyone to laugh at him as Wendy covered her face laughing.

"Oh man."

Dipper looks at Waddles and said, "That'll do pig, that'll do." _I think we'll get along fine, Farmyard scor- I mean Waddles._

The twins walked away and Mabel said, "You know Dipper, for a while now I've been hearing a disembodied voice nearby." 3 and Dipper gulped nervously and said, "O-oh yeah? Weird, I hadn't noticed."

"Maybe we can go on a mystery hunt and solve it! Isn't that right Waddles?" She walked away.

"3, maybe we should let Mabel in on the secret."

"_I think you're right…"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well it's done. Waddles is in the picture. After this I'll start playing with canon. That means I'll either switch or skip over some episodes and change them to my liking. Stay tuned.**


	11. Chapter 10

Journal chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3 or books talking

"_Talk"_-Dipper to 3

Warning 3's temper and language. Major divergence here.

Polls

Girl-4

Boy-2

It-2

**A/N: This is a major turn in canon, this recently came to me in a brainstorm and I had to crank it out and switched some episodes around. Go easy on me, please.**

* * *

><p>Carpet Diem<p>

3, C, and Sunset watched as Dipper and Mabel played with the fake eye balls in a game of attic Mini-golf

"Hwaah! Total domination! I am the master of Attic Stuff Mini-golf! From the mighty Swiss Alps! To the badlands of Dipper's old laundry where man fears to tread!" Mabel crowed as she got a hole in one.

"Alright let a pro on the field. Or floor, whatever." Dipper said, going up to the tee. _False, you need to be certified by a golfing agent and invited to events to be a "pro",_ C scoffed. 3 glared at C. _Lay off C, they're just having an old fashion taunting match. You should know about old fashion._

Dipper hits the eyeball very hard. The eyeball bounces around the room and crashes through a window. It then hits Grunkle Stan in the head. They could hear him shout from here.

"Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!"

"Yes! Stan shot. Is that legal?"

Mabel and Dipper look at the judge, Waddles, and see him eating the score card.

"The judges say it's out of bounds." _Oh if you got a Stan shot would it be out of bounds!_ 3 muttered infuriated. _Calm down 3,_ Sunset begged_, Mabel will hear you. Sunset is quite right, stop acting like a jealous ex and simmer down,_ C agreed.

_Jealous!? I'm not jealous, it's not like I want to hang out with Dipper without him carrying me and those 2 girls treat that as a given right. No sir, I'm not jealous!_ 3 shouted at C who was giving off an aura of superiority.

"You're out of bounds!" Dipper said lightly jabbing Mabel in the stomach with his golf club, completely unaware of the debate behind him.

"Hey! Stop it!" She laughed jabbing him back. They continued jabbing each other for a few seconds until Mabel's "Meow o'clock" clock starts ringing. _That clock is annoying as hell!_ 3 huffed, still a little ruffled from C's jealousy taunt.

"Hey, Dipper, I gotta go hang out with Candy and Grenda tonight."

"Aw, again? You can't leave mid-game." He complained 3 on the other hand was thrilled to have Mabel away for the night, which meant another in-depth talk with Dipper with no interruptions.

"Don't be silly, I'm not leaving. My friends are coming to me!" She announced to both Dipper's and 3's shock.

"Wait, what? Oh no. No no no. Sleeping bags? Rom-coms? Calling All Boys: Preteen Edition?! You're not having a-" _Oh dear lord please no,_ was the thought shared between the books.

The door suddenly opens and shows Candy and Grenda grinning in the shadows. They walk in and interrupt Dipper and finish his sentence.

"Sleepover!"

Dipper, 3, C, and Sunset screamed in terror.

* * *

><p>Mabel, Grenda, Candy, and Waddles are sitting on Mabel's bed and talking about boys.<p>

"Okay, so how much do you like boys?" Mabel asked Grenda.

"So much!"

"Boys make me think about kissing!" Candy confessed giggling.

"Candy! Oh my gosh!" Grenda then throws a pillow at Candy and it hits her in the head.

"We are so crazy tonight!" Mabel exclaimed and the girls started screaming loudly.

Dipper meanwhile was on the bed with a pillow over his ears; the books however didn't have that luxury. _Dear god shut them up,_ C grounded out. Sunset whimpered pitifully as it tried to fall behind the shelf. 3 was going over various tortures repeating the mantra, "I must not violently rip out their vocal cords" over and over again.

"Who wants to smear makeup on my face?" Grenda yelled, which caused the boy and books to grit their 'teeth' in fury or pain.

"Ugh, you're already so beautiful, Grenda. What would be the point?" Mabel asked, wide eyed.

Grenda started to punch the floor chanting, "Beautiful! Beautiful!" If books could cry, Sunset would be bawling by now in fear or anger.

Dipper finally lost it and yelled at the girls, "Arrrrgh! Mabel! Do you think you can do this somewhere else?! You're laughing at frequencies only dogs should hear!" _Here, here!_ The books agreed.

"Come on, it's not that bad." _Not that bad!? Poor Waddles is deaf by now, that lucky swine. If we were in a suburban setting, an angry mob would be standing outside with pitchforks and torches demanding you three to shut up! _3 yelled mentally as the other two agreed_._

"You know what your brother needs?"

Mabel gasped and said in barely contained excitement, "A makeover?"

Candy then conjured up random beauty products as Dipper screamed; he quickly grabbed a pillow, blanket, and 3 and ran downstairs. _Wait! Take us with you! _C and Sunset yelled after them.

* * *

><p>Downstairs he walked up to Soos, and asked tiredly, "Hey Soos, can I sleep in your break room tonight?"<p>

"Of course, dude."

Soos opens the door to reveal a very cramped room with hazardous pipes and steam.

"_We might have to go somewhere else for the night."_ 3 whispered.

"You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block. Beebity boop boop beep beepity boop bop boop boop. The trick is to hold perfectly still." He said as he rests his hand on a pipe and his arm gets scorched, "Ow, wait wait. Ow, wait wait. Ow, wait wait." He repeated the action a couple of times.

"I think I'll sleep somewhere else..."

Dipper walks away while Soos continues doing the same thing over and over again, while they walked away, 3 heard Soos said "Oh, actually felt good that time".

Dipper finally decides to campout next to the totem pole.

"Ah...sleeping under the stars...not bad."

"_Yeah, and we don't have to listen to high pitched squeal's"_ 3 agreed, a little miffed they've been kicked out of their room but still happy to be alone with Dipper until they heard growling right next to them. They turned to see a rabid wolf biting his leg.

"_Where the hell did that come from!?"_

"Aah! Get off! Aah! Get away!" He glanced up and sees Mabel's sleepover from the window. Mabel, Grenda, and Candy are jumping up and down, singing.

He and said looks at the wolf, "This is still better." He lay down again; the wolf continues to gnaw on his leg.

"_I agree…"_ 3 said sadly, its chance to be alone with Dipper ruined, _"Well goodnight Dipper, rabid wolf."_

"Goodnight, 3."

The wolf just growled.

* * *

><p>Dipper and 3 drowsily walked back to the room, Dipper with a limp. Up the way, they pasted by Candy covered in duct tape and Grenda covered in lipstick. He paused and 3 said, <em>"I don't want to know."<em>

"Hey brother! Want any of this leftover pizza? It's got glitter on it!" Mabel greeted the cranky duo shaking the tarnished food in Dipper's face. _Ughh…how was your night 3?_ Sunset asked tiredly in a scratchy voice, it seemed to have spent all night in 'tears'. _I hope it was better than ours,_ C said, too tired to be snarky or irritated. _Wildlife tried to eat Dipper,_ was all 3 said.

"Mabel, last night an owl tried to eat my tongue."

"Ha ha! That's great!" She said, thinking he was joking,

"No it's not great! This." He points to their dirty and wrecked room. "Is impossible to live with!"

"What? I'm delightful to live with! Get ready to be poked by the fun stick! Boop!" She said offended then got out a stick and pokes Dipper with it. _We beg to differ!_ The books yelled.

He slaps it out of Mabel's hand, "Mabel, I've had it with the fun stick! You've totally wrecked our room. And-oh no! Our mini-golf course!" He said, anguished at he looked at the destroyed course.

"Heh heh heh, yeah. Grenda sure loves breaking things."

"Mabel we need to lay down some ground rules if we're gonna be living in this room together. First of all, no sleepovers." Dipper said, _yeah!_

"What?! Well if I can't have sleepovers, than you can't keep me up every night with your summer reading." _What's wrong with me!?_ C asked affronted.

"How does reading keep you up?"

"You keep clicking the pen!" _I find it soothing, _C muttered.

"Well, at least my braces don't whistle when I breathe."

"At least I wash my clothes once in a while."

"Washing clothes is a waste of time, I'm a busy guy!"

Mabel stared meowing

"Alright if you meow one more time-"

"Meow meow meow!"

"Okay that's it! That's the final straw! Maybe we shouldn't share a room anymore!" _Take us with you!_

Mabel seemed unsure the firmed, "Wha...uh...well maybe we shouldn't!"

"Fine by me!"

"Double fine by me!"

"Then we need to talk to Grunkle Stan about moving rooms."

"Yeah. He's a reasonable guy." _You've had too much glitter pizza._

* * *

><p>Dipper, Mabel, and 3 walked over to Stan who was watching TV and said, "Grunkle Stan, we want different rooms."<p>

Stan scoffed and said, "Ha! And I want a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen."

"Magic money pants...?" Mabel asked, confused.

"Come on, Grunkle Stan. Can't we work something out?" Dipper pleaded.

"Look kid, there's my room and the attic. That's it. What do you think, there's some kind of "secret hidden room" in the Shack?" _Well it certainly has room for it. _

A very loud crash is heard and Soos called out, "Dudes! I found some kind of secret hidden room in the Shack!" _Well, that was awfully convenient_.

Dipper and Mabel grin at each other and ran towards Soos who was in front of a fancy door.

"Okay, so I was cleaning up behind this bookcase when boom! Mystery door! This ole' Shack is full of weird secrets." He opened the door and they all look into it. Dipper, 3, and Mabel walked into it and looked around.

"Whoa-hoh!" Dipper said, looking around in amazement.

"Classy..."

Dipper looked at a calendar that said July, 4th 1982 as Mabel coughed from the dust.

Dipper knelt down and looked at the tag poking from the carpet, "Experiment 78? Grunkle Stan, what is this place?"

Stan frowned, "I don't know. Just another room I gotta clean up now." He takes a pair of glasses off a table and puts it in his shirt and walks in further. Mabel was making snow angels in the carpet.

"This carpet is amazing!"

"Yeah, if you're into things that are terrible." Stan groused, passing by.

Dipper saw a key on the wall and grabs it, "Problem solved, I'll move in here!" Dipper announced while 3 silently cheered.

"What? Why do you automatically get the room? We both saw it at the same time."

"Wait a second." He takes the key from Dipper, "So you both want this room, huh? I guess I'll give it to whichever one of you I like more." He unties his own shoe and said in a fake way, "Uh oh. Looks like my shoes untied." _Great parenting._

Dipper and Mabel look at each other for a second before attacking each other trying, to tie Stan's shoe as Stan cheered them on.

"Muah ha ha. To the kitchen! Fight, fight, fight!"

Stan runs to the kitchen and Dipper and Mabel let go of his shoe. They get up to follow him out the exit, but Soos blocks the door, "Whoa! I don't know dudes; this room gives me major, creep-o vibes. You know, the attic is a pretty good space. Maybe you two should appreciate what you got." _We can handle it,_ 3 said annoyed.

Dipper and Mabel look at each other before running past Soos. Soon Dipper, 3, and Mabel are in the kitchen, elbowing each other and stood in front of Stan. He held up a key and announced, "Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. Whoever sucks-up the hardest gets the key to the new room." _Once again, great parenting._

"Grunkle Stan, we're not gonna suck-up to you just to get the new room." Dipper said, stubbornly.

"Yeah we are!" Mabel said happily.

"Ten suck-up points for Mabel!"

"I mean-uh-yeah we are!" Dipper said hurried.

"Trying too hard. Minus 15 suck-up points." _Negative scores!?_

"What?"

"Good decision Grunkle Stan!" Mabel said smugly.

"Trying way too hard! Plus 50 suck-up points!" _I'm starting to think Stan is way too biased towards Mabel._

Dipper's expression darkened. Stan then held up a bucket, "Now, who wants to re-tile the roof in searing 105 degree heat?"

Dipper and Mabel both called, "Me me! I'll do it!"

Dipper took the bucket and ran outside, with Mabel on his heels.

"Gimme it!"

"No!" Dipper called

"It's mine!"

"Mine!"

"I'll kill you!" Mabel cried.

"_You're a selfish brat!"_ 3 yelled, distracting Mabel, allowing Dipper to grab the bucket.

* * *

><p>Later Dipper and Mabel are mowing the lawn while Stan watches them. Dipper stops for a second to take a break.<p>

"Dipper, you're phoning it in!" Stan called and Dipper returned to work.

"Man, that's refreshing. 10 suck-up points for this lemonade!" He gave the lemonade a voice, "Thank you, Stan!"

"Oh-ho! 10 more for politeness. Oh, and so sweet"!

Dipper opened the door to the twin's room and took a break, "All these chores will be worth it when I get this room."

"_Just a little more; we could always sabotage Mabel." We'll help if you take us with you,_ C and Sunset offered.

"Are you still mad about the Waddles thing?"

"_No, it's just that she always gets her way; she has to understand that it'll never go her way all the time. Besides, I can't take anymore slumber parties." Same here._

Mabel then came into the room and said, "Hey brother. You'd better get comfortable. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face."

Dipper growled at his smug sister and started to seriously consider 3's suggestion of sabotage. Mabel continued with a smirk, "Face it. I'm like a suck-up ninja. The room's as good as mine. You might as well give up now. What do you say?" She stretched out a hand.

"I say I'm gonna win the room somehow, and when I do I'll finally have my own space...and we'll never have to share anything ever again!" He slapped away Mabel's hand and turned away to sit on his bed. He pulled out 3 to look for something to get more suck-up points.

Mabel narrowed her eyes and looked at 3 and snatched it out of his hands.

"Hey!?" Dipper and 3 yelped.

"Give it back, Mabel!" Dipper said angrily, hold out his hands while 3 was so enraged, it was speechless.

"I will…if you give up!"

"Never!"

"Then I guess you won't see your nerdy book until you do!" She ran out the door, slamming it in his face. She raced down the stairs and into the room giggling.

"Now, where to hide this dumb book…" By this point, 3 was taking every inch of its patience not to start cursing the girl out. Mabel spotted a high shelf and shuffled over the shag carpet, making static to spark up from her shoes.

She stumbled a bit and dropped 3 on the carpet, making electricity spark on it. _Ow…static!_

Mabel leaned down and touched 3, making a spark connect between them, with a flash both 3 and Mabel screamed in terror.

* * *

><p>"Urgh…What happened?" 3 groaned out holding its head in its hand. Wait, head? Hand? 3's eyes snapped open and stared down at the hands. "Wh-what the Hell?" 3's voice pitch has changed and it now sounded like, Mabel?!<p>

It looked around and saw Journal 3 lying next to it. _Oh, what happened? Why can't I move?_ 3 jerked back and realized that it could still hear books. 3 shakily stood up and stumbled to the mirror. _Wait! That's my body!_ Mabel cried from the book.

3 stared at the mirror and made movements. It was in Mabel's body…her body…3 turned back to its old…body? And picked up Mabel. _What's going on!?_ They both screamed in their heads.

"Okay…" 3 said, testing its new vocal cords, "Okay, obviously, the carpet switched our consciousness around." 3 looked at the dumbfounded Mabel and decided to introduce itself to Mabel. "Hello, Mabel. I'm Journal 3, the consciousness that resided in the book you stole from your brother." _Wait what?! Does Dipper know you're a body stealing jerk!_

3 frowned at Mabel and said, "You're really not in the position to start throwing names around, girl. Besides, you switched bodies all on your own. When you created static on the carpet, you switched our consciousness around. And as for if Dipper knows, well he's known for a long time." 3 could feel Mabel's confusion and betrayal. "Don't be like that, he just wanted a little harmless secret. Besides, I asked him not to." 3 scolded.

_Why didn't you want to tell me? _Mabel asked, despite herself. "I wasn't sure if we could trust you with my secret that you wouldn't tell the first boy you met about me. I didn't want to be taken away. _I see…can I have my body back now?_ 3 chuckled and said, "I don't plan on staying in your body any longer than I have to. All I have to do is to generate static and we'll switch back." 3 stood up and walked towards the carpet when it heard Dipper banging on the locked door.

"Mabel! Give me back Journal 3!" He screamed outside the door.

3 took a step back, eyes widening. It realized, finally it had a body…it could spend time with Dipper, granted it was in his sister's body, but it'll take what it can get. It should probably do the mature and responsible thing and change back quickly but when will 3 ever get this chance again?

3 smiled winningly down at Mabel, "Change of plans, you'll have to wait until tonight until we switch back. I'm gonna go hang out with Dipper and you…well, do whatever it is, Mabel's do."

With that 3 stuffed Mabel under the 'L' couch and unlocked the door to see a red faced and angry Dipper on the other side. "Mabel! Give it back!"

'Mabel' smiled, "I would, if you do a little something for me." 3 said, laying it on a little thick. Dipper snarled and said, "I won't give up, Mabel!"

3 smiled, "Ah…I don't care about some dirty old room anymore! I realized that it was tearing our bond apart." 'Mabel' said, closing the door and leading Dipper to the den. "I decided to quit the contest, you deserve it more."

Dipper looked at his sister stunned, "Y-you really mean it?"

"Mmhm."

"W-wow, thank you Mabel. To tell you the truth, I really hate fighting with you, but can you please give 3 back?"

"Why so desperate to get it back? Is it alive or something?" 3 laughed at Dipper's terrified expression. "I'm joking, no need to be so serious. But that's the favor I want. The fighting has slightly torn our bond and we should mend it by going out…like brother and sister."

"Where would we go anyway?" Dipper asked happy to have made up with his 'sister.'

'Hey you! Yeah you! Just had a fight with family or significant other, well come down town to the one day only carnival? It has corn dogs, cotton candy and rides, Admission is FREEEEE!'

"Well that was convenient." 'Mabel' said, it turned to Dipper and said, "I'll go tell Grunkle Stan I'm withdrawing and I'll go get ready. See ya!" 'Mabel' waved and ran off.

3 knew it'll get a lot of grief for this later, but it'll make sure it was worth it.

* * *

><p>Mabel meanwhile, was having a crisis. A book has possessed her body and is now using it to cozy up to her brother. The door opened and her body walked in, the book retrieved her from under the couch and carried her upstairs and laid her on Dipper's bed.<p>

"Oh C, Sunset guess what happened!" 3 said in a sing-song voice. Mabel and 3 could feel the confusion coming from her and Dipper's books.

_D-did 3 reveal us?! _Sunset asked shocked. 3 knelt next to Sunset, "Sort of, well it turns out the new room has a magic carpet that can switch consciousness around. It's really me Sunset and you old-fashion stick in the mud."

_If you're in Mabel, then that means…_C trailed off in shock. "That's right; I'm in Mabel's in my….container? Well, regardless, I'm gonna go spend some time with Dipper in her body. Please take care of Mabel." 3 said with a wink and turned around, to figure out how to change clothes. It chose to wear a numbered shirt with a dark fuchsia background.

_Don't worry 3_; C said with a dark air, _we'll take good care of her._ 3 smiled and left the room. C and Sunset then turned their attention towards Mabel. _Now, let's talk about being considerate about other people and keeping to an appropriate volume._

* * *

><p>Dipper was waiting outside when 'Mabel' came back. "You took forever." Dipper laughed.<p>

"What can I say? Perfection takes time." They laughed and Gompers the goat walked over to inspect the twins.

'Mabel' screamed and hid behind Dipper. "Whoa, what's gotten into you?"

"Oh…Ah…the goat just startled me!" 3 cursed the goat in its mind. Dipper looked at 'Mabel' suspiciously, "Forget about that, we don't have all day!" 3 yelled, pushing him towards town, trying to get away from the evil goat.

"Wow! The whole town is here." 3 gushed looking around the carnival.

"Well, there is really nothing to do in this town anyway." Dipper said nervous that he thought 3 wasn't with him, it the first time they've been 'separated.'

"Why are you so nervous, let's have fun!" 3 screamed Mabel-like in his ear, pushing him towards the attractions.

Dipper couldn't help but notice that something was off about Mabel. For one thing, she was terrible at shooter games which she was great at, thanks to her grabbling hook. She bulked at going to the petting zoo and muttered something about farm animals. She was scared to go on the Roller Coaster, which was weird because she loved them. She also liked clowns when Mabel thought they were creepy

The weirdest thing is when they ran into Pacifica and her groupies.

"Well, well if it isn't the Pines Twins. Shouldn't you 2 be working at the freak show? It started 20 minutes ago. Also Mabel," She started at 3's sweater in disgust, "Gold numbers on fuchsia? How gaudy." She laughed obnoxiously with her groupies.

Dipper growled, but 'Mabel' beat him to the punch. "Oh Pacifica, once again you couldn't coordinate your clothes unless they were different shades of the same color. Also, did you shower in makeup and perfume?"

Pacifica stopped dead and gaped at 'Mabel' who was smirking loftily. "Would you please leave? I rather not make you look more pathetic then you're already are by not bullying me. Yes, poop-shoveler?" Pacifica snarled and turned away with her entourage. Dipper was looking at 'Mabel' in bewilderment.

They later rested on a fence, eating cotton candy and Dipper had to stop her from drinking soda to prevent a repeat of the other time she did that.

"Hey Mabel, are you feeling okay?" He asked her, looking from the corner of his eye.

"I'm fine Dippe. Why do you ask?" 'Mabel' said, savoring the sweetness of the spun sugar on 'her' taste buds.

"Well…you've been acting weird." Dipper began, "You suddenly lost your skill at shooting games, you like clowns, and you suddenly hate roller coasters. You also stand upped to Pacifica, brutally and you suddenly hate farm animals!" 3 shuttered at that word. "Not to mention the prank you pulled Blubs and Durland."

**Flashback**

Dipper looked at his 'sister' wide eyed. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" He was looking down at the cops reading a newspaper.

"No, that why it's fun!" Dipper shrugged as 'Mabel' pour powdered glue and glitter into the car and he poured the water and feathers.

The cops screamed and started to run around. "We've became shiny chickens! My horoscope came true!" Durland screamed.

**End Flashback**

"Though it was pretty funny." Dipper continued, "Anyway, it's like you're entire personality has flipped. In fact…you started to sound like…" He was cut off when Old Man McGucket ran by them, chasing a familiar pig.

"Oh no! McGucket is going to eat Waddles!" Dipper cried, shooting to his feet.

"So." 3 asked still savoring the sweetness. Dipper looked at her shocked; she moped for a month when she lost him, now she didn't care!? Then his words caught up with it and shot to its feet. "Did you say Waddles!? Oh no, if anything happens to him, Mabel will kill me!"

3 chased after McGucket who had cornered Waddles, 3 dropped kick McGucket into the wall and grabbed Waddles, with Dipper glaring suspiciously at 3.

"Oh thanks, dude." Waddles said. 3 and Dipper froze then 3 realized, "Soos!?"

Soos in Waddles body nodded. "Yeah, wished I was a pig, it didn't work out. If you don't mind, I'm gonna pass out now."

"Okay Mabel!" Dipper turned accusingly at 3, "Or whoever you are, who are you and what have you done with Mabel.

The jig was up. 3 smiled sadly at Dipper and said, "I'll give you a hint, I use to be a book."

His eyes widened and said shocked, "3!? How are you in Mabel's body!?"

Mabel nervously twirled its hair and said, "Turns out the shag carpet can switch bodies with electricity. And, well, I and Mabel switched bodies…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dipper asked hurt.

"Well…I'm a book okay; I spent close to 30 years in a dark hole with spiders for my only company. Even when I was outside then, my Father was a secretive sort, so I didn't get a chance to explore." 3 sighed and sat Soos down to its side, it then smiled at Dipper, "Then you came along and you started taking me everywhere and I got to experience life; you even gave me a voice. But I wanted more, I didn't want to relay on you all the time, I wanted to experience it as a human, I wanted to walk, touch, and taste. Then it literary dropped into my lap, I knew I should've told you, but I wanted the experience."

Dipper put a hand on 3's back and said, "It's alright 3, I would've done the same thing." He then gave 3 a weak grin, "You know this isn't how I imagined how we'd tell Mabel."

3 laughed, "Yeah me neither. Do you think she'll be mad?"

"Nah, let's get some industrial sprinkles and she'll forgive you."

* * *

><p>3, Dipper, and an unconscious Soos soon returned and found Mabel on his bed, <em>"Hey Dipper! I'm a book!"<em> Mabel said cheerfully.

3 walked over a picked up Mabel and they went back to the room to find a mad house. They saw the shiny, feathered cops, Soos's body, Candy, and Grenda switching bodies all over the place. After some confusion, the twin's managed to get them in the right bodies. 3 and Mabel then returned to normal.

3 then spoke up, _"Umm…Mabel…I'm sorry for kidnapping your body. I just wanted to experience being a human."_ 3 said shamefully.

Mabel grinned and hugged 3 to her chest, "That's okay, I understand! I had a lot of fun when they finished the riot act." Mabel turned to Dipper and said, "Sorry for all the trouble I put you through, it turns out my slumber parties were a little annoying. Besides, I really didn't want the room anyway."

Dipper smiled, "I didn't want the room either, I was just jealous that you've been spending a lot of time with Candy and Grenda. It was just puberty."

"Awkward sibling hug?" Dipper asked, holding out his arms.

"Awkward sibling hug, pat, pat." Mabel then laughed, "Though next time you have a talking book, tell me okay." Keeping the fact that other books can talk a secret for a little revenge.

"I promise."

"_You, know, we got a container of industrial sprinkles as an apology."_ 3 said, Dipper then gave 3 to Mabel to grab the container. Mabel looked at the book and said.

"I forgive you for the body run, but now I know that secret you have."

"_Secret? What secret?"_ 3 said quickly, maybe leaving her with C wasn't its best idea.

"Oh nothing, just that you have a crush on my brother."

"_N-no I don't!"_

Mabel laughed as 3 spluttered. She wasn't mad, but she wasn't above teasing.


	12. Interlude 2

Journal Interlude 2-Or which Mabel annoys 3. Now with unicorns

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk-_3

"_Talk"-_3 talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language

Polls

Girl-4

Boy-2

It-2

* * *

><p>It was a slow day at the Mystery Shack. Wendy was slacking, Soos was doing something, Dipper and Stan had gone to town to 'discover' materials for new attractions. That left 3 and Mabel alone in the twin's room. Mabel was knitting and 3 was chatting with Sunset and C to past the time.<p>

"3!" Mabel yelled, jumping onto Dipper's bed, next to 3. "Look what I made!" She held up a tube of yarn that was a deep fuchsia with gold question marks.

"_Um…thanks…what is it?"_

"Silly! It's your sweater!" She said brightly and forced 3 into its sweater, despite its protests.

"_It's a little tight, Mabel. Though I appreciate the thought, I really don't need it considering I don't have a body."_

"Then it'll be a fashion statement! You'll be the best dressed book ever, Trine"

"_T-Trine!?"_

"Well it's annoying calling you 3, all the time so I'll call you Trine!"

"_Do-Do not rename people's names without their permission!"_

"You don't like it?"

"_No!"_

"How about, Baba? Tigo? Teyr?" Mabel asked.

"_I prefer 3" _It said, irritated.

"So 3, got any weird things in your pages?" She asked after a while.

3 perked up and said, _"Of course! I have entries of the creatures in Gravity Falls."_

"Does it include vampires?"

3 growled, _"Mabel, I've told you fifty times already. Vampires aren't sparkly, love sick, bleeding hearts who are misunderstood. They are merciless killers who will kiss you, then kill you."_

"Oh you don't know that!"

"_Yes I do, I told you this seventy times!"_

"Do you have anything about mermaids? How about elves! Fairies? Or…" She gasped, "Unicorns?"

"_Yes."_

Mabel began shaking 3, yelling, "Unicorns! Take me to the Unicorn's!"

_"I don't know, Mabel. Nothing is ever what it seems…"_

"If you don't take me to the unicorns, then I'll tell Dipper that you like him." 3 spluttered denials, but Mabel kept on smiling until, _"Fine! I'll take you to your dumb horses!"_

Mabel squealed and ran out of room as 3 let out a string of curses out loud that would make a sailor blush. Mabel then ran back into the room with a knap sack and she had a knitted hat that looked like Dipper's only it was pink, had a shooting star on it, and it was made of yarn.

"Let's go find the Unicorn's!" She screeched excitedly and ran off with 3.

* * *

><p>Mabel was later reading a reluctant 3 in the middle of the forest, "Okay, we should find a river and there will be a gigantic x nearby and we will follow huge slashes to the herd of Unicorn's."<p>

"_Mabel, maps don't work that way. You should know, remember Pioneer Day!"_

"Don't be silly, Dipper reads the map."

"_Sigh…Okay, I'll say this slowly, there are no x's or slashes, the x is where you stand, and the slashes represent yards. So you walk in that path and distance."_

"Maps are so complicated."

3 groaned and wished Dipper had taken it with him. Soon Mabel got lost, got pelted with nuts by angry squirrel's, chased by an ogre, nearly killed by singing trees, and nearly mad a deal with the fay. All in all, 3's temper was worn out to the point; it couldn't muster up the temper to scream at Mabel.

"Wow, adventuring is hard. Does Dipper always have these types of problems?" Mabel asked, to 3's surprise, she was as energetic as she was when they started.

"_No. He is careful and at least reads ahead about creatures he may encounter."_ 3 said shortly and exhausted.

"Oh My Gosh! There they are!" Mabel called out suddenly, pointing at silvery white blobs grazing nearby.

"_Finally."_ 3 muttered as Mabel raced through the trees towards the blobs, laughing.

She stopped in the middle of the herd who snorted at her sudden appearance. 3 would've shifted uncomfortably if it could, it didn't like the gleam in their eyes. It reminded 3 of Gompers when it started at 3.

"_H-hey Mabel, I don't think this is a good idea anymore. I remember Dipper saying something about Unicorn's that didn't quite fit the stories about them."_ 3 told Mabel as she approached one. _"L-let me check."_

"_Gravity Falls Unicorn's: White horses with a single horn. They can glow in the dark and are considered to be good fortune. However, like everything in Gravity Falls, there's a dark side. Unicorn's that reside here has a taste for female children…"_ Mabel froze and the Unicorn's started to advance on her, opening their muzzles to reveal razor sharp teeth with glowing eyes.

"_Mabel, RUN!"_

She didn't need to be told twice, she punched the closest one in the face and began running through the forest. They could hear the stampede of Unicorn's bearing down in them. Mabel began reaching into her bag and started throwing things at them. Things such as glitter, Smile Dip, some Pitt soda, and a tennis racket.

"What do we do?!" Mabel screamed as one got close enough to take a bite out of her sweater.

"_I don't know! It's like the gnome's, weaknesses are unknown! My Father never went near these things! It just proves that most farm animals are evil!"_

"My Waddles isn't evil!"

"_I said most!"_ 3 screamed back, but then noticed something, the Unicorn that ate Mabel's sweater began choking then it keeled over, foaming at the mouth; the Unicorn's stopped and looked at their fallen comrade in alarm.

3 glanced at Mabel's sweater and realized, _"Mabel! Yarn and wool are their weakness, it makes them sick!"_ Mabel then grinned darkly, holding up a ball of yarn and her hat threateningly. The Unicorn's backed up a bit in fear, and then snorted angrily.

The Unicorn's started pursuit again, now Mabel was slowing down a bit and shoving yarn down the Unicorn's throat, slowly picking them off until they were gone.

"Woo! We did it we defeated the Uni-Jerk's!"

"_Yeah-we-"_ Their celebrating was called off when the ground started to shake; a Unicorn about the size of the Multi-bear came lumbering in. It glared at them and let out an ear splitting roar that chased all the animal's away and charged them.

They ran once again and realized that they had used up all the yarn with the others; it chased them past the fay, the ogre and the trees, crushing anything in its wake. Finally, Mabel tripped and it leered over her and it opened its mouth to snatch her up.

Mabel screamed, "3, I'm sorry I got us into this mess!"

"_I'm sorry for not remembering in time!"_

"I'm sorry that my sweater for you was too tight!"

"_Wait the sweater! Feed it to the Leader unicorn!"_

Mabel took off 3's sweater and shoved it down the unicorn's throat. The unicorn began to groan and swell up then it burst into flames, leaving nothing but its horn and white sparkle's. 3 and Mabel were thrown clear to the Mystery Shack and landed with an "oomph."

Just as Dipper and Stan returned from their track into town.

"Yesh, what happened to you kid?" Stan asked, carrying fake eyes and fur.

"Nothing Grunkle Stan, just playing with glitter and explosives!"

"As long as you don't do it in the Shack, continue." He said walking in; Dipper walked up and asked, "What the heck happened?"

"Oh you know we fought evil unicorns with my sweaters."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Dipper was adding to 3 while, Mabel reknitted 3's sweater, it was now wine colored with gold hands and the Big Dipper's decorating it. If 3 had eyes, it would be glaring daggers at Mabel. As though she sensed it, she started giggling uncontrollably.<p>

"What a day." She sighed happily. Dipper looked at her and said, "You're telling me, you 2 were nearly eaten alive by unicorns. I hope you learned this as a lesson, Mabel."

"Yeah, yeah, never go on monster hunts without you. So how about we go hunting for mermaids next week!"

"_She didn't learn anything!"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, here's some Mabel and 3 bonding time. Next chapter, the poll will close to decide 3's gender.**


	13. Chapter 11

Journal Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls, Harry Potter, or Attack on Titan

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

"_Talk"_-3 talking or books

Warnings for 3's temper and language

**A/N: Poll is now closed and 3 is now a girl**

* * *

><p>Little Dipper<p>

It was quiet in the Twin's room. Dipper was sprawled on his bed and Mabel was curled up, 3 was dozing when a vision flashed onto its consciousness.

It showed Gideon Gleeful sitting in a dark room muttering to himself, "Zombie Attack? Never Works, they don't take the orders. Blood Rain? EW, mess up my suit, no thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT!" He slammed a blurry book closed, but 3 felt a mixture of anger and agony not its own. "There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on the Pines family. It's not enough to harm them; I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power. Wait, of course!"

Gideon picks up a model of the Mystery Shack made out of Popsicle sticks. "It's perfect..." The vision rippled and 3 'woke' up. _"What was that?"_

* * *

><p>That morning in the Mystery Shack, Dipper, 3, Mabel, and Stan were watching <span>Duck-Tective!<span> When the doorbell rings, Stan left for a bit, then came running back to the den, tore off the painting and took out a bag full of money.

"Aah...uh...which one of these is the trap door?" He yelled, touching the wall, looking for the switch, a well-dressed man came up and said, "Mister Pines. I'm from the Winning house Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!" A cameraman comes in along with two women holding a check for $10,000,000.

"Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!"

"We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!" Dipper said happily

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" _Not possible, but this is way too coincidental from my vision last night. _

"Just sign here for the money." The man said, holding out a contract.

"You bet!" He said signing his name, then Gideon comes through the check as the camera man and women leave.

"Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to lil' ol' me!" He taunted Stan just smirked, "Uh, might wanna take another look there!"

"'The shack is hereby signed over to...SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN'?!" Gideon screamed, angered as Stan laughed in his face.

"How dare you!" He screamed as the twins laughed and 3 growled _how you dare try to steal the stack. This is just like the vision. _

"I am not a threat to be taken lightly! Come here hun, I need your arms." Gideon told the man.

"I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL!" Gideon glared as they walked backwards through the door.

Stan turned to the twins, "Wanna see what else is on TV?"

"Yeah, OK."

"My favorite part's the theme song."

* * *

><p>Later the twins were playing chess while an introspective 3 watched silently.<p>

"Little guy to black space nine!" Mabel called.

"It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!" Dipper said.

"They like it better in here. Don't you babies?" She asked as she made neighing noises. _Does she even know how to play chess?_ 3 thought, mindful of Soos in the room.

"And...Checkmate!" Dipper called._ Great job. _

"What? Boo!"

"O-oh! Dipper wins again!" He added another tally mark to the "Dipper" side of a notebook which keeps track of wins and losses.

Soos suddenly called, "Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar? The lady one?"

"I got it." Dipper called

"Thanks, but Mabel's taller."

"What? No she's not. We're the same height. We've always been." _Aren't you 2 fractural._

"Better check again, dude.

Dipper and Mabel line up to measure height.

"Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you!"

"What?!" Dipper cried in shock. _Girls do grow faster than boys you know._

"Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!"

"Like some kind of alpha-twin!" Soos commented, _once again Soos, you're not helping._

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Mabel started chanting, way too excited by the mm.

"C'mon, guys, nobody even use millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada."

"You know Dipper; I've always wanted a little brother. Who knew I already had one? Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah!"_ You're 5 minutes older, don't push him so much_!

Stan walked in rubbing his eyes, "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!"

Mabel pointed to Dipper, to 3's fury, "I'm taller than Dipper!"

"-by one millimeter!" Dipper defended.

"Hey, hey, don't get... short with your sister." _Oh God not puns._

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think little of him." Mabel joked_, you're going too far! _

"Ha ha! Ya! And, and uh... he's short!" Stan said as he and Mabel dissolved into laughter.

"Dude, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit." Soos tried to placate, but unwittingly made a pun at Dipper's expense.

"Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!" Stan said as they continued to laugh. _At least he's smarter then you put together_ 3 growled wildly as Dipper left in a huff. As they left they made a parting crack.

"SHORT-TERM MEMORY!"

* * *

><p>"Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short!"<p>

"_I know you aren't, girls naturally grow faster than boys, by the time you two are 16 and you'll be towering over her."_ 3 said optimistically.

"Thanks 3, but why did she suddenly start ripping into me? I mean one mm isn't that big of a deal, right?"

"_Dipper, you've known Mabel since you were born, if you can't understand her, I have a snowball's chance at it. And if it makes you feel better, you're taller than me."_

He opened 3 and started looking through its pages, "There's gotta be some way to get taller. Let's see...'Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest.'"

"_Oh, I remember those! I remember Father using those on his supplies whenever he went adventuring."_

"Good enough for me!" Dipper grabbed a bag and went to the forest. They traveled for a bit when 3 spoke up. _"Hey Dipper, something has been bothering me for a while now."_

"What's wrong?"

"_Remember this morning when Gideon tried to steal the Shack? Well, the night before I had…a vision."_

"Vision?"

"_Yeah, I saw Gideon looking through a book I couldn't make out. He was saying some dangerous stuff; I think he might do something drastic in the future."_

"You're right; we'd better watch our backs. But I wonder who sent you the vision?"

"_No idea…"_ He was thinking deeply, what could be connected to 3 so that that would send 3 a vision? Besides what is 3, anyway? As far as he knew, no other books could think. Was 3 some sort of benevolent creature or an ordinary book that became magical from being exposed to the weirdness of Gravity Falls? He was so deep in thought that he tripped over a tree root and rolled off a hill.

"_Are you alright!?"_

"Yeah, I'm-" He looked down and notices tiny deer. "Whoa." A tiny eagle passed under his nose.

"_This is weird." _

"Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective?" The mountain lion growls and pounces. "PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH!" It passes by a purple ray of light and shrinks. The lion runs into his vest and ran around, Dipper laughed from being tickled. "It still hurts, but less!" He chuckled when the tiny lion bit his finger.

_"I want a tiny lion."_

He walked over giant crystals reflecting purple and blue light. A butterfly passed by the purple light and shrinks. It passes the blue and enlarges. "What the heck?" He cuts a crystal off with a Swiss army knife and returned to the shack.

Dipper found a flashlight and attached the crystal to the reflector. He pointed it to a chess piece, "Smaller, bigger." He pointed it too long and the piece smashes through the roof. "Too Big!"

"_Yeah, Father had the same problem, but he used the sun."_

* * *

><p>They found Mabel chatting with Soos Dipper walks up to them and said, "Hey guys, notice anything different about me?" <em>Dipper, they won't notice an extra mm.<em>

"Holy hot sauce! You've grown an extra millimeter!" _Doesn't count, I don't think Soos is human. _3 said, sullen.

"Wh-wh-what?" Mabel spluttered and checked heights.

"What can I say, sis? Growth spurt."

"Yeah, mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper." _No its puberty._

"What? But we're the same height now."

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!"

"Oh yeah? Something tells me I've got another growth spurt coming on right now." He stalked away.

"Don't get carried away"

"I won't." Dipper grows himself taller than Mabel kicks the door open.

"Give it up, Dipper! What happened?" Mabel gasped noticing his height.

"You now, puberty and stuff."

"It doesn't make any sense. Just a second ago you were-" She glanced at 3 sitting innocently on his bed. "WAIT A MINUTE! This is some kind of magicky thing. Isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in this closet, isn't there? ISN'T THERE?" She accused, totally ignoring the giant pawn behind her.

"What? No!"

"You're telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-"

"Fine! Open it!"

Mabel banged open the door to reveal nothing, "An invisible wizard! REALLY Dipper?"

"_I'm sorry Mabel, you're invisible wizard is in another cupboard in another country." _3 couldn't resist that quip.

* * *

><p>Mabel grabbed 3 and started to shake it. "What did he do!?"<p>

"_Calm down. One, it's no fun to just give you the answer; you can't get something for nothing. Two, if you're the so called 'Alpha-Twin' you'll catch up."_ 3 said loftily. At that moment 3 caught something on its awareness. _"Isn't that Gideon being attacked by termites?" _

The twins looked out the window to see Gideon's hair was being eaten by termites and they laughed at his expense.

Mabel still won't let the invisible wizard go, "Does he only respond to incantations? Excpecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wizar-"

"_I believe the spell you're looking for is finite incantatem."_

"It's not a wizard! I grew my self-using this magic flashlight!" He said finally said, fed up.

Mabel turned around and grinned, "Lemme see that thing!" Dipper ran down the stairs with Mabel close behind. She then tackled him off the steps.

They start to fight over the flashlight and make a caterpillar grow larger. The caterpillar crushes a car.

"_Ooh, 140 points!"_

Mabel grabs the flashlight and uses it to make her hand grow bigger, "Ahh!"

"It's okay it can shrink things too." He soothed his sister and used the flashlight to return Mabel's hand back to normal size.

"Normal hand karate chop!" She hits Dipper's hand and takes the flashlight.

"_What's the big idea!?"_

"Hey! "

Mabel uses the flashlight to make his head bigger and hits his head on one of the Shack's pillars. He tackles Mabel and shrinks her head with the flashlight.

"_Now all we have to do is to make her 60 meters tall."_ 3 joked as Mabel attacks Dipper.

"Hey give it back!"

"Never!"

"_Really, this is too much hub-bub about an mm, Mabel!"_ 3 groused.

In the scuffle the flashlight rolls to where Gideon is. They froze and Mabel hopefully asked, not noticing that Gideon had came up next to them.

"Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things."

"Really?"

Gideon started messing with the flash light and shrunk Dipper, Mabel, and 3 as he laughed creepily and shoved them into a jar.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh this is just fantastic."<em> 3 angrily yelled. Gideon ignored their screams and protests as they walked by his father's used car lot and into his home.

Gideon mutters after his cute routine, "Mouth-breathing fools..." He walked by a crazy, grayed haired woman vacuuming the kitchen and sneered, "Mother."

Gideon enters his room and unscrews the jar containing the twins and 3, spilling them out on his dresser.

"You two!" He growled down at them

"What are you going to do with us?" Mabel asked, holding Dipper fearfully.

Gideon laughs sweetly, "Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head- if you agree to be my queen!"

"We live in a democracy! And never!" Mabel screamed angrily at him.

"Maybe you'll change your mind after THIS!" He plucked Mabel off the dresser.

"What are doing to her!?" Dipper screamed.

"_If he hurts her I'll wring his wittle neck!"_

"No! I will fight you until the day I-" He dropped her in a bag of Gummy Koalas.

Mabel started to munch on the candy.

Gideon then turns to Dipper ominously. "As for you, boy..."

"_If you hurt him __**I'LL KILL YOU"**_ 3 said in a scary tone, he turns table a lamp into Dipper's face, "Tell me. How exactly did you come upon this magic item? Hmm? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you... READ about it somewhere?"

Dipper and 3 'looked' at each other and a cold sweat ran down their spines. _It can't be…H-he…knows about me!?_

Dipper glared at him, felling protective, "Lean closer and I'll tell you!" he barked, placing a hand on 3's spine.

"Well don't mind if I-" Dipper pushed the air horn button next to him and it sounded right in his ear. 3 was laughing its ass off.

"AAAAAAAH! Grrrrr! I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW! Steel yourself, Gideon. You can use them. You can use them..." Gideon starts to take calming breaths. Gideon calls Stan and said.

"Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them! This is Gideon, by the way." 3 and the twins could hear Stan's laughter from their places.

"I have them in my possession! You don't believe me? I will text you a photo!" Seconds went by and he screamed in frustration and threw the phone into the wall and almost hit Dipper. When 3 saw it, it felt a frenzied pulse ripple through its pages and it started to physically tremble, much to Dipper's concern.

"Wait. What am I doing? I don't need ransom! I have THIS!" He held up the flashlight, "I'll shrink Stan and take the shack for myself!" He turns to the twins, "You'll be helpless to stop me. And if you step out of line, SMASH!" He pulls the heads off of the Pines dolls and laughs evilly.

Gideon's father suddenly called up, "Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!

Gideon ran down stairs, but not before placing his hamster on the desk. "Guard them, Cheekums. I'm coming!" He ran off for ice-cream.

Dipper takes out 3 and asks worriedly, "3 are you alright?" 3 remained quiet, but if Dipper placed his ear against its binding he could hear it mutter, _"Harm…damage…alone…dark…"_

"What's wrong with 3?" Mabel asked concerned.

"I don't know, but we can't stay here. We have to save Stan and take care of 3!" He picks up a tip and poked the hamster.

"I know!" She puts a Gummy Koala in her sweater's pocket, "I will see you later." "

"Okay, how are we going to do this? Gideon's got magic and, like, a zillion inches on us. On the bright side, at least we're the same height again." Dipper said brightly.

"Actually..."

Dipper found a ruler and measured, "You're still taller? Arrgh! How did this happen?"

"I guess it's another mystery."

"Never mind that, what I want to know is what happened to 3?"

"Maybe its scared Gideon will separate you two."

What Mabel didn't know was how close she was to the truth. 3 was having a mental breakdown. All those years of being alone in the dark had actually made it slightly unstable, but it is fine when surrounded with living beings. However, after the threat of Gideon harming Dipper caused its emotions to spike dangerously. _"Gideon will hurt him."_ 3 thought clearly. _"Damage him…Gideon will force me back into the cubby, alone…in the dark."_ 3 was working itself into a frenzy when another voice cut through the haze and startling it, Mabel, and Dipper.

"_Who's there?" _A male voice boomed.

"We should be asking that!" Dipper yelled looking around. 3 meanwhile got a hold of itself and recognized the voice, "_2! Is that you!?"_ 3 yelled back much to Dipper's, Mabel's, and the voices, 2's surprise.

"_3? What are you doing here!? Don't tell me the little skunk Gideon found you too!"_ 2 asked frantic.

"_No, no, I was found by Dipper! 2 what are you doing here?"_ 3 asked confused.

"_Thank god you weren't found by Gideon. I wasn't as fortunate. I was found in an antique shop and the little troll bought me and used me to gain power."_

"Wait 3, who is this?" Dipper asked confused.

"_Who are you?"_ 2 asked and found an 8 cm boy standing with an 8.2 cm girl with his awareness. _"He's Dipper my…owner. Dipper this is one of my sibling's, Journal 2."_

"_So you're the human who found my little sister." _Wait, 3 is a girl? The twins thought.

"_Dipper! We have to grab 2 and take him with us! We can't leave him with Gideon!"_ 3 pleaded.

"_You will do no such thing! Dipper, take 3 away from here, she needs to be protected! If you run with me, then Gideon will realize you also have one of us and will stop at nothing to obtain both of us! Even stooping down to murder!"_

"_Maybe he won't!"_

"_3 be reasonable! Just for once listen to me, I'll be okay. I've been hiding the more dangerous items from the toad and replacing them with useless things. If anything comes up, I'll send you a message via 3."_

"Wait you were the one responsible for the visions!" Dipper grasped.

"_Yes. Please 3…I'll be okay, I promise."_

"_V-very well."_ 3 said shakily.

Dipper nodded sadly. "We need to figure out to how to safely get down and down the stairs. He looked over to Mabel who was sitting on Cheekums, "Cheekums, to freedom! To freedom! Oh, you're just a big old dummy-dum!"

"_Is she always like this?"_ 2 asked.

"_You have no idea."_

Dipper looked at Gideon's hairbrush, "I have a plan." They constructed a rope made of hair and slid down.

"_Be safe…brother." _

"_You too, sister."_

* * *

><p>They went downstairs and hid in a shoe and watched as Gideon was porking out on a whole tub of cherry ice-cream. He glared at his father and demanded imperiously, "Clean me!" He wipes Gideon's face with a cloth, "Father, could you give widdle old me a ride to the Mystery Shack?" He suddenly turned on the cute act.<p>

"_Talk about bipolar."_ 3 said tiredly, not mustering enough enthusiasm to put force into her snide comments

"Oh, I'd love to, sugar pot, but I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do! I do!" He began to tickle Gideon

"No, no, NO, DON'T TICKLE MEEEE! NO!" He threw a tantrum and the ice cream across the room where it hits a wall, just missing Mrs. Gleeful "NEVER! Never tickle me! What have I told you? What have I told- Look at me. - What have I told you?!"

"Tickling is no laughing matter." He said in a whipped dog way.

"_You don't say."_ 3 said fatigued. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other concerned; maybe the reunion and separation of 3's brother drained her energy.

"There we go." He said patting his head.

"Do you still need a ride?" His father asked hopefully.

"I'll just take the BUS!" He knocks the table over, kicks door open and leaves.

"Precious memories." Gideon's father says in contentment.

"Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming..." His mother muttered to herself.

"Come on!" Dipper called as he led Mabel through the dog door and to the parking lot. "We need to get higher."

"Yeah, especially you, cause you're short."

"_NOWS NOT THE TIME!"_ 3 roared.

"Mabel! Up there." He points at the flying discount dollar, and they climb it to see Gideon and Lazy Susan at a bus stop. A bus drives by and Gideon enters.

"He's heading to shrink Stan!" Dipper called.

"Oh flying discount dollar…if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack." Mabel sighed. Dipper's eyes lit up and pulled out his Swiss Knife, "Maybe it can" He cuts the rope freeing the discount dollar and they start flying away.

The twins cheered and beat Gideon to the Shack and crashed into the totem pole.

* * *

><p>"We're just in time, but how are we going to stop him." A woodpecker starts to peck his head, "Ah shoo ah ha ah!"<p>

"_Leave him alone!" _3 yelled at the bird.

Mabel saw a wire leading to the roof, "Leave that to Mabel."

Gideon walked past them and she dropped the Gummy Koala in his hair, "I'm sorry, gummy friend."

"It's for the greater good." _Must…resist…reference._

"Ugh! One of those infernal Gummy Koalas has gotten into my perfect hair. I can't defeat Stan looking like this." He drops flashlight and walks towards a bath tub to use it as a mirror, takes out the candy from his hair and sprays on hairspray.

"_Quick! Get a match!" _

Dipper and Mabel run towards flashlight and set it up.

"Quick get in front and I'll re-grow you."

"Okay. Wait your gonna grow us back to equal height right?"

"Dipper! That doesn't matter right now."

"Well if it doesn't matter, why don't you just do it? "

"AWWW! Why you acting so weird! Why can't you just except that I'm a little bit taller than you?"

"_Because you keep taunting him about it!"_

"Yeah! You're the one who keeps calling me names and stuff."

"Oh, what? You mean like little-"

"Don't say it!"

Gideon stood over them, "Little Dipper." He picks up Dipper, 3, and Mabel.

"I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your sibling bickering!" He kicks open the door of the Mystery shack. "The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines!" He holds out the flashlight and turns it on and a beam of purple light flashed out and a fez is all that was left.

* * *

><p>"Well, Well Stanford it appears I finally got the best of-"<p>

Soos suddenly crawls out of the fez, "Oh!"

"What?!" Gideon shrieks.

Soos puts his hat back on and looks around, "Alright, something's definitely different here..."

Gideon places Dipper, 3, Mabel, and Soos in a glass jar and shakes them. "Tell me where Stan is!" He screamed.

"Never! You'll never find Stan: on the second door to the left down the hall. Wait, why did I say that?" _Once again Soos, you blew it._

Gideon puts the jar in his suit jacket, "Oh Stanford, I'm coming for ya!" He called as they pounded the jar.

Mabel saw his school ID and sticks out tongue and makes raspberry.

"I guess I Soosed that one up, didn't I?"

"_Yep."_

"Wow, a little voice is echoing in here. You don't think Gideon's suit is haunted do you!?" Soos asked fearfully.

"It's not your fault Soos; I'm the guy who put together that shrink device. I guess it's just you were teasing me like all day. What was that all about?"

Mabel gave him the notebook which keeps track of wins and losses that was full on Dipper's side, but empty on Mabel's. "I guess it's that, you're like, better than me at like everything, and you always rub it in my face... Chess, checkers, ping pong. I guess I finally felt like I was winning at something for once."

"Oh man, now I feel like a big jerk." Dipper said shamefully while 3 tried to console him.

"Don't you mean a little jerk?" They laughed a bit and Dipper said.

"Alright I walked into that one. Are we cool?"

"We're cool." They bumped fists.

Soos held out his hand, "Am I cool?" _Way to ruin the moment._

"You're cool Soos." Mabel said with a fist bump.

"Yes!"

* * *

><p>Gideon walks into the mirror maze and sees multiple Stan's, "Stanford!"<p>

"Oh hi, Gideon, I've been looking for someone to try out my new mirror maze, then again, you're an idiot. That's the end of the sentence." He vanished.

Gideon puts the flashlight in other suit pocket, "You come back here!" He called running deeper into the maze.

"Try and find me, twerp! Ha, ha ha!"

Dipper, 3, Mabel, Soos stacked up in the jar trying to force open the jar.

"Let's get back that flashlight before Gideon gets Stan." They climbed onto the little jerk's back and Dipper saw the flashlight.

"There it is!"

"Woah! His hair's so shiny!" She approaches Gideon's hair.

"_Now's not the time, remember the unicorns!"_

"No! Don't look directly at it!"

Soos jumps on Gideon's neck and starts to make angels in the girth, "His neck is really squishy! Hey look, I'm making fat angels."

"Ew! Termites!" He hits back of neck and Soos falls off.

"Tell my storyyyyy!" He got up fine on the carpet and starts eating a floor chip.

Gideon becomes jumpy and started flashing the shrink ray everywhere, shrinking a moose head in the process as Stan laughed mockingly.

Frustrated, he threw the flashlight and broke a mirror.

"Hey! Watch the merchandise!" Stan called.

Gideon grins evilly and started to smash 6 more mirrors causing Stan to step out of the maze.

"You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean twenty-five, five-hundred. Five-hundred dollars each and you're paying for all of them!" Not to mention 49 years of bad luck.

"Oh contraire. It will be you who pays!" Gideon pointed the flashlight at him.

"Grunkle Stan is doomed!" Mabel yelled.

"Not completely doomed! To his armpit!"

_"Gross! Who knows what's living in there!"_

Dipper pushes Mabel in Gideon's clothing, "Just! Uh! Come on!"

"Woah! What is that thing?!" Stan asked backing up.

"Finally after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now! Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee- Gideon Glee- oh oh oh ah oh oh ah." Gideon started to laugh uncontrollably as Stan looked down confused and a little disturbed.

"Eh. I don't even know how to respond to this." He said as Gideon laughed out of control.

"Look um, kid. I think this rivalry thing is getting to you. Ha, I mean I understand. I'm a formidable foe, what can I say."

"No!" Gideon growled as foam starts to come out of his mouth.

"Hey now come on you'll get me one of these days. Maybe, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it, but first get your issues in order there." Stan said in a chipper voice as Gideon continues to laugh.

Stan looks around then starts to push Gideon with his foot, "Up over the carpet, there we go, around the end table, and out the door." He rolls Gideon down the outdoor door stairs and closes the door. Dipper, 3, and Mabel jump off of Gideon and grabs the flashlight.

"My light!"

Stan sarcastically said, "You're the light of my life too, pal. Whoa, freak show." Stan muttered as he closed the door.

"After you." Dipper graciously asked.

"It's okay; you can go first if you want too. Woah!" She yelped when she returned to normal size,

Mabel re-grows Dipper with flash light and measures height. "Hey, you let me keep my extra millimeter!" She said happily.

"You earned it."

"Aww! Thanks! Little brothe-!"

"Stop it."

"Well I guess we should destroy this thing. You know so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands and junk."

"Seems like the smart thing to do." He gave Mabel the crystal, she was about to smash the crystal when 3 called out, _"Wait Soos! He's still in the carpet!"_

The twin's blushed and ran to regrow Soos.

* * *

><p>Soon, the twins got ready for bed while Stan chased away another Big Winner scam.<p>

"Hey 3 I was wondering…what happened to you back at the Gleeful residence?"

"_I'm not sure myself; I think something just snapped inside me. I guess it was all the stress. But 2 managed to snap me out of it. I hope he's okay with that little monster."_

"Don't worry 3, Gideon won't get his hands on you or the Shack, I'm sure 2 is alright, I mean, he could always send us a vision when necessary." Dipper assured her. He yawned and crawled into bed. "Goodnight Mabel, 3."

"_Goodnight"_

"Ha ha. Good night…" Mabel trailed off and thought back to earlier in the day.

**Flashback: Few hours ago**

While working on making the rope, Mabel took a break and 2 spoke into her mind.

"_You're Mabel, right?"_

"Yep, Senior Dos!"

"_You were in 3's container correct, while she had your body?"_

"Yess…" She said, wondering where this was going.

"_I-I have to warn you. All three of us: 1, myself, and 3. we all have more power than you, your brother, or 3 realize. I just have to say, 3 is the most powerful and dangerous one of all. So powerful, she could go insane without an anchor and could raze cities down if she wished. The only thing keeping her at bay is your brother."_

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"_Don't get me wrong, 3 is harmless now; however, seeing Dipper threatened and nearly injured has set off her warning bells. If something happens, she'll snap. She is the greatest ally and your last enemy you'll ever have."_

"Wait, Dipper has been threatened before! Why hasn't she gone nuts before?"

_"Because it was in a situation where he or yourself would be in time to save him. However, she must of thought it was a truly hopeless situation where Gideon could kill him without a thought or effort and that made caused alarm bells to ring."_

"Why are you telling me this? Why not Dipper?"

"_As I said, as long as Dipper's alright, she'll be calm. However, we can't interfere with that bond without the fear of damaging it. We can't afford the lost in trust. However, someone must be aware of the potential 3 has, now that his being injured is now a possibility; she'll start looking at everything with a grain of salt. I just want to warn you, before she snaps."_

**End Flashback**

Mabel turned to 3 and sighed. Regardless of 3's potential threat, she trusts her. Besides she doesn't need any reason to protect her brother in the first place.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, that took a dark turn. Now we have some of 3's history and Dipper is thinking into 3's origin. **


	14. Chapter 12

Journal 12

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

"_Talk_"- 3 talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language

* * *

><p>Land before swine<p>

"Hey 3? Do you know anything strong enough to rip off a police car roof?" Dipper asked out of the blue.

"_Well…I think any number of creatures in this town could do something so simple."_ 3 answered, confused. _"Why do you ask?"_

Dipper pulled out a file with newspaper clippings detailing a foot print, mining problem, livestock being taken, and a cop car being destroyed. _"Hm…off the top of my entries, I can't think of anything. My Father concentrated on the visible weirdness…excluding the Hide-Behind, but he could hear it stalking him."_

"That's alright, we, that is you, me, and Soos, will find this thing and take its picture and reveal its true face."

"_Not that I'm disagreeing with the plan, but do you think it is…wise to let Soos handle something so…delicate?"_

"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked, curious.

"_Not to sound mean or anything, but Soos does have a habit of Soosing it up. Remember, he is a little clumsy and he did squish that fairy."_

"No problem, I'll be setting the trap, Soos is just the muscle and everything will be fine."

"_If you're sure…" _3 trailed of as Soos slammed open the door.

"Hey, ready little dude?"

"Am I!"

* * *

><p>Dipper, 3, and Soos drive into the forest and stopped at a clearing to set everything up.<p>

"Today's the day, Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission."

Soos was sweating like crazy, "Dude it's an honor. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement! Hoo!" _Gross! TMI, pal!_

"There's something hiding in these woods. Something big enough to rip the roof off a car. If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!" _Yeah! And they'll finally stop calling you paranoid and take you seriously! _

"Yeah we'll get all the babes. You'll be fending off smooches with a stick!" Soos said, playfully nudging Dipper as 3 fumed.

"Ha ha, shut up, man."

"With a stick, dude!" _You mean hatchet. _

Dipper smiled and grabbed some rope, "Here, give me a boost".

Soos and Dipper tied 3 cameras to 3 trees, surrounding a large steak in the middle of the set up. Soos slides down to a branch where Dipper is drinking Pitt Cola.

"Oof! Got it. Is sap supposed to be this sticky?" Soos asked shaking his arms.

"If everything goes according to plan, the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off cameras A, B, and C." It's a great plan!

"And nothing can go wrong. High five!" Soos and Dipper high five but they get stuck

"This was poorly planned..." _You might be right…_

A roar suddenly and a harsh wind rushes by them and the cameras take pictures rapidly. Soos and Dipper look at it and the steak is gone, and the ropes are broken. Dipper and Soos give each other a huge smile

* * *

><p>They came back to the Mystery Shack, passing Mabel who was going into town to get something for Waddles. <em>I swear she will treat that pig better than her future children.<em>

"We did it! It tripped the wire! Somewhere in one of these cameras is a photo of that creature! I'll go develop the film." Dipper called, running up stairs to turn the attic into a dark room.

"I'll go make us victory nachos. Dipper and Soos for life!"

"_Let's hope a camera got an excellent photograph!"_

"C'mon, c'mon! Hmm..." That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C!" He ran over to another picture being developed. The photo starts to appear, "The creature!"

"_It looks like that flying dinosaur!"_

At that moment the door slammed open and Soos yelled, "Who wants victory nachos?"

The picture of the creature fades away and Dipper yelled, "NO!"

"_You Soosed it up, AGAIN!" _3 screamed.

"Dude don't worry .I only ate like a third of them. Half of them. I ate all of them, dude!"

"_Then what was the point of coming in here in the first place!?"_

"Soos! You ruined the picture!" Dipper yelled.

"Huh, oh well, sorry, dude?"

"I can't believe you, man!" He said shoving the picture at him as 3 seethed.

"Sorry, dude. I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement!"

"_THERE ARE NO NACHOS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"_

"Soos, no offense, but you gotta be more careful sometimes. I mean, what are the odds we'll get another picture of..." That moment a large grey-green thing flew past the window and let out a roar that shook the house.

"What was that? It looked like it had something." 3 whispered to Dipper and he and Soos ran downstairs to see Stan looking dazed and red yarn decorating the pine trees nearby.

"Dude, did you see that? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!"

"How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?"_ Cave in with a lot of fish? _

"Did you see it, Mr. Pines? Mr. Pines?" Soos asked a still shocked Stan.

"It- it took him."

"Took what?" Dipper asked, thinking back at what 3 said.

"The pig! It took Waddles!"_ Oh, dear…_

Mabel happens to return at that moment and asked, "What did you say about Waddles? Oh. Woah. Awkward silence. BWAAAAH!" _I think we should start running… _

"What's going on? Why are you standing around are awkwardly... And where's Waddles?" She continued, looking for her precious pig in confusion.

Stan cleared his thought and hid a metal stake behind his back, "The good news is you're getting a puppy!" _Nice way to break it gently._

"What happened?" She asked concerned.

"Well! See, uh, when the uh-" Stan was for once, struck speechless.

"Your pig got eaten by a pterodactyl, bro!" Soos cut in.

"_What is wrong with you!?"_ 3 yelled as Dipper cringed.

"What!? Waddles? Waddles! Oh no, how did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?" She asked, on the verge of tears.

"What? No! I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious. What's a pig?" _Wait, did you put him outside?_

"Then... what happened?" Dipper asked, not believing him and trying to calm his twin down.

"Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room...tenderly nursing him on only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden- a Pterodactyl bursts through the door and roars it grabs Waddles out of my arms! So I said, 'No dice, cowboy!' And I started punching him right in the face! But he played dirty...That really happened! Why? Why couldn't you have taken me!?" Stan made up a story 3 could smell was a lie as he cried crocodile tears.

"_Please, only an idiot would believe that."_

"Oh, Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!" Mabel said as she hugged him with tears coming down her eyes.

"Uh, yeah! I'm a great man, alright."

"You punched the pterodactyl in the face? I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural." Dipper pointed out, agreeing with 3's assessment of the story.

"Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards! Get off my back." Stan shouted guiltily.

"Oh, Waddles." Mabel sobbed looking at a picture.

"That's it. No pterodactyl is gonna messes with MY sister. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!" Dipper called.

"For Mabel!"

"_For Mabel!"_

"But how do we even find the little guy? Also, where is that voice coming from?" Stan asked

Mabel ignored him and pointed at the red yarn from Waddle's half-finished sweater, "We follow that!"

"Yes! Yeah! That's genius!"

"Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool hall, or…Yeah! Let's go... save Woggles!" Stan amended as everyone stared at him.

"Waddles." Mabel corrected.

"Him too."

* * *

><p>They all packed out Soos's truck to go pterodactyl hunting, "All right! That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him!" Soos called as he finished spray painting the truck.<p>

"Ha! It's pterodactyl." Dipper pointed out.

"Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because nobody was alive back in dinosaur days, so uh..." He leans under the car bed to strap the cage to truck and nearly gets run over. "Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there! Wow." _Well, that's not morbid._

"Mabel. We've got to talk. This is a really high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one. I love the guy, but sometimes he messes stuff up." Dipper said to Mabel.

"What? Since when?" The twins stared at each other, silently communicating and Mabel said.

"Let him down easy."

Dipper approached Soos who looked over and said, "This is so great! You and me, bro. Best friends. Fighting and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs..."

Dipper began nervously, "Soos look. I, uh, I've gotta tell you something."

"Okay. But before you do, check out these matching shirts I made for us! Whose this guy right here? You! Totally you, dude. And these rays indicate friendship!"

"_Emotional blackmail, nice…"_

"What was it you were going to tell me again? Does it involve that weird voice that I always here around you and that strange book?"

Dipper couldn't say it and said, "Uh... p-terodactyl here we come! Uh, ha ha..." He laughed nervously.

"Yes!"

"Bros before dinos!"

They got into the car and went into the forest. Dipper sighed and said, "I couldn't do it, 3. I couldn't tell him…"

"_I wouldn't have done it either. As much as I hate his appearing out of nowhere, he really is a good guy who has his heart in the right place, but is just too clumsy."_

"I know that, but we can't afford any more mistakes. This isn't about getting proof or recognition, but Waddle's life is on the line. One false move could lead to Depressed Mabel again."

"_We just to hope he doesn't Soos-up majorly and it'll just be a quick smash and grab."_ 3 said optimistic.

"I hope you're right."

* * *

><p>They follow the red string to an abandoned church, they entered the church and found Old Man McGucket playing a banjo on top of the alter, "Doodly doo do Doo do!"<p>

"Old Man McGucket!?" Mabel asked surprised.

"Howdy, friends!"

"What are YOU doing out here?" Dipper asked.

"You'll never believe me! Now I was doing my hourly hootenanny- Deedly doo ding dang!" He said as he danced_. Good for you…_

"Ugh, this guy." Stan groaned.

"When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!" He pointed to a gaping abyss in front of them.

"Looks kind of hairy down there." Stan said apprehensively.

"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?" Mabel pointed out innocently.

"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh..." He laughed guiltily.

"My! What suspicious laughter!" _I agree with you old man._

"Guys, we're going in."

"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?" McGucket asked as they climbed down into the abyss.

"No thanks."

* * *

><p>McGucket ignored Stan as they climbed down, "So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!"<p>

"_Good for you."_

"You can't take a hint, can you." Stan sighed.

"Nope!"

The rope suddenly jerked and frayed through itself, it then broke, dropping everyone and they landed on an over grown fungus.

"Whoa." Dipper said looking around. They were in an old mine that held a gapping tunnel in front of them surrounded by ancient looking plants as everyone gazed in awe.

"These plants look all Jurrasic-y." Dipper said looking at a strange flower.

"Huh! This little guy smells like battery acid!" Soos said smelling another flower, _how would you know that?_ The plant then coughs acid into his face and he screamed, "Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha ha!"

Mabel looked at a picture of her and Waddles, "Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you."

They walk into a tunnel, pasting by the skeleton of a miner, Dipper held up his lantern to see a T-Rex staring down at them. They screamed for a bit when they saw it but then they looked closer to see it imprisoned in amber.

"They're trapped inside the tree sap! That's how they survived for 65 million years!

"_Wow, tree sap is dangerous"_ 3 commented as they went deeper into the cavern, passing dinosaurs from all eras until Dipper found a hole in the sphere that looked like a pterodactyl.

"Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!" _So it's like maple-flavored ice!_

"Holy moly! Forget the cornicorn; this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurrasic... Sap Hole!" Stan exclaimed, forgetting about Waddles and his guilt.

"Uh, dudes..." Soos said nervously as he pointed at a velociraptor that has worked one single claw out of the sap and is slowly working on a hand.

"Maybe... we should keep moving." Dipper said nervously.

"_I agree…"_

"This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha! I should have put that pig outside ages ago!" Stan unknowingly admitted in his excitement.

"Wait- what did you just say?" Mabel asked shocked, whirling to face Stan.

"Hm? What's that?"

"You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house." She then gasped and frowned at Stan

"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it…" Stan tried to save himself to no avail.

"You put Waddles outside then you lied to me about it! And now thanks to you my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!" She screamed crying in anger and grief with betrayal in her eyes.

"Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!" Stan said forcefully.

"No- that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!" She screamed and turned away from him. _Oh, silent treatment from Mabel, that's worse then screaming_.

"Look, you can't be serious."

"Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!" _Ouch, now you're dead to her. _

"Kid!"

"LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!"

Dipper, 3, McGucket, and Soos was watching the soap opera play out and Soos tried to get them to stop. "Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper! Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn!"

"_Yeah, he's right, all we need to do is to follow the…_" 3 trailed off as Soos wraps yarn into a ball, thus destroying the trail.

"Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh. Which- which cave was it again?"

"_Oh God SOOS!"_

"Arghhh! Soos, you lost the trail!" Dipper screamed, fed up with his friend's clumsiness.

"Hey, come on. We'll find our way, TRUST me."

Soos whacks Dipper playfully on the back, causing the lantern Dipper is holding to fly out of his hands and break.

"_Way to go…You know what…STOP HELPING!"_ 3 snapped at the end of her rope.

"...Sorry, dude."

"Ugh! That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!" Dipper yelled at the shocked Soos.

"Look! -What -what do you mean?"

"I MEAN, this is really important to Mabel, and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined our photograph, and now you got us hopelessly lost!"

"But we're the p-terodactyl bros! I made us the t-shirts!" Soos said, holding up one of his T-shirts.

"It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gigantic!"

"I have a different body type, dude!" Soos said, getting angry also.

"Oh, so it's my fault?" Dipper asked as 3 was simmering. The entire group deteriorated into an argument with 3 and Dipper yelling at Soos, and Mabel ignoring the enraged Stan while McGucket stepped in.

"Hey! Cheer up, fellas! I fixed your lantern!" He exclaimed, holding it up to see something big hovering above him. _Oh…God…_3 thought as everyone started to scream while McGucket looked confused.

He turned around and sees the pterodactyl, "Hmm? Oh. Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises. YEEEEEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!" McGucket screamed, not following his own advice.

The pterodactyl shrieks and starts chasing the gang down the narrow tunnel on all fours. It gets caught for a couple of seconds in a doorway, allowing them to hide behind some oddly-shaped rocks before the pterodactyl comes.

* * *

><p>"Guys, we need a plan to get out of here." Dipper whispered frantically, as the dino tried to sniff them out.<p>

"Okay, okay. How's about Mabel gets Soos a pig costume-" Stan began.

"I like it!"

"...and we use Soos as a human sacrifice!"

"I like it!" Soos and 3 agreed.

"What do you say, Mabel?"

Mabel turns away, still giving him the cold shoulder.

"Ah, come on, you can't stop talking to me forever." Stan complained.

"Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here." Dipper pleaded.

"Oh, what, you want to work with Mabel but not your buddy, Soos?" Soos said offended as they once again dissolved into an argument until they heard Waddle's call.

"Wait, did you hear that?" Mabel shushed as they turned to see Waddles in the nest, unharmed.

"Waddles!" Mabel screamed in joy and ran towards the nest.

"Oh, wait, kid." Soos cried.

"Mabel!" Dipper yelped.

"_You're going near a pterodactyl nest!"_

"Are you nuts?" Stan called after her.

"Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!" Mabel said scathingly ignoring Stan.

"_This isn't the time, Mabel; you're going to get killed over a pig!" _

"Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!" McGucket screamed.

"Mabel, come back here!" Dipper called as they ran across the mining cart track over to the nest.

"Waddles!" Mabel cried in joy as she grabbed her pig.

"Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again!" She sighed as she clutched at Waddles desperately.

Dipper notices the human bones nearby and tremblingly asked, "Uh... Mabel?"

"Shh. You're safe now." She ignored him to comfort Waddles.

"Mabel, quick! We gotta- now we gotta get out of here!" Dipper whispered as Mabel placed Waddles into a baby carrier.

"_Who, knows when the dinosaur will come back!?"_ 3 pleaded as a huge shadow passes overhead and Waddles squeals in terror and runs away into Stan.

"Waddles! Wait!"

"Ah! Get off me, you dumb pig!" Stan yelled as the pterodactyl swoops down at Stan and Waddles.

"Look out!" Dipper cried as everyone screams as the pterodactyl knocks Stan off the mining track and down into a deep chasm filled with prehistoric plants.

"Oh no!"

"Stan!" Dipper and 3 screamed.

"Mr. Pines!"

Stan landed safely on a mushroom and landed in mud as Waddles rolled around. _Phew._

The pterodactyl drops Stan's fez in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Soos, who are crouching terrified in the pterodactyl's nest. They gasp.

"Guys! We gotta save him!" Mabel said desperately. Who, 3 wasn't sure?

"McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?" Dipper asked turning to the old man.

"Do I!?" He rummages around in his hat for a few seconds, "Nope."

Everyone gasps as the solitary pterodactyl egg cracks, falls on its side, and opens to reveal a baby pterodactyl, which makes a squeaking peeping noise.

"Aww!" Mabel cooed

"_It's so cute for a prehistoric monster."_

"Well! Welcome to the world, little feller- AAAAUGH!" McGucket screamed when the baby swallowed him whole as everyone screams.

"_It Leaderaur all over again!"_

* * *

><p>The chick was satisfied with the old man and started to sniff around its nest, ignoring the three humans and books.<p>

"Ah dude! Did he really just eat that prospector guy? That is messed up!" Soos muttered, looking at the twins.

The baby pterodactyl spits out McGucket's hat. Then old man McGucket comes up from the pterodactyl's neck and peeks out from the mouth."

"I'm okay!" He called over. Well that's a relief.

The baby pterodactyl swallows McGucket again. Mabel, Dipper and Soos backs off nervously.

"_I hope Stan and Waddles are alright."_ 3 said nervously.

"What do we do, what do we do!" Dipper asked, looking around for something to save them from the cute monster.

"We have to get in a straight line." Soos declared.

"What?" Dipper asked cynically.

"The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart, that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!"

"_Like a blind spot?"_

"Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-" Dipper asked, doubtful.

"Dude, look. I-I know I've messed up a lot. I could be sort of clumsy and…It's not always as loveable as I think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one!" Soos pleaded with Dipper.

Dipper looks at the baby pterodactyl and looks at Soos. Dipper gives a smile and nods at Soos, deciding to trust him one more time.

"Get behind me, Dudes!"

Dipper, 3, and Mabel stands behind Soos. They move quietly. When the pterodactyl looks at them, they make a straight line. In the pterodactyl's eyes, they are out of its vision."

"It's working!" 3 and Mabel whispered, awed.

They walk on the track, making a line. When the pterodactyl turns it's head, they jump to the other line of the track. After they complete their crossing, the pterodactyl turns its attention to eating stuff. The Pines twins and Soos rest behind the rocks. They all sigh.

"Soos, you did it!" Dipper said happily.

"_Good job! 10/10!"_

A cry of a pterodactyl is heard; they looked over to the Momma-pterodactyl and heard the sound of a fist meeting flesh.

"Was that..?" Dipper began speechlessly and Mabel finished, "Stan?"

They looked on in awe as Stan punches the pterodactyl's eyes and face in with Waddles hanging from the baby carrier Mabel held all day.

"Waddles!" Mabel cried happily.

"He's punching him in the face!"

"_Who would've thought, Stan predicted the future!"_

Stan finished the dino off with a blow to the head and the dino slams into the cliff and fell as Stan climbed up with Waddles wiggling to get to Mabel.

Mabel stares at Stan delighted with Stan's hat.

"Here's your pig, kiddo." He said as he gave her pet.

"Waddles!" She held Waddles closely and looks at him with tears in her eyes, "You saved him for me!"

Stan put his hat back on and said, "Yeah, well. Sometimes you just gotta…LOOK OUT!" He called when he sensed the pterodactyl was climbing up behind them. It even, much to 3's terror, takes a chunk of Dippers vest as he lagged behind a bit. They pasted by the T-rex and the dino clips it slightly but was still after them. They ran though the tunnels and saw the rope they came down from still broken.

"We're trapped!"

Dipper looks around and sees the geyser pumping the rock up. "Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!"

They all climb in the geyser and the pterodactyl is approaching, but the geyser won't pump.

"C'mon…Go, go!" Dipper called desperately as the pterodactyl roars and everyone screams.

"Bros before dinos!" Soos called as he hits the geyser hard and the geyser pumps them up and they land into the building all wet. The building collapses and covers the hole.

"_That…was to close for comfort…"_ 3 said exhausted as Mabel looked at her worriedly, concerned that she was close to snapping. Mabel turned to Stan and said, "I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!"

"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me. And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do."

"That's kind of sappy." Mabel said, making a pun when she noticed him leaning on tree sap.

"W-what? That's how I feel!"

"No, I mean…"

"Oh, yeah." He touches Mabel's face with the hand has sap on it, "Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha." He then realizes he can't take it off, "Uh-oh". He tries to put his hand off from Mabel as they both scream in pain.

They finally got separated and Stan asked, "I might be my hearing aids acting up, but though out our adventure, I could've sworn I heard a little voice talking."

"Must be the wind." Dipper and Mabel said off-handedly.

"Good enough for me!"

* * *

><p>They were driving back to the Shack as Mabel, Waddles and Stan are sleeping in the back with Dipper, 3, and Soos are sitting up in front.<p>

"Check it out!" Dipper said, holding his ruined vest up.

"_Yeah, that was scary, you nearly died."_ 3 whispered up to Dipper, emotionally exhausted.

"That thing destroyed my vest!" He notices a pterodactyl's tooth stuck in it, "Soos, look!"

"A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!"

"Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?

"Pterodactyl bros." They fist bump, "Whoosh! Hey! I pronounced it right that time!"

"Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?" Dipper asked.

"I doubt it."

3 laughed quietly and rested, before a vision flashed to 3. It showed Gideon holding 2 looking at a page with a triangle with a single eye and limbs on it. It ended and 3 whispered.

"_Dinosaurs aren't the problem here."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it, I was going to do Boss Mabel, but another idea dawned on me and I had to get this episode out of the way. I will probably do some of the episodes I skipped over later, but I first have to introduce someone you've all waiting for.**


	15. Chapter 13

Journal 13

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

"_Talk"-_3 talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language. Some violence.

* * *

><p>Dreamscaperers<p>

It was a rainy evening at the Mystery Shack with Dipper, 3, and Mabel was playing Conflict Boat.

"I'm gonna say... B5." Dipper said.

"Miss!" She puts a peg on her board that from 3's awareness looks like a kitten face.

"I don't think you're playing this right."

"_No it's legal...I think…"_

Stan suddenly calls from downstairs, "Kids! Come quick!" They glanced at each other and ran downstairs to find Stan in front of the T.V.

"I need you to laugh at this with me!" He pointed at the T.V. to see Gideon playing a guitar and 'singing.'

"'Who's cute as a button, and always your friend? Lil' G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink!'" _Twerp._

'Lil Gideon!'

"Ugh, Gideon!" Dipper said in disgust at the child star.

"Remember when I wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?" Mabel added.

"He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack."

Wendy appears out of nowhere and rested next to Stan's chair. "One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer." _That's…creepy…_

"_Remember when he tried to kill Dipper, twice."_ 3 said sourly.

Wendy and Stan paused and looked for 3, "Wait, what?"

Soos ignored the invisible person stalking them and said, "And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together."

'Come on down to Lil Gideon's Tent of Telepathy, opening soon at this location.' The commercial showed the Mystery Shack being destroyed and the Tent being built over it.

"Uh, should we be worried about that?" Dipper asked, concerned

3 remembered her vision of Gideon looking at Bill Cipher's page in 2 and shivered, _"I think we should…"_

Stan waved their concerns away and said, "Please, the only way Gideon's taking over the shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed." A crash is heard from upstairs

"You mean like, right now?" Wendy deadpanned.

They raced upstairs to find the little toad crouched in front of the safe typing random codes in.

"Gideon!"

Gideon turns around and smirks, "Well, well, Stanford, my arch-nemesis. We seem to have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains, who is the cat, and who is the-"

"Soos, broom."

"Oh no, not the broom!" Gideon yelped as Stan pushed Gideon away with it and he hisses like a cat at Stan who smacks him twice and out the door.

"You mark my words, Stanford, one day I'm gonna get that combination. And once I steal that deed, you'll never see the Mystery Shack again!"

"Good luck, bucko!" Stan called, closing the door in the face of an angry Gideon.

* * *

><p>Dipper, 3, Mabel, Stan, and Wendy are watching television. With Dipper and Wendy shooting each other with dart guns, looking bored. They were watching an old west show called, <em>Grandpa the Kid.<em>

'I'm tired during the day.'

"I can relate to this." Stan shrugged.

"_That's because you're both old and grouchy."_ 3 whispered to Dipper who chuckled.

"Grunkle Stan, why can't we watch a movie that we'll all enjoy? Dream Boy High! Where love is on your permanent record." Mabel asked, holding up an epilepsy inducing Rom-Com.

"Boo!"

"_I rather chew rusted nails, if I had a body."_

"You'll learn to like it."

A crash is heard from the kitchen and Soos ran in sweating more than usual. "Aaah! Dudes, there's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its 'weird little bat fingers'!"

"Don't worry, I got this under control" He leans back into his armchair, "Dipper, take care of it." He ordered.

"Yes!" Mabel laughed from her place.

"What? Why can't Mabel do it?" Dipper complained.

"_Or you." _

"Cause life isn't fair. Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV."

Dipper frowned and stepped in front of the T.V. "No way, Grunkle Stan! You always make me do dumb chores. I'm putting my foot down this time!" He stamps his foot to make his point.

"I said do it kid. Now!"

The show started to conveniently play showdown music as Stan and Dipper give each other increasingly menacing stares while growling. Stan wins the stare down.

"Okay, I'll do it!" He gave up and walked into the kitchen with 3 and Mabel following.

Dipper picks up a saucepan and spoon on the floor, mumbling, "Stupid chores..."

"Remember, bats are more afraid of you than you are of them."

"_Just open the window and make a lot of noise, it'll fly out."_ 3 said as he entered the kitchen.

Loud screams and crashes come from the kitchen, while kitchen supplies and Dipper's hat are thrown outside.

"_Aah! It's going for your neck! Mabel I've found your vampire, come and claim him!"_ 3 screamed in terror and Dipper crashed.

* * *

><p>After the battle of the kitchen, Soos and Mabel are applying disinfectant to Dipper's wounds while Mabel applies bandages to Dipper's head.<p>

"Ow, ow!"

"Swabbing on disinfectant, doo doo doo..." Soos sang as he treated Dipper.

"Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me? Think about it! The more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely it is I'll have to do it. Why doesn't he pick on you guys?"

"_Wish I knew…"_

"Dipper, Stan's personality is one of life's great mysteries. Like whether or not it's possible to lick your own elbow."

"_It's impossible unless you're boneless."_

"I bet you can't!" Mabel yelled, ignoring 3's comment.

"I bet I can!" He tries to lick elbow and walks away with Mabel following him.

"_Oh don't mind me, I'm just talking to this responsive wall, it at least listens to me."_ 3 pouted as Dipper chuckled.

Dipper then sobered he looked at Stan's picture and said, depressed, "Sometimes I feel like Stan hates me."

"_He doesn't hate you…maybe this is how his father treated him and he's trying to help you?"_ 3 tried to comfort him, not really believing her own explanation. She felt anger at herself for not helping him and Stan for causing Dipper emotional pain.

Stan suddenly yelled, "The sinks clogged. Dipper, get in here and fix it!" Dipper growled and fired a dart at the picture and walked to unclog the sink.

"_We'd better get the plunger."_ 3 said offhandedly. They were half-way though when a sharp cry came from 3, making Dipper paused and ask worriedly, "3! What's wrong!? Is it 2?"

3 couldn't hear him as the scene flashed to Gideon in a forest clearing.

* * *

><p>"You think that combination's safe in your mind, Stanford? We'll see what my new minion has to say about that!" He started to chant, "Triangulum, entangulum. Veneforis dominus mentium. Veneforis videntis omnium!" Gideon started to pant and his eyes glowed blue, "Egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!"<p>

The world started to drain of color and turns black and white, wildlife pauses in midair. And to 3 and 2's horror, a Triangle with a single eye and a top hat appears, Bill Cipher had entered the clearing cackling.

"Oh, oh, Gravity Falls! It is good to be back. Name's Bill Cipher and I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy? I'm just kidding; I know who you are, Gideon!"

"W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?" Gideon stammered afraid.

"Oh, I know lots of things!" His body turned into a hologram with pictures of various cryptic locations. "Lots of things... Hey, look what I can do!" He gestures toward a deer; the deer's teeth then fly into his hand and gave the teeth to Gideon, "Deer teeth! For you, kid!" He said laughing at Gideon's horrified face; 3 would've laughed also, if she wasn't sick with fear.

"You're insane!"

"Sure I am what's your point?" He puts teeth back in deer's mouth and the animal runs away.

"Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe." Gideon demanded.

Bill laughed then paused, "Wait... Stan Pines? You know what, kid? You've convinced me! I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later."

"_Don't! Don't make a deal! Don't trust him!"_ 3 and 2 screamed, but they went unheard.

"Deal!"

Bill's hand lite up in blue fire and he shakes hands with Gideon, "Well, time to invade Stan's mind! This should be fun! Remember; reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye"! He then disappeared and the vision faded and 3 was back in the kitchen with a worried Dipper.

* * *

><p>"3? What's wrong, you went quiet and started to scream. You really had me worried."<p>

"_Never mind that!"_ 3 shouted at Dipper, who was taken aback. _"We have to find Stan. Gideon has done something unforgivably stupid and summoned a powerful demon to invade Stan's mind. How long was I out!?"_

"About 10 minutes." And 3's spine went cold.

"_He could've already invaded, let's go!"_

They found Stan sleeping on his chair, muttering in his sleep.

"Has this demon invaded, yet?" Dipper asked 3.

"_I don't know…"_

Mabel and Soos then run in.

"Dipper! We've gotta help Stan!" Mabel called when she saw him

"She already told me." Dipper said patting 3.

"This evil triangle guy said he's gonna break into Stan's mind and steal the combination to his safe! Also we stopped for snacks on the way here." Soos said, holding up a bag.

"_YOU IDIOT'S, YOU'VE WASTED VALUABLE TIME ON SNACKS WHEN HE COULD'VE CAME HERE AT ANYTIME!?"_ 3 screamed, infuriated, causing Soos and Mabel to leap out of skins in surprise.

"Triangle guy?" He looks into the steaming 3 and said "I feel like I've seen something like this before in the journal...Beware Bill, the most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. Whatever you do, never let him enter your mind." He read and could feel 3 trembling in fear and anger.

Dipper, 3, Mabel, and Soos looked over at Stan and gasped when they saw a shadow of a triangle enter Stan. Stan's eyes started glowing blue and grunts while making random movements.

Dipper whispered, while the others were distracted, "3 is it possible to follow this Bill guy into Stan's mind?"

3 hesitated and said, _"One must simply recite this incantation."_ 3 moved the pages around to the correct one to show him. _"However, it's extremely dangerous, if you don't use enough power; you will only send part of yourself inside and be forever trapped in his mind. Even if you do succeed there is still a chance of being trapped in there."_

"Ugh, this is just great. I spend all day cleaning sinks and fighting bats for Stan and now I have to save him from some crazy brain demon? With the possibility of trapping ourselves in his head!?"

"But if we don't do anything Gideon might steal the shack! Or worse!"

Dipper sighed and said, "Fine. Get ready guys. We're about to journey into the most horrifying, disturbing place any of us have ever been: our uncle's mind." Lightning flashes outside, illuminating the 4.

"You think I can take these Burrito Bites into Stan's brain? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? You know what, I'm just gonna bring them." Soos stated seriously.

* * *

><p>Dipper, Mabel and Soos set a ring of lite candles around the snoozing Stan and they turned off the lights.<p>

"Okay guys, in order to save our uncle, we're gonna have to follow that... dream demon into his mind."

"I wonder what Stan's thinking about right now. I love Soos like a son!" Soos played around with Stan's body.

"Soos! This is serious!" Dipper snapped.

"Sorry!"

"Let's do this."

They all placed their hands on Stan's head and 3 said, _"I will lend you all the power I can spend so we won't lose anyone on the way." _3 offered proudly.

Dipper stared to chant, "Videntus omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus. Inceptus Nolanus overratus. Magister mentium. Magister mentium. Magister mentium!"

As Dipper spoke, his eyes go blue, then Soos', then Mabel's and the candles go out, and after the incantation, there is a blue explosion and the gang is inside Stan's mind. When they entered Stan's mind, 3 felt a sharp tug on her consciousness, then she felt overwhelming pain. _Wh-What's happening!? _3 screamed as she was ripped out of the book and forced into Stan's mind.

* * *

><p>Dipper, Mabel, and Soos find themselves in a dark grey landscape that looked like the Mystery Shack with an overgrown playground surrounding it.<p>

"What the-?" Soos asked, looking around.

"Whoa, this is Stan's mind?" Mabel asked looking around.

"I figured there would be more hot old ladies."

Suddenly, they heard screaming right above them. The stopped and looked around, out of the corner of their eyes, they saw a dark shape fall into some overgrown grass. Soos stood protectively in front of the twins when the grass the figure fell in moved.

They expected a monster; they certainly did not expect a 12 year old girl to stumble out of the brush. The girl was odd looking; she had wine-red hair in a page cut. She had paper white skin and sharp, amber eyes. She had on dark grey jeans with a gold sweat-shirt with a stitched six-fingered hand holding up 3 fingers. She also had a monocle pierced into her right ear.

"_Oooh…My head…"_ She groaned as she stumbled over. Dipper was the first to recognize the voice, he glanced at the Journal in his hands then at the girl and called, "3!?"

3 jerked her head up and said, _"Dipper? What happened? Why do you guys look…around the same height?"_ She looked down and saw that she was in another body. _"Why am I human!?"_

"We don't know 3." Dipper said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"_Maybe…the spell made me a body?"_ 3 asked confused, she hadn't had a body since the carpet incident.

Soos was just confused and accepted that the twins knew the girl who fell into his employer's mind was okay and her walked over to 3, "Hey dude, I'm Soos. Fist bump?" 3 looked at him strangely and awkwardly fist bumped him back. Mabel couldn't contain her excitement any longer and glomped her, squealing.

"_Ah! M-Mabel?"_ 3 asked, not used to contact.

"This is so cool, 3! We can have makeover's, talk about boys, and you know have a chance with you know what." She winked as 3 blushed.

"_W-well, let's get going we need to find Bill Cipher."_ 3 said, breaking out of the choke hold and turning to the group.

Everyone sobers at this and nodded. "Remember everyone; we've got to look out for the triangle guy." Mabel said.

Bill suddenly flashes into existence in front of them, "Yeah, look out for the triangle guy!"

"It's him! It's the guy!"

3 gasped and hid behind Dipper a little, her new heart pounding in fear.

"You leave our uncle's brain alone, you isosceles monster!" Mabel yelled and charged at Bill, but went inside and fell though a few seconds later. "Gotcha! Wait, what?" Mabel asked puzzled.

"Ah, Stan's family, we meet at last! Question Mark, Shooting Star, Pine Tree, I had a hunch I might bump into you!" He causally shoots a hole into Dipper's chest. Both 3 and Dipper screamed and a huge quake rocked them as the world pulsed black for a second.

Bill looked surprised, "Well, well looks like someone has a temper." He looks directly at 3, who was glaring at Mabel who had stuck her hand though Dipper's chest. "Hmm…This is strange…" He floated over to 3, whose hair was covering her face as she held Dipper. "You weren't supposed to appear until later, Hand."

3 looked up and Bill flinched when he saw the look on 3's face and a black aura was surrounding her. He also noticed her finger's sharpening. Bill quickly backed up to the porch as 3 confirmed that Dipper was alright. Though 3 still had the black look on her face and the Dreamscape rippled.

"What do you want with our uncle's mind anyway?" Dipper bravely asked as 3 held him up, worried.

Bill put Hand out of his mind and said, "Oh, just the code to the old man's safe! Inside the shack is a maze of a thousand doors representing your uncle's memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code! I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely."

"_Bah! What would you need with money, Cipher?"_ 3 snarled at the demon.

"Who said anything about money, Hand?"

"You won't be getting anything if we stop you!" Mabel yelled.

"Hah, fat chance! I'm the master of the mind; I even know what you're thinking right now!"

"That's impossible; no one can guess what I'm thinking!" Mabel called.

Suddenly the two teens from the movie Mabel wanted to watch comes into existence.

"Whoa, where are we, bro?" The one with blonde hair asked, looking around.

The blue haired one looked at Mabel and said, "We must be in heaven, because I just saw an angel!"

"_Barf, cheesy B-rated pick up line!"_ 3 snapped, never taking her eyes of Bill and had Dipper's arm in a vice-like grip that had him wincing slightly.

Mabel ignored 3 and hugged the blue one's leg, "I'm never letting go of your leg!"

"You're out of your league, kids. Turn around now before you see something you might regret. Later, suckers!" He crashed through the Mystery Shack wall, ignoring the doorway.

Dipper managed to calm down contrite 3 and rubbed his bruised forearm and said, "We're going in! Mabel, can we leave those guys out there, looking at them - hurts my eyes..." He said, wincing at the colorful anime boys.

"_I like anime and manga, but not this kind."_ 3 said scathingly, glaring at the two eyesores and still running on adrenaline.

"No! They can help us!"

"Totally! Arm throne!" The 2 carries Mabel in their linked arms.

"_Idiot's"_

Soos walked over to Dipper and links his arms, "Dude! Arm throne! Arm thronnne!"

He started to crab walk towards 3 and Dipper, who ran screaming.

* * *

><p>Everyone heads into the shack and looked around in awe.<p>

"Radical!"

"I also think that it's radical!" Xyler agreed with his friend.

A Bat that looked like Stan flew past 3 and Dipper yelling, "No refunds! No refunds! No refunds!" The bat though further in past a door with a claw trying to get out a chained door saying, fears. They went to the very bottom to see a hall labeled memories.

"Whoa, look! All of Stan's memories!" Soos said in wonder, looking around.

"Great. Sure there are plenty of memories of Stan bossing me around, can't wait to see more of that." Dipper groaned as 3 gently patted his back, watching her strength and looked guiltily at his bruise.

"Come on Dipper, we've gotta find the code before Bill does!" Mabel chastised her brother.

"Mabel is talking!" One of anime boys said.

"So rad!"

"_We know she's talking, but we have to find the code, now!"_

"Let's get searching!"

They split up and started to open doors, Dipper find a scene where Stan was in jail in a foreign country.

"Jorge, Rico, you're the two best Colombian prison friends a fellah could make."

"Nope!" He slammed the door. 3 opened another door to see Mabel prepping Stan for his date with Lazy Susan by shaving him.

"_Gross!"_ 3 slammed the door, leaving some cracks in the wall.

Soos opened a door showing Stan as a sales man and Mabel saw Stan's failed date with Lazy Susan.

* * *

><p>Dipper and 3 separate further away from the group opening random doors.<p>

"_Dipper! Come here!"_

Dipper looked into the door and gasped, it showed Stan going through a secret passage behind the vending machine and Stan pulled out a Journal with a 1 stamped on it. 3 slammed the door wide eyed.

"Stan has a Journal!?" Dipper shouted.

"_Y-yeah…he has my eldest brother, 1…"_

"This is weird…if Stan had a Journal, why would he not believe me about the Manotaurs or anything else!?"

3 was in deep thought and said, _"Probably…cause its 1."_

"Why would that matter?"

"_Well, you see the thing is I and 2 are things that had happened and 1 is what would happen."_

"Still not understanding."

3 sighed_, "Okay, I deal with monsters and weird manifestations. 2 deals in summons and recipes to make magical items. 1…well he's a codex that could predict the future."_

"Wait 1 is psychic!?"

"_No, 1 is a graph that detail's things that would happen. Basically he's a timeline of what will happen in Gravity Falls. Here's an example: 1 will have an entry saying the dam will break and the entire town will be flooded with most of the population dead."_

"R-really?"

"_I'm not sure, but his information isn't always concrete. Say Stan wants to see this happen and travel's to the dam, bored he starts skipping stones into the dam. One stone falls into the dam and knocks a convenient heavy duty tarp out of its resting place and it travels to the dam and blocks the weak spot that would've cracked and widened causing the disaster. However, since Stan was aware of it, he had unknowingly caused the factors to shuffle around and unknowingly prevent the death of most of the town."_

"I get it since the dam didn't break, he thought it was wrong and thus a fake…"

"_Yes."_

"But why did he keep it?"

"_I'm not sure…1 was never close with me or 2, he was always in deep thought and when he wasn't he was extremely curt with us, anyway."_

3 and Dipper left the door behind, heads filled with unanswered questions.

* * *

><p>They soon find a door labeled, "Dipper Memories."<p>

"Look, guys! Memories about me!"

"That doesn't seem like a good idea." Soos said nervously.

"_So, it's not a good idea to scrounge around his mind in the first place, but here we are,"_ 3 pointed out.

"I just wanna know what the old guy really thinks of me."

"We already know how Stan feels about us! He loves us! We're great." Mabel said confidently as she left the 2 behind.

"Yeah. Let's just keep moving."

"More moving?

"Yes! I love motion!" Guess who said that?

Dipper and 3 walks a bit forward, but then turns around and runs to the Dipper memories door and enters it.

"Okay. Just a quick peek."

"_Nothing wrong with that."_ 3 agreed.

Dipper walks by the doors. The sound Stan calling Dipper echoes. Dipper walks in front of one of them and opens the door. Inside is a memory of Stan making Dipper chop firewood.

"No buts! Now go and chop that firewood already!" He smacks Dipper's head with a newspaper.

Dipper walks away to chop the firewood as Stan sat down on the outdoor couch.

Memory Soos walks up to Memory Stan, "Dude, Stan, I've been meaning ask you. Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?"

"Look Soos, I'm gonna let you in on something. Wanna know what I really think? The kid's a loser. He's weak! He's another embarrassment! I just wanna' get rid of him."

3 gasped in anger and closed the door and turned to Dipper who looked depressed and betrayed. 3 placed an arm around his shoulders and gently herded him away.

"I-I can't believe it…" He sounded devastated and 3's heart cracked in empathy.

The hallway shook a little and Dipper continued, "I…I guess he really hates me…"

"_Shh…It's alright; Stan is just too blind to appreciate you. He is too blinded by his greed and ego; he probably can't see the 'Pine Tree' for the forest."_ 3 tried to joke using Bill's nickname but failed.

Dipper looked on the verge of tears, hurt that his male authority figure hated him and said, "3, not that I don't appreciate you, but…I need to be alone now…"

3 nodded and left Dipper alone.

* * *

><p>As she walked alone, the floor she walked on started to crack and break as she brought her foot down and the air started to crackle ominously with violet lightning. She didn't even react when Bill flew past her laughing, she did stop when she met up with Mabel, Soos, and the anime boys.<p>

"3! Bill has the code! We have to get it back!" Mabel called, not noticing her mood and lifting her hands, not noticing they had sharpened into claws.

"_Why?"_

"What?"

"_Why should I!? Why should I save him, huh? He works Dipper day and night and all he does in return is to say is that he wants to get rid of him!"_ 3 finally looked up and they stepped back in surprise and fear. Her eyes were now glowing and she had a dark aura hanging around her.

"3, I'm sure that's not true." Mabel said nervously, stepping back thinking, is this 3's snapped form?

"_I saw it with my own eyes in one of his memories, Mabel! He always picked on Dipper and now I know why. Stan hates him!"_ 3 snarled as the area started to shake and rumble

"3, it doesn't matter what you saw. If we don't stop Bill, we'll lose the shack!" Mabel told her desperately

3 laughed bitterly in her face, _"That's easy for you to say! You're not the one who worked to the bone! You're not the on constantly put down by your own uncle and twin! Oh no, you're the perfect uncle's girl is in her own perfect, silly, little world."_ 3 said cruelly, staring right at Mabel.

"_You know what? Not this time, I'm not helping you. For once this is one of Stan's problems neither I, nor Dipper is gonna fix." _

With that, 3 pushed past them and started to search for Dipper, leaving the gob smacked and tearing Mabel behind.

* * *

><p>She walked around a bit and tried to rein in her temper, but the aura still seeped out, she finally found Dipper walking around opening random doors.<p>

She took a deep breath and her features returned to normal and walked up to him.

"_Dipper? Are you feeling better?"_ 3 asked awkwardly.

Dipper sighed and shook his head, "No, but I could use some company right now." He said with a weak smile.

3 smiled and walked with him. _"I ran into your sister."_ 3 began as they looked for an exit.

"Really?"

"_Yeah…I kind of freaked out on her and may have taken some of my anger out on her…"_

Dipper grimaced and asked, "What set you off?"

"_I was still reeling from the stress of a new body, Bill being summoned, and what you're uncle really thought of you. When she told me they lost the code, I just, lost it…I'll have to apologize to her when we see her next, if she'll even talk to me."_

They walked in silence, thinking of their own issues, opening and closing doors, "Ugh! How do we get out of this place?" Dipper groaned, "Exit? Hello?" He opens the door with a memory of him chopping wood.

"Aw, this again?" They groaned.

"He's a loser. He's weak. I just wanna get rid of him."

Dipper looks down and started to close the door.

"Huh, yeah. Those are all things people said about me when I was a boy." Memory Stan continued.

"Huh?" Their heads snapped up and opened the door a little wider.

"It was terrible. I was the biggest wimp on the playground!"

A door of Stan's memory opens behind Dipper and 3. It shows Stan as a kid getting bullied by other kids and running with tears.

"So one summer, my pop signs up me for boxing lessons."

A door of Stan boxing opens. He is getting punched by his opponent and pinned down.

"It was even worse than the school yard!" The younger Stan started to punches his opponent while his father nodded in approval.

"You know, that time I thought my pop was trying to torture me."Another door opens to show Stan at the theater in line.

"But wouldn't you know it? The old man was doing me favor all along!" A teen in the memory tried to steal a purse form behind Stan.

"Give me that bag!"

"Help! My purse! Help!" Young Stan turned around and shouted, "Left hook!" He punches out the teen and the crowd cheers while the girl kisses him.

"You see it? That why I'm hard on Dipper. To toughen him up. So when the world fights, he fights back." Memory Stan finished telling Soos.

"Do you think it's actually working?" Memory Soos asked him, who gestured at Memory Dipper who cleaved the wood in half and cheered.

"I-I did it! Ha ha! Yes!"

"He's really coming along! When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Just…don't ever tell him that. His head is big enough as it is."

"Ha ha, that's true."

Dipper and 3 grins at each other and he put his hand on the memory. Then he accidentally gets in to the memory with 3 tumbling after, facing with Memory Stan.

Memory Stan looks at them then at Memory Dipper and said, "Whoa, kid, what are you doing here? Nice hole in your chest, by the way. Let's fix that up." He snapped his fingers and to Dipper's and 3's surprise, the hole was fixed.

"Wh-what the- How did you do that?" He stammered as 3 poked his fixed chest.

"Word to the wide, kid. We're in the mind! You can do whatever you imagine in here!" To prove his point, he creates a Pitt Cola and drinks it.

"Well how about that." 3 and Dipper smiled sadly, ashamed that they doubted Stan when they heard Soos's and Mabel's scream form outside the memory.

"Oh my gosh, what am I doing? We gotta stop Bill!" Dipper and 3 ran back to the hall and found a gaping hole in the Shack.

* * *

><p>"Where are they!?"<p>

3 looked around a plank of wood nearly beaned her on the head, they glanced up and saw a giant stone Stan head hovering in mid-air and they heard their screams. They floated up to find Mabel and Soos surrounded by a thick, dark mist, struggling helplessly with their eyes closed.

"Bill!" They screamed, floating down.

"_What did you do to them!?"_

"Well, well, looks like Pine Tree and Hand finally decided to come to the party. I was originally going to leave them alone, but they interfered and now my deal with Gideon is now broken."

"Then let them go!" Dipper yelled trying to get to his sister.

"Let me think…NO! They ruined a deal, now they pay the price. I would've let them only experience their nightmares, but since Hand had appeared way too early, I had no time for being elaborate. So I just left them wallow in their insecurity."

The mists around them formed pictures of faceless people tormenting Soos, while for Mabel showed Pacifica picking at her insecurities and, to 3's shame, 3 herself.

"_Why!?"_

"Well, Hand you came way-ahead of schedule and now I have to make sure they don't get any idea's concerning you. Now you two are all alone and powerless!"

"Well, Cipher! You miscalculated, we also have power here!" Dipper yelled

Suddenly, Leaderaur, Multi-bear, and the killer Unicorns appeared into existence and attacked Bill.

They looked at each other and said, "I'll take Soos!"

"_I've got Mabel!"_ 3 rushed towards Mabel an entered the mist.

* * *

><p>It was dark then Pacifica's voice rang in from all directions.<p>

"**That sounds like a fat old lady's name-"**

"**It thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that? People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither-"**

"**I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous-"**

"**Are you always this silly-?"**

"**You really are a sad, dumb little girl-"**

3 wadded though the mist as the voices were getting louder until she found Mabel curled up in Sweater Town, sobbing.

"Mabel!" 3 started to run towards the elder Pine twin and was stopped by a shadow, which turned out to be 3 herself.

"_**Why are you helping this, silly girl?"**_ she asked in a sick parody of her voice. _**"You were right about her, she hasn't learned Dipper's hardships and she's a spoiled brat who gets her way, too often, so why are you helping her?"**_

3 growled and punched her dark copy out and ran towards Mabel.

"_Mabel! Mabel, wake up, this is just Cipher's illusion. None of this is real!"_ 3 yelled, shaking her.

Mabel just whined and shook her head, "No, no. you're right I am selfish, silly little girl living in her own little world!" Mabel shouted as the mist started to pick up speed as the shadow Pacifica's and 3 laughed cruelly.

"_Mabel…Mabel, I was wrong! I shouldn't have said what I've said! I was being unfair and cruel towards you! If anything, I should be trapped in this space not you! You are a beautiful, unique girl who doesn't care what other people think! Pacifica is just a shallow Bimbo who will forever be surrounded by fair-weather friends and brown-nosers while you get true friends like Candy and Grenda!" _

Mabel looked up, tears running down her face and asked, "Y-you really mean it?" 3 smiled and the Pacifica's and dark 3 crumbled away and was replaced with smiling Candy's and Grenda's with happy memories.

The illusion shattered to see Bill shaking off the rest of the Unicorns and Dipper and Soos emerging from their own mist.

"3, thank you…"

"_Don't thank me, if I hadn't said anything, you wouldn't have been vulnerable. Mabel, I'm, really, really, sorry for what I said, I will understand if you never want to speak to me again…" _

Mabel just hugged her and whispered, "It's alright, now I'm not plagued by Pacifica's now, only Candy's and Grenda's."

"_I'm so sorry."_ 3 joked and they laughed as they met up with Dipper.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"_Evil me and Pacifica. You?"_

"Faceless society and an English Bulldog Gentleman."

* * *

><p>Bill finally thrown the last of the Unicorn's off and looked up to see that Soos and Mabel are no longer under his spell, "WHAT?!"<p>

"That's right, Cipher! You no longer have any power over them!" 3 taunted.

Dipper yelled, "Nice bow tie!" and blasted a hole through Bill from laser eyes, making symbolic from when they first met.

"AAHH!"

"Dipper, how did you do that!?" Mabel asked excitedly.

"Guys! We just learned that you can conjure whatever you can conceive in Grunkle Stan's mindscape!"

"_We're godlike in this space and only limited by our imagination!"_

"Huh?"

"Just think of cool fighting stuff and it will happen." Dipper simplified.

"_Like this!"_ 3 called and a mecha came into existence and fired acid missiles into Bill's eye.

"What? Who told you that! Don't listen to –AAAH! MY EYE!" Bill screamed holding his eye.

"Anything? Like have kittens for fists?" Her fists become pink kitten heads and she shoots them to Bill. "Po-pow! P-p-pow! Pow!"

"AAAAAH!"

Mabel giggled as the kittens on her hands start licking her, "Well hello, friends!"

"Anything, huh? Soos love stomach beam stare!" He shoots a question mark from stomach and knocks Bill off.

"_Well that's not disturbing…"_

Bill covers his hole he received from Dipper, "Enough games!" He shouted and fired his own eye laser at them."

"Hamster ball shields activate!" Mabel called as it came into existence around her.

"Activate!" Dipper, 3, and Soos called also, causing the laser to reflect right back.

"_It's over, Bill."_ 3 called as a gigantic Dragon came into existence behind them. It was solid grey, with antlers, torn up wings, and acidic breath. I launched itself into Bill and started to take him apart by biting chunks out of him, roaring as it spat acid in his damaged eye.

"AH! Oh my eye! AAH!"

Mabel resurrects her anime boys next, for the final blow.

"Rise, Xyler! Rise, Craz!" Xyler and Craz rises from her back with musical instruments. They start to play synthesized music.

"No! Synthesized music! It hurts!" Bill screeched, clutching the sides of his eye.

"And now to imagine your worst nightmare! A portal out of Stan's mind!" Dipper declared.

"Out of Stan's mi-ind!" Mabel sang tauntingly.

"Mabel! Everyone, together!"

Dipper, 3, Mabel, Soos, Xyler, and Craz started to concentrate and a hole below Bill appears.

"No, no, no! Enough!" Bill finally screamed and the Dreamscape went pure white. Bill turns from dark red to yellow again, "You know, I've been impressed with you guys. You are more clever than you look. Especially the fat one."

Soos nudged Mabel and whispered, "He's talking about you!"

"So I'm gonna let you kids off the hook. You might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change!"

He made 3's symbol out of blue fire and held it over his head, he then continued, "Until then I'll be watching you! I'LL BE WATCHING YOU..." Bill said ominously as a wheel surrounded by symbols appeared around Bill and he vanished.

"He's gone! We did it! The gang cheers. Soon Dipper, 3, Soos, and Mabel started to flicker. "Stan must be waking up."

Mabel floated over to her dream boys and asked, "Will I ever see you guys again?"

"In your dreams, girl."

"Good one, bro, good one."

* * *

><p>The gang wakes up in the living room.<p>

"We did it!"

"_I'm back in my book."_ 3 stated, conflicted. It was fun having her own body. 3 took stock of her book and found everything was normal, but still felt a little…out of place. _Must be my imagination._ 3 dismissed as Stan woke up.

"What? Did what? What are you all doing here? And why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?" Stan asked, groggily.

"Grunkle Stan! You're okay!" Dipper said happily, giving him a hug that left Stan confused.

"What is this, a hug?"

"Nope! It's a choke hold." He said as he started choking Stan as 3, Soos, and Mabel laughed.

"Not bad, kid. Not bad."

"I'm just glad Gideon didn't get into the safe. I really love this old shack." Mabel said relieved.

"Group hug! No? I never know the right time!" Soos said sadly.

The shack starts to shake.

"Hey, do you guys feel..." Dipper began but was interrupted by an explosion behind the sofa.

Gideon walks through the wreckage clutching the deed, "Oh, I'm sorry, Pines family. Did I wake you?"

"But…we defeated Bill!" Dipper stammered, clutching 3 tightly while she growled.

"Bill failed me! So I switched to plan B, dynamite!"

"What? Bill? Who? What are you guys talking about?" Stan asked confused.

"Spoiler alert, Stanford! I've got the deed! The Mystery Shack belongs to me! So get out of my property!" He spoke in a handheld transceiver, "Daddy? Bring it around the front. "

"Don't worry guys! It's just part of the dream! We're gonna wake up any second now! Right? Right?" Dipper said desperately.

"_I'm sorry Dipper, we failed." _

Bud Gleeful drives a crane with a wrecking ball to the shack and smashes the Mystery Shack's sign as everyone screamed in terror.

"Someone pinch me, dude..." Soos said, disbelievingly as the broken sign falls in front of the gang.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it folks, Dreamscaperers, my longest chapter yet. 3 had a body and Gideon has the Shack (as temping as it was to troll him, it didn't fit with the plot I had in mind) and 1 was introduced. I'd like to thank Channel Jumper and all the reviewers who had given me all of these ideas.**


	16. Chapter 14

Journal 14

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

"_Talk"-_3 talking

Warnings for language, violence, and blood

* * *

><p>Gideon Rises<p>

3 watched Dipper worried. It's been a week since Gideon summoned Bill and stole the deed. Since the Shack was also Stan's home, he and the twins were out in the cold. Luckily Soos had offered to let them live with him. Unfortunately he lived with his Grandmother. Right now Dipper was tossing and turning on the foldout bed with Soos.

Finally, Dipper woke up and muttered, "I just had a horrible dream that Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack, and kicked us out, and we all had to move in with Soos's grandma?"

"That was no dream, dude." Soos said tiredly, from next to him; scaring Dipper into screaming loud enough to scare everyone awake.

Soos's grandmother shushed Dipper politely, "Shh. Por Favor."

"Uh, sorry, Abuelita." Dipper said sheepishly.

"Oh, Soos, your grandma is so adorable! And her skin is old lady soft." Mabel said, touching her face and sighing in contentment.

"_Creepy."_

"Mabel, quit being creepy. The news is finally on." Stan scolded Mabel, turning up the television.

"In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful" The commercial shows a picture of Gideon surrounded by a litter of playful puppies, "has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines" it then shows a picture of Stan in a devil costume.

"That picture's taken out of context."

"_Not to mention slanderous."_

"Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning to do with it?" Shandra asked Gideon

"I have a big announcement to make today, and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face!" The troll said sweetly and winking at the camera.

3 growled as Dipper muttered "I just can't believe Gideon beat us. Normally I'm able to save the day. This is all my fault." He placed his head in both of his hands in shame.

"Don't worry, Dipper. Looks like Mabel's going to have to be the hero of the family now. I'll defeat Gideon with my grappling hook!" She assured Dipper, pulling the grappling hook from somewhere out of her night gown.

"Mabel, no offense, but that grappling hook has literally never helped us once."

"_You've never used it since you got it."_

"Oh yeah? Jelly grab!"

Mabel shoots her grappling hook at a jar of jelly next to Abuelita, causing it to break and splatter jelly on the walls and her.

"_That would've worked better with a suction cup, then a 3 pronged hook." _3 said and would've facepalmed if she still had her dreamscape body.

"I vacuum the walls now." Abuelita pulled out the vacuum and starts vacuuming the walls.

"So you lost the Shack. Look on the bright side, dudes! Now you get to live here with me, Soos! Hey, anyone want to play race cars? They're out of batteries but we can make pretend." Soos said sitting in the corner with an old race track then coughed up some food.

"Would that be a new low if I ate that? Ha ha I'm just kidding, I'm totally eating it!"

"_Once again Soos, TMI."_

"We gotta get the Shack back." Stan sighed.

* * *

><p>That morning, the Pines, Soos, and 3 were dressed in trench coats and fake glasses to pass though security of their former home…<p>

Gideon Gleeful came through a paper ring with his face on it and called, "Hello, Gravity Falls!"

The crowd cheered for the little toad and began talking amongst themselves.

"Gideon is the psychic-est. He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelet!" Lazy Susan gushed.

"Somehow he knew about my horrifying secret birthmark!" Toby remarked.

Manly Dan yelled, "I love that child psychic so much!" And, to 3's pleasure, started to choke the useless cops.

"You're choking me!"

"Grandma, is that you?"

"We're in." Dipper whispered.

"Just gonna say it, I don't know what we're doing here, but I'm loving these fake mustaches."

3 sighed, _"I know you do. But did you really have to tape a fake mustache and glasses to me?"_

"Yes. Yes I did."

"If anyone asks, I'm not Soos." Soos leaned over and indicated his hat that had a sticky note that said, 'Not Soos.'

Gideon continued to talk to the crowd of his adoring morons, I mean, fans.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you... Gideonland!" He said as he pulled the tarp off a model near him to see a self-promoting amusement park that was just plain creepy to 3.

"What?!" The Shack gang cried, aghast.

"We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment. And introducing' our new mascot, Lil' Gideon Jr.!" He revealed Waddles dressed in a Gideon costume.

"_That Gideon has no soul."_ 3 said horrified. _"Why couldn't have been the evil goat?"_

"Boom, he's a pig!"

Mabel stared; shocked that he would do that to her beloved pig, "Waddles! You monster!"

"All right, that's it!" Stan shouted, pulling off his disguise and the rest of the family following him to the stage.

"Listen up, people. Gideon's a fraud! This kid broke in and stole my property!" Stan told the crowd, angrily.

"Arrest him, officers!" Mabel pleaded desperate.

"Yeah!"

"_He's nothing but a fraud!"_

"Such accusations! Mr. Pines, I recall you gave the property to me. Look, here's the deed right here!" He pulls the deed out of his shirt as he says this.

"Well that's all the proof I need to see." Blubs shrugged, uncaring and 3's 'blood' boiled.

"I love you, Lil' Gideon! Sing them funny songs!" Durland shouted.

Gideon snaps his fingers and two burly guards kick the pines family off the stage.

"Hey!"

"_Get your filthy hands off Dipper!"_ 3 screamed in outrage.

"Now get off my property, old man!" Gideon said superiorly as he slaps a Gideon pin on Stan's face.

"I'll show you who the old man is" He growled then yelped as his hearing aid acts up. "Ow, my hearing aid! Ow!" The Pines was carried off stage as Gideon continued to manipulate the town. "Thanks for visiting Gideonland, friends! Don't come back, I don't care for y'all." He taunted as they watched from the chain-linked fence.

Dipper kicked a rock and said, "Don't worry guys. We'll get the shack back somehow."

Wendy then appears next to them and said, "We better."

"Wendy!" Dipper stammered in surprise as 3 groaned quietly.

"If I can't work at the Shack, my dad's gonna force me to move upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp."

"What? You're leaving town? But we need you here!" _Guess it isn't all bad…I mean, at least you get work. _

"Yeah especially Dipper because of his giant crush on-" He trailed off when he saw Dipper and a pair of amber eyes glaring at him.

"...you...calyptus trees! Ha! The kid loves eucalyptus trees! Saved it!" Soos laughed nervously.

"I'll be back later." She sighed and ruffled Dipper's hair to his joy and 3's jealously and walked off.

* * *

><p>They returned sadly to Abuelita's home who was concerned about how to support them, "This is not good. I cannot feed such a big family."<p>

"Where are we gonna stay, Dipper? Where am I gonna put all my sweaters?"

"_You two are probably going back to Piedmont"_ 3 said conflicted. On one hand happy that the twins won't be out in the cold. Nervous for leaving her only home behind and angry because Gideon won and still had her brother.

"What's Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?"

"Mr. Pines will figure something out. He always does."

3 didn't have the heart to mention that Stan was also at the end of his rope and was bald face lying to their parents from the kitchen and they didn't seem to believe him.

"Grunkle Stan, can we order pizza?" Mabel asked and 3 heard a disheartened sigh from the old man.

3 remained silent when she felt 2's sadness from the house and showed her a vision of a terrified Waddles looking for Mabel.

* * *

><p>"You! Back to your corner!" Gideon snarled and 3's heart went out to the little guy.<p>

Bud Gleeful appears with his sad clown painting that Stan stole from somewhere, "I've been meaning to ask you boy. Shouldn't you be celebrating Gideonland instead of sticking your head in that there book all day?"

"Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?" Gideon asked and 3's spine chilled and felt 2's shame and terror.

"It was written many years ago by a brilliant unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find them. Because he knew that if the journals were ever bought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power."

If 3 had eyebrows they would've furrowed, she didn't remember that, maybe she wasn't written yet?

"Codes and maps had led me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!" 3 choked, remembering 1 was still underneath the Shack and 2 sent another pang to her.

"So that's why you wanted the Mystery Shack."

"That's right, father, it's time to begin the search for the other journal!"

* * *

><p>The vision faded and 3 found herself back with the twins, playing with Soos's race car track.<p>

"Go red car!" Mabel called at the immobile cars.

"Go other red car!"

"This would be a lot more fun with batteries."

Soos moves the red car then it bumps the other red car out of its place as Stan enters the room, clearing his throat.

"Kids, we've got to talk. Look I've been thinking and...I can't take care of you anymore. I don't have house or a job, the plan is you're going home. Your bus leaves tomorrow, here are your tickets."

"But Grunkle Stan, you can't give up!" Dipper pleaded, hating to see Stan like this.

"Yeah dude, look at these faces!" Soos said, placing an arm around each twin. "Be cuter Mabel! Your summer depends on it!"

"Look, I lost, okay? The best thing is for you to be with your parents. Sorry kids, Gideon won. Summer's over." He said depressed, placing the tickets on the table and left with Soos following after him.

"Mabel, that's enough. If Stan won't get our home back from Gideon, then we'll have to do it ourselves." Dipper declared.

"Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have something he doesn't."

"3!" He said holding up an embarrassed 3

"A grappling hook!" She said holding up her grappling hook.

Mabel paused and said, "Oh. 3...3!" She cheered

* * *

><p>The next morning, the twins and 3 hid out next to the Mystery Shack hiding in the bushes, "Alright, the bus to take us out of Gravity Falls comes at sundown. If we wanna stay in town we've got to get past those guards, make it through the fence, and get Gideon to hand over that deed."<p>

"Leave that to Mabel. Wa-chaw!" Mabel shoots the grappling hook. It hits a tree branches then ricochets to Dipper. It hits him in the face once, then twice.

"_DIPPER!? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!?" _

"Ah! I can feel my mouth. Now will you admit the grappling hook is useless?"

"Nope!"

"_Forget about the Grappling Hook already!"_

"Ok. What can we use to defeat Gideon? Let's see... Barf fairy?"

"Yeah!"

"_No."_

"Nope. Butternut Squash with a Human Face and Emotions?"

"Yeah!"

"No."

"Nope."

"Whoa, what's this?" Mabel asked, pointing toward a blue print in 3.

"I stared at this page for hours and 3 has no idea what it is. It seems like a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super weapon-"

"BORING! To defeat those guards we need some kind of army." Mabel interrupted.

"...Wait a minute! An army! Mabel, that's it! The gnomes!"

"Uhh..." She nervously tugs her sweater's collar.

"_You can't be serious, Dipper…"_

"Do you two have any better ideas?" The girls reluctantly said no and followed Dipper into the woods where the gnomes lived.

* * *

><p>"I think this is their hiding spot."<p>

"I wonder what Gnomes do out here all alone in the forest."

"_They have squirrel baths."_ The twins looked at 3 strangely. _"I've been in this part of the forest for +30 years; I've heard these kinds of things."_

They shrugged and screamed in disgust when they saw what 3 said, Jeff bathing in squirrels.

"Do do do…Aah! This...this is normal. This is normal for Gnomes. Scrub, scrub." He defended, scrubbing his armpit with a squirrel.

Dipper and Mabel shared a look of disgust and turned back to Jeff.

"Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back. Take five, Chris. You guys keep doing what you're doing. So, changed your mind about marrying me, did ya Mabel?" Jeff asked Mabel with a wink.

"Ew, hardly. We need your help. And seriously, ew!"

"You want our help? After you left me at the alter? No dice!"

"_From what I remember, you were threating to kill her and her brother into marrying you perverts."_

Mabel smiled deviously and in a sweet tone, "But what if we were able to get you a new queen? One even more beautiful than me."

"Her name's Gideon and she has lovely white hair."

"_I like your style."_

"Whoa. Mature woman, huh? Hey Shmebulock, get my cologne!"

"Shmebulock!"

"Is Shmebulock all you can say?" Jeff asked the wild looking gnome.

Shmebulock paused and said sadly, "Shmebulock..."

"_It would've be more funny if he said, 'yes'"_

"It's a deal!" Jeff said as he shakes hands with Dipper.

* * *

><p>Dipper, 3, and Mabel wait outside the Mystery Shack and Gideon comes over.<p>

"Give us the deed to the shack, Gideon, or else." Dipper shouted when the little twerp came into view.

"Am I supposed to say, 'Or else what?'" He mocked.

"Yes, you are supposed to say that. Now!" Mabel yelled

Gideon's two body guards fell to two gnomes in their back and gnomes riding a deer and rabbits smashed though the fence and surround Gideon.

"You're surrounded by an unstoppable gnome army, now give us back our deed and get off our property!" Dipper said yelled.

"And let the marriage ceremony begin!" Jeff called happily.

Gideon sighs and reached into his shirt, "Very well. I suppose this deed belongs to-" He pulls out a dog whistle and blows, causing the gnomes to fall to the ground, clutching their ears in pain.

"Ha! What do you know! Works on gnomes too!" Gideon cackled as he blew a second time.

"Stop! We'll do anything! How can we serve you your majesty! The most beautiful girl we've ever seen!" Jeff groveled, bowing towards Gideon who looked thunderous. _We're screwed._

"I am not a girl!"

"_Could've fooled me."_

"Really? But your skin is so soft. You moisturize, or..." _So that's where Wendy's moisturizer went! _

Gideon pointed at 3, Dipper, and Mabel, "Subdue them!"

The gnomes grunted and charged at Dipper and Mabel.

"I have to admit, kids, I am impressed by your creativity! How did you ever…"

Dipper struggled frantic and yelled, "Let go!" To Mabel's, Dipper's and 3's horror, 3 fell out of Dippers pocket, "Oh no!"

"_Dipper!"_

"No! Could it be? Is it?" Gideon runs up to Journal 3 and picks her up.

"_**Take your filthy hands off me!"**_ 3 whispered and the gnomes shuddered in fear, looking around anxiously as Dipper struggled to get to 3.

Gideon ignored the voice and tension, overwhelmed with giddiness. "Of course! It all makes sense! The one place I'd never think to look! You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!" Gideon said tauntingly, flicking his nose smugly.

"No! Give her- I mean, it back!" Dipper quickly amended, not wanting Gideon to know that the Journals are alive and tried to reach her.

"Every victory you had was because of your precious book!"

"Give her-it back or I'll-"

"Or you'll what, boy? You'll what? Huh? Huh? No muscles. No brains. Face it! You're nothing without this!" He said superiorly, waving the ominously quiet 3 around. "Bye bye forever, y'all!" He whistles once more, and the gnomes carry Dipper and Mabel away.

"No!" 3 looked on passively as her owner and his sister was carried away. Gideon laughed all the way back into the Shack but froze when he heard a voice.

"_**Gideon Charles Gleeful…your downfall and death will occur very soon. Your stupidly thought out actions will now cost you everything you've acquired."**_ The shadowy voice echoed ominously throughout the room.

Gideon tried to shake off the voice but he could now feel invisible eyes burning into him from all corners of the Shack and he fled upstairs.

2 meanwhile shuddered, he knew…he knew 3 will soon truly snap and he prayed that the entire West Coast was still standing when she finally calmed down or that Dipper will reunite with her. Because, he was the only thing standing between her and death for all who lived here.

3 was still silent when Gideon placed her on his work table and fled, trying to escape the feeling of the Grim Reaper himself was looking down on him. 3's pages were now pulsing threateningly and her awareness extended to engulf the entire town to find her owner looking disheartened.

* * *

><p>"Well, that's it. Guess the bus should be here soon." Dipper said sadly, making circles in the dirt.<p>

"What? Dipper, don't give up! You always have a plan!" Mabel tried.

"No! The 3 always has a plan! Think about it, Mabel, Gideon was right. The only courageous or cool things I've ever done have been because 3 was with me. Without her, I can't help you, or 3, or Stan, or anyone. She was the one who lead me throughout our summer and now because of me, she's now Gideon's captive!"

"There's gotta be something we can do? We can save her, right?" Mabel asked quietly.

"What can we do? Face it, without 3, I'm nothing…" Mabel looked away, hoping for a miracle. 3 watched as Dipper and Mabel packed sadly and soon went to the bus station with Grunkle Stan and 3 pulsed even quicker. 2 shuddered from his place and knew the moment crossed the Gravity Falls line, all hell will break loose.

"Bus fifty-two, departing Gravity Falls, all aboard." Dipper and Mabel walk to the back of the bus and look out the window to see Stan

"Sorry kids, it's for the best."

The bus leaves with Wendy, Grunkle Stan, Grenda and Candy outside the window upset and waving at Dipper and Mabel as the bus departs and the pulse started to become more and more chaotic.

"Can't believe this is happening."

* * *

><p>Gideon giggled, finally forgetting his fear, "I've got it! I finally got it!" He yelled at his parents, "Get out!"<p>

"It's finally mine! At last, I have journal number…Three?! There are THREE of them? But where is journal number one? I must have all three for the power to be unlocked! But where could I- Dipper! He must know where it is! He gave me the third one and kept the first for himself!" He ripped out a chunk of his hair.

"I can't let him leave Gravity Falls!" He grabs the anxious 2 and pulsing 3 and runs out of the Mystery Shack, "You there!" He pointed at Old Man McGucket working on the giant Gideon, "Is it ready?"

"He he he! Only one way to find out!" He pulls a lever on Gideon-Bot and the robot glows.

Gideon runs inside the robot and is in his motion-sensor suit, he then punches his right hand, and the robot pushes the Gideonland sign into the ground. The Gideon-Bot walks away.

"I've got a good feeling about that kid!"

3 watched as Gideon chased Dipper's bus and yelled, "Halt! I command you to halt!" Gideon-bot blocks the way with its hand. Soos turns the bus and smashes through a "Road Closed" sign. The Gideon-bot starts to climb up the mountain.

"He already won! What does he want from us?" 3 could here Dipper scream and calmed a bit from being near him.

"I got you in my sight!"

"Soos, cliff!"

Soos breaks the bus right before the bus falls off the cliff. The wheel of the bus is not on the cliff so it can't move. The Gideon-bot comes right after and shakes the bus and tears off the ceiling of it, revealing there is only Soos.

"_**This is familiar."**_

"Okay. What's closest to our present situation Raccoon in the engine or angry grandparents won't leave bus? Proba-probably the second one."

The Gideon-bot turns itself finding the Pines twins on the bridge. The Pines twins runs but soon finds that the bridge had dead ends. The Gideon-bot jumps on the bridge.

"Tell me! Where is Journal 1?" Gideon yelled at Dipper

Dipper and Mabel asked, "Journal 1?" Though Dipper couldn't help but feel relief that Gideon hadn't found 1 sleeping in the secret passage way.

"Don't play games with me, boy!"

The Gideon-bot drives the twins to the end and punches the cliff, causing rocks to fall on the twins and 3 was now glowing, not that Gideon noticed.

"I don't know what you're talking about! You took the only journal I ever had! What do you even want with these journals anyway?" Dipper yelled back, lying through his teeth.

The Gideon-bot takes the twins as they both pounded on the metallic fists.

"Let go of her!"

"Ha ha ha, you still think you're some kind of hero?" Gideon taunted and threw Dipper onto another cliff and 3 went still when she saw blood leak from his nose and a soft mist started to flow out of its cover.

"Once I find the final journal I'll rule this town! With you as my queen!" Gideon laughed turning away.

"Dipper! Help me! HELP!"

"Gideon…"

* * *

><p>Dipper sadly walks to the forest. But then, Dipper runs and jumps off the cliff breaking in the Gideon-bot, tackling Gideon. And glared down at him and said in a calm voice, "Give me back 3 and let go of my sister." He then punched Gideon in the jaw and straddled him, raining blows onto the demonic 9-year old.<p>

"Never! I finally won this time! "

Gideon then tackles Dipper and punches him. Dipper stands up and blocks Gideon's punch. Then he makes Gideon's fist to punch himself. Then Dipper makes him punch a little stronger which makes Gideon to fall to the ground. Dipper got up and smirked, he turned away from Gideon to the broken eye to grab Mabel, not noticing that Gideon had gotten up and taken out a dagger from his suit.

3 looked over and screamed, _"Dipper get out of the way!" _

Dipper whirled just in time for Gideon to stab him in the abdomen. Everyone froze, disbelieving at what occurred; Gideon then grinned maliciously and growled, "You should've just left it alone, boy." He twisted the dagger and ripped it out of Dipper who shrieked in pain and fell to the ground.

"DIPPER!" 3 and Mabel screamed in horror and the blood splattered onto 3's cover.

"I win this time, boy." He raises the dagger again to strike Dipper's heart when an enraged banshee scream echoed around the room and an oppressive aura hung in the air.

"_**You…Hurt…Him…"**_ A voice of pure insanity, ice-cold fury, and loathing echoed across the area. A harsh wind filled the cockpit and the sky darkened to a blood red. Dipper blinked away tears of pain and saw a figure standing behind Gideon raising razor sharp claws and swiped at his head

"Wha!" Gideon screamed and scrambled away, nearly getting decapitated. The figure walked slowly forward and into the fading sunlight. Dipper's eyes widened, it was 3, but not in her Dreamscape body. 3 was now as tall as Wendy and her hair is now hip length and messy; her eyes were blood red and her skin was yellow and seemed to made out of rolled up paper. Her face was set in a Cheshire smile that extended to the sides of her ears and her fingers were now floor length blades. **(A/N: Picture a Witch from Left 4 Dead with a Titan smile.)**

"Wh-What are you!" Gideon stammered, backing away clutching the dagger to his chest in fear.

3 snarled at Gideon and spoke in a chilling voice, _**"Your Death."**_ And lunged, wrapping her claws around Gideon's neck, her claws leaving paper cuts in the boys neck as she choked him. Gideon turned his dagger on her and clipped the side of her face, ink spattering across the room. Gideon pressed her back, slicing the side of her hip, causing more ink to well up. She backed up, backhanded him and his hand, forcing him to drop the dagger covered in ink and blood. She then swiped his face, leaving 4 thin trails of blood across Gideon's cherubic face.

He screamed and grabbed his face, curling into the ball in the corner of the room. 3 spat out a blob of ink and advanced on the fallen megalomaniac, raising her talons for the final strike when Dipper lurched in front of Gideon, blocking him from 3.

"_**Out of the way Dipper."**_ 3 said coldly, never taking her eyes off the weeping Gideon.

Dipper flinched at her tone but stared into her glowing eyes defiantly. "You won. You don't need to kill him."

She hissed in anger, _**"Bullshit! He was kidnapping your sister and was going to kill you and sleep like a baby! Why should I show him mercy!?"**_

Dipper took a deep breath; it wouldn't help to pass out from blood loss now, "Because you're better." Dipper gave her a weak smile as his vision became blurry, "If you kill him, then he will win in the end. He will win by forcing you to give up your humanity and morality just for him. Besides, I think the loss of his looks is punishment enough, we also need to know where he…hid…2…and the deeee…" Dipper trailed off as he collapse breathing shallowly, still clutching his bleeding side.

She stared down at Dipper and let out a feral scream of frustration and destroyed a machine nearby. She sighed in defeat and gently picked Dipper up, minding her claws; she tore off some of her clothing and bandaged the wound. _**"Damn it." **_She sighed again and patted his hair. _"You're too compassionate for you own good."_

"Dipper!? 3, is Dipper okay!?" Mabel yelled, clambering into the cockpit and gasped when she saw the now calm 3 holding a bleeding Dipper. "What happened!?"

"_Gideon stabbed him. I sliced his face and nearly killed him if Dipper hadn't gotten in the way." _3 said, puffing out a breath in annoyance.

Mabel touched her brother's clammy skin and looked at 3. "Did you snap?"

"_Yes. And I would do it again if it meant his safety, did 2 tell you?"_

Mabel was about to reply when the bot jerked.

"Wha-?"

The bot shook and they separated as the robot fell of the bridge. Mabel and 3 could dimly hear Soos screaming and the robot fell off the bridge. 3 quickly separated her body into pages and created a protective cocoon around Dipper and Mabel managed to use her grappling hook to safely lower herself to the ground and clearing away from the explosion.

* * *

><p>The bot falls on the ground and it causes an explosion big enough for everyone in the town to see. The Gideon-bot is broken, and its pieces are all around.<p>

"GRAPPING HOOK! Mabel quickly released the hook and started to delve through the wreckage, confident 3 protected her brother as everyone from town appeared with cameras. The cops come and lots of people started to gather around.

"Is this the thing that exploded?"

"What's going on?"

"What is that? It's over here!" They murmured as they gathered around as Gideon climbed weakly from the wreckage.

Deputy Durland ran towards the tike and lifted him from the debris. "Gideon! Oh, good heavens! What on earth happened here? What happened to your face?"

Gideon pointed at Mabel, "It was the Pines twins! They attacked me and blew up my statue with dynamite! They had one of their teenaged friends cut me because they were jealous! Arrest them!"

"What!? Officers, he's lying!" Mabel pleaded.

"Sorry kids, but we trust Gideon. And nothing short of a miracle would ever change our-" Blubs was interrupted when Stan appeared in his car screaming.

"Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I've got something to say!"

"Not this guy again."

"Just wait! Look! You guys all think Gideon is so perfect and honest, 'Oh! I could never tell a lie! I'm Gideon!'"

"He's more honest than you!"

"Yeah! And he's psychic too!"

"How's this for psychic? Bam!" He kicks the Gideon-bot and a panel falls off to show a secret room with TV's showing everyone in Gravity Falls. "Take a good look!"

"Wait a minute, is that ME?" Lazy Susan gasped looking at a screen that was saying, "The secret ingredient to my coffee omelet is coffee!"

"And me!" Toby yelled as the Doctor said, "I can verify that that birth mark is indeed disgusting." As the Toby on screen cheered. The crowd pointed in horror as they identified themselves on random screens.

"That's right, these pins are hidden cameras! And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who's the fraud now?" He declared breaking the pin to reveal that there was a camera in the eye of it.

The people all threw away the pins and looks at the bleeding and sweating Gideon.

"Gideon, we gave you our trust..." Durland said in a betrayed voice.

"You LIED to us!" Manly Dan yelled.

"Please, I... It's not what it looks like... What are you gonna do with me?"

"Tyler?" Durland asked, looking at the man who usually hung out with Dan, he looked heartbroken and crying and he said.

"Get him…Get him!"

"Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts."

"_Don't forget 3 counts of attempted murder and kidnapping of the Pines twins." _Everyone gasped and looked up to see 3, in her 12 year old form, carrying the barely awake Dipper from the wreck.

"Dipper!" Mabel and Stan yelled, rushing towards the human book, gently setting Dipper down on a piece of rubble so that the doctor could look at his wound.

"I can verify that is indeed a stab wound, any higher..." He said gravely.

The townspeople were now looking at Gideon in horror and disgust as 3 held up the dagger Gideon used. "Gideon Gleeful used this dagger on Dipper Pines and scratched myself with it when we tried to prevent his sister's abduction."

"W-wait…s-she's lying! I was defending myself! He was beating me and she was never there! It was-wait! You were the demon cut up my face!"

"_Such accusations, Gideon!" _3 said with a sharks smile. _"Why, I recall you saying the Pines twins said they blew up the statue with dynamite and a _teenager_ cut you up, not a so called demon."_

Blubs was now glaring at Gideon and said in a tight voice, "Durland, the tiny handcuffs."

"Wha- no! Let go of me! Ow! Ow! Ow! She's a demon! A living book! You have to believe me!"

"I believe this belongs to me." Stan said, shaking down Gideon as 2 and the deed fell out of his suit.

"No! No! Watch the hair! You can't do this to me! You're all are sheep! You need me! I'll be back! You'll hear from my lawyers!

Shandra Jimenez spoke into the camera and said, "There you have it. Local hero Stanford Pines and this mysterious young girl have just exposed Lil Gideon as a fraud. Anything you have to say to the town, Stanford?"

"The Mystery Shack is back, baby!"

Shandra turned to 3 and stuck her microphone out, "And who are you Miss? How did you get involved with this investigation? And what's your relation to the Pines family?"

"_I…err…"_

"She's up incoming child detective, Polaris Dirgel! Me and Dipper told her about Gideon and she offered to help! Here's her ID!" Mabel said, shoving a surprisingly well-made fake ID into the camera.

"There you go! The fake child psychic Gideon Gleeful was defeated by the Pines and child detective, Miss Dirgel."

* * *

><p>Soon the Pines with 3 or <em>Polaris,<em> returned to the Shack, destroying anything remotely Gideon. Mabel even threw Waddle's Gideon Jr. costume in the fireplace as 3 helped Dipper unpack so he doesn't aggravate his stitches.

"Wow what a week." Dipper sighed as he leaned back on the bed.

"You're telling me." Mabel sighed contently.

Dipper turned to 3 and asked, "So…are you going to tell me how you got a body? Or what happened back there?"

3 blushed and said, "Right…I think when we did the dream entering spell recently, it helped displace my consciousness enough for me to create a new body when stressed enough and when Dipper's blood splattered onto my cover." 3 said looking at the bulge of his bandages. "I still can't believe that little toad stabbed you."

"Yeah, but you turned out to be the better man." Dipper said with a wink and playfully punching her shoulder. She grinned and punched back, which made him hiss. "Ow, a little too hard, _Polaris._" He turned to Mabel and asked, "What was with that, anyway?"

Mabel grinned and said, "Well since 3 now has a body, I figured she needed a good disguise so no one will question us when we hang out together. Polaris Dirgel happened to be the only fake ID on me at the time. I even have Debby Misty, Cassdra Mystrium, and Missy Mystery."

"_I think I'll keep Polaris Dirgel."_ 3 said laughing; she then grew serious and said, _"I'm more concerned about Stan and my brothers."_

The twins sobered and Mabel asked, "What's with them?"

Dipper looked guilty and said, "Oh, yeah. We forgot to tell you during the craziness of Gideon taking over. Back in Stan's mind we saw that Stan had Journal 1 and had a secret passage behind the vending machine."

"_Yeah, and Stan took 2 when we were concentrating on Dipper's wound."_ 3 continued as Mabel widened her eyes.

"What do we do?"

"Well we can't let Stan have the Journal's. As much as I don't like it, we can't let him control 3's brothers. We somehow have to steal them from under his nose and hide them." Dipper declared, wincing as his stitches complained. "But how…?"

The three were in deep though until 3 sighed. _"It can't be helped. We'll have to reveal myself to him."_

"What, no!"

"He can't know about you being alive, 3!"

"_No, I'll turn back into a book and he will take me to my brother's and do whatever it is he's after and when he's away, I'll grab them and use the copier upstairs and replace them. He'll never now."_

After a few more minutes of arguing, the twins conceded and 3 returned to being a book; just in time to, Stan opened the door.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel said cheerily, faking her obviousness.

Stan looked around. "Where'd that Polaris girl go? I didn't see her leave."

"She was running late and she left through the window." Dipper said, shrugging carefully.

"Huh, weird girl. So uh, anyway how are you kiddos settling back in?"

"Yep! All of my favorite moldy spots on the ceiling are still there! Even you, Daryl."

"Hey, Grunkle Stan, me and Mabel have been talking, And I think there's something we should finally tell you." He said, pulling out the tense 3.

"This is a journal I found in the woods. It talks about all the crazy stuff that goes on in Gravity Falls. Gideon nearly destroyed the whole town trying to find it. I don't know what it means, or who wrote it. But, after all we've been through, maybe you should finally know about it." Dipper said as he handed her to Stan to look through.

Stan solemnly closes the book and burst out laughing, "I'm glad you showed me this, Dipper... AHAHAHA! Now I know where you've been getting it all from! Spookums and monsters. This kooky book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies!"

"But it's all real!" Dipper said genuinely insulted.

"Ha-ha. You gotta quit reading' this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Although some of these would make great attractions! Can't come up with this stuff! Mind if I borrow this?" Stan left with 3, just as they planned and Dipper turned to a worried Mabel.

"I hope this works."

* * *

><p>That night, when the twins were asleep, Stan enters a code to enter the doorway behind the vending machine. He climbs down a set of stairs to an elevator. He opens panel besides the elevator and inputs alchemical symbols that 3 didn't know and went down to the 3rd floor, <em>well that's ironic.<em> 3 thought as they descended in the elevator

Stan exits into a room filled with complex looking machines and sensors. He walks past them to a desk and switchboard. He opens the desk and pulls out a book, revealing it to be Journal 1.

"After all these years."

Stan sets down 1, 2, and 3. Onto the table next to him.

"Finally we have them all." _'We?_' 3 and 2 asked silently while 1 remained quiet, though he did pulse to acknowledge them.

Stan puts together Journals 1, 2, and 3, revealing a complex image algorithm. He confers it as he presses buttons and switches. A machine beyond the glass of the switchboard lights up.

"It's working!"

3 and 2 watched as Stan rushes to the room with the machine and pushes a large lever in front of it. The machine crackles with large bursts of electricity sending beams of light in every direction, and finally turns on completely; a bright, white light emanating from its central hole, blowing a steady stream of air at Stan. Stan stands proudly in front of it. His hands on his hips, and smiles in satisfaction."

"Here we go."

_What are you up to Grunkle Stan?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well that was slightly violent. 3 now has a semi-permeant body, reunited with her brother's, snapped, and now is a child detective. Now she will interact more with the town.**


	17. Chapter 15

Journal 15

Disclaimer-I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk-_3 thinking

"_Talk"-_3 talking

_**Talk**_-singing

Warnings for 3's temper and language

**A/N: Thank you all for the support for the last chapter. For those of you are curious about 3's human name, it is a bit of a pun. Polaris is known as the "North Star" that guide's traveler's to their destinations and since Dipper found 3, she's been guiding him though out the summer. Also, two stars from the Big Dipper can lead you to Polaris's location. Dirgel is Welsh for mystery and pronounced 'deer gal' and if you've seen Monster Falls, Dipper is usually a fawn.**

* * *

><p>Scaryoke<p>

1, 2, and 3 watched silently as Stan adjusted the portal so it wouldn't shake the home too much. _1, 2? Do you know what the hell is going on?_ 3 asked her siblings. _I vaguely recall something similar occurred years ago, but my memory isn't as it once was,_ 2 replied. 1 just remained quiet.

Stan looked proudly at the portal, "Thirty long years and it's all let up to this. My greatest achievement! …Probably should've worn pants."

3 cringed a bit when the machine spouts out some fire that hits Stan in the shoulder and he pats himself on his shoulder to get rid of the fire, "Feisty." He said smiling. "I like it."

He starts flipping switches and looks at readouts. "If I finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it. I just have to keep playing it cool, if anyone finds out about this..."

He looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel he has. "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?" He shrugged it off as he pulls on a glove and pulls a switch labeled Max.

Stan while the machine powers up, he picked up 3 and went to his office to clone 3 to pass the fake one off to Dipper with the only witness of Waddles

"You didn't see nothing!" He went back to the basement and 3 waited until he fell into a deep sleep, then transformed into a human, much to her brother's surprise.

"_This is new."_ 2 said shocked and they could feel 1's conscious on over drive, trying to work the new variable into his predictions. 3 grinned and grabbed them, sneaking away while Stan grunted in his sleep. She quickly photocopied them and snuck into the twin's room to store the amused 2 and impassive 1 under Dipper's bed. She returned to the passage and placed the fake Journal's on the table and waited for the alarm clock to wake him up.

Stan jolted awake and remembered, "Oh right. Showtime."

* * *

><p>He placed 3 under a cooler and waited for the twins to wake up and the crowd to come to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack<p>

At noon, the Pines family was having a small press conference in the Shack and Stan announced

"Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" The crowd cheered. "We're here to celebrate we defeated that skunk Lil Gideon!" He grinned as he pulled out a left over Lil Gideon doll.

"Boo!"

"Please, please. Boo harder!"

"BOO!"

"But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory." He said ruffling Dipper's head and Mabel elbows him playfully. "

"Okay, okay. Most of the glory."

"Smile for the camera!" Toby said holding up a…painted cinder block? How is he a respected journalist?

"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby."

"I just wanna to be a part of things..." He said sadly.

Shandra Jimenez cuts in as says, "Smile for a REAL camera."

"Everybody say 'Something stupid!'" Mabel said as they all made silly poses for the camera.

"By the way, have any of you seen Miss Dirgel? We have yet to find her."

"She is lives in the next town." Dipper said quickly, hoping Stan hadn't done anything to 2.

"And don't forget to go to the after-party tonight at eight." Stan announced pulling out a poster for the event, having the attention pulled to him then the absent 3.

"We're doing a Karaoke bonanza, people! Light! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke-performance by our family band plus Polaris, "Love Patrol Alpha"!" Mabel announced, holding out her own poster as the males and 3 cringed.

"I don't know about that."

"I never agreed to that ever."

"_I rather eat a barf fairy."_

"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!"

Wendy then appears, blowing an air horn to draw the crowd her way, "Buy your ticket people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you pizza guy! Don't lame out on me!" She shouted, leading the crowd outside to the ticket booth outside.

Stan sighed contently, "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way."

Dipper nervously walked up to Stan and asked, "Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a moment. I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back."

"Huh? Journal?" He 'searches' himself for the journal and then produced the real 3 from under a cooler." Oh! Hehe! You mean this old thing! It was so boring I couldn't even finish it." He lied handing 3 over.

"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?" Dipper asked, playing his part.

"What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?"

"I…I gotta go."

* * *

><p>He grabs 3 and Mabel and ran up to the attic and locked the door and closed the shades.<p>

"Okay 3, we're clear." He said and 3 transformed into her human form.

"_Thank God, I was having flashbacks to the cubby."_ 3 said, stretching_. "Before I forget,"_ She grabbed 1 and 2 from under the bed and set them in front of the twins.

"_Nice to see you again, Dipper." _2 greeted warmly, _"How is that wound, by the way?"_

Dipper winced in memory, absently rubbing his abdomen. "It's healing; anyway, what is Stan up to?"

3 shrugged helplessly. _"I don't know exactly what he's up to, but he is working on a giant machine that looks like a portal."_

"A portal!?" the twins said, astonished.

"_At least, that's what me and 2 think."_

"What about 1?" Mabel asked, poking the silent 1.

"_The lug hasn't spoken to us; he's too caught up in his predictions to speak to us."_ 3 said dismissive.

"Now what?" Mabel asked, causing 3, 2, and Dipper to look at her curious. "We've defeated Gideon; got 3 a body, and retrieved 1 and 2 from Stan what do we do now?"

"I have an answer to that." Dipper announced. "We're half way through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on 1, 2, and 3. Grunkle Stan is also after them and created a portal using them. But the question is why?"

"_Gideon believed that we held the secret to ultimate power." _2 began_. "But we don't have a complete memory of our time in Gravity Falls, just formative memories and sensations as our consciousness were just developing."_

"_The first clear memory I have was Father hiding me in that cubby with a terrified look on his face. Gideon also said that Father found power that no one should be able to control; maybe the brat was right and he had to disappear to prevent him from being corrupted by this so called power?" _3 added.

Dipper was pacing up and down the room in deep thought. "That's the thing! Who wrote it? Where is he and how did he discover this power? What was Bill talking about when he said 'everything was going to change'? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it. We have to find the writer; he will most likely have answers to our questions."

"_What I want to know is why that Bill kept on saying that I 'appeared ahead of schedule.' He must have some sort of plan involving us."_

"_What do you mean?"_ 2 asked.

"_Remember when Gideon summoned Bill? When we chased him into the Dreamscape, he referred to us in oddly specific nicknames; Mabel was Shooting Star, Soos was Question Mark, Dipper was Pine Tree, and I was Hand."_

Mabel then said, "Bro, I know you want to do this, but we don't have a lot to go on. Almost all of 3's pages are blank. There's nothing left to discover! What can we do?"

"_Why don't we use 1?"_ 2 pointed out. _"He predicts what will happen." _

"O-oh, yeah I've forgotten about that!" Dipper facepalmed.

"_Don't even think about it." _A deep voice rang out.

"_1! You've finally came back to Earth!"_ 3 said in surprise then frowned, _"What do you mean 'don't even think about it!?' Don't you want to find Father!?"_

"_3…all of my pages are blank."_

"What!?" They yelled and Dipper opened 3 to find nothing but blank pages. "What happened!?"

"_Bill was telling the truth, something has changed and now I can't accurately predict what will happen now." _1 said regretfully.

Dipper sighed and put down 1 and looked at 3, "So we don't have a lot to go on. That's okay; we can work with what we got." He then sighed and laid down, "I just feel like I'm one puzzle piece away from figuring out everything."

"_It's like one of those mystery novels; we just need to follow the clues."_ 3 said optimistically.

"Don't worry Dipper! Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! 'I play by me own rules! Wot? Wot?'" Mabel said lifting up Waddles.

"Why do we even tell you these things?" Dipper then paused and asked, "Do you hear that?" Dipper asked as he heard a car pulling up, they gathered at the window to see a black car pull up and two men step out of the car and look at the Shack.

"_It looks like a government car." _2 said apprehensive.

"_Maybe Gideon did something? I mean he did travel around the country, maybe he tried to do something similar here somewhere else and the FBI is investigating?"_ 3 asked, cocking her head to the side.

* * *

><p>They went downstairs to see Stan closing the shop early and chasing away customers. "The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"<p>

"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?" Mabel asked, confused.

"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop."

"_It's quite suspicious."_ Polaris said. **(A/N: I'll refer to 3 as Polaris when there are people around her as will the twins.)**

Stan was walking nervously in the gift shop and paused when he noticed Polaris. "When did you get here? The shops closed! I will not hesitate to use the hose on a child!"

"_I was with the twins."_ She said as a door bell ring is heard and a few knocks after it.

Stan nervously opens the door with a fake smile, "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you?" Stan takes out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket. "Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" Stan said as he takes out a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat. _Is he bribing them?_

The two men show their government I.D. card.

"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

Agent Trigger points at Stan and whispers, "Activity!"

"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!" Stan asked sweating.

"I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor." Powers deadpanned.

"_Does that even exist?"_ Polaris whispered to Dipper as Stan laughed.

"I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation." Powers said as they entered the Shack.

"Investigation!" Trigger growled and followed his partner.

Dipper turned to Polaris and said, "Did you hear that!? They're investigating the town!"

"_Yeah…As much as I don't like it, we might need their help."_ She said unhappily.

Dipper ran over to the Feds and called, "Wait! Wait, did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?"

"That information is classified but yes. Look. Between you and me I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one lead away from blowing the lid of this entire mystery." Powers told him.

"Are you kidding me? We're investigating the exact same thing, my sister, friend and I! We found a Journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!" Dipper informed him as Polaris nodded

Agent Powers gave him a card and said, "If you have evidence of these claim, we should talk."

"We could talk right now! Please, please. C-come in! We have so much to show you!" Dipper motions them to come closer.

Stan grimaced and stood between them, "Hehe, I'm sorry agents. The kid has an overactive imagination. And like a sweating problem. You know." He leaned over and whispered, "Girl problems." Motioning at a blushing Polaris.

"Ha-ha! Zing!" Mabel laughed.

"Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets you know?" Stan snapped his fingers a Soos sticks 'What is the Mystery Shack?' bumper stickers to both agents and puts some funny antennae on their heads.

"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Powers said unamused and left.

Agent Trigger stole 10 bobble heads and growled, "I'm confiscating this for evidence."

"Smart move."

"_More like abusing your power."_ Polaris hissed as Dipper ran after them, "Wait! No, wait! We got so much to talk about!"

Stan stops Dipper and said, "Hold it kiddo. Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party, is cops. I'm confiscating that card." He takes away the agents card and places it in a box of things.

"Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with that girl next to you, or steal a pie off a window sill." Stan said offhandedly as he walked away.

"But Grunkle Stan! You don't understand!"

"And don't go talking to those agents."

"Ugh! That could've been my big break!" Dipper groaned, fisting his hair.

"Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"

"_We never raised the dead!"_ 3 said defensively.

"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents 3 in book form!" He yelped, motioning at a still blushing 3.

"Trust me Dipper, the only book you two need tonight is right here: Boop!" She holds up her "Karaoke Songs" book.

Dipper and 3 grimaced as they stared at the book in Dipper's arms.

Mabel raised her arms and cheered, "I say Kara-, and you say -oke! Kara-. Kara-. Kara. I could do this all day."

3 sighed and muttered, _"Oke…but I'm not singing."_ She warned as Mabel cheered and glomped her.

"Too late, I've already added you!"

* * *

><p>That night, Stan, 3, Dipper, Soos, and Mabel are working on the outside party as Mabel shoots a confetti canon at Stan.<p>

"Well, the confetti cannon works! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs! 'We Built This Township on Rock and Roll', 'Danger Lane to Highway Town', 'Taking Over Midnight' by &NDRA!"

"Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me." Stan informed her.

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke is not about sounding good, it's about sounding terrible, TOGETHER." She said with wide eyes as 3, Dipper, and Wendy set up posters.

Wendy was laughing and looked at Dipper, "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary. It's like a crime scene, in my mouth! C'mon, you love it."

"_Maybe it's time to invest in toothpaste." _Polaris snarked and Wendy punched her shoulder, laughing.

Dipper just sighed, "It's not fair. Finally we meet someone who can help us solve the mysteries of this town, and Stan confiscates their card."

"Dude, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm pretty sure Stan hides, like, everything in his room."

"_How would you know that?"_

"Worked for Stan for years, Aris." She said ruffling her hair and giving Polaris a nickname.

"Ugh, if we go into Stan's room we could get in so much trouble." Dipper groaned.

"Yeah, you're probably right. That's what makes it fun, dummy!" She said as she placed a party hat on Dipper's hat. They snuck away when Mabel, Grenda, and Candy met up and went up to Stan's room. A piece of wood nailed to the door reads 'STAN'S ROOM'. A sign hanging on a nail below it reads 'NO MINORS ALLOWED'. A picture of Dipper with a cross through it and 'THAT MEANS YOU!' written on it is pinned to the door. A 'Do not disturb' sign is on the doorknob.

"_He really doesn't want you in his room."_ Polaris deadpanned.

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for Stan. You two go rustle through his weird old man biz."

Dipper and 3 opened the door and walked in, "Alright, Grunkle Stan. Where did you hide that card?" 3 opened the drawer and called, _"Nothing."_

Dipper opens the closet." Nothing." He opens a chest containing Fully Clothed Women magazine and Lady Swimwear magazine. "Ew! Pretending I never saw that." They both end up in front of a portrait of Stan. "Wait a minute... He moves the portrait to reveal a secret compartment with a box labelled 'Contraband' in it. "Ha-ha, yes! We found it!" They carefully take out the box and pulls out Agent Powers' card. "I got it!" He picks up the phone and dials the number on the card.

"Hi, this is Dipper. Th-the kid from the Mystery Shack. The one with the, um, 'sweating problem'. I have that journal I wanted to show you!"

"I'm a hundred percent positive." He said after a pause then Stan pushed past Polaris and ended the call.

"_Stan! Where was Wendy!?"_ Polaris asked.

"Sorry, Dipper, Aris. I got distracted." She said, guiltily raising her phone to show a shirtless Thompson.

"Kids, why did you call those agents? I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times! There's nothing 'supernatural' going on in Gravity Falls." Stan growled as he took the phone from Dipper and hung up.

"Yes, there is! After everything that's happened you have to know that by now."

"_You're cataracts are in the way of seeing what's in front of you!"_

"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, because when it's over - you're grounded! And you, young lady!" He said pointing at Polaris, "I-um…well, I'll think of something after the party! Now move you 3!"

Dipper, 3, and Wendy walk away as Dipper looks at Stan angrily.

3 placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Well, we're still meeting up with Powers and Trigger. What Stan doesn't know won't hurt him." 3 grinned.

* * *

><p>Dipper nodded and 3 returned to her book state and ran into the clearing just as the agents where pulling up.<p>

"Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together we can crack the all of the big questions of Gravity Falls!" Agents look at each other and asked, "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Huh? Oh, Polaris is at home." Dipper said, implication flying over his head in his excitement. "Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for." He gives 3 to Agents and they start reading. "I'm thinking full scale investigation. Forensics, researchers. Do you guys have a helicopter?"

"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny." Powers said skeptically.

"I can confirm. Not funny."

"No, no, no! It's real, I swear! I can show you! Am I saying that right?" Dipper said desperately as they turned away and 3 fumed angrily. _How dare those agents act all high and mighty! We've been here way before they drove in; they should be on their hands and knees groveling for our help. _

"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours. We've got paperwork to do, kid."

"Boring. Paperwork."

Dipper growled and yelled, "WAIT! This book is real."

"Maybe we should show them undeniable proof." 3 growled in anger.

"Gnomes, Cursed Objects, Spells! LISTEN! Uh, uh, Corpus Levitus Diablo Dominus Mondo Vicium!"

The 'Vicium' echoes through the air, as a large gust builds up. The ground starts shaking.

"Huh?"

"AAH!"

A huge crack forms between Dipper's feet he jumps away and lands near the Agents. Green smoke comes out of the crack and zombie slowly climbs out and roars.

"Ha, a zombie! A real, actual, zombie. Spooky journal, 100% real. Now can we work together?"

_"It's not gnomes!"_ 3 said cheerfully.

"Mother of all that is holy!"

"What do we do?"

"It's just one zombie, trust me I see things like this all the time." Dipper assured as he scanned 3.

3 looked down and yelled, _"Look out!"_ Dipper jumps out of the way, hissing as his stiches pulled as the zombie roars in his face and tried to eat his brains.

Agent Powers Quickly hits the zombie with a rock, so the zombie gets knocked out.

"Whew Oh, good thing it was just that one."

The ground starts shaking again more cracks form, more green smoke, and suddenly hundreds of zombies appear and start going after Dipper, Agent Trigger, and Agent Powers.

"_Oh shit! Is this a burial ground!?"_

"Oh my gosh! You guys can help right!?" Dipper asked, turning to the stunned agents.

"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years now but we have never seen anything like this before!"

"Get down!" Trigger yelled as a zombie tackled him. Then the zombies pull the agents into the darkness of the forest. Dipper and 3 are now by themselves.

"OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?" Dipper and 3 screamed into the night as they ran back to the Mystery Shack.

* * *

><p>Dipper and 3 ran into the party and sees only Soos and Mabel are the only ones there. Mabel glanced behind them and stares at 3 and Dipper.<p>

"Dipper, what's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?" Mabel asked angrily.

"_Mabel, now isn't really-"_

"Up! Not now, 3!"

"Raise the dead."

"And what did you do?"

"Raise the dead."

The zombies lurched closer as Mabel and Dipper back up as Soos heroically steps in front to protect them.

"Stay back dudes, this is about to get intense."

The zombie knocks over a table, forcing them into a dead end, as the zombies surround them

"AHHHHHHH!" They screamed.

"Sorry, one second." He takes out his phone and takes a picture, "You got to admit this is pretty cool."

"_NOT NOW SOOS!"_

"Zombies!" Dipper screamed

"Don't panic. Maybe they're just a very ugly flash mob!?"

A zombie swings and almost hits their heads before they duck. They run behind Soos while screaming.

"Dudes, stay calm. I have been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I see, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies." Soos said bravely as a zombie bites him and Soos turned.

"Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some Yea faces over here." Zombie Soos said as the twins and 3 screamed and ran with Waddles trailing after them.

They run around the side of the house, Soos and the other zombies in slow pursuit. Dipper slices through a zombie with his shovel.

"Quick! The golf cart!" Dipper pointed as the zombies attacked it and tore it apart. "Aw, come on!"

"Hoo, that's a bummer. Good news for me though, ha ha."

"Soos!"

"_Traitor!"_

"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!"

"Stay back!"

Dipper hits a colorful disco ball at the zombies. One of the zombies catches it in its mouth and swallows it, sending rays of colorful light shining out between its ribs. They continue advancing toward the twins and 3, who stood paralyzed in fear.

"Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!" Soos said as he advanced on them.

"What do we do? Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.

"How's he supposed to help? He doesn't even believe in the supernatural!"

"_He's probably with the portal!"_

A zombie lunged at Mabel and she bashed it with her karaoke machine, "Take that, sucka! This things a surprisingly good weapon!" She said as it took its head off.

More zombies approach behind them. The kids scream and run into the Shack.

"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!"

They pile things in front of the door, blocking it. The zombies press against the door and begin to break it.

"Okay, maybe that'll hold them." Dipper said hopefully as they backed away the window suddenly crashes open and Zombie Soos leans in.

"Hey dudes! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. Among these dudes I'm like a genius, ha-ha!" The Shack lights go out, with red light pouring in from outside. Zombies start climbing in through the window

"Get those brains, dawg!"

They ran for the other door, just as a zombie hand smashes through. They gasped and backs into the corner with Mabel.

"Dipper, isn't there something in 3 about defeating zombies?!" Mabel yelled, clutching Waddles and her Karaoke machine.

"NO! THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE ABOUT WEAKNESSES! This can't be happening. I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast, it's all my fault and no one can save us!" Dipper groaned as he place his hand over his reopened wound from the running and exhortation.

"_No it's my fault! I was so angry at the agents; I let my anger cloud my judgment_." 3 said, working herself up to enter her snapped form when a baseball bat smashes the head of the one reaching for Dipper.

A boot crushes its head and the twins and 3 look up to see Stan with torn up clothes and his hat missing. He glares at the twins and panted, "YOU TWO! ATTIC! NOW!"

"Gru- Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper asked, stuttering.

"I said NOW! All right, you undead jerks, you ready to die twice?" Stan said menacingly as the zombies approached and began smashing them with the bat.

"The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me! Take that! And that! Eat it, no eyes!" The zombie growls and bites the baseball bat in half only to be punched by Stan's brass-knuckle-wearing fists. "ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE?"

"_Aim for the head!" _

He continues bashing zombies than backs up the stairs as more enter from the front door. At the top of the stairs he pushes over a grandfather clock with a grunt, sending it tumbling into the horde of zombies. The twins and 3 run into their room and slam the door. They back away as something starts breaking in. The door opens to reveal Stan, who coughs and clutches his side.

"Oh! Ow. Everything hurts." He grunted as he turns and closes the door, barricading it with a chair.

"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! Are you alright! Heh heh, well, at least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?" Dipper said nervously.

Stan paused, and then sighed as he turned to Dipper. "Kid, I've always known."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not an idiot, Dipper! Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" A zombie's hand breaks through the door. The group backs into the center of the room. "I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!"

A zombie breaks through the window. Stan punches it and watches it fall to the ground, where a crowd of zombies is staring up at the Shack. More start crawling up the outside walls.

"Looks like I didn't lie well enough." He said sadly as they backed away.

"What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel asked, frantic as Dipper paced, holding 3. "Well, normally 3 would help us, but there's nothing in there about defeating zombies! It's hopeless!"

Mabel froze, looking at 3 and pointed, "Wait, wait, wait! The text! It's glowing in the black light!"

"What?" He flips through 3, with Mabel and Grunkle Stan watching. The pages are covered with previously hidden notes.

"_O-oh…Yeah! Father wrote these before he disappeared."_

"All this time I thought I knew all 3's secrets, but they're written in some kind of invisible ink!" Dipper said excited as Stan whispered to himself, "This is it! 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three part harmony.' Three part harmony, how can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream..." Dipper said, offhand

"_I don't have lungs." _

"I can make noises with my body. Sometimes intentionally."

Mabel grinned and said, "Boys, boys. I think you're both missing the obvious solution."

* * *

><p>They went up to the roof and Mabel tested the microphone, "Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? "<p>

The zombies gathered outside. Dipper, 3, Stan, and Mabel are on the roof awning, each holding a microphone.

"Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha! Unfortunately, our guest star, Polaris couldn't make it, but we're still preforming."

"I never agreed to that name." Dipper muttered.

"Hit it!" Mabel yelled, playing, "Taking over Midnight."

"Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this." Stan groused

"'_**Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry daddy, I've got my favorite dress on?!'**_ Mabel, this is stupid!" Dipper growled, covering the mic.

"'_**Roll in to the party, the boys are looking our way/ we just keep dancing/ we don't care what they say! And all the boys are getting up in my face-'**_Aah! Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!" Mabel called over.

"'_**Boys are a bore, let's show them the door.'"**_ Stan reluctantly sang.

"'_**We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!'"**_ A sound wave goes out, causing the zombies to cover their ears. A few of their heads explode. _**"'Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'"**_

"_Either its working or you three sing really badly."_

"'_**We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'" **_

"'_**Takin' over tooniiiiight!'"**_ The guitar riff plays, a zombie pops up and Dipper screams.

"_Dipper!"_

"DUCK!" Mabel called as she shot it with confetti cannon. Its head lands in the punchbowl as the rising sun illuminates the corpses of all the zombies. "Thank you! We'll be here all night!"

"Deal with it, zombie idiots! Ahahahahaha!" Stan laughed at the corpses scattered around the grounds and the family cheered.

"PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"

* * *

><p>Stan puts on his fez back on as Dipper and Polaris walk up to them.<p>

"I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything."

"_I'm sorry for helping Dipper break into your room, Mr. Pines."_

"Dipper, Polaris, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my two favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that."

"Kids, listen. This town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to that spooky journal; as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble."

"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town." Dipper said, knowing that Stan won't keep his promise and crosses his fingers with Polaris.

"Promise."

"Promise."

Stan looked around and cringed, "Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" He asked as Zombie Soos lurched into the room.

"Brains! Braaains!"

"Holy Moses!" Stan cried and grabs a chair, almost hits Zombie Soos.

Dipper stopped him, "Wait! There's a page in the Journal about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde."

"Ooh and cinnamon!"

"_Don't forget about the salt!"_

"Come on Soos, let's fix you up."

"Brains! Braaains!"

Mabel, Dipper, and Polaris move Soos out of the room with a chair as Mabel sighed, "Soos cut it out!"

"Hehehe, sorry dude!"

* * *

><p>Later, when Dipper and Mabel was de-zombiefying Soos, Polaris walked over to Stan<em>. "Mr. Pines. I still feel guilty for my part in this debacle, so I wish to make it up for you."<em>

"What do you have in mind, kid?"

"_How about I work for you for free?"_

"Well…I can't say no to free labor…you're hired, Polaris!" She turned to leave, when Stan stopped her. "Also, thanks for helping Dipper out of the wreckage, appreciate it kid." He then turned away as 3 went back upstairs to see Dipper pacing the room with a black light.

"Hey 3!" He said catching sight of her.

"_Hey Dipper!"_ 3 said as she returned to being a book. _"How are your stitches?"_

Dipper winced, rubbing his abdomen, "Its fine, I still can't believe it! All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight!" He uses the black light and shines it to 3. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore..."

"_Yeah, maybe we'll find my Father, get some answers, and hopefully figure out what that portal is for."_


	18. Interlude 3

Journal Interlude 3 or shorts

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3 thinking

"_Talk"-_3 talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language

* * *

><p>Mabel's Guide to Life Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained

The week a forgetful tourist left behind the camera will later be known as 3's wildest week of her existence. It all started when a flashy tourist left behind a brand new camera and was found by Mabel who decided to share it with Dipper and 3 and wanted to create a series of memories to look back on. The twins decided to do a split series while 3 was the camerawoman that filmed them.

Little did she know she'll have a massive headache and shocks all week.

* * *

><p><strong>That Thing #76<strong>

"Well that concludes Gravity Fall's anomaly #13, the Mobius chicken Strip." Dipper said as he and 3 munched on them

"They're infinitely delicious." He was about to continue when a thing came out of nowhere and surprised 3 enough to drop the camera.

3 picked up the camera as Dipper ran towards a sleeping Mabel who muttered about sleeping forever until Dipper told her it was eating their stockpiled candy

"What!? Ew…it's like a naked little man." She yelped looking at it.

Dipper announced the new anomaly with a quick flash board as Mabel tried to get him away from the candy. Dipper and Mabel tried to catch it with a trash bin and golf club but managed it to escape via ceiling and crawling down stairs with the twins and 3 chasing after it.

"Save the candy!" Mabel yelled, wielding a golf club.

"Where is it? Have you-AH!" Dipper yelped when it landed on his face and banged into the table. The thing fled to the kitchen, still eating on top of the refrigerator.

"Aw no! He's wasting candy!" Mabel yelled as they exchanged fire with it throwing candy and the twins threw cans at it. "Let's catch it with our mouths!"

"What!? No why wo-" He was cut off when a piece landed in his mouth. "That's actually-OW!" He groaned when a bar hit him dead center in the face.

"Dipper! Are you alright!?" 3 asked, placing a hand on his face in concern.

They chased it to the den until it stepped on the remote and froze, transfixed by the TV. Dipper laughed and said.

"Ha, and he dropped the candy, what a little dummy. Glued to the…to the…oh I love this movie…"

3, Mabel, Dipper, and the thing all settled down on the chair watching the movie and the thing eating Grunkle Stan's golf clubs.

_"Hey Dipper, what should we do with the monster?"_ 3 asked, eating some chocolate.

"Candy now, monster later." Mabel said eating her portion as Soos walked in.

"Hey Polaris, hey Dipper, hey Mabel, hey…Grunkle Stan." He said after a pause.

"Well that's it for Dipper's guide to the unnatural; the next episode will probably be about this candy eating monster." Dipper said to the camera 3 left on the table.

Soos leaned over to the monster and asked, "Pssh, Stan, what's he talking about?"

* * *

><p><strong>Dating<strong>

"Look at his little shorts" Mabel cooed as 3 twitched. She had just been roped into a marathon with Mabel and was still panting as she filmed Waddles on a treadmill running towards a sundae.

After the marathon, Mabel dragged her into a talk show setting to talk about dating.

"As we all know, I'm a dating expert. In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!" She said casually as 3 panned out to see a cardboard boy wanting Mabel back.

"You know what you did, Zach! Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls' swingiest bachelors. Soos!"

Soos was looking at a fake camera and said, "Get ready to fall in love, America! Am I, am I looking at the right camera?"

"_Soos! The one I'm holding!"_

"Dipper!"

"Who are you even making this for?"

"_Supposedly us in the future."_

"Grunkle Stan!"

"I'm only here 'cause you promised bacon." Mabel looks at 3 and sighed, throwing the bacon. "I'm pacified!"

"And now for a simple 9000 question dating quiz." She whispered to 3, holding up the quiz.

"_How is that simple!?" _

While they were working, 3 was on break when she paused, watching Mabel stuffing a struggling Dipper into the closet.

"_Mabel? What are you doing to Dipper?"_ She turned to 3 and shoved her into the closet as well, on top of Dipper and locked the door.

"This is called 7 stars in Heaven! This concludes Animal-Dating!"

They were silent for a minute and Dipper sighed, "She forgot to unlock the door, didn't she?"

3 was out of the closet and was beet red, as Dipper had kissed her in the closet, and was filming.

"Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, you scored a three."

"Yes! Yes!" And Mabel gave him "Datable."

"This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers and convicts."

"I still consider this a victory."

She went over to Dipper, who was also blushing and said "Dipper. Your score is..." Mabel looked down and choked. On his results was **"TAKEN!"** in bold red letters scribbled on it. Mabel glanced at 3 who smiled sweetly from behind the camera. "You know, scores don't really matter. You just need to focus on being you." Mabel made a note to give Dipper, "Possessive Girlfriend."

Mabel giggled awkwardly and moved on to Soos. "Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored…A twelve?"

"My grandma was right all along. I am the world's most perfect man!" And Soos got "Total Hunk."

"Love is all around us. And if it seems like you too aren't the right fit, force it! Oh, no! The squirrels! They're back! Aaah! Save me, 3, Dipper! Save me!"

"Hey 3?" Dipper asked nervously, when they finally got the squirrels off Mabel. "You didn't happen to kiss me did you?"

3 paused and looked at Dipper and asked_, "Didn't you kiss me?"_ He shook his head and they looked at the closet.

"You don't think…"

"_The invisible wizard?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Stan's Tattoo #23<strong>

3 and Dipper decided to figure out what Stan's tattoo looks like and set up a board that only had glimpses of it and Mabel became the camerawoman today and was alternating from 'crushing' Dipper's and 3's head.

"Hello, I'm Dipper Pines."

"_And I'm 3, AKA Polaris Dirgel."_

"The girl trying to crush our heads is my sister, Mabel."

"I'm helping." Mabel said, awkwardly waving at the camera from behind.

"Today on Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained-Okay, that's enough" He said, waving Mabel's hand away as 3 held up a cardboard card, "Anomaly #23: Grunkle Stan's secret Tattoo. What is he hiding?"

"_Other than you-know-what, a college prank? Secret symbol?"_

"Or something stranger? Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we will find out." Dipper declared as 3 tackled Mabel to prevent her from showing what's under her band aid and wrestling the camera away from her.

They started out simply, by turning up the thermometer so he would take off his shirt but it back fired when he was disgusted by Soos taking off his own shirt. Dipper tried again by saying Stan had Poison Oak and tried to lift up his shirt. However, Stan slapped away his hand and said, disinterest.

"Kids, if you want to see my tattoo, then you'd have to try harder than that." He said looking at 3's camera under her arm.

"A-HA! So you admit you have a secret tattoo!" Dipper exclaimed.

"I don't, but you two do…" He said picking up a red marker and scribbling "Goober" under Dipper's birthmark and 3 got "Kitty Cat" on her cheek.

"_Okay plan C…"_ 3 was hiding in the ceiling supports with a bucket of paint, waiting for Stan to walk under her. When he walked under, she was going to dump it when the wood she was on gave out and sent her sprawling right next to a startled Stan and dumping the gold paint over a stone head and attracting tourists fighting over who will by the "Sold Gold Head."

Stan grinned and ruffled the annoyed 3's hair, "Nice Try, I'll let this slide for raking in money."

3 growled and looked up at Dipper, _"Damn it, let's just do plan, Z-A-91."_

They nodded and waited for Stan to go into the shower.

"We didn't want to do this…"

"_But he left us no choice…"_

They ran in a pulled the curtains apart and saw a fully dressed and soaked Stan, glaring at them.

"You two are never going to see my tattoo…"

"How long have you been standing there?" Dipper asked as they backed away.

"Give me that CAMERA!"

They split up and lead Stan on a Scooby-Doo style chase and ran up to the roof to wait out Stan's anger.

"So…we just figured we chill up on the roof for a while…" Dipper trailed off as Stan yelled.

"I'm gonna find you Kids!"

"Well that's it for our episode; Stan's tattoo remains a mystery. But, who knows what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered?"

A particular loud yell echoed beneath them and 3 sighed, _"Maybe we should look for something that is least likely to kill us…"_

* * *

><p><strong>Stickers<strong>

"Well that concludes Mabel's guide to hair Topiary." Mabel told a confused 3, who had absolutely no idea what happened other then it involved hair, coat hangers, hot glue, a gallon of hair spray, and a porcupine.

"What is it?" Dipper asked from his bed.

"It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich." Mabel growled and made her "ostrich" caw.

"_I'm so confused…"_

Mabel pulls out a large book and sat in front of 3 sitting on a chair with a book with Dipper reading C behind her on his bed.

"Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations."

"_Um…"_

"No, they haven't." Dipper quipped from behind as Mabel opened the history book.

"The ancient Greeks used leeches for stickers! The more stickers you had, the cooler you were!"

"_I thought it is to cure disease?"_

"Nope, not true. 3 is right."

"The ancient Aztecs' chest skull is a modern equivalent to todays, 'Orange you happy Mon?'"

"_Don't you mean ancient?"_

Dipper finally butted in saying, "Yes, Aztecs' war paints were exactly like a Rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?"

Mabel glared at them and pointed at her brother and yelled, "Edit it out!"

They looked at her strangely as she grinned and snapped her fingers. "Edit! Edit! Edit! Cut away!"

Dipper and 3 shared a look and shrugged as Mabel dragged 3 away to educate Soos on stickers with her Sticktionary.

"Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary! Stickers fall into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers"

"So soft!" Soos exclaimed, touching them as 3 just filmed.

"Googly eyes stickers" She shook the book to cause them to jiggle and 3 and Soos drew back alarmed.

"Aaah! It's like they're watching me!"

"_They're working for Bill!"_

"Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers. You can get these ones free at the store!" She said as Dipper walked in.

"Don't they need those?"

"Listen, Dipper. You shouldn't doubt my authority. In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things."

"_You mean bribing Stan with stickers in exchange for industrial grade sprinkles?" _3 deadpanned from her position.

"Oh! I almost forgot about those! I'm gonna get so sick." She ran to the attic and pulled the keg from under her bed and began eating them as 3 and Dipper watched, bemused.

"Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?"

Mabel began yelling edit again and the two sane ones just shrugged and left, leaving the camera behind.

* * *

><p><strong>Mailbox #54<strong>

3, Dipper, and Soos went into the forest and found a lone mailbox in the clearing.

"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly # 54: The Mailbox. There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house. No address. Today, me and my team of experts..."

"_Good morning."_

"Sup?"

"...are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up."

Soos walked up to the camera 3 was holding and held up his letter.

"My letter poses a salient question: 'Sup Dawg?'" He places the letter in mailbox.

"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush, and wait for someone to come by-" He was cut off when the mailbox started to rumble.

"_W-what the!?"_ 3 gasped backing up and placing herself in front of Dipper.

"Oh, Dude!" Soos said, backing up.

"What the-?!" Dipper echoed

As suddenly as it began, it stopped and the flag rose on its own.

"Did you see that?!" Soos exclaimed.

"Open it!" Dipper said as he ran over.

"No, you open it, dude! I'm not touching a ghost mailbox!"

"_Such a baby, I'll do it."_ 3 huffed and grabbed a nearby stick and carefully opened the mailbox to find a different letter with a wax seal.

"What?!"

"That's not our letter, dudes!"

Dipper takes the letter out of 3's hand and read out loud, "Hello Dipper, Journal 3, and Soos."

"_How!?" _

"It knows our names!"

Soos narrowed his eyes and said, "I don't know…it was way off of Polaris's name, dudes."

"We gotta test it." Dipper declared.

"What did I shave into my head this morning?" Soos wrote and placed in the mailbox.

"'A baby duck holding a paddleball' Dude! It knew!" He takes off his hat to reveal the duck shaved into his hair.

"What?!"

"_How did we not notice that!?"_

"Ask it more questions!" Soos said excitedly.

"When is the end of the world?" Dipper wrote.

"3012. Huh. We've got a while."

3 wrote down, _"Have we met my Father, yet?"_

"Yes." 3 and Dipper shared a sigh of relief; it meant the author was still alive.

"Who is my dream woman?" Soos wrote.

Soos got a picture of a body builder, "Ho ho ho! Hot tamales! I'll save that one for the archives!"

"_Whatever floats your boat Soos…"_

Now that the proving tests are done, they were now trying to figure out what to ask the mailbox now. "Uh, when is the exact time and date of my death?"

"Did aliens build the pyramids?!"

"_Is Bill telling the truth?"_

"Or... what is the meaning of life?"

"_Dipper, the meaning of life is 42."_

"What are marshmallows made of?!"

"Or... Who IS the author?"

"Who wrote that creepy journal? Who wrote that creepy journal?" Soos cheered and 3 looked a little insulted.

"We're finally gonna get the answer to the greatest mystery in Gravity Falls!"

"_I'll finally know my Father's name…"_

Mabel suddenly ran up to the mailbox, "Nifty! A mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom this video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" She said happily as she shoved the package inside.

"No, wait!"

"Dude!"

"_STOP!"_

"Bam!" She yelled as she slammed the box close and the mailbox flag raises.

"'Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass.'" Dipper read as the mailbox glowed.

"What's that?!" Soos yelled as the twins and 3 ran away.

The mailbox implodes and Dipper, 3, Mabel, and Soos are standing in the middle of a scorched clearing

3 turned angrily at Mabel and started screaming at her, _"YOU FOOL! YOU'VE RUINED OUR BEST SHOT AT FINDING MY FATHER!"_

Dipper grabbed the camera as 3 went on a diatribe on Mabel and started display signs of snapping. "Well, uh, that concludes Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, where we learned when dealing with the unknown, DO NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE! Now, I have to prevent my homicidal, supernatural book from killing my sister."

Dipper ran over just as 3 entered her snapped state and started to chase after Mabel.

"No! No! Show over! SHOW OVER-!" He abandoned the camera to try to calm 3 down and prevent his twin's murder.

* * *

><p><strong>Fashion<strong>

3 finally calmed down after a day of stewing and she was nervously recording Mabel as the thing she was working on exploded.

"Wow! I'll never be allowed to do THAT again! Thank you for watching Mabel's guide to home pyrotechnics. See you next time" She coughed with her hair blown back and soot face.

_"I don't think there'd be a next time Mabel…"_ 3 said sardonically as she put out her scorched hair and Mabel yelped when she was electrocuted by her hair.

Soon, Mabel's friends came over and took over the filming to give 3 a break. Or it might have something to do with the scratches on the shape of claws on her back. Either way, 3 and Dipper had a break except to help out with her montage.

"So wait, what are we supposed to do again?" Dipper asked with sunglasses and sitting next to 3.

"Flip up your glasses and Polaris look jealous." They did as they were told and went into the woods to be attacked by Jeff again, thinking he could make 3 his queen this time. That didn't last long when 3 snapped and went nuts.

They just got back when Grenda tackled the exhausted 3 to the ground and Mabel and Candy joined her.

"Grab her arms Grenda! Watch her legs, Candy!" Mabel yelled as she pushed the shocked Dipper out of the way.

When they were done, 3 now looked like Gaara from Naruto complete with the gourd.

"_I would be more upset if you hadn't chosen to cosplay me as one of my favorite characters."_ 3 said looking into a mirror; she then dragged Dipper out of the room yelling.

"_Let's go find some mind sand or a kitsune!"_ She said over her shoulder to a confused Dipper.

* * *

><p><strong>Lefty #82<strong>

"_Hey Dipper…"_

"Yeah?"

"_I just noticed that guy never shows his right side…"_

"Really?"

"_Yeah, even when he's jogging, he never turns…"_

Dipper and 3 followed the man around and realized that she was indeed correct from said jogging to the escalator to the grocery store.

"Alright, uh. Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Today we investigate Gravity Falls Anomaly #82." 3 turns the camera to the left man and Dipper continued.

"This guy. Sure he looks normal, but if he's so normal explain why he's always facing left."

"_I've been watching him for weeks...and I've never once seen the right side of his face..."_ 3 said looking at the man.

"...and neither has anyone else. But why?"

Dipper turned to Mabel with a manila envelope, "Mabel? Theories?"

"Theory one: He's hiding an embarrassing sunburn. Theory two: Half-man, half lizard-man! And theory number three, my personal favorite: He's normal! 3 and Dipper are just crazy!"

3 frowned at Mabel as Dipper snatches the picture, "That's not a theory, that doesn't count as a theory." Dipper growled as Mabel giggled to herself.

"We find out now! Hello, good sir!" Dipper greeted the man as he, 3, and Mabel entered the store.

"Eh, I'm sorry, cameras aren't allowed in here." He said, pointing at 3.

"Oh, it's not on. Not on. He bought it! So, would you mind grabbing those bowling shoes for me? The ones on your right side?"

"Those ones?" He pointed at the pair and Dipper nodded and the man never turned much to 3's suspicion.

"Whoops! Oh no, I... dropped my wallet!" 3 snatched it and tossed it over to his right. "It's over to your right there. Your right side. Could you maybe turn around and...?"

The man just sighed and pick it up without turning, "There you are, sir."

Dipper just sighed and said, "Fine. Could you just get me my bowling ball?"

"I don't see why not. Let's see, looks like maybe it's in here…"

"Well, I was thinking it could be the..." 3 run over and forcefully turned the man around to see that he was a robot being worked by mini fish men. "Ah ha! What the...?!"

"_What the #$^&"_

One of the fish men noticed and pointed at the gob smacked kids. "Guys!"

"We're blown, shut it down! Shut it down!"

The Fish Aliens started to panic as the robot man started to explode and one takes out pills.

"The time has come!"

"The time has come, brother!"

"I can't! I have a family!" One begged as another frowned and forced a pill down his throat.

"You signed the oath!" They all took theirs and they exploded along with the robot causing the sprinkler to go off and the three ran out of store, horrified.

"Well, that concludes anomaly #82. Uh, I think we might want to burn this tape."

"_We'll never speak of this!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Colors<strong>

3 looked annoyed as Mabel laughed on and on in front of 3.

"Ahahah! Ha-ha! Ahahah! And that's Mabel's guide to laughing for an uncomfortable amount of time! Uh-oh, here comes more!" She laughed more as Dipper crumbled C and 3 began crushing the camera.

Soon Mabel stopped laughing and dragged 3 over to a slide show.

"Color is all around us: from the nauseous green of a twin brother to the weird orange of an old man's nose to the beautiful sky blue of toilet water to the red of a mystical book's hair. But it wasn't always this way."

She showed another slide of a newspaper clipping of the Great Depression. "According to history, the world was black and white until color was invented by a magic wizard named, Crandoff the Fabulous." She showed a clipped art of a wizard drawing on the newspaper.

"_Dipper was right; you've never read a history book."_ 3 sighed as she dragged them all over town to get the townspeople's favorite color.

"Hot Pink." Pacifica answered.

"Beige!"

"Wendy…wait what was the question again?" Dipper said to 3's annoyance.

"Lasers! Oh! Or liquid metal! Do leopards count as a color?"

"_We'll get back to you Soos."_

"Flannel." Wendy answered for her family.

They went back to Soos who still hadn't decided, "Okay, okay! I've narrowed it down to Aurora Borealis, camouflage…"

Candy held up a tide dye poster, "Magic Fission Poster."

"_Light Blue."_

They went to Stan who said, "None."

"What?"

"I don't have a favorite color. I don't even like colors."

"Not even rainbows!?"

"Beats me, I've never seen a rainbow."

"WHAT!"

Mabel dragged 3 up to the twin's room with Candy and Grenda."

"Alright guys, how can we get Grunkle Stan to see a rainbow? I need ideas people!"

"_Maybe he's colorblind."_

"Sometimes when I drink expired milk, I see rainbows! I'm gonna try right now!" Grenda shouted and drank as Candy pulled out her plan.

"What if we reflect the rainbow from the falls into Stan's window?" 3 and Dipper grinned and high fived her as Grenda lurched and passed out to 3 and Dipper's concern.

"It's okay, she does this." Candy reassured them as Grenda snored

"_Should we take her to the doctor's?" _

3 and Mabel hid behind the door as dipper and Candy waited by the falls, waiting for the signal.

"Alright, we're about to about to unleash the ROYGBIV-a tron into Stan's office." 3 quickly gave the signal and they hid behind a desk as Stan walked in.

"Nothings brighten a dark room like a light from an opened window. Time to open the wind-OWW! OH NO! WHY!? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?" He opened the shades and screamed in pain as the light hit him directly.

"Ta-Da! Surprise!" Mabel gleefully shouted as Stan still screamed.

"_I think we blinded him…"_

"Maybe we over did it a little…" Mabel said as the office caught on fire.

"Get those bandages good and tight. I'm not giving my life savings to some quack doctor." Stan said as Dipper and Soos tied the bandages around his eyes as 3 made a salve for his eyes.

"That's it for today…join us next week as we'll be doing Mabel's guide to apologizing to your great uncle."

"I hate color more than ever!"

"He's just saying that." She said nervously as she turned off the camera.

* * *

><p><strong>Tooth #42<strong>

Dipper, 3, and Mabel all traveled to the beach to see the gigantic tooth that washed ashore on the lake. "Welcome to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly # 42: The Tooth."

"I'm here for scale!" Mabel said, poking the tooth with a stick.

"I found it yesterday when I was, uh... practicing. Strangely human, but it's gigantic! It's bigger than any fish or Lake Monster I've ever seen. And we're gonna find out where it came from!"

"_We don't know what it could be. But we'll ask the ranger if he knows anything."_

"Tooth? No, I don't know nothing about a tooth."

"_We mean the gigantic molar on the beach nearby."_ 3 said adjusting her camera.

"We were thinking about paddling out on that lake tonight." Dipper continued.

The Ranger turned a little to look at them and said, "Bit of friendly advice, boy: If you see bubbles on that lake, run."

"What, why?"

The ranger leaned over menacingly and growled, "Enough questions get that camera out of here!"

"I'm here at the lake to investigate. I brought Mabel and 3 for backup."

"And I brought Bear-o, my adorable childhood puppet.) Hey -Oooh! Ain't that right, honey? Did somebody say...honey? Ha ha ha!" Mabel said, holding up a creepy doll of a bear.

3 drew back and started growing claws. _"BURN IT! BURN IT BEFORE IT BREEDS!"_

"Nope, creepy. Bear-o's creepy. Everyone hates Bear-o."

"But, Dipper, who could hate Bear-o?" Mabel asked holding it up to Dipper's face and 3 growled protectively.

"I can think of a few people."

"Aw, come on! You'll see! You, I, 3, and Bear-o are the adventure team of a lifetime!"

3 and Dipper glance at each other and wrestled Bear-o out of Mabel's grip and 3 punted it half way across the beach and dragged her into the boat, leaving Bear-o behind.

"Okay, something out there left that tooth, and we're gonna find out what it is!"

Mabel just glared and held up a sign that read: 'DO YOU WANT MORE BEAR-O?! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD WRITE: Mabel Pines, c/o Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls'. To the camera which 3 shredded and threw the pieces into the lake.

"What are we supposed to be looking for?" Mabel asked as they rowed.

"I don't know, just look out for bubbles in the water."

"_Maybe a Titan?"_ 3 said as they noticed bubbles near an island.

"Dipper, look!"

"They're over by that island! We have to see what happens!"

They rowed closer and the island shakes violently.

"What was that?"

"Ah!"

"_What the hell!?"_

"What's happening?!

"It doesn't matter! ROW! ROW! ROW!"

The island soon floats up to revealed a giant head that rises out of the water and floats toward the boat, grunting random sounds."

"_OH MY GOD! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"_

"It's getting closer! Ah! Keep rowing!" Dipper yelled as they frantically rowed to land and the head crashes into them, throwing them onto the beach with the force of its dive.

"I don't know, I've been looking for- there it is. Okay, after it attacked us, that giant head then just sunk back into the lake, and it lost another one of its teeth trying to eat our boat! But the important thing is we survived. Barely."

"_Let's never do that again!"_ 3 said hysterical as she clutched Dipper, her phobia of water back full force.

"Ugh, yeah. Did somebody say bear-ly?" Mabel said picking up Bear-o and 3 kicked it out of her hands and Mabel glared.

* * *

><p><strong>Art <strong>

3 winced when Mabel crashed landed and summer salted into a pile of leaves.

"_Mabel I told you it wouldn't work."_

"Hush! And that was Mabel's Guide to Flying. In conclusion, flying and falling are basically the same thing." She looked at the bird that landed next to her, "I am like you now, bird. We are now one!"

"_Stop terrorizing the wildlife."_

After picking out her splinters, Mabel dragged 3 back to the slideshow.

"Art! It's all around us! From the big triangles of the desert."

"_Pyramids."_

"To those pen that go like...Boop! Boop!" She clicked a doggy pen in front of the camera. She then showed an elephant smearing paint of a canvas.

"Ha ha! Even old Jumbo is getting in on the act. Don't quit your day job, Jumbo! That's... That's really bad. No one knows what art means or where it comes from, but one thing is for sure: I'm great at it!"

"_How modest."_ 3 said sarcastically.

"At age 2, I was naturally gifted. At age 5, I was a master of portrait. Age 7 was a time of free exploration!" She places squiggles that over time turned into rainbows; 3 just passed off as a human thing.

"But it everything changed when I saw this amazing caricature!" She takes out a caricature of Dipper that had 3 blinking and Dipper tearing it out of her hands.

"Gimme that, gimme that."

"What could make it even better you ask? I give you…the 'Cat-icature!'" She pulls out a cat with Dipper's hat and another with 3's monocle earring.

"Just compare this amazing likeness to Dipper and 3!"

"That doesn't look anything like me."

"_It looks like it stole our stuff."_

Mabel interrupted them, yelling over them, "You're right it does look exactly like you two!" Mabel then pulls out more cat-icature of Wendy (who had her hair and hat), Waddles (pink with a pig nose), Soos (just had his hat), and Stan (had a fez) and shown them to Stan.

"Uh, it's just the same crummy cat face with a different hat each time." Stan said, not impressed.

"Exactly! And I sell them for 10 dollars each."

"_Whyyyy…?"_

"You need an agent? I am now your agent." Stan declared and soon the whole town wanted cat-icatures.

"I think it because its cats." Dipper soon answered as Toby got his picture.

"It looks exactly like me! Right down to my actual cat whiskers that the doctors can't explain! Meow meow meow!"

"You're always weirder than I remember." Mabel said a little freaked out.

"Mabel! These cat-icatures are selling' like hot cakes!"

"Cat-icatures are good. But I've moved on to the next level. Behold…" She grabs a living cat out which has a picture on its stomach. "'Humani-cat-icatures!'"

"_I think this is animal cruelty…"_

The customers paused then start to want the cat with a human drawn on them.

"Somebody get this girl more cats!" Stan yelled over the din.

"Just think of it as adoption." Dipper reassured her. Then looked at Stan gathering a lot of cats. "We'd better stay in Soos's break room, because I have a feeling our room will soon smell like litter box."

They went to the attic to see Mabel scratched up and clawed by many cats.

"That's it for Mabel's guide to art. Where we learned sometimes you have to suffer for your art. Here kitty, here kitty kitty..." The cat jumps and attacks Mabel in her face and Mabel falls over.

"It actually kind of tickles."

"_I'll get the salve."_

"I'll get the bandages."

* * *

><p><strong>The Hide-Behind #132<strong>

Mabel was filming 3 and Dipper who were still getting ready.

"We're on!"

"Oh. Hello. And welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained."

Mabel buzzes a UFO keychain to make a sound effect.

"_Nice."_

"Thank you. Today we investigate Gravity Falls anomaly #132: The Hide-Behind." 3 returns to book state and Dipper reads, "Local lumberjacks tell of a mysterious creature, always just out of sight. But these photos suggest it might actually be real! Either way, we intend to find out!"

3 returns to her human state and continued, _"During my years in the cubby, I always heard a shaking, hissing noise then quick footsteps. I know believe that it was the Hide-Behind."_

Mabel jumps out from behind Dipper and 3, surprising them, "LAAAA! I'M A HIDE- BEHIND!"

"AAH! Mabel!"

"_NOT FUNNY!"_

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

They went to see Manly Dan as Wendy's brothers cut down a tree behind him. "Hide-Behind? Oh, he's real alright. REAL AS MY BEARD! He was behind me once; made this sound: ch chchchchch. Mighty spooky." He said, serious as the tree behind him collapsed on the house nearby.

"Daaad!"

"It's coming' down!"

"DADDY'S DOIN' A MOVIE! He's doing' a movie now." Dan said into the camera. They went to see Lazy Susan who was overflowing a forgotten cup of coffee with the man nearby, trying to get her attention.

"Can I get a refill ma'am? Refill?"

"Oh, the Hide-Behind is definitely real. He might even be behind me right now! Let me see... Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-!" She began spinning around much to the confusion to the customer. 3 carefully take a napkin and took the cup from her hand and gave it to the guy.

"Thanks."

"_No problem."_

They went to talk to Stan who said, "Don't believe every legend you hear, kid. The people in this town are literally the dumbest people in the world. Literally. The Hide-Behind's just a rumor. You want a mystery? How about the mystery of why-" He was cut off by something very dark and very fast.

"What the... AH!"

"That's it!" Dipper yelled chasing after it with 3 on his heels.

"Hey, we're doing' an interview here! Kid!"

"Dipper!"

"We're coming for ya. Where is he? Where is he?"

"_He ran toward that clearing!" _

They found themselves in a clearing with a tiny tree in the center of the clearing that was rattling.

"Alright. After hours of searching, we've narrowed it down to this tree. I know what you're wondering. How do you catch a creature who's always right behind you? How about...a mirror suit!" 3 zoomed out to show Dipper cover in mirrors and 3 stretching out her awareness. "Nothing's going to sneak up on old Dipper- AAH!"

Dipper screamed when Mabel hangs upside down from a branch and poked him the middle of the head with a branch.

"BLIND SPOT!"

"AAH! Oof! I'm down! Dipper down!"

"This is it. Get ready to finally be seen, Hide-Behind! In 3... 2... 1..." They ran forward to find an owl shaking a maraca in its beak.

"A-ha! What?"

"Aww…" 3 said disappointed.

"Wow! Cool! Maraca owl!"

Dipper groaned and takes off the mirror suit as Mabel let the owl sit on her arm.

"Well, based on lack of evidence, I have to conclude, anomaly # 132, the Hide-Behind, just a legend." He glances at 3 who was looking around for some reason.

"What's wrong?"

"_I seem to have miss placed the camera."_

"Guess we'll have to come back in the morning.

They walked away when Dipper turned when he heard a hissing noise.

"What was that? Meh, nothing." This continued until they left the forest as Dipper became a little paranoid.

It won't be until tomorrow when 3 finds the camera do they find out the Hide-Behind does exist and its watching them.


	19. Chapter 16

Journal 16

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3

"_Talk"_- 3 talking

Warnings for 3's temper and language

* * *

><p>Boss Mabel<p>

"_So the point is to spin the wheel and get money?"_ 3 asked as she, Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Waddles watching _Cash Wheel _TV Announcer

'Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackerz, the chip flavored crackers!' A commercial declared.

"But they taste just like chips!" Mabel said amazed as she and Waddles ate said snack. A contestant spun a 'cash shower' and started punching the other contestants when they tried to take his money.

"I like that guy's style." Stan said, offhandedly.

"Mr. Pines! We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole busload of them!" Soos yelled, running into the den.

"_Why do they even come to this tourist trap anyway?"_ 3 asked Dipper who shrugged.

Stan looked out the window and ordered, "Hot tamales, it's a jackpot! Soos! Make some new attractions!"

"You got it, boss!" Soos said as he glues a wolf head onto a chicken's neck.

Stan turned to 3 and said, "Look alive, Polaris! This is your first tourist bus! Don't mess up!"

"_Very well."_

"Wendy! Mark up those prices! The higher the better! Higher! Bleed them dry!" Wendy made a $2 snow globe to $200.

"_Who would pay that much for a poorly made snow globe?"_

"Esh, Grunkle Stan. It's like when you see tourists, all you see are wallets with legs." Dipper said, looking at the prices.

"That's not true." He said looking out and grinning, even when one guy threw up. He rubbed his eyes and yelled, "Clean-up on the front lawn!"

Dipper just sighed and grabbed a bucket and went outside with 3 jogging after him.

"_We can just cover it with dirt and leaves and call it a day."_

* * *

><p>3 was blushing, if she could see her face, she would say that her cheeks were now neon red. Stan had forced Dipper into a wolf-boy costume to dance for the tourists. 3 silently cursed Mabel and Sunset for introducing 3 to the concept of wolf men to her.<p>

"_Curse this body's teenaged hormones."_

"Be astounded at the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy!" Stan called out theatrically and pulled the curtain to reveal the tourists he was fleecing.

"Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body's changing, ah!"

"Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning." Dipper pleaded, taking out the fake teeth. 3 couldn't come to his defense as she was turning her anywhere but Dipper and was focusing on being a living statue that would move mechanically and grab anyone near her.

"What? I don't know "da meaning" of that word!" Stan joked. "If you throw money at him, he dances."

The tourists cheered and begin to throw their money at Dipper, and he makes an attempt to dance. Stan catches money with a jar.

"Ha ha ha! Ooh! Thank you!"

One man got into her range and started to move stiffly.

"Ah look! Be amazed at the only living statue. That red flush means it will soon do the robot!" 3 grimaced and dance to the enjoyment of the tourists and Stan's greed.

Finally the tourists left, Dipper and 3, walked back to the gift shop to see Mabel and Stan arguing. Mabel stuck stickers on Stan's face who stuck them on the register and Soos, who was passing by.

"_I thought Stan liked Mabel."_

"Yeah that's weird." Dipper walked up to Stan and complained. "Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume? I think I'm getting hookworm."

Stan laughed, "Yep. Gluing dog hair to your body will do that."

"_I think my skin is suffocating."_ 3 said, scratching the silver paint on her skin.

"You've got all these dumb, fake exhibits in the Shack. Meanwhile, I've seen actual, amazing things in the forest every day! What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living?"

"And you should be nicer to your employees, too!"

"_Did that attraction just blink?"_

The Pines family glanced at 3 who was staring down a new exhibit called "The Cheapskate." Stan got nervous and waved 3 away. "Don't mind that Polaris! Anyway." He turned to the twins and said, "Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the Shack; take it up with the complaints department. Zing!" He held up a garbage bin, laughing.

"I am going to write them such a letter!" Mabel starts writing her letter, and quickly covers what she's writing with her arm.

"_She really didn't hear the sarcasm did she?"_

* * *

><p>Soon Stan ordered: Mabel, Dipper, 3, Wendy, and Soos to the roof to paint glitter on the sign to attract suckers.<p>

"And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds…" At that moment, the eagle Trembley fought decided to attack Soos. 3 grabbed a long paint roller and started swiping at the bird.

"Ha ha. That's funny." 3 heard Stan mutter when he walked back into the shop.

"Okay, is it just me, or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss seriously the worst?" Dipper groaned

"_He's a slave driver!" _3 declared as she finally fought off the eagle and had some scratches on her face.

"I know, right? Why do we even put up with it?" Wendy agreed then frowned at 3. "Hey, Aris? Is your blood black?" 3 hastily covered her scratch and said, _"Lightening."_

Soos also added, "I once gave him a suggestion to improve the Shack once. I had this idea where I could be, like, the Mystery Shack mascot. Questiony the Question Mark. I ask people questions, you know. Do the question dance."

"That sounds amazing!" Mabel gushed.

"Oh, cool!"

"Yeah, totally!"

"_It's a good idea, but let me guess, Stan said you couldn't handle it."_

"Got that right, Polaris."

"He said what!?" Mabel shrieked angrily and went downstairs to the roof. Leaving the four to continue the work, 3 groaned and threw a bucket of paint on the sign and said.

"_Done."_

* * *

><p>3 and Dipper went downstairs later on to see Stan packing up the car with Mabel on the steps, holding a large jar.<p>

"Mabel, what's going on?" Dipper asked as they came over.

Mabel turned to them and said, "I made a bet with Grunkle Stan. If I can make more money than him on vacation, then I'll run the Mystery Shack for the rest of the summer."

"_Do you think that was wise? I mean, Stan has been running the Mystery Shack since before you guys were born."_ 3 asked as Stan finished packing.

"See you in 72 hours! We'll see who makes more money." Stan laughed as he threw his fez at Mabel, and it lands on her head. She then moves it so she can see and she sees Stan driving away, laughing.

"Did you just make a bet with a professional con man?" Dipper asked as Stan vanished into the dust.

"Oh come on. Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch. Profit here we come!" Mabel said cheerfully and the jar she was holding slipped and breaks.

"You broke the jar."

"_Not even 30 seconds and we're in the red."_

"We'll get a new one."

"I guess we shouldn't be too worried. I mean, how much money could Stan even make on vacation?" Dipper said shrugging.

"Maybe by pick pocketing or selling fake watches. Or maybe on a game show." 3 joked as they entered the store.

* * *

><p>The employees entered Stan's office and Soos asked, "You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?"<p>

Mabel turns her chair around to face them. She was wearing a light blue suit with oversized glasses and…shoulder pads?

"Stan is no longer with us." Mabel said when she scooted over to the desk.

"_Mabel…you made it sound like he's dead."_ 3 deadpanned.

Soos, predictably only heard the 'dead' part. "He's dead? No! It should have been me!"

"Whoa, Soos! Stan's not dead! He's on vacation for 3 days. We made a bet." Mabel soothed as he calmed down.

"Thank you for that clarification."

"Mabel's in charge now!" She said pointing at herself.

"Are those shoulder pads?" Dipper finally asked when he got his voice back.

"Uh huuuuuuh! It's just one of the up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table." Mabel agreed, holding up a book date back in the 1980's and drinking from a #2 Boss mug.

3 sighed, _"I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but you're 34 years too late."_

"Why does your mug say #2?" Dipper asked.

"Because the real #1...is you…" She whispered, holding up a mirror to reflect them as they laughed.

"Walk with me. With me as boss you're gonna notice a few changes around here. My job is to help you be your best 'SELVES.' Satisfied, Everyday, Loving Life, Very Much, Everyday, Satisfied. Great listening ears so far!" She then plasters stickers on them to do positive reinforcement.

Mabel stood up and led the 4 into the gift shop, but not before calling to Waddles, "Waddles, hold my calls!"

She pulled out a chair and talked to the 4. "Alright people, now rap with me. Wendy, how can I make your work space more Wendy-friendly?"

Wendy thought for a minute and said, "Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work."

"Stan ain't here sister! Doors open!"

"Sweet!" 3 however, was so satisfied, she remembered the Convenience Store Incident and what the teens were doing **before **the ghosts showed up.

She turned to Soos and pulled out the suit she made yesterday and handed it to Soos, "And Soos, I believe this is yours?"

"Questiony the Question Mark!? I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!"

She then turned to 3 and Dipper, "As for you two, Polaris and Dipper..." Mabel holds up Dipper's wolf costume and silver paint and then tosses them into the shredder.

"Die wolf costume and silver paint, die! I want you two to head into the woods, and don't come back until you guys find an amazing attraction!"

Dipper and 3 grinned at each other and Dipper declared, "Finally! It's time to show Stan how REAL mystery hunters do it!"

Dipper runs off and grabs a flail next to a window with 3 grabbing a convenient taser nearby; they open the window and climbed out to the ledge.

"Dipper out!"

"_Polaris out!"_ Dipper then is pulled out the window by the flail with a concerned 3 following after.

"_DIPPER!"_ 3 landed neatly next to the fallen Dipper and asked, _"Are you okay?"_

"I may have bruised my spine, but I'm good. Let's go catch us a REAL attraction!"

They ran into the forest with 3 returning to book form when the Shack was out of sight.

* * *

><p>"Okay…what to catch…"<p>

"_I nominate the gnomes. They'll pay for thinking I'll just roll over and be their queen."_ 3 said darkly with an evil aura surrounding her.

Dipper thought about it for a moment then shook his head, "No, they're not dangerous enough."

"_True…"_ 3 admitted as Dipper look through her pages but then furrowed his brows. _"What's wrong?"_

"I just noticed, but you're entries now look faded, like the ink has been worn away." Dipper said concerned, gazing at the now lighter writing.

"_Really!?"_ 3 thought about it for a minute then realized. _"Gideon! When I was fighting him, he clipped me a couple of times and I think I bled some ink instead of blood."_

Dipper looked worried, "You'd better be careful from now on."

"_I know if I bleed too much, then we'll lose clues to my Father's location."_

"No 3, I'm worried you could die if you lose all of your ink. Kind of like exsanguination, please, next time you battle megalomaniacs, be careful. I'd hate to see my closest friend killed protecting me or close family when I could've prevented it."

3 mulled it over a bit, touched and a little scared over the thought she could die. _"I promise, I'll try to be careful next time."_ They walked for in silence for a couple of minutes when 3 decided to break the tension with, _"You just admitted that a book is your best friend, you're such a nerd."_ She teased.

"You're a nerd! You're a book that can turn into a person!" Dipper shot back as they laughed and went deeper into the forest and found themselves in front of a cave.

Dipper hid behind a rock and asked, "Okay, where are we?"

3 looked through her pages and said, _"We're at the layer of the Gremlobin, half gremlin, half goblin. If you look into their eyes, you'll be driven into insanity via your worst nightmares."_ They were silent for a minute when 3 asked, _"Scary enough?"_

Dipper just grinned and held up the flail and net with 3 holding up a knapsack and taser.

* * *

><p>They snuck into the cave, Dipper to the ground with 3 climbing up the ceiling with the help with stalactites. They soon found a slumbering Gremlobin nearby, Dipper readied the flail near its head while 3 prepped her taser and leapt down, tasing the beast in the stomach shocking it awake and disorientating it. While it was stunned, Dipper whacked it, dead center of its head and knocking it out.<p>

"That was surprisingly easy." Dipper said, High-Fiving 3 as they looked at the KOed monster.

"_Knocking it out is the easy part; it's the dragging a 300+ pound beast into a sack and dragging it back to Mabel is the hard part." _3 said, holding and huge sack up and indicating the monster, Dipper groaned as they stiffed it into the sack and they began the long journey back to the Shack where Mabel was waiting outside.

"Mabel! We captured something! This is gonna blow those tourists away! Ha ha!" Dipper yelled when they got into ear shot. The Gremlobin, by that time had woken up, tried to eat Dipper's arm which caused Dipper to punch it with 3 clawing at it until it reluctantly let go.

"Marvelous work, valued employees! Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?" Mabel asked exaggeratedly to the hiding Soos.

"Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more um…" He stepped out and 3 covered Dipper's eyes as he was only wearing his tighty whites. "Revealing than I expected?"

"_Soos! Put some clothes on! You look like a pervert!"_ 3 shouted.

Mabel gave 3 a warning glance and turned back to Soos, "Don't mind Polaris, Soos. Don't give up, anything is possible when you…imaginize it!" She said, after consulting her business book.

"But I don't know what that means."

"_That's because it's not!"_

"Ssh." Mabel put a finger on both of Soos's and 3's lips. "Ssshssssshshsshsssh." She rubs her fingers over their faces to 3's ire and Soos's confusion. "Believe in yourself..." She walks away from the shivering Soos to so into the shop.

"Bu-but I...! So-so cold..."

3 glanced at Dipper, who shrugged and the two started to drag the monster into the shop, passing by an angry woman and a sobbing kid when a jar smashed into the back of 3's head.

"3-I mean Polaris! Are you alright!?" Dipper shouted in alarm, placing a hand on the hissing 3's head, gently.

"Oh God! Aris are you alright!?" Wendy said in concern while a guilty looking Nate and Lee stood nearby. 3 stood up and whirled to the two teens with a deadly aura and growled.

"_**You Have 5 Minutes To Live." **_She grabbed Dipper's mace and chased the two terrified teens out of the shop.

"Status Update: Murderous Tween about to Kill Lee and Nate, Not Sure what to Feel." 3 heard from Tambry as she plotted the teen's murders. After catching and beating the two teens she returned to the shack to help Dipper stuffs the Gremlobin into the cage and to lead the attraction tour with Dipper.

* * *

><p>"Ladies and Gentlemen! My name's Honest Dipper."<p>

"_And I'm Veracity Polaris." _3 said in a bow from near the covered cage

"And unlike my cheating uncle, I have something to show you that isn't a hoax! It nearly killed us getting him into that cage, behold, part Gremlin, part Goblin, the Gremlobin!" Dipper and 3 pulls the cover off the cage. To reveal the Gremlobin in its full glory in the light, it roars and spits out a human skeletonized arm.

"Well that's fun." The man said, clearly thinking the arm was fake.

Woman frowned and fake whispered to her husband, "Its fake, honey. You can see the strings." _Are they morons!?_ 3 thought from behind her fake smile. _Stan must've brainwashed them already._

"What!? Those aren't strings, that's body hair!" Dipper cried aghast.

"Oh, look at this dear. The Six-packalope." The woman interrupted, pointing at a fake creature to their aggravation.

The man laughed and took a picture, "Wordplay!" Dipper and 3 ran up to them and dragged them back to the Gremlobin.

"No, everything else here is fake. This is a real paranormal beast. Hey, fun fact about this little guy, if you look into his eyes, you can see your worst nightmare." The couple looked into its eyes and they glowed a sickly gold.

"Amazing, right? I work for tips." The couple collapsed, screaming in terror and they glanced at each other.

"_This was poorly thought out…"_

"Indeed." Dipper ran and called for the paramedics and an ambulance comes by to take them away.

"Thanks again for visiting! Uhh..."

"_Be sure to tell your friends in the psych ward! Um…"_

* * *

><p>They went back into the shop to find and overworked Mabel working by herself with no Wendy or Soos in sight. She finally got the people out of the store and collapsed against the counter as Dipper and 3 walked over.<p>

"Well, we just made two people go insane. How about you?" Dipper asked as he and 3 sat down on either side of an exhausted Mabel.

"I'm so tired. I gave Wendy the day off so I had to do her job." Mabel groaned.

"_Why? Was she sick?"_

"No…she wanted to hang out with Thompson and Tambry after 3 chased Nate and Lee away…she also might have said I was sounding like Stan."

"Well, maybe you need to start being a little bit tougher around here." Dipper suggested.

Mabel looked at her brother and shouted, "No way, that's what Stan would do! I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine."

At that moment the Gremlobin roared and smashed through the wall, causing the tourists to panic and run away screaming.

"What? How did he get out of his locked cage!?" Dipper yelled, shocked as 3 dragged the twins behind the counter.

Mabel looked guilty and said, "Well...I might have given him the key I stole from 3's pocket and gave it to him for his 5 minute break…"

"_Are you CRAZY!?"_ 3 yelled.

"YOU GAVE HIM A BREAK?!"

"He's an employee...sort of." Mabel said defensively. "In retrospect, it probably was a bad idea."

"We've got to round him up. Where's Soos?" Dipper asked looking for his man-child friend.

"He was stressed out so I told him to take a soothing nature walk."

"_Oh great."_ 3 said facepalming as the monster roared in anger and smashed another wall to drop a television which was showing Stan on _Cash Wheel._

'Ladies and Gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?' The host asked Stan who had $100,000.

Stan grinned at the camera and held up a shirt reading "Loser"

"See you tomorrow night, Mabel!" He taunted as the monster roared again and threw a Mayan calendar over to where 3, Mabel, and Dipper were hiding. 3 was about to snap when Dipper grabbed her arm and shook his head and dragged the girls to the living room when the creature was playing with Mabel's stickers.

"_Why didn't you let me attack him!? I can take care of it!"_

"It's too dangerous 3!"

"What do we do, then? He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!" Mabel demanded. Dipper looked at 3 who grudgingly returned to her book state.

Dipper turned to the Gremloblin page and said, "Uh, got it! When fighting a Gremlobin, use water..." Mabel ran over and splashed it with water.

"...only as a last resort as water will make him much much scarier! AH! Who writes sentences like that!?"

"_Oh, Father…"_ 3 sighed as it smashed the Coo-coo Clock and breaths fire.

"Don't worry, he's gotta leave eventually!" Dipper suggested, optimistic. A few hours later, the Gremlobin was playing with the singing fish, much to the kid's exasperation.

"Ughh, why doesn't he just leave?" Mabel groaned when the monster started to eat the money in the jar.

"Our profits!" She screamed, dodging 3's attempt to grab her and ran towards the Gremlobin.

"Mabel, wait!"

"_It's too dangerous!"_

"Stop, stop!" Mabel yelled, tearing out of its claws. The Gremlobin growled and snatched her forcing her to look into its eye.

"Don't look into his evil eye; you'll see your worst nightmare!"

"I wish we had an evil eye to show him! Oh no! Ahh…" Mabel began to scream in terror.

"Wait. Hey monster! Take a look at this!" Dipper grabbed a mirror, forcing it to look into its own eyes. It screams and smashes through yet another wall and knocks over the totem pole.

"Well at least he didn't do that much damage. Oh boy."

Mabel looks desperately at 3 and Dipper and held up the clock, "Dipper, 3, it's the third day! We've only got 7 hours to earn back our profits, or I've got to wear that loser shirt all summer!"

Wendy and a ragged Soos soon walk through the smashed wall.

"Hey guys! Am I nuts, or does this place look different?" Wendy asked, looking around.

"Wendy, Soos! Am I glad to see you? We've got a lot of work to do but if we hurry, we can still beat Stan!" Mabel said, running up to them.

"Uh, yeah. I've got a little headache so…maybe I should like, not work today." Wendy said, with a lazy air.

"And I actually just met this pack of wolves, and I think they're gonna like, raise me as one of their own, so I should really be at the den right now."

"_You two, lazy, good for nothing…"_ 3 growled, looking more feral.

"But-but..."

"But hey, see ya on Monday." Soos and Wendy head to leave and shadowed Mabel.

Soos came back over and pointed at the popsicles on the ground, "Uh, beat you dubs, is anyone gonna eat these?"

Mabel started to twitch angrily and breaks the pen she's holding.

"ENOUGH!" She screamed, reaching her breaking point with her lazy employee's. Soos and Wendy froze and turned around as Dipper gasps and 3 grins. "I have had it! I fought a monster to save this business, and this is how you repay me!? I'm gonna get an ulcer from your lollygagging!"

"Lollygagging?" Wendy questioned, nervous.

"Ulcer? You're acting...different." Soos looked a little freaked out.

"You shut your yaps! I've been doing everyone's job while you bums have been bleeding me dry!"

"But I-"

"No buts, except yours on the floor cleaning! Now quit loafing and get to work!" Mabel shouted, interrupting Wendy.

"Yes, Mabel."

"That's yes, BOSS!" She screamed slamming her fist on the counter and Stan's fez falls and lands on her head. She looks in the mirror and gasps, "Dipper, 3, what have I become?"

"What you had to, Mabel. What you had to." Dipper assured her.

"They were taking advantage of your kindness." 3 told her point blank. Mabel took a deep breath and steeled herself to yell.

"We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go people!"

* * *

><p>Mabel was outside directing a crane to repair the pole while 3 and Dipper helped Wendy cleaning up the shop. "Time is money, hard hat! You got complaints; file them with the complaint department! Ughh, my back. Dipper, 3, we've got tourists at 9 o'clock!"<p>

"But what do we show them? Real magic just freaks people out." Dipper asked.

"Figure something out, knucklehead!"

3 noticed Soos and dragged him towards the exhibits as Dipper dressed like Stan, complete with the combed back hair and eye patch.

"Ladies and gentle-tourists! This shack is filled with wonders, NEVER before seen by human eyes! Behold, the horrible GIANT QUESTION BABY!"

"Am I a man, am I a baby? These are legitimate questions." Soos said as the tourists gasped in horror.

"Have your picture taken with it for a buck. Uh, ten bucks. A hundred bucks!" Dipper said as the people started to literally throw money at 3 and fought to be first to take a picture with Soos.

"We put the fun in 'No refunds'." Dipper said waving as the tourists left.

"_Be sure to tell your friends."_

"How'd we do?" He asked walking in.

"We filled the whole jar!" Mabel said proudly.

"_But we have to minus the repair costs." _3 reluctantly pointed out. Mabel sighed and gave the jar to Dipper so he'd calculate how much they had left.

"Minus the money to replace all the furniture and supplies to fix the shack, that leaves us... one dollar." Dipper said sadly, looking at the single dollar.

"Tick-tock! Time's up, kids!" Stan said smugly from the doorway.

"Oh, no!"

"Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone." Stan said as he looked at Dipper's suit.

"How much did you beat us by?" Mabel asked miserably.

"I won $300,000! Well, I would've if I hadn't lost it all. Apparently that word can make you money." Stan admitted.

"So, wait. If you lost everything, then that means- Mabel! You won!" Dipper exclaimed happily to his sister.

"Whoo! We did it!" Soos and Wendy cheered

"_Excellent!"_

"Wait. What do we win again?" Soos asked.

"Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss?" Stan asked.

"No! No! Don't do that!" Mabel, Dipper, Soos, Wendy, and 3 all yelled at the same time, running up to Stan.

"Huh? What?" He asked, confused.

"Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This place was cuckoo bananas until I started barking orders at people like you." Mabel admitted giving Stan his fez back.

"Yeah, well, I got to admit, it's kind of nice to be back, ya know? Okay, okay, that's enough, get off of me! And Soos, Wendy get to work! Ahem. Please." Stan tried out, and then rubbed his chest. "Uhh! Still hurts."

3 then ribbed Dipper who glanced at her then remembered. He turned to his sister and said, "Mabel, didn't your agreement say something about Stan having to do some kind of apology dance if he lost?"

"N-no. No, it didn't." Stan stuttered.

"Actually, yeah, I think I have it in my notes here." Mabel said smugly, holding up a note book.

"No! That never happened!" Stan denied.

"_De Nile isn't only a river in Egypt." _3 said, crossing her arms.

"Word play!" Dipper said, High-Fiving 3 and Mabel.

"Ha ha! I'll get the camera!" Wendy called from the doorway.

"All right, let me just—" He attempted to escape.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel shouted as she and 3 chased after him. 3 paused by the door way, and grabbed the flail and threw it to knock him out.

* * *

><p>They forced him into a hideous orange, sequin jumpsuit and forced him to dance up to 29 times now.<p>

"Uhh. Look, I'm not gonna—" Stan said, tiredly.

"Do it!" Mabel shouted from her director's seat.

"I'm Stan, and I was wrong/I'm singing the "Stan Wrong Song" I shouldn't have taken that chance/Now here's my remorseful dance/"

"Do the kicks! Jazzier!" She ordered when he half-heartedly kicked and his fez fell off and the goat attempted to eat it.

"Hey, gimme that! Ow! My back!" Stan groaned, trying to get it from its mouth.

"What do you think?" Mabel asked looking at Waddles who oinked.

"Take 30!"

"Awhahah…" Stan groaned.

_"I know I should feel guilty…but this is too funny!"_ 3 said to Dipper, who nodded.


	20. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3 thinking

"_Talk"-_ 3 speaking

* * *

><p>Fight Fighters<p>

It was a slow day at the Mystery Shack, so Stan decided to have a day off and Soos showed them to the Gravity Falls arcade.

"This is it dudes, my favorite place in Gravity Falls. Everything I know, I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross a street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance." Soos said, pointing at random games.

They found Old Man McGucket dancing on a dancing machine wildly, "Woo-hoo-hoo! I've been jigging here for 7 days straight!" He said happily while Mabel looked at the plug for the machine and had a sign saying it was Out of Order.

"Uh, Soos?"

"Let him have this."

"_Whatever makes the elderly happy, I guess."_ 3 shrugged, looking around the flashing lights and noise of the place.

They were walking around until 3 noticed a game called Fight Fighters and turned to ask Dipper if they wanted to play together but then frowned when she saw he was talking to Wendy.

"Woah! Cool! They have that old Fight Fighters game! Hey, Dipper want to play a game with me?" Wendy asked.

"Huh!? Y-Yeah, of-of course. Sure, sure that's cool Wendy!" Dipper said happily as they walked by a frozen 3.

"Heya Aris, want to play winner?" Wendy asked as they chose their fighters. _I wanted to play with Dipper…_3 thought as Dipper chose Rumble McSkirmish and Wendy chose Dr. Karate.

"Oh, oh, oh!"

"Watch out! Wow! Ooh, cut scene!" Dipper called.

'DR. KARATE, YOU KILLED MY FATHER AGAIN!'

"_Again?"_

'HHNNGHHHH!'

'YOU TAKE THAT BAAACKKKK!' Rumble yelled.

'Fight!'

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go! Go!" Dipper cheered happily as he won.

'K.O! The winner: Rumble McSkirmish! WINNERS DON'T LOSE!'

"What? You cheated." Wendy said playfully.

Dipper imitated Rumble and called, "YOU TAKE THAT BAAAACK! Hahaha."

"_Is it my turn?"_ 3 asked, cutting in.

"Sorry Aris, winner is best out of two of three." Wendy said apologetic as 3 sighed.

'Round 2!'

"I'm gonna punch the ref." Wendy declared.

'Fight!'

"Let's gang up on him." Dipper said as they tried all their combo moves on the ref, but nothing happened.

"Hahaha." They laughed together to 3's envy and was about to cut in again when Robbie brushed past her.

"Out of the way, squirt. Wendy! What's up, babe? Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie." Robbie told Wendy disinterestedly, cutting in-between Dipper and Wendy.

Dipper glanced at the poster, "Are you wearing mascara?"

"Uh, it's eye-paint for men." He said defensively.

"_So basically you're mother's mascara."_ 3 deadpanned as Wendy laughed.

"BURN!" She called High-Fiving 3 and Dipper sent her a gratefully smile that made 3 conflicted. On one hand she defended Dipper, on the other she's allowing them to hang out.

Robbie was about to tear into 3 but then stopped. He had heard about what she did to Nate and Lee and didn't want to direct her ire on him so he went for the easier target.

"Ha! Getting your girlfriend to fight you're battles for you, squirt?" Robbie taunted.

"S-she's not my girlfriend! She's just my friend that happens to have two X chromosomes." Dipper said defensively as 3 glared at Robbie.

Wendy sensing the tense atmosphere, tried to direct it into a less lethal area.

"Hey Robbie, Dipper was just showing me this great game-"

"Ha, yeah, sweet, sweet." Robbie cut her off and shooed away Dipper, "Hey, how about you sit this one out, ok champ? Go spend time with your girlfriend."

"But, we just started this round." Dipper protested.

"Woah, woah, hey! Relax man; I'm just trying to spend a little time with MY girlfriend, alright?"

"It'll just be one round." Wendy said, trying and failing to mediate.

'Round 3! Fight!'

Wendy and Robbie started to play together when Wendy said, "So hey, I'm gonna go camping around with my dad so, I won't be around."

"Oh, cool, cool, watch out!" He said not listening to her; he puts his arm over Wendy's shoulder and glares at Dipper and 3 who glared right back.

'Opponent sighted! Fight!'

"_You can say that again."_

* * *

><p>Stan, Dipper, 3, Mabel and Soos returned to the Shack and decided for a round of poker.<p>

"King me!" Mabel called revealing her hand which has 2 kings.

"Aww! Come on!" The boys groaned.

"It's not fair; she doesn't even know what we're playing!"

"Go fish?" Mabel asked.

Abruptly electric guitar starts playing outside the shack.

"Dude, I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head." Soos announced, holding his head.

"Try blinking to see if you can change the channel." Mabel suggested.

Robbie's voice is then heard, "Weeendy!"

"Ugh, sounds like Robbie." Dipper groaned in disgust.

"Robbie? Is he that jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time?" Stan asked.

"He called me "Big Dude" once. I mean, I know I'm a big dude, but it kind of hurt." Soos admitted, hurt.

"Should I sic Waddles on him again?" Mabel asked, placing a hand on top of his head and Waddles started to chew on her sweater.

"Whoa, easy tiger." She giggled.

Robbie got particularly loud when Dipper got up, fed up with the jerk, "I'll handle it." And walked out the door as Stan, Soos, and Mabel said.

"Ooooooh!"

"Ha ha, conflict!" Stan smiled proudly as 3 glanced at Dipper then at her cards.

"_Hey Mabel!"_ She lays down her cards which were 4 Aces and a King, _"Checkmate_!" She got up and ran after Dipper as the two men groaned. She caught up to Dipper just as he walked up to the oblivious teen.

"Wendy! Wendy, Wendy! Wendy! C'mon out, girl! C'mon down!" Robbie called.

"_Contrary to your hormonal addled brain, Wendy isn't a dog, you jerk." _3 said as they came over and shut off the amp.

"You do realize she's not here, right?" Dipper pointed out.

"_Of course since you're her boyfriend, you should know that little tidbit."_ 3 said coldly folding her arms.

"Yes! ...What?" Robbie scoffed.

"She's out camping with her family today." Dipper said aloofly as he whispered to 3, "And if he listened to her for once he'd know that."

"What was that?!" He demanded angrily.

"I-just said she's not here."

"No, no, no! What you told your little girlfriend!"

"S-She's not my-"

"You want to get into it, huh? Let's get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my girlfriend, don't you? Don't you?!" Robbie accused.

"What? No! C'mon, man!"

"Yeah, I'm sure she's just DYING to ask out a 12-year old kid who wears the exact same shorts every day. Hey, here's an idea: why don't I call her right now and see if she wants to go out on a date with you?" Robbie said cruelly as he opened his cell.

"Hey! Look-Don't! You don't have to-" Dipper protested as 3 stepped in.

"_Maybe she will since she'll know that you're a big, strong man picking on two 12-year-old's that saved your ass when you'd would've abandoned your acquaintances! Also that same shorts comment is rich coming from the guy who doesn't shower or wear the same hoodie all the time!"_ 3 yelled.

"Stay out of this!" Robbie snarled, pushing 3 down.

"Leave her alone!" Dipper roared.

"Leave her alone!" Robbie taunted and held up his phone, "What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?"

Wendy then picked up, "Hello?"

Dipper angrily tackled Robbie in the stomach, winding him and pushing him down, Dipper snatched up the phone and threw away, breaking it.

"My phone!"

"Are you alright, Polaris?" Dipper asked in concern as he helped 3 up then he was snatched by the back of vest to come face to face with a red faced Robbie.

"You little shit!" He roared in his face as Dipper cringed.

"I-I'll buy you a new one!"

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy!" He snarled as he drew back to hit Dipper when 3 smashed into the back of his legs, causing them to fall into a pile of limbs. Dipper and 3 scrambled away from the infuriated teen that was prepared to lunge at them again when they heard Stan yell from the window.

"Hey! I know a fight when I see one! Stay right there!"

Robbie spat out some grass he got in his mouth and glared at the two, "You. You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock. We'll finish this." He stalked away as Stan came out with popcorn.

"Aww, he's gone! I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets! The smart money's on Skinny Jeans. Through odds do favor earring girl." Stan groaned eating some popcorn as 3 and Dipper went back into the house.

* * *

><p>"What was I thinking?! I can't fight! I've never been in a fight before! Look at these noodle arms!" Dipper said frantic as he paced around the living room.<p>

"Just bonk him over the head! It's nature's snooze button!" Stan suggested.

"_Or kick him in the family jewels or taser him. Or, preferably tase him in the family jewels."_ 3 said darkly, powering up her taser menacingly as Soos and Stan crossed their legs in fear of the 12 year old.

"Boys! Why can't you learn to hate each other in secret? Like girls do!" Mabel asked.

Stan began to snicker, "Sure, listen to your sister! Maybe you can share dresses too! Ahahah, BOOM!" He then quieted when he noticed 3 powers up her taser a notch as she looked at him.

"Maybe he'll just forget about it. Maybe it'll all blow over." Dipper asked, hopefully.

"I don't know, Dipper. Teenagers are dangerous; those hormones turn them into like, killing machines!" Soos said, crushing Dipper's hopes.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, dude. My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think, killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it."

"_That means he's alive, Soos."_ 3 said, sighing.

"I can't stay here! What if Robbie comes back!? I gotta hide!"

"Look, kid. You got yourself a choice here. You can either go face him like a man, or you can hide indoors like a wimp. What'll it be?" Stan asked as Dipper ran out the door with 3 chasing after him.

* * *

><p>She soon found Dipper half-heartedly playing the Fight Fighters game.<p>

"Hey…want to play that game I owe you?" He asked, noticing her as she chose a female fighter called, Lass E. Rater and fought Dipper.

"Argh! I just don't know what to do 3!" Dipper finally groaned as they knocked each other out.

"_We have no choice."_

"I know. It's just that Robbie's twice our size. I mean, what will getting myself killed accomplish?"

"_Then let me handle it."_ 3 offered soothingly as her mouth stretched out and she grew her claws.

"No."

"_But-!"_

"Robbie's a jerk, but you shouldn't kill him. Besides, he's already proved that he won't hesitate to hurt you when you're in your normal form. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Dipper, I'm made out of paper, not glass."

"I know that! But I felt helpless when he pushed you down and well, it's a male pride thing. Besides this fight won't happen. I just need to hide here until 3 o'clock passes."

"Relax, Dipper. Just try not to think about Robbie." 3 said quietly, cheering to herself for Dipper's concern.

Dipper glances over at Robbie's band posters declaring that 'You're Dead!" and groaned, banging his head on the controls. They started another game with 3 beating him.

'A WINNER NEVER RUNS AWAY FROM A FIGHT!' The game declared.

"That's easy for you to say, you have more than one life. Ugh, I wish one of these guys would fight Robbie for me." Dipper said to 3, who shrugged as he was about to place another quarter in when he drops it and paused.

"_What's wrong?"_

"There's something written on the side…" Dipper said as he rubbed from dust away, "Huh? To unleash ultimate power? I do like things that are ultimate."

"_It must be a cheat code for the game."_ 3 deducted. _"Let's try it out."_

Dipper played a solo game and chose Rumble again, "Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward, down, hold, quarter circle, forward, triple punch!" The machine blacks out. "I guess it didn't work."

"_Maybe it's a reset code?"_ 3 asked as the screen flared back to life.

'SELECT YOUR CHARACTER!'

"Uhhh... Rumble McSkirmish?" Dipper said, unsure when the light turned blinding and the videogame character came out of the game.

"KickkickkickkickKICK!" Rumble shouted as he entered the real world and punching the floor.

"_WHAT THE!?"_

"Whoa! You're real?" Dipper said in wonder as he gazed up at his favorite character and held his hand up

"HIGH FIVE!" They both yelled.

"Ow! Your pixels are really sharp! Ugh!" Dipper said, looking at his hand.

"GREETINGS, CHILD-BOY! I AM RUMBLE MCSKIRMISH, FROM THE U.S.A! PUNCH! KICK! PUNCH! KICK!" Rumble yelled, spin kicking Dipper's face.

"_Are you okay?! Oi Meathead! Be careful!"_ 3 yelled at the Shrinking Skirmish.

"Ow! Easy there, Polaris is so cooool!"

Rumble walked past them and noticed the change machine, "CHANGE MACHINE! CHANGE ME INTO A POWERFUL WOLF! HWAAAAH!" He yelled, destroying it.

Dipper turned to 3 and grinned, "This is perfect! With Rumble around, Robbie will be so scared; I won't even need to fight him. I've got the world's greatest fighter to be my bodyguard!"

3 watched Rumble shout for some power ups and flashed red. _"You may be right…But I wonder…who carved that code into the machine…" _3 asked as she looked at the code.

"It is strange." Dipper admitted.

"Someone must've did this once, may be-" 3 was cut off when Rumble grabbed the two of them by the scruff of their necks.

"LITTLE CHILDREN! PLEASE DIRECT ME TO THE NEAREST POWER-UPS!" Rumble demanded.

* * *

><p>They glanced at each other and shrugged. They lead him back to the Shack and into the kitchen with 3 at the table, Dipper at the frig and Rumble was fighting a…fly.<p>

"Well, we don't have any traditional power ups: turkey legs, pizza boxes, or gold rings. How about... half a taco?"

"Place it, on the floor." The taco glowed and disappeared with a ding and a menu appeared in midair, showing power ups.

"I wish I could do that!" Dipper said in amazement.

"_It would be convenient on our monster hunts."_ 3 agreed.

Rumble then turned to them, "Now I must defeat the world's greatest fight-fighters. Take me to the Soviet Union! Or those monster's Child-Girl mentioned!"

3 grinned maliciously, "Why yes, I do know this colony of gnomes that-"

"No, no razing gnomes."

"Spoil sport." 3 groaned, sticking out her tongue as Dipper turned to Rumble, "That's gonna be tough...for a number of reasons. But I do know a fighter here in Gravity Falls."

"Maximum Power?" Rumble asked confused.

3 handed Rumble Robbie's band poster as Dipper told Rumble about Robbie, "His name is Robbie V. and he's kind of like my arch enemy."

"Did he kill your father?" Rumble asked.

"Well he's dating the girl I like and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates. He also hurt Polaris over there and I don't want her hurt." Dipper finished, pointing at 3.

Rumble crumples the poster angrily, "And then he killed your father!"

"Uh, sure. Anyway, I was hoping you could, you know, scare him off for me so I don't have to fight the guy."

"Hahaha! Your question makes my shoulders bounce! Fire ball!" He shoots a fireball at the window, and then did a complicated technique, "Uppercut! Downer-cut! Bowl of PUNCH!" He drinks and smashes a punch bowl.

"So you'll protect me from Robbie?" Dipper asked smiling hopefully

"Challenge accepted! Press start!" rumble said as a start button appears out of thin air in front of Dipper. He pressed the button as they heard the door open from somewhere in the house.

"Uh oh, I think I hear my uncle. Stay perfectly still! I said stay still."

Rumble was still rocking back and forth, "This is as still as I can stay!" They sighed and lead Rumble up the stairs to find Mabel and Waddles already there.

"Hey Mabel. Have you met Rumble yet? He's my new bodyguard."

"_We summoned him with a cheat code."_

"The boy-child gave me a taco!"

"Wow! He's got a crazy voice! Here, say these words." Mabel exclaimed as she writes words on a piece of paper and hands them to Rumble.

"Effer...vescent! Apple. Fritter! RIBOFLAVIN!" Rumble yelled.

"Mabel, he's not a toy, he's a fighting machine. I'm gonna get him to defend me from Robbie."

"_He is also a video game, not a toy."_

"Isn't that kind of like cheating?" Mabel asked.

"_Robbie is double our height and stronger than us."_ Mabel looked at her curiously and continued, _"Dipper refuses to let me fight."_

"I just don't want anything to happen to you. Well, we'll see you after the fight." Dipper said as he, rumble and 3 left Mabel alone in the attic as Rumble continued to read.

"POOP! POOP AND BUTTS!"

* * *

><p>They lead Rumble into town as Rumble asked Dipper, "Tell me my opponent's special moves."<p>

"_He has a noxious body odor and breath. He is also very manipulative, using any situation to make himself look good. His special attacks include skinny jeans and a horrible singing voice."_

"Don't worry. As soon as he sees you, he's gonna wet his skinny jeans." Dipper said, chuckling.

"His wet jeans and body odor will be no match FOR THIS!" Rumble declared as he picks up a metal pipe and whips it around.

"Whoa! Where'd that come from?" Dipper and 3 asked as he showed them a pipe they didn't notice.

"I punched an oil drum!"

"Trust me, you won't need that. Just give him a good scare." Dipper assured nervously.

"Yes..." He bent over and picks up a katana lying in the middle of the street. "WITH THIS!"

"This street has really dangerous litter." Dipper said, bewildered.

"_Let's hope he doesn't find an abandoned H-bomb."_ 3 said as Rumble picked up a random bazooka.

They found Robbie waiting on the back of the bench as the bell tower rings three times. "Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up! I thought two chickened out. You ready to settle this like men and a little girl?" He jeered.

"Look dude, I don't think you want to fight me. Let's just call this thing off before someone gets hurt."=

"Ha, you scared, huh? Is that it?"

"_No, you should be."_

"Okay, dude! You asked for it!" Dipper said smugly as he snaps his fingers and Rumble comes out from behind and glares at Robbie.

"Who's your friend? And why is he... blurry?"

"This happens to be the greatest warrior that ever lived!"

"_And he's going to kick your skinny jean's butt!"_

"Yeah, right!" Robbie sneered and turned to Rumble, "Hey Eye Patch, what did these kid s promise you? More tape for your forearms? Ha ha ha!"

"HOW CAN YOU LAUGH, WHEN YOU KILLED THIS BOY'S FATHER AND ATTACKED THIS GIRL?!" Rumble yelled, jabbing his finger in Robbie's face.

"Wait, what?" Robbie asked confused.

"I'm giving you one last chance, back down, or this guy's gonna go nuts." Dipper said, giving Robbie one last chance to back out before they unleash Rumble on them.

"How 'bout YOU back down, kid?"

"_Have a nice time eating through a straw."_ 3 said, waving cheekily.

"You asked for it. Rumble? Go!"

"Ha ha ha! What the?" Robbie yelled as he ducked Rumble's fist and started to run, he didn't get far as Rumble grabbed him. "WHOA! Hey! What's happening?" He screamed.

"I didn't wanna have to do this, man, but you gave me no choice. Maybe now, if you-" Dipper was cut off when Rumble slammed Robbie violently into the ground, laughing as Robbie spat out some dirt.

"Whoa! Rumble! You can stop! I think Robbie's had enough-"

"_H-He's down, Rumble!"_

"RUMBLE..." He tosses Robbie high in the air, "THROW!"

"STOP! I SAID STOP!"

"_YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!"_

Robbie landed painfully on the jungle gym, "Hey! What the- THAT GUY'S CRAZY!" Robbie cried out, pointing at Rumble.

"FIREBALL!" He yelled and destroyed the bars and Robbie flees.

"What the heck was that?! You were only supposed to scare him, you almost killed him!"

"_You went too far!"_

"I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE MAN WHO DISHONORED YOU TWO IS DESTROYED!" Rumble declared, punching Robbie's band poster and runs after him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGG!" He jumps up and punches an electric pole, "PUNCH!"

"This isn't good." Dipper whispered horrified.

"_We got to stop him!"_

* * *

><p>They chased after him, following the trail of destruction and arrived at Barrels and Crates Inc. "Something told me this would be his first stop." Dipper said as Robbie ran out of windows and down the fire escape with Rumble right after him and throwing barrels after Robbie.<p>

"Chill out man! Just chill out!" Robbie screamed as he jump over the barrels/

"Please, Rumble! You gotta stop!" Dipper pleaded as the scene turned in to a Donkey Kong like scene and Robbie escape towards the docks.

"Rumble wait!" Dipper yelled.

"_Come on!'_ 3 called, dragging Dipper after them.

"Punch punch punch!"

"You don't have to do this! At least pace yourself..." Dipper called as he slowed down, breathing heavily, clutching his still healing wound. "You might get a cramp-Ah!" 3 stopped and returned to Dipper's side.

"_Are you alright? Is it the wound?"_

"I-gasp-I'm fine."

"_No, you could pass out if you continue. I'll chase after Rumble, you rest."_ She turned to leave when Dipper grabbed her sleeve, shaking his head.

"No, I caused this from being a coward, I'm gonna end it." He said, using 3 to steady himself and continued the chase, running past a ruined car and a father comforting his son.

"We'll just buy another one."

"I love being rich."

They managed to catch up as Rumble destroyed a barbeque and 3 forced Dipper to rest for a minute and drink some water before returning to prevent Robbie's murder. They were losing ground when Soos pulled up next to them, wearing an arcade game casing.

"Soos! Where you been?" Dipper panted.

"Uh, long story, man. Dude, you guys see that video game guy tearing up everything in sight? Ha ha! That's crazy!"

"Yeah, I kind of sort of brought him to life to be my bodyguard. But now I have to stop him before he kills Robbie!"

"You need an amiable sidekick with a pickup truck?"

"You know I do." Dipper grinned as he and 3 got inside.

"_You're the best, Soos!"_

They finally managed to corner Rumble at the Water tower.

"CHALLENGER SIGHTED!"

"Time to save the day, dude." Soos said, turning to 3 and Dipper.

"YOU CAN HIDE, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!"

"Rumble! This has to stop! Please! Listen to me!" Dipper begged as Rumble kicks the tower, making it lean dangerously to the side when they heard Mabel scream from above.

"What's happening?!"

"Oh boy..." 3 heard Stan mutter.

"We're safe, right?"

"Of course not! This thing is on stilts! High high up!"

"Rumble stop! Are family is up there!" 3 shouted as Robbie fell of the tower as Rumble caught him.

'FINISH HIM!' A voice came from above.

"_Oh God, not Mortal Combat." _

"No no no, don't! Don't finish me!" Robbie begged as Rumble gathered energy to finish him off when Dipper hit him with a coin.

"HWUUUUAAAAAAAAA?!"

"RUMBLE! Rumble! I have something to tell you! Robbie... Robbie didn't kill my father."

"HUUUUUUHH? THEN WHO DID?"

"What? No one. I-I lied to you. Though Robbie did harm 3- I mean, Polaris." Dipper admitted.

"HWUUUHH? WELL THEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY A...BAD GUY!"

"I guess I'm kind of am..."

Rumble turned away after hanging Robbie by his hood in a tree a cut scene appeared, "My entire journey, a lie! My honor has been disgraced! Sensei warned me not to join the path of evil... the boy has led me astray! If Robbie V. is not the last stage, then it must be…" He whirled to 3 and Dipper.

"YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!" A START button appears next to Dipper as Soos ran over.

"Don't fight him, man! That guy's got like a black belt wrapped around his black belt. You could get killed!"

"I have to. I started all this and I've got to at least try to stop it."

"_Dipper, please, I'm begging you. Let me do this_!" 3 implored desperately.

"You sure you wouldn't rather hide like a wimp?" Soos asked hopefully, but Dipper ignores them and hits START.

"Fight like a man it is."

"_Please…don't die…"_

* * *

><p>Game announcer from the sky yelled, "READY?" as Dipper and Rumble's health bars filled up and Soos readies his camera.<p>

"FIGHT!"

They both charged at each other screaming and Rumble called out.

"FIREBALLTHROWLIGHTNINGBALLTHROW! FIRE!" He throws it... and it misses Dipper, Rumble follows through and kicks him, making his health go down.

"HAHAHA! YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL! WHO IS ALSO A BABY!"

"_How rude!"_

Dipper ignores the pain and runs up to him and uppercuts him as Soos said in slow motion.

"DUUUUUUUUDE!" As Rumble fell on the ground and his health decreases by 1%.

"Oh no." Dipper quickly got out of way as Soos tried to lower Rumble's health bar by waving at it.

"Eh. Eh. Well, it was worth a shot." He said as Rumble blasted at Dipper as he climbed a tree.

"NO! I HAVE NO LOOKING UP! ANIMATION! AAAAAAAAAAA..." He falls flat to the ground trying to look up.

Dipper laughed and jumped down. "So, what should I do, roll him up and put him on my wall?"

"Dude, we should rock paper scissors for him!"

"_Don't count your chickens before they hatch boys."_

Rumble got up and yelled as he rained punches on, to 3's horror, Dipper, "FIST! PUNCH! RAAAAAIIIIINNNN! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THAT I HAVE PUNCHES! HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX... COMBO!"

A small twinkle of light appears on a black screen, and then a mushroom cloud shaped like a fist appears and Dipper landed beaten and bloody on the ground. "You, sir, truly are the greatest fighter ever."

"RUMBLE WINS!" The Game Announcer yelled.

"WINNERS DON'T LOSE!"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, man." Dipper coughed up blood and 3 snapped as he pasted out.

"FINAL SUPER EXTRA SPECIAL UBER BOSS BATTLE UNLOCKED!"

"WHAT!?" Rumble shouted in surprise as he looked around him to find a bazooka in his face and was fired, clearing him into the forest.

3 turned to Soos who was tending Dipper with a black aura and shadowed face and said in a cold, emotionless voice, "_**Tend To Him."**_

* * *

><p>3 leaped up and sprinted to where Rumble landed. Rumble got up and turned to see 3 in her Snapped form, her eyes were red and her sclera was black and her skin now had black blotches.<p>

"_**Dipper may have been the final stage, but I'm the Final Boss."**_

"YOU'RE THE FINAL BOSS!?"

"_**That is correct. You've harmed the one still recovering from a previous injury and under my protection. Now I'll reduce you to Binary Code, regardless of Dipper's respect for you, Rumble McSkirmish."**_

"SO IT WASN'T THE BOY'S FAULT I WAS LEAD ASTRY! BUT YOUR'S!" Rumble declared, pointing at 3.

"_**No, I believe it was multiple factors that lead to this. But, regardless I will not let you live. There is no Dipper here to prevent your death, unlike last time."**_

"READY?" The announcer yelled as the forest fell away to show a black hole background with constellations being drained into it with the Big Dipper at the very top of the black hole. 3's and Rumble's health bars appeared with 3 getting a whopping 4 health bars.

"FIGHT!"

3 teleported in front of Rumble and stabbed him and tore his torso upwards, throwing him down and he lost 23%

Rumble got up and yelled, "FIRELIGHTFIREBALL!" and blasted at 3

"Ink armor." She said calmly as her skin turned totally black and blended into the background, and started to rotate around Rumble, only appearing for a split second when she pasted by the constellations.

Rumble waited for her to get close then yelled, "FIST! PUNCH! RAAAAAIIIIINNNN!" She was only pushed back a little and her bar only went down 0.5%.

3 raised a hand and brought it down, plunging them into darkness.

As Rumble whirled around desperately he heard 3's cold voice.

"_**Scared? McSkirmish afraid of the dark?"**_

"NEVER, A WINNER HAS NO FEAR!"

"_**Really? To tell you the truth, I'm scared right now. I'm terrified of the dark and being alone. I've spent 30 years in a small cramped space with no one to talk to but the spiders that squeezed in. 30 years…until, Dipper, the boy you've beaten mercilessly found me and rescued me from the dark! If he wished it, I would gladly sacrifice myself so he would live! He would only need to say the word. I WILL DEFEND HIM TO MY DYING BREATH!"**_ 3 yelled as the black hole was replaced by a super nova that blinded Rumble.

A massive explosion took over the area, destroying everything in its path, decimating Rumble's heath bar as it drew back to reform a new star that illuminated 3 as she hovered over him and raised her claws.

"_**Game Over."**_ And struck as the announcer echoed.

"GAME OVER!"

"HEH?! NO! NOOOOOOO!" Rumble screamed as he disintegrated and 3 returned to Dipper's side as she wrote down DIP for high score entry.

"Game over, old friend." Dipper said, as 3 helped him sit up.

"Heh! Nice one, dude!"

"_**Quiet...Dipper, no back talk."**_ She snarled when he opened his mouth, _"I'm taking you to a hospital right now, no arguments."_

Robbie walked over and asked helplessly, "What? Who-who-who was that guy?! Why is it that whenever you're around, there's always ghosts or monsters, or whatever?!"

"I don't know, man." Dipper answered as 3 looked guiltily at him.

"That guy almost broke my neck! You know how mad I am right now?!" Robbie yelled in his face as 3 hissed.

"So I guess you and I have to fight now, huh? Go ahead, man. Do your worse. I just want to get this over with."

"Oh, man! I am so gonna enjoy this! Aren't you gonna run?" Robbie asked when he didn't flinch at the sight of his fist.

"Nope."

"... Are you sure?" he said hesitantly.

Dipper nodded.

Robbie paused and dropped his fist in disgust, "Pfft! It's not even worth it! I play lead guitar so I gotta save my hands."

Wendy then comes over and said, "Hey guys! I heard some crazy screaming back here."

"Wendy!?" The boys cried in surprise.

"You're back!"

"Yeah, man. Whoa! What the heck happened here? Freak tornado or something?" Wendy asked, surveying the destruction.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"And why are your faces all jacked up? You guys weren't fighting each other, were you? I hate it when guys fight." Wendy said angrily.

"No! Fighting?"

"Why would we be fighting? Never!"

"Yeah, we actually fell over trying to stop two other guys from fighting each other." Dipper lied for the both of them.

"Cool! It really makes me happy to see my two boys hanging out. I got some unpacking to do. I'll text you guys later." She kisses Robbie on the cheek, ruffles 3's hair and pats Dipper, then leaves.

"Did you hear that? She called me one of her two boys!" Dipper said happily.

"She was looking at me, though." Robbie scoffed

"Look, Robbie, If we're stay at each other's throats, we're both gonna lose Wendy. We need to make a cold war pact."

"Okay. What's that?"

"_Pick up a History Book, tool."_

"We need to learn to hate each other, in silence." Dipper cut in.

"You mean like, what girls do?"

"Yeah, exactly! What girls do."

* * *

><p>They went back to the Mystery Shack, gathered around Wendy who was brushing her hair.<p>

"So, then I told Thompson, 'Hey, save some for the rest of us!'"

"Ha! Good one, Wendy! That's great!" The boys agreed.

"Aw, man. Just a sec." She bent over and Dipper and Robbie growled at each other, making violent gestures at one another and 3 shocked Robbie, lowest setting.

Wendy stood back up and they went to normal, "So as I was saying..."

3 just shook her head and adjusted her taser settings, just in case Robbie's hormones get out of control.

She meant it when she said she'll defend him, no matter what.

Though she couldn't help wonder who wrote that code in the first place.


	21. Chapter 18

Journal 18

Disclaimer: don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk-_thinking

"_Talk"-_3 talking

**A/N: Just to make things clear from last chapter, 3 CAN'T warp reality or plunge the world into darkness. The black hole scene change was just the video game world responding to 3's fractured sanity and anger to create an epic back drop as she reduced Rumble to 1's and 0's like in regular final boss battles. As for the nova…well I'll leave that up to you.**

* * *

><p>Boyz Crazy<p>

It was a slow Saturday evening at the Mystery Shack as 3, Dipper, and Wendy were sitting in front of a TV playing security tapes and adding their own voice to it.

"Do you have this T-shirt in my size?" Dipper said in a false deep voice of a random tourist.

"I have something even better! Behold: My butt!" Wendy said, intimating Stan as he turned around to reach into the box. Dipper, 3, and Wendy laugh, the latter is holding a packet of chips.

"I could play this game forever." 3 heard Dipper whisper and she frowned as she stole some of Wendy's chips.

"What'd you say?" She asked, playfully slapping 3's hand.

"Coughing! I was coughing! Those weren't words!" He said quickly with a fake cough as Mabel appeared next to them, laughing at her brother's expense.

"This is fun, what you two have."

"Mabel? How long have you been standing there?" He asked, surprised.

"Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance! Do-do-do-do-do..." Mabel said, dancing from behind the counter.

"Oh, no! She got into the Smile Dip again!"

"_I'll get the plunger and funnel!"_

"Wrong one-thousand! It's because today is the greatest day of my life!"

"_You've finally found a sparkly vampire who likes to watch you sleep?"_ 3 asked, snatching some more chips.

Mabel throws a calendar at 3's face and it bounces off to slap Dipper's.

"_Oi!"_

"Ow!"

"Sev'ral Timez is playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet!" Mabel shouted excitedly.

"_Never heard of them." _3 said in disinterest.

"Ugh. Lucky. Sev'ral Timez is a boy band that came a decade too late that Mabel and a lot of other girl's love." Dipper explained to 3, he turned to his sister who has started dancing and said, "Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?"

"Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry." Wendy agreed.

"_They probably lip sing to the music and the main event are stunt dancers." _

"You're making my dance sad..." Mabel said as she stops dancing.

Dipper snorted, not impressed, "There's probably a machine that mass-produces them."

"Oh ho or maybe the boys are grown from pods."

"_Yeah, and it never the same boy's for every show, they replace them with clones after each show."_ 3 mocked as she, Dipper, and Wendy burst into laughter.

"Yeah, pods and clones, totally!" Dipper agreed with his friends

"You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got back up!" She declared as Candy and Grenda entered the shop.

"Hey guys!" Grenda called as they walked in.

"Woot-woot!" Candy cheered.

"Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives? How many times am I gonna love ya?" Mabel shouted as they all yelled together.

"Several times!" They laughed and ran off to the attic.

"Ugh. Girls." Dipper groaned.

"I know, right?" Wendy agreed as 3 nodded as Mabel and Grenda run through the "Employees Only" door. Candy runs right into the vending machine and smashes her glasses.

"I'm ok!" She called as she ran through the door.

"_I worry about them."_

The 3 turned back to the security feed to see Robbie walk into the shop and Dipper began mocking him.

"Hey is this the fingerless glove store? I like things that are dumb. I'm Robbie."

"_Oh dear, this isn't the store I get my mom's and my favorite make-up."_

This caused them to laugh as Wendy, said, still giggling, "C'mon man..."

Robbie then walked up to the counter and glared the 12-year olds. "Ha ha ha ha ha. Laugh it up, chief." He growled then turned to Wendy and said in a slick voice, "So Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too?"

Wendy glared at him and shouted, "Are you kidding me? First you stand me up last night! And instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?!" She said angrily and getting in his face.

Dipper grabbed 3 and started to drag her to the door saying, "I'll just be... over here..." He and 3 hid behind the door to eavesdrop on the fighting couple.

"Look, Robbie..." Wendy finally sighs and turned away, "I'm not sure this relationship's working. Maybe I should see other people."

Dipper grins and grabs 3 and Waddles, who was sitting behind him, and hugs the two tightly as 3 flushed.

"W-Woah h-hey! Before you do anything crazy, I- I uh... I want you to hear this." Robbie said quickly and turned away to grab a CD from an ominous looking case.

"I hope this works..." 3 heard Robbie mutter to himself. He pulls the CD close to his face, and it glistens. He smirks while his eyes shoot to Wendy behind him. Dipper raises an eyebrow and glanced at 3 who was narrowing her eyes at Robbie as he puts the CD in a nearby player.

"I wrote this song just for you..." He presses play and begins singing a song. "When I think about you/I feel feelings so deep/I'm tossing and turning/And you know I'm losing sleep…"

"Yeesh." Dipper groaned and 3 cringed as he sang a cheesy love song.

"And I know I'm going crazy/When I look into your eyes/Just listen to this song/And you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed."

Wendy turned around with a glazed look in her eyes then she rubbed them and said, "You know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance." She said with a soft smile and kisses Robbie's cheek. Dipper and 3 shared looks of disbelief.

"What…just happened?" He asked 3 who shrugged as Wendy passed them for her coat.

"_I don't know, I don't like it, and we're going to find out."_ 3 said darkly as they marched up to Robbie.

"Alright, Robbie we saw that weird CD. What the heck are you up to?" Dipper demanded as soon as they were in ear shot.

"It's called romance, kids. Something you'd guys will never understand." Robbie said smugly as they growled and Wendy came back out.

"You ready? I can't believe you wrote that for me." She gushed as he walked over.

"I know I'm just so insanely talented." Robbie said 'modestly' as they walked away and Robbie taunts them with a jaunty wave. 3 narrowed her eyes and grinned as she tased him on his behind, lowest setting of course.

"Yeow!" Robbie shrieked like girl.

"_Sorry! My finger slipped!"_ 3 said innocently as Dipper smirked.

"Why does the old man let you kids have freaken weapons!?" Robbie shouted, enraged.

"Relax, Robbie. It was an accident. Besides, Stan lets us girls have weapons to defend ourselves from anyone who threatens us if the guys aren't around. Aris has a taser, Mabel has a grappling hook, and I myself have an axe under the counter." Wendy told the now nervous Robbie.

"R-really?" He said sweating.

"Of course! Now let's get going!" They left and Dipper turns to the CD player and pulls out the CD Robbie left behind.

"Hm..." Dipper inspects the CD, sniffs it, and licks it to 3's confusion and Mabel and her friend's bafflement.

"What are you doing?"

"Guys, the weirdest thing just happened. I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music." Dipper told the girls, holding up the disc.

"Oh, Dipper. Girls just like musicians. You'll understand when you're older." Mabel said dismissively.

"We're the same age!" He shouted.

"Girls mature faster than guys. Right, Grenda?" Mabel said, turning to Grenda who was making out with a photo of a blonde boy curly hair and dark mustache.

"This is Grenda time!" She yelled and went back to kissing.

Dipper and 3 stares blankly at her as the girls leave, while 3 and Dipper looking suspiciously at the disc.

* * *

><p>"Maybe we should talk to Stan." Dipper announced, pocketing the disc.<p>

"_Yeah, he must've had some experience with hypnotism in his age."_ 3 agreed and found him in the kitchen with a lot of canned meat singing to himself.

"Stocking' meat for the apocalypse, Doodly-doo. We're all gonna die."

"_That's cheery."_ 3 deadpanned as she and Dipper walked in with the disc.

"What's with the matter, kid? You look even more freaked out than usual."

"Um, Grunkle Stan, can we ask you something about…this town." Dipper began hesitantly.

Stan sobered and pulled up chairs for them, "Try me."

"Ok. This is gonna sound weird, but think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music."

Stan nodded, eating from the can of meat and said, "I've seen this before."

"Really?"

"_What happened?"_

"Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla 'Hotpants' McCorkle. Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50's themed, 1970's diner. Then one day, this new age tree hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music. Carla's Hotpants turned into bellbottoms before I even knew what happened. My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist."

"So, wait... you actually believe my theory?" Dipper said hopefully

"_Do you think that hippie hypnotize her?" _

"You're darn right I do, though I could never prove it; but we're gonna get to the bottom of it." Stan declared as Dipper smiled at him.

"Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat." He said upturning the can and swallowing it.

"Om, nom, its apocolicious!"

* * *

><p>Stan lead the kids to the poker table and opened a can of soda to explain, "You see, Dipper, Polaris, music has subliminal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the Gift Shop has subtle hidden messages.<p>

3 and Dipper gave him a blank stare and 3 facepalmed, _"Stan, yelling into the intercom isn't subliminal, it's terrorizing."_

"Hey! You asked me missy!" He then pulled a record player onto the table and took the CD from Dipper, "If you wanna hear the mind controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record. Gimme that LP." He places the CD in the record player and starts discharges little sparks of electricity.

"Oh, right." Dipper muttered as 3 and Stan looked confused.

"We're doing' something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it..."

"_Maybe if we flip it over and it will play?"_ 3 asked, reaching for the disc when Dipper snatched it away. It was that moment that Dipper realized that 3 was about as Tech Savvy as Grunkle Stan. They were interrupted when Mabel, Grenda, and Candy came back, lugging an oversized duffle bag into the shack.

Dipper and 3 went over to greet them, "Hey, guys. How was the concert, and what's in the bag?"

"_What did you do? Kidnap the boy band?" _3 asked jokingly as the girls choked and started to sweat.

"NO!" Mabel screamed into 3's face. "It's... money! Money we stole! Definitely not a Boy Band!"

"We are criminals! We will cut you!" Candy agreed as they grabbed as they grabbed the bag.

"Let's go away from here now!" The girls pull and shove the bag up the stairs and with the bag yelping at every other step. Dipper, 3, and Stan watch them and look at each other questioningly.

"_That…was weird."_ 3 finally said as the males nodded. A car is suddenly heard screeching outside. 3 went outside to see Soos talking to a rather large man.

"_Hey Soos, what's up?"_ 3 asked as she went over to them.

Soos was cut off when the man got into her face and yelled, spittle getting in her face, "You! Where are they you harpy! Where are you and your fellow parasites hiding them?"

3 narrowed her eyes and yelled, _"STRANGER DANGER! OLD, FAT MAN IS IN MY PERSONAL SPACE!"_ 3 then tased him and hid behind the now protective Soos who was glaring at him. Gompers then bleats as he chews off man's license plate.

"Shoo! Shoo! Ehh..." The man yelled, shooing the goat away and enters his limousine and leaves, glaring at Soos suspiciously as he does so with the man child glaring back.

Gompers, with the license plate in his mouth, came over and sniffed Soos, "Good boy." He said petting him

3 reluctantly nodded, _"For once, your evil goati-ness helped."_ It started at her and she backed up a little. _"I'm not petting you." _

* * *

><p>For the rest of the night, 3 and the males had strange experiences. Stan swore he saw Mabel's boy band in the living room, but when he looked back, no one was there. Dipper mentioned seeing a bunch of blond guys having a water fight in the kitchen. 3 had the strangest one; she was walking into the living room when Mabel, Candy, and Grenda rushed past her, riding on a boy band. They decided that the record play indeed had a subliminal message that cause weird hallucinations and they dumped the Pitt Cola to try to crack the CD's code.<p>

Dipper, realizing that with two fossil's not as Tech Savvy as him, converted the CD into a record to use.

"Alright, it took all day but I converted it to a record. And now we can slow it down to see if the mind control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown."

"Spit-take here I come." Stan said, drinking from a new package of Pitt Cola. The record plays and Dipper slows it down, a tape man at the ready to record any hidden messages but nothing happened. Though in 3's opinion, it sounded better slowed down.

"Hm... that's not spit worthy. What gives?" Stan asked.

"What? Is that it?" He said, trying hard to hear a secret message but hearing nothing.

"Ugh! This was so stupid! Course there's no hidden mind control messages! Mabel was right. Wendy just likes the song. She just likes Robbie."

"She has such poor taste." 3 said as Wendy and Robbie enter the Shack and walked past them.

"Hey, Dip, Aris. Forgot my keys."

Robbie smirked at them, looking at the record player and tape recorder and figured out what they're trying to do.

"What's up, junior? What are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls who have no interest in you, like you?" He asked, laughing nastily.

Wendy then came back, "Ready to go to look out point?"

"Am I! Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind. I made that up." He said smugly over his shoulder as he and Wendy exited, not before 3 tased him again.

"OW!"

"_I was handling butter!"_

"I'll rewind your face!" Stan yelled, shaking his fist.

Dipper's eyes lit up and turned to Stan, "Wait a minute. Stan, 3, rewind!" Dipper manual turns the record backwards and this time another message can be heard.

'You are under my control. Your mind is mine.'

3's eyes widened as Stan spit take all over Dipper.

"Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!"

"_That jerk has reached a new low!"_ 3 yelled angrily.

Dipper was excited now, "Ha ha! I knew it! It's mind control after all!" Then Dipper realized and turned to his companions and yelled, "Oh no, we've got to save Wendy!"

"_Who knows what he will be tempted to do with her under his power!"_ 3 added as Stan's expression darkened then had a sadistic smile appear on his face.

"Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face. Let's roll!" He yelled and they ran to the car and gunned it.

"Okay, squirts where this look-out point place is?" Stan asked after 5 minutes of driving in a random direction.

"Wait you don't know?" Dipper asked.

"_Beats me."_ 3 shrugged.

* * *

><p>They stopped over at a teenager hideout and 3 and Dipper approached some of teens in front of hole in the wall.<p>

"HEY!" Dipper yelled when we came near them.

"We need directions to look-out point!" 3 continued as the teens laugh at them.

"Why? You kids are way too young for that why don't you two go to Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree and wait to you two are older." They cackled at them.

"You don't understand! Some jerk hypnotized our friend and might do something horrible!"

"Hahahaha! Yeah right kid, beat it and come back when you're older." The teens turned away until one of them cried out in pain. They whirled around to see 3 tasing one of their friends.

"_I don't think you heard us. We were politely asking you to give us directions. Now tell us where to go before I aim a little lower!"_ 3 said darkly.

The teens fell over themselves telling them and they were on the road again.

* * *

><p>"We gotta warn Wendy about the song before she gets hurt!" Dipper yelled at Stan as they broke a couple dozen traffic laws.<p>

"Road safety laws, prepare to get ignored!" He yelled turning into a blocked road that said no vehicles, rear-ended a tree, blocking the path again to the cliff face. They passed by numerous other cars, but didn't find the teens.

"What car did this punk drive again?" Stan yelled as he gunned it and the kids searched for the car.

"Look for a beat up, gaudy purple van!" Dipper yelled over his shoulder as they went deeper into the mountain. They finally found the car and yelled.

"Over there! They're over there!" They yelled pointing up on the cliff edge. Stan, Dipper, and 3 drives straight up the cliff edge to Lookout Point. Dipper and 3 ran out of the car while Stan falls out.

"Wha-o! Oof."

"Wendy!? Stop! Robbie's been lying to you!" Dipper yelled, running towards them.

"_He's nothing but a fraudulent pervert!"_

"What she said!" Stan called, getting up.

"Dipper? Aris?" She asked surprised and wide eyed.

Robbie was just as surprised, "Kids? Mr. Pines?"

"That's Mr. Pines to you!" He yelled and the kid stared at him blankly.

"What? That's what I just said..." He pointed out, a little annoyed.

Dipper and 3 ignored them and turned to Wendy, "Look, Wendy, you've got to hear this."

He pulls out the tape recorder and first played the regular recording of Robbie's song.

"Uh... There's a message in there. I swear!" Dipper said, laughing nervously as Robbie narrowed his eyes and reached for the window depressor.

"Let me just... close the window."

"Wait, wait! Here." He cried, raising the volume of the tape and it played.

'You are under my control. Your mind is mine.'

Wendy looked shocked as Robbie recoiled in fear. She turned to him and asked, "Woah. Robbie, what's that doing in our song?"

"Baby, I promise. I don't know anything about those messages. In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off some other band! So, we're all good, right?" He said, hopefully, not even the least repentant.

Wendy shook her head and looked hurt, "No, we're not all good! I don't care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar!" She screamed.

"I know, I know. I lie about a lot of stuff. Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although…"

"No! You know what? It's over, Robbie. We're through!" She declared and the Pines shared a grin.

"What?! Wendy!" He protested.

"Goodbye!" Wendy gets out and slams the van door.

"Ha-ha! We won! Kid, this is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument."

"_Serves him right!"_

"I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan. You to Polaris." Dipper said high-fiving them.

Wendy looked a little down and the kids walked over to her. "Hey Wendy are you alright? Do you want your axe or Polaris's taser?" Dipper asked as he held up her axe they grabbed from the shop.

"_Or pig out on ice-cream?"_

Wendy whirled on them with tears in her eyes and screamed at them. "Are you serious?! Right now? Ugh! What is wrong with guys? You only think about yourselves! All of you should just leave me alone! You cut in on my date, you shattered my illusion that a guy cared enough about me to write a song and you three ruin it! Isn't bad enough that all the guys I ever go out with just think with their hormones!" She stamped away from the reproached kids.

"Oh, man." Robbie mutters as he buries his face into steering wheel.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold! ...You've been buying gold, right?" Stan comforted Robbie…I think.

Dipper and 3 looks at his tape forlornly and gazed at each other ashamed.

* * *

><p>Stan drove the kids back to the shack and sat down in the living room, drinking away their guilt with soda.<p>

"Women. They're the real mystery, Dip. You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine... and somehow you're the 'bad guy.'"

"_You're not helping Stan."_ 3 sighed, still feeling guilty

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life. She probably hates us now." Dipper said sadly and 3 placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, chin up, kid. You were trying' to do the right thing. Even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car."

"_Still not helping."_

"You think she'll ever forgive us?"

"_I think she was a little emotional, we should give her about of week of space. And we should probably avoid Manly Dan for a while."_

"Ah, I bet she was and well, we should take your advice. And until then, you can two always go bowling and pig out on ice cream with me." Stan said reassuring the two kids.

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

"_Thank you Stan."_

"Don't mention it, kids."

They were then interrupted by a crash outside and they followed Stan asked, "Wait a second... Is something rooting through our trash?"

They followed Stan outside to see a pretty blonde boy shifting through the trash.

"Hey, hey! Get outta of here!" Stan yelled, using his broom as a weapon.

"_Is that one of the singers from Mabel's band?"_ 3 asked as the boy looked at them and fled on all fours back into the forest.

"Darn, beautiful man, always eating out of my trash...Wait, what?" Stan asked himself as the kids looked at him strangely.

3 looked at the Pitt Cola in their hands and dumped it_. "Maybe we should stop drinking this stuff; I wonder if Mabel spiked it with Smile Dip again?"_

They looked at each other and shrugged, "Nahh."


	22. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: don't own

Talk-normal

_Talk_-thinking

"_Talking"-_3 speaking

Warning's: Some violence.

**A/N: Well, sorry for the long wait. I was distracted by many things: my boyfriend, other Gravity Falls episodes (Because if you watch one, you have to watch them all), YouTube, batting another story idea around, string, replaying Pokémon games, shiny things, red dots, cats, etc. But anyways, here's Into the Bunker.**

* * *

><p>Into the Bunker<p>

It's been a week since the disastrous date and break up, and 3 and Dipper have been avoiding Wendy like the plague. Whenever she walked into the room, they would suddenly need to be in another room. Poor Dipper wasn't sleeping from his guilt and has been having nightmares all week and won't talk to 3 about them.

3 was working alone in the gift shop when Wendy finally cornered her.

"Hey Aris…"

3 stiffened and turned away to have a staring contest with the Cheapskate. _"Ah…hi Wendy…How's it going?"_

Wendy sighed and said, "I've been trying to talk to you and Dipper for the past week but you two kept on running or shouting 'none specific excuse.' Then pushing the closest thing away and fleeing" Wendy gently turned 3 around and said, "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for going off on you and Dipper. Once I calmed down and really thought about it, I realized you two were just looking out for me."

"_So you're not mad at us?"_

"Nah, I was just a little emotional."

"_That's a relief; Dipper hasn't been sleeping well lately and is positive that you hate him."_

"No, I don't hate him or you. I realized that you were concerned that Robbie would've done something unforgivable and thinking on it, my brothers would've done the same thing, only they would be hiding a body already." Wendy pointed out with a grin.

3 laughed then realized and asked after a pause_, "Wendy…how do you feel about Dipper anyway?"_

Wendy smiled indulgingly and said, "I consider him a good friend and a pseudo, cool little brother. And I think of you and Mabel as little sisters I never had."

3 smiled outwardly while she celebrated inside, if Wendy considered him a brother then there was no way she'll date him so she is no longer competition. Though she was slightly sad Dipper's crush is one-sided, she at least had a chance. It turns out she couldn't hide her happiness from Wendy who mistook it for relief for them making up.

She laughed and ruffled 3's hair, "Well sis, can you get Dipper? I want to apologize to him face to face. I'll also treat you two to that mentioned ice-cream and I'll throw in a movie too." 3 grinned in response and left to find Dipper.

She finally found him in his bed, taking a nap. She paused when she saw the bags under his eyes are darker than usual and instead of a peaceful expression, he looked like he was having a nightmare, again.

"_Dipper…"_ She whispered, poking his face, _"Wendy's downstairs, she wants to talk to you."_

He muttered a little and got up, looking even more exhausted than ever, "Wha…? Wendy?"

3 nodded, _"She's not mad, she wants to talk to you."_

He lost his sleepy expression and whirled towards her and stared. "Really!?" 3 nodded and shot out of bed but got his feet entangled in the blanket and face planted into the floor to 3's concern.

"_Are you alright?"_ She asked in concern.

"I'm fine just haven't been getting enough sleep."

"_Nightmares?"_ He remained silent and 3 sighed_, "Do you want to talk about it?"_

"It's nothing…nothing to be worried about, 3." He said and ran downstairs to meet Wendy. 3 groaned and sat down on the bed and thought, _Oh Dipper, what's bothering you?_

* * *

><p>3 and Dipper found themselves on Wendy's bed watching a B-rated movie about zombies.<p>

'What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead!' A pretty black and white teen asked on the screen as the microphone was seen.

'Far worse Trixandra! They're... Nearly Almost Dead but Not Quite!' The jock yelled as Trixandra screamed

"Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you actually fought real zombies." Dipper said watching the fake zombies on the screen.

"_I admit it does take the horror from the walking dead."_ 3 agreed.

"They're slow! Just power-walk away from them!" Wendy yelled at the TV teens.

"How much you want to bet that guy dies first?"

"_Jocks are the first to die…" _3 pointed out when a zombie ate the guy's face.

'Aah! My face is being eaten a lot.'

"Chadley ain't pretty anymore." Wendy said amused when her phone vibrated.

"One second. Ugh, another text from Robbie!" Wendy said in disgust as she looked at the screen

"_That jerk is still trying to win you back?" _3 said in disinterest.

"Oh, yeah! Robbie. How's, uh, how's all that going?" Dipper asked still a little weird about breaking them up.

"Ugh, I'm over him, I just wish he was over me! Just look at these texts." She shows Dipper and 3 her phone, "Winky frown? What does that even mean?"

"_Beats me…maybe he's sorry but not really?"_

"And you're not…not like, seeing any other guys or..." Dipper trailed off.

"Of course I am, meet my new boyfriend, dude." She hugs a plush walrus nearby as Dipper laughed.

"Right, right. So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe if, you know you and me, whatever. I mean if maybe you wanted to join me, Polaris, and Mabel on this mystery hunt? Tomorrow? Conspiracy stuff and all that?" Dipper offered nervously.

Wendy smiled and said, "Yeah, dude. I love doing all that junk with friends. If that's okay with you Aris." 3 shrugged and smiled. Wendy turned back to the TV to call, "Yo Chadley, watch out!

"Yeah, that's what we are." Dipper pulls out a note from his vest and crumpled it up and placed it back in his vest. "That's all we'll ever be, Friends." He lay down on the bed on top of some laundry and sighed.

Wendy called from over shoulder to say, "Dude, you're lying on my bra."

"Hu-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Dipper screamed in surprise.

* * *

><p>They soon returned to the Mystery Shack and they had a group discussion.<p>

"I see you've invited Weeeeen-Ddddddy to our little hunt tomorrow, aye, Bro-bro." Mabel asked teasingly.

"Well yeah, I just figured it will be fun and junk…"

"This is your big chance to confess your feelings for her! In a dark spooky area underground to find clues to 3's and the Journal's father; it's the perfect setup!" Mabel said in excitement, ignoring 3's betrayed glare.

"_I'd say you have no taste in romantic settings."_ 3 deadpanned from her position in Dipper's bed.

"Well then why don't you reveal your secret crush on-" She was cut off when 3 knocked her down by throwing an overstuffed unicorn at her head.

"What?" Dipper asked, looking at the two females in confusion.

"_My crush on Coffee Omelets. Excellent balance of caffeine and egg."_ 3 said quickly whilst glaring at Mabel in annoyance.

"Ooookay…Anyway, when I was looking through 3 with a black light I found a solid clue that could lead us to the author." He looked at 3, who wordlessly transformed back to her book self. He shined a black light on her to show to his sister, "Apparently, before he disappeared, 3's father mentioned a hideout to escape to and if we find it, we could find him."

"_We'd better use the copier to make another fake me and see if it recreates invisible ink. That way, Wendy won't be suspicious when we all meet up and I'm not visible. Plus, we can have a decoy or an extra to use if someone like Gideon tries to capture us."_ 3 suggested.

Dipper nodded and snuck into Stan's office, as he was copying her 3 asked.

"_Dipper, are you sleeping okay?"_

"…it's getting better."

"_Dipper."_

"Don't worry so much, it's just anxiety and me psyching myself out. Nothing to worry about."

"_But I am worried. You've haven't had a full night's rest since you've fought Rumble and that was because of your exhaustion and your injuries. I'm scared you might burn yourself out and could get hurt from not being at you're best."_ 3 pressed.

"I'm fine!" He snapped and sighed, "Sorry…I know you're worried but I'll be careful. I promise, nothing will happen."

"_I hope you're right…"_

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, 3, Mabel, Soos and Dipper were all gathered around the tree that once held 3 and were waiting for Wendy to show up.<p>

Dipper taps a pen against his lantern to get their attention, "Thank you all for coming."

"Hey, when there's a mystery, you can count on your sister. E." Mabel tried to rhyme.

"That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some, good... When you need a Soos, you... Oh oh, gosh, I don't know." Soos tried also.

"_How about you got to vamoose?"_ 3 finished for him and he grinned at her.

"We're here to solve the number one mystery in Gravity Falls; who wrote this journal?!" He pulled out the fake Journal they made last night; turns out it can copy invisible ink, it's just fainter then the original. "Thirty years ago the author vanished without a trace. But according to this new clue, we may have found his secret hiding place." He takes out the portable black light he now takes everywhere now to show the hidden drawings on the page. "We find that author; we learn the answers to everything. We just need to figure out a way to get down there."

"Chop it down, dudes!" Wendy called as she arrived on her bike and rang her bell cheerfully.

"Wendy!"

"_Heya."_

"Oh, hey! You came." Dipper greeted jittery.

"Dude, I'm so stoked about this. I've been wanting to go adventuring with you guys. Sure beats picking up after my dad at home. Thanks for the invite, man!" She ran over to join Soos who was looking at the tree.

"Of course, anytime you wanna…I, We're always...Us." Dipper continued, flustered.

Mabel grinned and continued her teasing from last night and poked Dipper, "Uh oh! Inviting Wendy on our mission? Me thinks there's romance afoot!"

"No, look I've thought this through and I'm over Wendy. I've looked at it from every angle, and that thing was going nowhere. I know what matters to me now, and it's finding 3's Father." Dipper stated, nodding towards a grateful looking 3.

"Hah! YOU'RE over Wendy?! Allow me to put on my 'skepticals'. She makes circles around her eyes with her fingers.

"I've moved on, Mabel. You should too." Dipper turned and walked away, leaving Mabel and 3 behind.

"Skepticals..."

3 turned to Mabel and demanded_, "Why are you suddenly so keen on setting Dipper and Wendy up!?"_

Mabel frowned at 3 and said, "Because you're not making a move! You keep on passing up on prime romance chances, like last week when you fell into his arms and you ran off, when I shoved you two in the closet, and last night when you two were on the roof and Old Man McGucket started to fire fireworks! Those were prime kissing moments!"

3 blushed and looked away, _"I can't just come out and kiss him! Besides, he might just consider me a friend and I don't want to ruin that if he doesn't like me. I don't think I could take it if he started to hate me…"_

Mabel placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "Just like I told Dipper, you have to just go in there and do it your own way. One day you'll wait too long and he'll be out of your reach."

They went towards the group when they hear Dipper looked up, "Hey, is it just me, or does that branch kind of look like a lever?" Dipper turns away from the tree and tried to think of a way to reach it, not noticing Wendy uses her belt to start climbing up the tree.

"Huh, yeah. But how do we get up there...? It seems we'd need like a ladder, or like, ladder shoes... Yeah, ladder shoes. I'll get Soos to draw up a prototype." Wendy pulls out her axe and hits the lever, crying out in victory.

"Whoa ho ho!" Soos crowed, impressed.

"Wow!"

"_Clever."_

"Oh yeah, my dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games when I was a kid. Guess I kind of ruled at it." Wendy said modestly, grinning from ear to ear as the tree shook, causing bird to fly away in surprise.

"Whoa, what is that!?" Wendy screamed as she fell down. At the bottom, the ground and tree sinks down, taking Wendy with it. The others gathered around and pulled her out before she disappears. They stand around it as a staircase to the middle of the tree appears and a door inside the tree slides opens.

"Alright guys, this is it. Remember, whatever happens down there, we tell no one." Dipper announced as 3 nodded, Mabel gave the thumbs up, Soos turned his hat around, and Wendy zips her lips.

"Now, who wants to go first?" Dipper asked as they descended to find themselves in a room.

* * *

><p>"Whoa!" Mabel and Soos shouted and started to look around the bunker.<p>

"Cool!"

"_Mmm."_ Polaris hummed as she looked around, wide eyed.

"This is so stupid cool!"

"It's like a fallout shelter or something. It must've belonged to the author." Dipper said as he went deeper into the room. Wendy pulled off a metal sign saying 'Fallout Shelter' poster off the wall and dusts it off. "This is going over my bed."

Mabel places her face in a random barrel and she comes back with fuzzy black caterpillars covering her face, "Ha-ha! My face feels fuzzy!"

"This is incredible! It's like he was preparing for a disaster. But what kind of disaster would need supplies for over sixty years?" Dipper asks as he and 3 glances up at a shelf with dated boxes, the highest labeled 2070.

Soos opens a locker filled with weapons and TNT and pulls out a candy dispenser with a British dog on it. "Oh my gosh! A Smez dispenser! I remember these things. What's that, yes I will have some of your old-timey face food. Ew, dusty!" He eats a second piece as 3 reached into the locker to pull out a dagger.

"_What scared my father enough to do all this?"_ 3 asked Dipper quietly.

"No clue…" He glances down and notices an opened bean can that was still dripping. He bent over and picked it up, "Wait guys, I think this can was opened recently." 3 took the can curiously and nodded,_ it's possible that he's still alive._

"The author might still be alive, down here!" Soos called excitedly.

"Wait a minute..." Wendy walks past Mabel a pulls down a map of Gravity Falls from 1982 that was floating in a breeze to revealing an open hatch cover, "I think I know where he might have gone..."

* * *

><p>They crawled through the tunnel and found themselves in a room made from cubes and covered in alchemist symbols. "Whoa! Oh, man! Was this place built in the past or the future?"<p>

"This room is way creepy." Soos whimpered, looking around.

"Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history! Hey oh!" Mabel called playfully as she shoves Dipper and he steps on the square with an odd design and it depresses, causing the hatch to slam and lock. The symbols on the other wall squares glow red, a buzzer sounds and the room starts to shake. Some squares start to poke into the room.

"_Mabel what did you do!?"_ 3 screamed as the block she was standing on lurched forward.

"What's going on, dude?" Soos yelled as they pressed against the wall as the room became smaller and smaller as the cubes trapped them.

"_If we don't do something, we'll be crushed!"_

"Ha-ha, it's hard to be scared with caterpillars on your face. Wall things! Crazy wall things happening right now!" Mabel cried in a panic.

Wendy tries to push the blocks back in but it just pulls off her hat, "It won't stop!"

"Dipper! What do we do?!" Mabel cried to her brother desperately.

Dipper flips frantically through the fake journal and stops at a page labeled 'Security Room'. He shines the black light on it and called over to his friends, "Oh, come on!" He shows them a page with symbol on it, "Find these five symbols! Quick! Everybody step on one!"

"One!" Soos yelled as he pushed a cube on his left.

"Two!" Wendy punches the symbol in front of her.

"Three!" Mabel somersaults over a cube and slaps the symbol.

"_Four!"_ 3 ran up the wall and slammed the symbol on the ceiling.

Dipper looked around a found his symbol slowly being blocked by another cube, "Five!" He climbs up blocks and taps symbol; a door opens on the other side of the room.

"Run for it!" They all charged for the exit with Dipper narrowly getting crushed and got trapped by his vest and he wiggled out to fall on top of Soos.

"Yes! Yes! That was, huh, that was nuts!" Wendy gasped, still running on fear and adrenaline. She turns to Dipper and called, "You ruled back there man!"

"Ha-ha, thanks." Dipper said breathless as 3 checked him over in concern.

"Get a load of this crazy Surveillance Room." Wendy called as they looked around the room they were now in. It was filled with computers, screens, papers, and beakers.

"Check it out dudes!" Soos called over as he takes the beakers and put them in front of his face and made silly faces

"Soos, Soos that is hilarious." Wendy laughed.

"Hey bro, you forgot your vest." Mabel walks over to the abandoned vest and pulls it out, making the note fall to the floor. "What the..? 'Dear Wendy, I've always had a crush on...'OHMYGOSH!" She read excitedly and grins at Dipper waving the note in front of him and 3, "Hey Dipper! Look what I found..."

Dipper gasped and snatches the note from his sister's grasp as 3's mood soured, "What did you..? Give me that!"

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! You're not over Wendy at all and you were gonna tell her today?" Mabel asked animatedly, ignoring 3's angry glare.

"No, I changed my mind; it's a bad idea. I'd embarrass myself and then I'd be another guy she hates, like Robbie." Dipper muttered as he hid the note back into his vest.

"Dipper, you should just tell her already. One way or another, you'll feel better afterwards."

"_How about you mind your own business. Besides, you're not in the position to be giving dating advice." _3 said waspishly.

"Look Mabel, I can't tell her no matter how much I want to, so just drop it okay?"

"Dude! Dipper, Aris, you two gotta check out this weird metal closet" Wendy called over as Soos span around in a wheely chair and she then made a robot voice, "I am a robot, I have a metal closet."

"Coming!" They both called as Dipper turned to Mabel "This never happened." They walked over, ignoring Mabel's serious face.

They were about to cross the threshold when Mabel ran up and grabbed both of them in a hug, "Brother, whatever happens I just you need to know something: this is for your own good. And 3…do it right this time."

"What?"

"_Huh?"_

Mabel shoves the two of them into the closet with Wendy and shuts it. "What the?" Dipper asked and looks at Wendy; he gasps and pounds on the door. "MABEL! Let us out!"

"_Oh god, not again…"_ 3 muttered, blushing.

"Oh, I'll let you out Dipper, as soon as you tell Wendy that thing you've been wanting to tell her! And Polaris if he doesn't, you do it! You two will thank me for this later!"

"What is she talking about?" Wendy asked the two 12 year olds curiously.

"Nothing! Mabel's just been eating raw sugar packets again." Dipper said hurriedly and 3 heard Mabel eating something and say indigently, "Om nom... That's beside the point!"

"Let us out RIGHT NOW!" Dipper screamed at his sister as he pounded the door.

"Uh! Where are the lights?" Wendy asked and pulls the cord in front of her, causing water to spray down onto them.

"AHHH!"

Water gushes down, followed by a blast of hot air that pushes them all together. A red light flashes and a tone sounds. A sign reading 'Decontamination Complete' flashes and doors open on a wrecked underground room.

"3 are you alright?" Dipper whispered to the shaken 3. She looked at her still soaked arm that was limp and she knew if any pressure was place on it, it would tear. She nodded and whispered back, _"A little damp, but the dry air helped a bit. Still, I should stay away from any more water."_

Dipper nodded and helped her up. They walked deeper in to the room filled with broken tubes and more computers. Dipper called "Whoa! A hidden lab! Maybe the author did experiments down here."

"Huh. What do you think dug all these tunnels?" Wendy asked as she noticed large holes scattered into the walls.

"Let's hope we don't find out." They then hear a growling sound and a dark figure approaches. The three screamed and ran back to the door shouting, "Mabel, open up, for real! There's a monster in here!"

"Ha ha, nice try! The only monsters are your own inner demons, you two!" They heard Mabel called, muffled by the thick metal door.

Wendy turned to Dipper and 3 and yelled, "Dipper, Aris, just say whatever Mabel wants you two to say, so she'll let us out of here!"

"Come on Dipper! Now's the time, bro! Polaris, don't wimp out!" She encouraged.

"Wendy, I - I - I'm gonna find another way out!" He grabs Wendy's and 3's hands and pulls them in the other direction.

"Wait, what? Dude, where are we going?" Wendy yelled as they skirted around the edge of the room just as the monster entered, they ran down a tunnel and come to a dead end just as the thing corners them there. "What do we do?"

"I don't know!" They watch as the shadow got bigger to show an insect like thing roaring when a shadow of a man appears and starts to attack the monster.

"Back, back you heinous beast!"

"_What!?"_ 3 gasped as a man in ragged clothing and goggles walked into view. "Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue." The man said unperturbedly and throws it down at their feet as they breathed heavily.

"It's, it's you!" Dipper stuttered, looking at the old men as 3 cocked her head to the side.

"Hurry now, I scared it off, but it'll regenerate. I wasn't expecting guests. I've been down here for a very long time. Years! Weeks, maybe! I miss orange juice." He said as he led them down a tunnel.

Dipper turned to 3 and asked, "Is this him? Is he your father?" He whispered. 3 turned towards the man and frowned. _"I-I'm not sure. I only caught a glimpse of him when he was placing me in the cubby, and that was at night. So I'm not 100%...That being said, he does look familiar…"_

Dipper ran up to the man and said, "You don't understand, you're the guy I've been looking for!"

"He's the guy?" Wendy said surprised.

"Wendy, he's the guy!" Dipper declared as they celebrated, 3 was smiling broadly; she finally met her father again.

"The guy?!" The author asked the three kids curiously.

"I've got like a jillion questions! Why did you write the journals? Who was after you? Why did you build this bunker?" Dipper asked in rapid succession.

"Heh. My boy I'd love to discuss this in time. We have more pressing matters. It's one of my experiments, a shape-shifter. Able to take the form of anyone or anything it sees. It broke free from a cage of solid steel! I've gone half-crazy trying to catch the creature alone. But now you're here! Will you help me catch it?" 3's father asked, lifting up his goggles to look them in the eye as they nodded as one.

* * *

><p>The writer led them into a lab and showed them inside, "Come in, come in! I apologize for the state of things! I don't get many non-mole-people visitors. Now the beast must have some weakness we can exploit. I just wish I had my research on me. But alas, I lost my journals so many years ago."<p>

"Did you say journals?" Wendy asked happily sharing a look with Dipper as 3 frowned. _Wait…why did he say 'lost?' He hid all of us in predetermined areas…_

"Dude! I found one of them! That's how I tracked you down here." Dipper declared excitedly he was about to tell him about 3 when he caught her eye. She made abortive motions with her hand and narrowed her eyes at the man. He nodded slightly and pulled out the fake journal.

"What?! Could it be?" He takes journal from a now suspicious Dipper. "My boy! I can't express my gratitude! Oh yes, after all these years..."

Dipper, Wendy, and 3 gathered away from the author and talked amongst each other.

"Wendy. Do you think that guy is a little…odd?"

Wendy looked at the two strangely and asked, "What's wrong with you two? You guys were stoked when we found him. You heard him; he was down here for years, that it bound to make him unhinged."

"_True, but he said he lost the journals. But from my- I mean the journal's entries; he knew beforehand where he was going to hid them!"_

Wendy frowned and noticed and empty can and looked at it. She gasped and bit her lip and held the can towards them, "Dipper! Aris! Look! She shows them a can of beans with a picture of the "author" on it.

Dipper's and 3's eyes widened._ So that's why he looks familiar!_

Dipper nervously walks over to the man and asks, "Uhh, you know what? We should probably get going. Can I have my journal back?"

He turns his head 360 degrees and said in a deep voice, "You're not going anywhere." He crawls up wall and grows spider legs as they screamed in horror. He soon grew into a white, dripping maggot like creature with two misshaped arms on either side.

"How do you like my true form? Go on, admit it, you like it!"

"You! What did you do to the real author?!" Dipper yelled at the shape shifter.

"You'll likely never find out. That six-fingered nerd hasn't been himself in thirty years! But I thank you for bringing me his journal. He used to write it while I was in my cage. So many wonderful forms to take!" It transforms into the Gremloblin, a gnome, and then the hide behind, laughing.

Dipper grabbed Wendy and 3 and shouted, "RUN!"

"Wait! What about your journal!?"

"It's a fake! We have to run!" He yelled back and they started to run, unfortunately the shape shifter also heard.

"What!?" It bellowed and tossed the fake journal into a puddle and it dissolved. "YOU BRATS!" He begins to chase after them, using his tongue like a spear and slashing at them.

Wendy grabs a piece of metal to block and bashed it against its face.

"RUN! RUN! RUN!" Dipper screamed as the shape shifter chased after them in a giant rolly polly form. Leading them to a forked path Dipper throws his flashlight down one end and runs with Wendy and 3 down the other end where they crash into Mabel and Soos.

"_Where were you?!"_ 3 said aggressively, cutting off their excited greeting.

"Wait! How do we know they're not the shape shifter?" Dipper whispered, narrowing his eyes at the two while pushing the girls to back away.

"Maybe I am! Mabel! Inspect my shape!" Soos said worried and lifting up his shirt as Mabel poked him and laughed, "Do that again!"

"Poke."

"Even better the second time!"

"_It's them."_ 3 deadpanned.

"It's definitely them." Dipper agreed then gasped as he glanced at Wendy, "Oh my gosh, Wendy, you're bleeding!"

"It's cool, it's cool. It's just blood man, don't freak out." Wendy assured the worried children.

"What happened?"

"_We found a man who claimed to be my father. But he turned out to be a shape shifter."_ 3 explained as she took off Wendy's jacket and made a bandage for her.

"He broke out of his cage, pretended to be the author, and wants Dipper's journal." Wendy continued then frowned at 3 and Dipper, "Aris, you never told me that the author was your dad and anyway, the journal Dipper had was a fake and the monster must be pissed now."

"Imagine if he escapes to the town! He can transform into anything! We could never trust anyone ever again!" Dipper told them.

"_It will make his words come true…"_

"What do we do?!" Mabel asked.

"Well, he took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us. I say we return the favor."

3 grinned like a shark_, "We've already did the trick part lets return the destroying part"_

* * *

><p>They hid out in another tunnel waiting for the shape shifter to come along, he soon entered the tunnel in his human form calling, "Dipper, my boy! Come out! I must speak with you!" It turns into a creature with six legs, claws, and a one-eyed head resembling a hand. "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU SINGLE-FORMED HUMAN WEAKLING!"<p>

Mabel enters the room with Dipper, "Oh boy, Dipper. This real book sure is full of some great monsters!" She said loudly with Dipper hold 3 in her book form.

"There you are! Ooh and a new one." It said in malicious amusement as it turned into Mabel. "Should I be one...?" It turns into Dipper, "...or the other? Hoe about the one missing…?" He turned into Polaris, "How about both!?" It turns into a sixed-legged creature the top half resembles Dipper while the bottom half resembles Mabel. Both halves have a large mouth with many sharp teeth and glowing white eyes, it bellows as the children screamed in horror. They turned and ran away with the shape shifter chasing them. They enter a room with Wendy and Soos holding onto the valve of a pipe.

"Guys, he's coming! He's coming! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!" Dipper shouted as they gathered around the pipe.

Wendy and Soos start turning the valve but it didn't give a drop.

"It's not working, dude!"

The shape shifter catches up to them and wraps its slimy tongue around 3 and tries to rip her from Dipper's hands. _Aw gross! When this is over, I'm dry cleaning my cover!_

"HEY, LET GO!" Dipper yelled as Wendy joined the tug-of-war.

"You leave him alone!"

The shape shifter then tugs viciously at 3 and she's ripped from Dippers hands but Wendy is pulled away with 3 also.

"WENDY! 3!"

Wendy jumps on to the shape shifter and prepares to attack it with her axe. Soos successfully turns the valve and a strong stream of water bursts from the pipe, Wendy, 3, and the shape shifter are knocked backwards by the water. Dipper, Mabel and Soos get caught in the flow as well. The water finally subsided and they are back to where they find out about the shape shifter.

Wendy and 3 groaned and found themselves away from the rest of the group.

"Oh man…that was wild…" Wendy got up and coughed up some water, she glanced around and found 3 near her and she picked her up and walked away. "Ow…I think I hit my head against a rock or something. Where are Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Aris? Speaking of Aris, I didn't see her when we unleashed the water." Wendy muttered to herself, rubbing the back of her head. "I hope they're alright."

Wendy soon found Dipper crouched in front of a body and 3's heart nearly stopped. At first she thought it might be Mabel until we got close enough to hear him say, "-you when we were in the closet we wouldn't be in this mess. But I was too scared and now you could be hurt or worse, and I never even got to tell you I'm, like - In love with you, Wendy!" He cried, burying his face in his hands in shame.

"Uh, Dipper?"

Dipper whirled around with tears still in his eyes and stuttered, "Huh-Wha-Wendy?! W-wait, then who's...?" He turned and they saw another Wendy laying there that then crouched on all fours and growled.

"LOOK OUT!" Dipper yelled when the shape shifter lunged at Wendy and 3.

"Give me back that journal!" The shaped shifter screamed in Wendy's voice, clawing at Wendy.

"Never!"

It shoves her over and lands on her, reaching for 3 with a victorious smile until Wendy plowed her boots into the shape shifters stomach.

"Get off me!"

The two Wendy's fight while Dipper watches unsurely, 3 knew that he lost track about which was which. Dipper picks up the axe and approaches them as they were fighting each other with a disorientated 3 between them.

"Give it back; it belongs to Dipper!" One of them screamed.

"Hit her with the axe!" The other yelled at Dipper.

"Don't listen to her, Dipper!"

"She's the shape-shifter!"

Dipper looks between them with sweat running down his face, "Uh, uh, I don't know who's who! Give me a sign!" He told the two of them.

One winks while the other zips her lips and made a throwing motion. Dipper then stabs the shape shifter in the stomach, causing a green sludge to come pouring out. The shape shifter returned to normal and screamed in agony. It glares at the two and screamed, "NO I WILL NOT LOSE TO A BUNCH OF SNOT-NOSED BRATS!" It punched Wendy in the stomach and slashed at Dipper with one of its legs. It snatched 3 from the winded Wendy and laughed, "Finally! I have the real one!"

Wendy turned to Dipper and screamed, "What do we do!? Where is Aris!?"

The shape shifter's laugh of triumph soon became a roar of pain. They whirled around to see a clawed hand stabbing one of the shape shifter's bulging pink eyes originating from 3. Soon, 3's snapped form's head comes out from the opened pages and glares at the monster.

"_**Yes…you do have the real one…"**_ 3's leg then snapped out and round house kicks the monster.

Wendy stared wide eyed at 3 as she fully formed. "Dipper…what…is…that?"

"An ally."

The monster came charging back at 3 who punched the axe that was still embedded within it deeper into its gut. It screamed and clawed at 3's arm and ink splattered across the room.

"3!" Dipper screamed in horror as 3 quickly backed away and looked at her arm. _**"Damn…two baths in one day has taken its toll…" **_She growled, looking at her soaked arm that was bleeding freely. _**"It's done a number on my durability."**_

Dipper's eyes widened and glanced around the room, trying to find a way to help 3 when he noticed a cryogenic tube flashing 'ready' at the top. The shape shifter rips the axe out of its body and was about to turn it onto 3 when Dipper yelled at the girls "Push him in!"

Dipper, 3, and Wendy charged and pushed the shape shifter into the tube. The door closes and the tube begins freezing the shape shifter.

"No!" It screamed and turns into a rock monster trying to smash the glass, then a flame monster, then the man from earlier, "Let me ouuuut!" It then shifts back to its true form and goes silent and they share a sigh of relief. Wendy then turns to 3 and Dipper and asks with hands on her hips, "So…mind explaining this to me?" She gestured at 3.

3 then shrunk down to her 12 year old body and hissed in pain as more ink dripped from the wound. Dipper tears a piece of his shirt to bandage the wound.

"Aris!? What!? What's going on!?"

"Wendy…there's something we need to tell you…" Dipper said, sharing a weary grin with 3. While they waited for Soos and Mabel, they explained how Dipper found 3, her speaking, her transformation, and what she was doing here. Wendy nodded in understanding when Soos and Mabel walked in. She shared a secretive grin with them and zipped her lips.

Soos looked around apprehensive and asked, "Let's get out of here, dudes." They all turned away to follow them when they heard evil laughter. They whirled around to see that the monster was still awake.

"You think you're so clever don't you, Dipper?" It sneered as 3 and stood protectively in front of him, "But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author. If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine. A fate where not even that book spirt of yours won't be able to save you and this will be the last form you ever take! It finally took a new form of Dipper and screams while being frozen, leaving a frozen statue of a terrified Dipper in front of them.

"Ha-ha! Good luck sleeping tonight!" Soos laughed then groaned in pain when 3 punched him.

* * *

><p>They then returned above ground and sighed in relief as the tree returned to normal.<p>

"Dude, I think I'm kind of adventured out for a little while. My face hurts from doing this all day." He makes a screaming face and rubs the mark on his arm. "Also my arm."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit we're all total heroes." Mabel told them cheerfully.

"Hey, who wants to get some hero's breakfast, huh?" Soos asked, messing up Mabel's hair then placed her on top of his shoulders and she shouted, "Syrup on cereal!"

"Mabel, you're a visionary!" Soos complimented as they walked back to the Mystery Shack. Wendy was following after them when 3 and Dipper stopped her.

"Look, Wendy, about earlier. In the heat of the moment, I might have said some dumb things, and can't we pretend none of that ever happened? Also, can you keep 3's secret a secret? Please?" Dipper asked turning away and pulling his head down.

"Dude, Dude. It's okay. I always kind of knew." Wendy assured, placing a hand on both of their shoulders.

"Wait, you did?"

Wendy chuckled, "Well, not about 3, but that does explain the voice I kept on hearing that vanished after Aris here came. Yeah, did you think I can't hear that stuff you're constantly whispering under your breath?"

Dipper groaned in embarrassment and sat down on a log, burying his head in his hands, "Oh Man!"

Wendy and 3 sat down on either side of him and Wendy continued, "Listen Dipper, I'm like, super flattered, but... I'm too old for you. I mean, you know that, right?"

"Mabel said confessing would make me feel better." Dipper groaned.

"Well, how do you feel?"

"Anxious. Scared. Kind of itchy."

Wendy chuckled and said, "Dude, don't be itchy man. Let me tell you something. This summer was super boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than practically anyone else. And if you ever stopped being my friend ...I would, like, throw myself into the Bottomless pit!" 3 nodded, sharing the same sentiments.

"So things won't be too, awkward, now?" Dipper asked, still nervous.

"I just wrestled myself, dude. That was awkward. If you can handle that monster, you can handle a little awkwardness. Plus you have a super powerful book for a friend, you can handle anything." Dipper nodded but 3 heard him whisper and blinked in confusion.

"I…scared…happen…"

Dipper turned to Wendy and held out his hand, "Friends?"

3 also held out her uninjured arm, _"Friends?"_

"Yeah, dudes! Friends!" She shoves both him and 3 backwards off the log, causing the three of them to burst out laughing as Wendy pulls them both back onto the log.

"Oh, and hey Dipper, Aris? See you for movie night tomorrow. Your place this time, okay?" She got back onto her bike and rode away with Dipper watching her go sadly when Mabel appeared next to them.

"Sooo? How did it go?" She asked grinning.

Dipper and 3 jumped in surprise, "Wha-what did you hear?" He stuttered.

"Everything! All the time!" Soos then pops out of the bushes and shouts, "I'M NOT HERE!"

Dipper turned away from his sister and asks, "Mabel, how can everything be so amazing and so terrible all at the same time?"

"I'm so sorry for being so pushy Dipper. If it's any consolation, I'm already working on your list of potential rebound crushes." Mabel apologized, trying to ignore 3's burning glare.

"Thanks Mabel. Whoa!" The kids jumped in surprise when their side of the log tilted upward when Soos sat down on the other end.

"I'm still bummed we're no closer to finding that author guy. At least I got his science-y coat and briefcase. He holds up the briefcase and it flops open to reveal that it was actually a laptop. "Whoa! What the?"

"Soos, that's not a briefcase, it's a laptop!" Dipper cried.

"And a really busted up one too."

"_Who cares about that, this is a solid clue!"_ 3 said excitedly.

"I bet I could get this thing fixed up in a few days. It's gonna take a lotta duct tape." Soos said, staring hard at the ancient computer.

"This could be our next clue!" Dipper said, filling with hope as he looked at the laptop labeled, 'property of F.'

* * *

><p>The next night, Dipper, 3, and Wendy were all gathered on the chair watching a movie channel.<p>

"Is it just me or does Gravity Falls TV only have the worst movies?" Dipper asked as they stuffed their faces with popcorn.

'You're watching the Gravity Falls Bargain Movie Showcase. Coming up next, The Widdlest Wampire!

"_That vampire reminds me of Gideon."_ 3 muttered.

'The Planet People of Planet Planet!' 'Help! My Mummy's a Werewolf!' 'Attack of the Exclamation Points!' 'The Man with no Taste', 'Ghost Turtle', 'Help! My Mummy's a Werewolf! 2: This Again!'

"You want to never watch this channel again?" Dipper asked and 3 got up.

"_I'm going to get more snacks? Want anything?"_

"Just a soda."

"I'm come with you." Wendy said, also getting up and they walked into the kitchen and Wendy smirked at 3.

"Soo…you like Dipper?"

3 was so surprised she dropped her soda, she whirled and muttered, _"Not you too! Mabel is bad enough."_

"Don't worry dude I can keep a secret. Besides, to quote myself, 'I always kind of knew.' I could sometimes notice you glaring at me when Dipper stuttered around me and those quips were slightly harsh."

"_Oh…sorry…"_

"No problem. I understand." She grinned and asked, "So need any advice?"

3 groaned and banged her head on the counter. _"Great there's two of them."_


	23. Interlude 4

Interlude 4

Fixing it with Soos + a little extra

Disclaimer: I don't own

Talk-normal

Talk-3 thinking

"Talk"-3 speaking

Warnings: Some violence and cursing.

**A/N: It was a tough choice between Sock Opera and this. However, I think this interlude will give you guys some insight on the next episode. **

* * *

><p>"3…I love you." Dipper said with a smile.<p>

3 was sure she was a cherry red now. _"D-Dipper? Wh-what brought this on?"_ She stuttered as her heart sored.

"3…I've been thinking, you've been with me since I've came here. You believe, trust, and always cared for me. Without, who knows how all of our adventures would've turned out? Just…please don't think this is about Mabel's rebound crush list." His smile turned sad and he turned away. "Besides, I'll understand if you don't want a noodle armed boy like me…"

"_N-no! I-I like you just the way you are. You are brave, loyal to a fault, and, contrary to popular belief, are strong both physically and mentally. Just please, don't ever hate me."_

"I could never hate you 3." Dipper said and they both leaned in and…_SMACK!_

3's eyes snapped open when an arm hit her painfully in the stomach and she whirled around to glare at Mabel, who was using her as a giant teddy bear. 3 frowned in confusion and looked around and groaned. _Shit, it was a dream._ 3 thought sourly as Mabel snuggled into her chest, drooling.

3 remembered now that the twins were brainstorming about clues that the laptop they've found in the bunker could have when Mabel passed out using her as a pillow and she fell asleep afterwards also. 3 glared once again and promised to herself the next time Mabel had a boy dream, she'll wake her up. Petty? You can bet your ass it was, it will make them even.

3 resettled back to the bed and sighed sadly_, it was such a good dream too._ She turned her head towards the real boy and bolted back up in surprise, breaking Mabel's death grip on her torso. Dipper wasn't in his bed and it looked like he hasn't sleep in it lately. She slipped out from Mabel's bed and out of the room and searched all over the house, even peeking into Stan's room, but couldn't find him. She was about to wake Mabel when she heard tired muttering from the den.

She found Dipper nodding off and snapping awake on the armchair, watching late night rerun of _Duck-Tective_ on silent. _"Dipper?"_

He snapped towards her and he looked awful, he had dark bags under his blood shot eyes and had deathly pale skin. "3 what are-" He cut himself off with a yawn. "What are you doing awake?"

"_I-I should be asking you that!"_ 3 yelped. _"It's…"_ She looked at the cuckoo clock, _"Its 3:31am! Did you get any shut eye!?"_

"Of course I-"

"_Blinking doesn't count."_ Dipper fell silent and looked away from 3. She sighed and turned off the TV and picked him up.

"H-HEY! W-what are you doing!?"

"_Taking you to bed."_

"I'm not-" he yawned, "Tired."

"_Don't be difficult Dipper. You are going to bed and that's final!"_ 3 sighed, _I sound like his mother._

"You're not my mom, 3! I'm perfectly fine!"

"_Dipper, the zombies we summoned looked more alive than you. You need to sleep!" _She dropped Dipper unceremoniously onto the bed and she covered him with the blanket. _"Now be a good boy and go to sleep. I'll cover your morning shift so you can catch up on some z's."_ She walked over to the cot and pinned Dipper, who was getting up, with a glare. _"If you don't stay there, I'll get Mabel's glitter rope and tie you to the bed."_

With a grumble, Dipper complied and the two kids went to sleep, not seeing the shadowy triangle slipping into the room.

* * *

><p>The next day, Dipper looked a little better than last night, but his color still worried 3.<p>

"Don't worry so much 3; I'm still a little exhausted." He assured her when she inquired about him.

"_Sorry for being so naggy, but you look horrible."_ 3 teased.

"You look horrible!" He joked, punching her shoulder. They were then distracted when they heard a crash and they looked into the den to see Stan standing over the cuckoo clock with a bat.

"Stop making that noise!" He screamed as he bashed it in, causing the noise to deepen and slow down.

"I hate you! This is definitely not an accident!"

3 and Dipper shared weird looks and shrugged, and went back to work were Wendy came in.

"Hey Aris, hey Di-Whoa! Zombie!" Wendy yelped, grabbing a stool to hit Dipper.

"Wendy! Wendy! It's me! Dipper!" He screamed, backing up.

"Are you just saying that?" She asked narrowing her eyes to show skepticism.

"Really, I'm alive!"

"_He's just sleep deprived."_ 3 deadpanned, wrestling the stool from Wendy.

"Heh…sorry man. But you look terrible."

"That's okay, I just been having trouble sleeping lately. Just a few nightmares that's all." He assured the girls, embarrassed by the concern.

"Hmm…sleep deprived and nightmares huh? Well, I have a solution to that." Wendy smirked at the two.

"What?"

"_You do?"_

"We just have to tucker him out with excitement. He'll be dead on his feet and pass out with no chance of dreams."

They glanced at each other and shrugged.

"What's the harm?"

"_Better than anything I can come up with."_ 3 turned to Wendy and asked, _"So what's the plan?"_

Wendy shared a conspiratorial grin and said, "Stunts."

* * *

><p>They set up two ramps with Stan's car in the middle and they got into the golf cart with Wendy driving, Dipper in the passenger, and 3 hanging off the back<p>

"Okay boy and girl; hang on to your accessories for the most epic stunt in the history of the Mystery Shack!" Wendy called as she started the cart.

"_There is no stunt history of the Mystery Shack."_

"I know! Right!" Wendy called and revved the engine.

"Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" The three chanted as Wendy drove the cart up but it doesn't jump over the car, instead it falls over its side, breaking the cart and sending them sprawling to their sides.

"Oomph!"

"Ow!"

"_Shit! Is everyone alright?"_ 3 groaned, holding her head and peering into the car to find Dipper squished under Wendy.

"I'm okay." Dipper groaned.

"Do you smell smoke?" Wendy asked, rubbing her head at the moment the tire next to 3 caught on fire.

"_Eep!"_ 3 jumped and grabbed a handful of dirt to suffocate the flames. The two crawled out and winced when they saw the state the cart was in.

"Oh man, Stan's gonna kill us." Wendy said.

"Don't worry, we'll just go see Soos and he can fix it." Dipper suggested as the cart cracked in half and it spontaneously combusted again.

They found Soos in the break room setting up a camera to film a toilet bolted to the ceiling and its pipes gushing out water.

"_Soos, what are you doing?"_

"Oh hey, dudes. What's up?"

"Well we need you to fix something for us."

Soos grinned and said, "Sure dudes, just let me set this camera."

They sat on the sofa as Soos turned to the camera and leaned on the desk.

"Hey dudes! And welcome back to "Fixin' it with Soos," the show where I always forget that I'm leaning on the soldering iron. AH OWW!" He screamed as they heard a sizzling noise.

Dipper and Wendy looked at 3 who sighed, _"I'll get the ointment and bandages."_

After tending the wound and getting rid of the soldering iron, Soos sat down on the sofa with them.

"What needs fixing today?"

"Well, Me, Aris, and Dipper were just doing normal work stuff with the golf cart...when we decided to try to jump Stan's car when the cart tipped over. So now the cart's busted for some reason. You think you can fix it so we can finish our stunt?" Wendy told him.

"You have called upon my fix-it powers. I accept this call, Wendy." He said turning to the camera in a serious voice.

"Huh? What call?" Wendy asked, confused.

"The call of…POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" He yelled, raising his hands to the sky.

"...What's happening right now?" Wendy asked, looking around and 3 shrugged as Dipper kicked his legs.

"I'll show you guys later." He whispered when he turned to the side to stare hard at nothing, "Oh no! A bat! Laser eyes, go!"

"Still in the dark over here." Dipper said to no one.

"_Beats me. Soos grab your tools and let's fix the cart before Stan kills us." _3 called to Soos.

"Okay dudes, but I'll need you guys help." He tosses two blue jumpsuits to 3 and Dipper. "Put these on and let's go!"

* * *

><p>They went to the backyard carrying the tools, camera, and a large chart. 3, Dipper, and Soos gathered around the cart while Wendy was on the sofa reading a magazine.<p>

"It's time to fix the golf cart. At the end of the show, Dipper, Polaris, and Wendy will rank my handyman-ship from 1 to 10. Vote 10!"

"Happy to do it, dude. Hey, do you think a girl would think I look cool in this jump suit? I mean…" Dipper nervously laughed.

"Some things, even Soos can't fix." Soos said sadly, placing a hand on his shoulder as Dipper's face fell. 3 punched him in the arm.

After three hours, Soos finally fixed up the cart and was just finishing the engine.

"Huh, looks like a problem with the fuel injector. Dipper, try the engine now." Soos called over to the shoulder. Dipper started the engine and it roared to life. "Hey! You did it, man!"

"_Good job Soos!" _

Soos suddenly frowned and leaned over the hood at the camera, "My fix-it power has been unleashed!"

"Why do you keep saying stuff like that?" Dipper asked but was cut off when Soos howled, "Unleash the POWER! Woo woo wooooo! Well I'm not done yet; it's not quite as rad. Time cut!"

3 shrugged and said_, "He must be channeling the wolves he was raised with for an hour…"_ Soos was now spinning around in front of the camera.

"Fix it! Do it! Accidentally unscrew it!"

"Let's get some coffee omelets." Dipper suggested.

Soon, 3, Dipper, Wendy and Soos standing next to the golf cart covered with a white sheet.

"Behold!" Soos announced, uncovering the white sheet from the golf cart.

"Whoa!"

The cart now had purple flames in front, rocket fins on the roof, a wooden steering wheel with a hula girl on the dash board, exhaust pipes on the sides with lucky tails hanging on the bumper with a tiger, space and a rocket, a pyramid and a single glowing eye under it with Soos's signature on the back.

"Awesome!" Wendy called, walking around the cart.

"You did this in an hour!?" Dipper exclaimed. 3 blinked and looked at the eye in the back again; she could've sworn it winked at her.

"So let's make this jump!"

They tried the stunt again, this time with Soos driving.

"I don't think we have enough speed to make it." Dipper said nervously.

"Hit the nitrous boosters!"

"_What?"_

"Aren't those illegal?" Wendy asked.

"You bet your life they are, baby!" He presses a button on the steering wheel which makes the cart increase speed. They screamed in joy as they felt the cart lurch faster, it jumps over the ramp and doesn't land on the other side of the ramp, instead remaining airborne.

"We're clearing it! We're clearing it!" Dipper cheered.

"So, what score do I get, from one to ten?"

"Ten out of ten! Ten out of ten!"

"_Twenty!"_

"Thanks, Guys!" Soos yelled then realized they were flying too close to the shack.

"Oh, dude, oh no! Watch out watch-" The cart slammed into the roof and 3 managed not to fall off the back.

"Ow…" Dipper moaned and winced.

"Do you think Stan will notice?" Wendy asked weakly.

"_I rather not answer that…"_ They climbed down to the ground and flopped down, nursing their bruises and aches when Stan called from the other side of the Shack.

"Soos! I think the roof is broken! Can you fix it for me?"

"I make my own economy." Soos winked at them.

"_Urgh…I think we had enough excitement for today."_ 3 said.

* * *

><p>After applying medicine to their aching muscles, Dipper and 3 flopped down, ready for bed.<p>

"If that doesn't get me to sleep nothing will." Dipper moaned, cracking his back.

"_I know what you mean. At least Stan doesn't know it was us who busted the roof and he'll never know that the cart was busted."_

"Small mercies. Well, I am in the mood for some sleep. Good night 3." He said clicking off the light.

"_Good night Dipper."_

**Dream**

3 was walking down a dark void for who knew how long. All she knew is that her surrounds haven't changed in the past hour, just that it was getting darker and darker.

"_Hello? Dipper? Mabel? Wendy? Is anyone there?"_ She called after a while. Nothing but oppressive silence answered her then a whisper brushed by her. She whirled around to find nothing but blackness answered her.

"_This is getting weird…" _

"_**Hehehehe." **_

She whirled again, hearing creepy chuckling that soon evolved into mocking laughter.

"_Who's there!? Show yourself!?" _She screamed getting scared, she turned around and screamed. She was looking at her snapped form, only she was completely black with veins of scarlet and a sick yellow running across her form. What shocked her the most is that she had a single eye with black sclera with a white iris and razor sharp teeth. She screamed again when it leaped at her with murder in its eye.

"_Aha!"_ 3 bolted awake, breathing heavily. She looked around and sighed in relief, _just a nightmare, just a nightmare._ She sighed_, what the hell conjured that up? This is the last time I let Mabel convince me to drink Mabel Juice. _3 glanced at Dipper's bed and groaned, _out of bed again? This is getting ridiculous. _

She found Dipper back in the den watching 'The Widdlest Wampire.' _"That thing always reminds me of Gideon…" _3 told him and frowned when Dipper didn't react. _"Dipper, how many times do I have to tell you that…?"_ She trailed off when he saw him sleep, but it wasn't a peaceful doze. He was groaning and she could see faint trails of tears on his face_. "Dipper? Dipper!?"_ She started to shake him then reared back when he began to yell and struggle.

"No! No! Stay away! Don't!"

"_Dipper! Dipper, wake up! It's just a nightmare! Please wake up!" _

"Gah!" He woke up with a gasp and turned to 3 in confusion. "3? What…what's going on? Where am I?" He woke with a gasp and looked around.

"_You were having another nightmare and you started screaming."_ She carefully placed a hand on his shoulder and asked, _"Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?"_

He kept his head down and whispered, "Not really…" 3 was a little hurt, but she dropped it. _"Okay then…do you want anything?"_

"No…what are you doing up?" He asked, changing the subject.

"_I had a nightmare also." _She said with a small smile. _"So…want late night sundae's and left over pizza?"_ He gave a small smile and 3 left him with a heavy heart.

* * *

><p>The next day had 3 worried; Dipper kept of falling asleep at odd times and started to go over 2's entries obsessively. Whenever 3 asked what was wrong he would always say: "Nothing's wrong."<p>

She became concerned enough that she refused to let him walk down the driveway after he nearly walked into a car that was still in motion. 3 literally had to sit on him to prevent him from running to Soos's when he called them saying that he fixed the laptop.

"Let me up 3!"

"_No."_

"Get off!" He screamed, trying to squirm out from under her and failing. "I thought you wanted to find your father."

"_I do, but I don't trust you to walk down the road without getting run over."_

"3, I'm 12 years old! Practically a teen, I think I'm old enough that I can walk to town on my own." He pouted.

"_I know that, but you're sleep deprives. I'll go to Soos's and get the damn thing. You go back to bed."_

"I'm not-"

"_You were sleeping against Stan and face planted when he moved away."_

"But!"

"_No buts, you, bed, now."_

"You're not my mom." He mumbled as he complied.

3 soon found herself at Abuelita's home and found Soos working on his computer.

"_Hey Soos, I came to pick up the laptop."_

"Oh, hey Polaris. Where's Dipper? I thought he would be here."

"_He wanted to, but I sentenced him to bed duty so I came alone."_ 3 deadpanned looking for the laptop.

"Hey do you want to see my own TV show fresh off the computer editing?"

"_I'm sort of in a hurry…"_

"Great! Sit here." Soos cut her off, pushing her into the seat and started the video. After a remixed opening it showed Soos in the break room.

'Hey, dudes! Welcome to 'Fixin' It with Soos', the only home "Fix It" show that I edited myself on my own computer.' A giant hand appears and yells, 'HIGH FIVE!'

"Ah…Soos, I really should…"

'Thanks, Clip-art hand! Today I have this broken Cuckoo Clock.' Soos held up the cuckoo clock Stan destroyed yesterday. 'You can see it's tore up from the floor up. Stan knocked it down yesterday by accident.'

"_No he didn't…"_ 3 said weakly, feeling an ominous sense of Déjà vu.

'I'm gonna fix it up, and when I'm done, Stan will rate my handiwork on the "Awesomeometer". He held up the chart when the giant hand came back for another high five.

'Not, not now, bro...' The video is then cut to a screen where Soos's head floats across the screen and then, to 3's horror, a cheetah print underpants and winked.

'Duct tape! Wood Glue! Hey you!'

"_I think I threw up in my mouth a little."_

"That's good, right?"

Soos is then back, thankfully clothed, holding the clock held together by duct tape.

'Almost there! Although, something off...' The Cuckoo Clock's floor falls apart'

"_Yeah, the bottom."_

'Ah-ha! It needs decorations!' Mabel enters the scene, drinking some juice and suggested, 'Oooh! Make it leopard print!'

The video fast forward and the clock now had a leopard object sweater with a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from it.

'Whoa... What else does it need?' Mabel asked and 3 had a feeling this will become an extreme makeover.

'A beach house! So the Cuckoo can live in style.' The cuckoo clock now has a mini-house taped to the right side. 'Ah, Bird is going to need some homies.' Now the bird was surrounded by 4 other wooden birds.

'I'll call you Kurt, Jaden, Carlos and D. Andrea!' Now the suggestions were getting out of hand.

'Some Boom boxes!'

'A slide! And a ball pit!'

'A pyrotechnics kit!'

'Real animal fur!'

'Lasers! LASERS, DUDE!'

Soon they were finish overloading the poor clock, 'What do you think?'

'It's too dope, I can't cope!' Soos declared in an overwhelmed voice. They soon went to Stan with Mabel holding the chart with the clock covered.

'Mr. Pines, are you ready for the grand unveiling of your brand new Cuckoo Clock?' Soos asked.

'You've joined forces with Mabel, this is an unsettling development.' _I'm with you old man. I'm with you. _

'Voila!' Soos uncovers the cuckoo clock and it is revealed to make music, light up in place and more many decorations Soos and Mabel wanted, for example the slide and the boom boxes and spotlights.

'So, Stan, What do you think?'

'Why is it permanently set to 1:50?' He asked, unconvinced.

'Its hands are in the air, like it just doesn't care!' A fist with thumbs-up jumps out of the clock, replacing the bird. 'So, one to ten, what do you give it?'

'Well, it doesn't make that horrible Cuckoo sound anymore, so... I don't know, ten out of ten, whatever.' Stan said, disinterestedly.

Soos's face froze in a 'happy' expression and dropped the cuckoo clock. This then triggered a cut scene that was filled with explosions, a volcano, a piñata, and Soos on a cliff edge screaming "Solved." Soon the video was Soos in his room, in front of another computer.

'Join us next time as we fix my computer, because I think I've crashed it permanently making some of those graphics.' The old computer monitor explodes. 'Did we get that? Save it for the explosions reel!' The video then cuts to static.

"Sooo, what do you think?" Soos asked excitedly.

"_It was…certainly interesting."_

"I know dude, right! By the way, here's the laptop. I pulled it out from under my bed and finished it when you were distracted by my awesome show!" He deposited the machine into her arms.

"_It's…a little heavy…" _3 gasped out.

"Yeah dude. It's like, a hundred pounds. Have fun carrying it back alone. I have to curl my grandma's hair for bingo. See ya dude."

"…_Maybe I should've let Dipper come with me."_

* * *

><p>3 finally made it to the Shack to find it empty. <em>"I'm back. Grunkle Stan? Dipper?"<em> Nothing answered her and she shuddered, remembering her dream_. Nothing's wrong, it was only a nightmare. There's no way a nightmare come to life; the only way that could happen if Bill Cipher was behind…the…nightmare… _

"_Is it possible? Or am I just being paranoid? No, it's just nerves. There's no way Bill is here."_

"No dice Hand!" A high voice screamed in her ear. She screamed and whirled around to see Bill Cipher floating behind her in the now black and white space.

"_Bill! What the hell are you doing here!? Did Gideon send you!?"_ She screamed at the demon.

"Nope, the ventriloquist dummy had nothing to do with it; no I'm just keeping my eye on you guys." Bill said, doubling in size and in a deep voice.

"_An 'eye?' The golf cart!?" _She cried, remembering the eye winking at her.

"Oh Hand, I had such high hopes for you. You only noticed me that one time and not for the past 3 weeks I've been haunting the Shack? I'm hurt." He said in false hurt and grabbing his chest.

"_Y-you've been here the past 3 weeks?"_ She asked, wide eyed then narrowed her eyes and glared at the demon_. "You've been behind Dipper's nightmares aren't you!? Why are you tormenting him!?"_

"Oh, Hand, Hand. I've done nothing to Pine Tree, I never gave him nightmare's; he's been doing it all on his own, I was just helping him remember them. I know, aren't I a great friend?" He said in a mocking voice. "Which reminds me, I got to help him remember. Ta ta, Hand." He laughed and floated up to the attic with 3 at his heels. _Damn it, damn it, damn it! The signs were all there in front of me! The nightmares, the symbols around town, the feeling of being watched, and my nightmare from last night! I mean come on, that eye was similar to the enraged eye from the Dreamscape! _3 screamed in her head and slammed the door open in time to see Bill waving mockingly at her as he went into Dipper's mind.

Dipper began to moan in pain and struggle in his sleep as 3 tried to shake him awake_. "Dipper, wake up! Bill is here!"_ She screamed as his eyes glowed blue and went limp. _3, what's wrong?_ 2 asked sleepily from his hiding place from under Mabel's stuffed animals. _"Bill has been invading Dipper's mind for weeks and now reentered his mind!" _3 screamed at her brother in her panic. _What!? Well follow him, quickly! _

"_You don't say! I would if I can remember the #$ & words! What was it!? Venique!? Magestic!? I can't remember!"_ She started tearing at her hair in frustration when she noticed something on the inside of her wrist. She blinked and moved her sleeve down to read the writing on her skin. **'It is possible to follow the demon into a person's mind and prevent his chaos; one must simply recite this incantation...'**

"_Well that's convenient."_ She ran down stairs and grabbed the candles and prepared the ritual around Dipper_. 3, are you sure about what you're doing? I mean there's a chance you could be stuck there,_ 2 asked his sister apprehensively. _"You don't understand 2, I owe Dipper and I will do anything to help him." Just-just be careful, you won't be doing him any favors if you lose yourself or get killed helping him. _

"_Don't worry I will be careful."_ She turned from away and placed her hand over his birthmark and chanted, _"Videntus omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus. Inceptus Nolanus overratus. Magister mentium. Magister mentium. Magister mentium!" _

* * *

><p>With a flash of light, 3 found herself in Dipper's mind scape that resembled the woods nearby the Shack and a suburban house she didn't recognize. Deducing that it was the twins home in Piedmont, she entered the home to see it wall to wall books lined up and stacked everywhere with a few game consoles scattered around here and there. Picking a random book and opening it, she saw Dipper spilling the voice serum on her and their first official meeting. She grabbed another to see him receiving the President's key from Trembley with Mabel in her Congress hat.<p>

_Okay, the books represent memories._ She thought, replacing the book; _maybe the consoles are dreams?_ She grabbed a handheld and flicked it on to see Dipper punching out Gideon and then him being stabbed, frowning she flicked it off and turned on another to see him winning the Puck for Wendy during the fair. _So consoles are accomplishments?_ She then saw him sadly giving that up for Waddles. _Accomplishments that later come back to bite him?_ She flicked it off and started pulling random books of shelves and finding nothing of significant. _ Now where would Bill be hiding? Maybe I should search for dreams or recent memories. _

She noticed an index on top of a stack nearby that said that dreams and traumatic incidents are located in the woods. _"At least he's tidier in his mind then in the real world." _She went into the woods to see reflections of dreams and more stressful memories in puddles and the dew in the spider webs and ground. She saw him being beaten by Rumble, the giant gnome, the pterodactyl, Gideon threating bodily harm, and, to her shock, 3's snapped form glaring down at him_. "Do I really look like that?"_ She asked softly to herself, she was cut off when she heard Dipper's scream echoing in the woods.

"Dipper!" She bulldozed through the forest to find Dipper in the recreation of the clearing where he found 3 and the bunker. He was surrounded by the same mist that surrounded Mabel and Soos from Stan's mind. _"Bill."_ She hissed, dripping with venom.

"You called, Hand?" He appeared next to her, giving off the vibes of self-satisfaction and spinning a cane that he pulled out from nowhere.

"_Why are you tormenting him?"_ She hissed in a tight voice, never taking her eyes off of Dipper.

"Like I said in the real world Hand, I'm not doing anything but watching his dream's, it just has the side effect of having him remember." He said in an uncaring voice and settling on the log next to her.

"_You enjoy peeking in a 12 year old boy's dream don't you, you sick pervert." _She snarled her eyes glowing and the area shock; however, she was cut off when Dipper let out a pained yell and groaned.

"Temper, temper. This isn't Stanford's mind, Hand. Pine Tree's mind is still fresh and impressionable, not an old and sable mind like Stanford's; if you lose your temper in here or mess around here, then you could permanently injure your precious Pine Tree's mind. You wouldn't want that, do you?" He said smugly.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm down and push down the sick panic as she realized that it also meant that she can't do what they did in Stan's mind either. _"What do you want, Cipher?"_ She asked tiredly.

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you over Pine Tree's whimpers."

"_What do I need to give you to leave Dipper's mind in peace?"_

"Now you're talking Hand." He said in a sing song voice and hovering over Dipper's form. "I'm a simple guy and in a generous mood. All I want is information."

"_You're not getting my entries, Cipher!"_ She yelled and the dreamscape shook again, causing Dipper to whimper and 3 reined in her temper. The demon laughed and said, "Nope, not after that right now."

"_Then what do you want?"_ 3 asked when the demon didn't elaborate.

"Wouldn't you like to know!? Well, I feel a little jilted that you didn't notice me until I revealed myself. So I'll let you guess."

"_How can I give you information if I don't know the question!?"_

"42! But seriously, it's to make sure you can't create a loop hole. You were an integral part in my later plans, but now that you're here, those plans are now scraped." He crossed his arms and gave the impression of pouting.

"_You…want to know how Dipper and Mabel met me before you're planned time."_ She asked curiously.

"Close, but not on the mark. However, I'm a little short on time right now; so here's the deal, I'll come get the information on a later date and in the meantime, I'll leave Pine Tree alone for now. Have we got a deal?" Bill said, holding out a hand shrouded in blue flames.

Everything screamed at her not to take the deal without more information; however, seeing Dipper in pain over ruled her. _"Very well."_ She said reluctantly shaking the hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Hand." He said backing up and preparing to leave.

"_Wait! Release Dipper from that mist!" _3 called.

"It's funny how dumb you are." Bill laughed, "I said I'd leave Pine Tree alone, that includes the mist. Besides, you know full well how to release him yourself. Remember: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!" Bill gave her a wink and salute before vanishing. 3 sighed and wondered what she was thinking before she entered the mist.

* * *

><p>It was similar to what she had encountered with Mabel, but a lot more detailed as it shifted from the bunker and inside the Gideon-bot. She continued walking when she heard the screams.<p>

"Dipper, help me!" That sounded like Mabel and that she was in a lot of pain. She started run forward as the screams got louder. "Oh God! It hurts!" Wendy.

"Gahh!" Stan.

"Oh no dude!" Soos.

"_Dipper, run!" _Herself.

She finally found Dipper held in the Gideon-bot's hand as various scenes played out in front of him. Gideon snapping killing Mabel with his amulet or when he crushed her with his robot. Wendy being killed in the haunted convenience store or in the bunker, where he made the wrong choice. Stan devoured by the zombies, Soos eaten by the pterodactyl and they never made up. And finally herself were she takes a hit for Dipper and bleeds out in his arms. All this was flashing in front of him and all their screams melded together in one huge mass of screams.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I should've saved you! I should have been the one to die, not any of you! I'm a worthless, weak, noodle armed boy who doesn't deserve your sacrifices!' He screamed into the sky, voice raw with emotion. "It should've been me…it should've been me…." He sobbed as 3 noticed the Gideon-bot preparing to bring down a gargantuan knife on top of Dipper.

"_Dipper, get away! You're gonna get killed!" _She screamed running towards him. He whirled at her wide eyed and screamed, "No, stay away! You'll just end up killed because of me!"

"_That's not-"_

"Yes it is!" He cut her off. "You always, always protect me, but I can never protect you! I couldn't protect you from Robbie or Gideon or the shape shifter! Every time we turn around you're getting injured protecting me and one day, it will do you in, I know it. I hate it; I hate the feeling of helplessness in me that I can't protect the ones I love and that one day I will get them killed!" He screamed at her as the knife got closer.

"_Dipper…"_ 3 whispered, stunned. She had no idea that he felt that way. Now that she thought about it, Dipper's nightmares started to occur after they found out that 3 could die from exsanguination and they got worse whenever she was injured. _"I-I had no idea…you…you actually feel that way." _

"3…you have to leave me alone." He told her, his hat obstructing his eyes, "If you remain with me, one day you will be killed. It would be better for everyone if I just disappeared…"

**SLAP!**

Dipper's eyes snapped open when 3 slapped him across the face. "3…?" His eyes widened when he saw tears running down her face. _"Are you really that stupid? Do you have any idea how WE feel!? We love you so much Dipper! You are practically the protector of the entire group! Without you everyone would be screwed! Without you, Mabel would've been kidnapped by gnomes or be trapped with Gideon! Wendy would have definitely killed by the ghosts without you saving her or Robbie would have done something unforgivable to her! Soos would probably friendless and lonely! 2 would still be in Gideon's control, helpless to escape! And Stan, Stan he would be without a son figure to prepare for life. As for me…I would still be trapped in the dark until I lost my mind or someone like Gideon found me…"_

"3…I-I had no idea…" He said wide eyed.

"_You…we love you Dipper, you never asked for us to put ourselves in danger for you, we did that on our own. We willingly put our lives on the line because we know you would do the same for us." _She wiped away some tears_. "Never, ever say we'd be better off without you again, Dip. Without you, well let's just say Gravity Falls wouldn't be the same."_

Dipper looked away and gave her a small smile and the knife that was heading toward him froze and dissolved into dust. The scenes of what might have been also dissolved as the mist cleared. He walked towards the still crying 3 and hugged her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for being so blind."

"_It's okay; just never doubt you or us again."_ 3 whispered as they left the dreamscape and found themselves on top of Dipper's bed.

"Wow that was a trip." Dipper muttered, holding his forehead.

"_You're telling me."_ 3 agreed_. "3! Dipper, are you two alright!?"_ 2 called over.

"_We're fine brother."_ She glanced at Dipper and smiled, "We're just fine."

"_That's a relief, you two were out for a whole hour, what happened in there!?"_ 2 pressed.

"I was just dealing with some issues with 3's help." Dipper assured the book and turned to 3. "Thanks again, and I'm sorry for not talking to you about what was bothering me. I guess I didn't want to endanger you further."

She smiled and lightly punched him, _"Shut up, it's alright. Just know you can talk to me about anything. Besides, you won't get rid of me so easily."_ He laughed which turned into a yawn. "With this all said and done, I might finally be able to get a decent night sleep." He snuggled under his blanket and closed his eyes. "By the way 3, you really have to tell me why you entered my mindscape when…I…wake…" He began to snore and 3 felt 2 give her a piercing 'stare.'

"_You didn't tell him about Cipher?" _he asked reproachfully.

3 sighed and lifted her brother from his hiding place. _"There wasn't enough time to tell him and look at him, he's finally sleeping. If I told him that Cipher was in his mind, we could kiss that goodbye."_

"_3, he has a right to know."_

"_I know that." _She said defensively, _"But, let's just wait for a while. Until he's better."_

"_Very well, but I hope you know what you're getting into 3, just know that if you play with fire, both you and him will get burned."_ 2 warned. 3 thought back to the blank check she'd written Cipher in the dreamscape and thought_, I believe I've already have._ She glanced at Dipper's sleeping face and decided it will be worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I would like to thank Channel Jumper for the idea's and all the Reviewers who've, well, review. I may do a Summerween short, but it maybe up after Halloween, depends on how busy I'll be.**


	24. Summerween

Summerween

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls or anything mentioned below.

Talk-normal

_Talk_-3 normal

"_Talk"-_ 3 speaking

**AN: Sorry for the late posting, I was too busy helping my mother with her garage sale. This takes part in between Into the Bunker and Interlude 4. Also, this will be different from the episode as Wendy has let Dipper down gently and is no longer dating Robbie. Also for guest reviewer Ronamation: I want to say that I already had the Interlude created and I wanted to post my last chapter before I made this one-shot. Happy late Dia de Muertos.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Stan, where are we going<em>?" 3 sleepily asked from her place in the backseat with the twins. It has been a few days since they've explored the bunker and found the laptop. They were sleeping back in the Shack when Stan came into the room, not questioning why 3 was there, screamed at them to wake up and stuffed them into his car.

"Patience, Polaris, you'll see when we get there!" Stan happily called over his shoulder as he took out a guardrail, a bird bath, and a mailbox.

"_S-shutting up now."_ 3 whimpered in fear, both from Stan's mood and the potential car accident that could occur if she distracted him. Stan finally pulled over, in the handicapped area, to a small building with a Halloweenish banner pinned over the doors.

"Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!" Stan announced dramatically as they all got out.

"Wait, Summer-what?" Dipper asked, tiredly looking at his Grunkle.

"Summerween!" He pulls out a calendar with today marked in a red circle and x. "The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!"

"Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?" Dipper asked, looking at Stan strangely.

There was a pause then a stubborn, "Yes."

"Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural." Mabel said unconvinced.

"_Indeed, Samhain is an important day of the year where the Gaelic celebrated the harvest and the beginning of the darkest half of the year. It is also believed that the line between the living and the dead is blurred and-"_ 3 began to explain but was cut off by Soos.

"There's free candy!"

"I'm in!" Mabel then ran into the store with Soos at her heels and Stan walking after them.

"_Oh hello again, responsive ground. At least you'd wait for me to finish before running off."_ 3 groused as Dipper chuckled.

"Let's go in after them." They entered the strip mall; it was filled with Halloween styled decorations and costumes. "Hey bro-bro, Aris! Push me in this wheel barrel!" Mabel called from her seat in the wheel barrel wearing a fake nose and glasses. The kids shared a grin and 3 got into the barrel with Mabel as Dipper pushed.

"TO THE COSTUME AISLE!" They yelled, passing Soos who was playing with an electrical skull and an exasperated employee. They also passed by Stan who was picking up a large barrel of fake blood. They entered the costume aisle and looked around.

"Okay, what should we get?" Mabel wondered, walking up and down the aisle.

"Hmm, what to choose…vampire, no…Frankenstein, no…a mummy? No." Dipper muttered.

"_There's not a lot of good costumes aren't there?"_ 3 said looking at a cheaply made bumblebee costume made from scraps of cloth. Mabel grinned and grabbed her hand sewer from her sweater and announced, "Don't worry, I can make our dream Summerween costumes that we have always wanted!"

"_We've only known about Summerween for about 5 minutes_." 3 pointed out and Mabel shushed her with a finger to her lips. "Shh…shshshhhh. That you've always wanted." Mabel whispered and smiled. 3 and Dipper shrugged and started grabbing random stuff that would later become their costumes and some bags of candy into the wheel barrel.

"TO THE CASHIER!" They yelled running towards the front of the store and crashed into the watermelon's that had faces carved into them.

"Uh-oh. Think this one's leaking!" They heard Stan call out while trying not to slip on the fake blood as Soos played with all the talking skulls. The store worker had enough and called security, "Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store."

"NOT TODAY!" Stan yelled, tossing one of his smoke bombs.

"MY EYES!" The lady screamed as they ran past her and got into the car.

"You paid for the stuff, right?' Mabel asked as they loaded everything into the car quickly.

"Of course!" Stan said smugly and backed up into a power line and the inflatable jack o' melon and shouted, "Let's move!"

* * *

><p>They got back to the Shack and quickly decorated it for Summerween with tombstone, a couple of skulls and a jack o' melon. They went back inside to discuss costume idea's with Soos already in his superhero costume, despite it still being early morning.<p>

"I'm so excited!" Mabel gushed, getting out paper to sketch costume ideas.

"We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy..."

"_Finally attend a yearly event, even if it's a not official holiday_." 3 added.

"And have the biggest stomachaches ever!" Mabel finished.

"Yeah!"

"_Indeed!"_

"Ha-ha, yeah!"

"Dude, I've never seen you guys so pumped." Soos pointed out from his chair.

"Well, back at home, me and Dipper were kind of the kings of Trick or Treating." She opens her album to show 3 and Soos and it showed the twins in identical costumes, including black cats, salt and pepper, and a pair of zombies, "Twins in costumes, the people eat it up."

"Well, you dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention..." He turns off lights and shines a flashlight in face, "the Summerween Trickster!"

"The Summer-what-what?" Mabel asked.

"The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit." Soos told the three.

"Well, you don't have to worry about us." Dipper declared, eating a piece of candy. "We've got spirit to go around." He pops it into his mouth and starts to cough, "Ugh! What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar?"

"This is all cheap-o loser candy!" Mabel cried out in disappointment.

"_What do you expect, Stan bought them."_ 3 pointed out, nibbling on some stale candy corn.

"Quiet your discontent, children, lest the Trickster overhear." Soos warned, grabbing some candy lips from the bowl.

"Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos." Dipper pointed out, leaving with the candy and 3 following after him

"Touché..." Soos muttered as they went to the window and started throwing out the candy.

"Goodbye loser candy!"

"_At lease keep the chocolate. Chocolate is chocolate."_ 3 pointed out, saving some bars and eating them. "Agreed." They went back upstairs to find Mabel working on their costumes with her back to the door.

"Heya guys!"

"_Hello."_

"Heya, Mabel, working on our costumes?" Dipper asked, taking out a can of Pitt cola and glancing over her shoulder. "Of course! Check it out!" She stood up and proudly showed them their costumes and they shared a wince. "Ta da! What do you guys think!?"

"Umm…Mabel?" Dipper began.

"_I, uh…"_

"I know, right! You two are speechless with amazement! It's totally us! Me and Dipper are peanut butter and jelly, while 3 is the big, soft, white bread that is never without us! We will totally own Summerween!" She said proudly, ignoring their troubled expressions. "Now off with you two, I have to make Waddle's costume." She shooed them out and shut the door in their faces.

"_I am NOT wearing that ridiculous costume."_ 3 declared.

"We have no choice; we don't have any other costumes." Dipper sighed, already thinking about the embarrassment he would face later tonight.

"_Then can't we ask Mabel to make us another one?"_

He stared at her in horror. "3 are you insane!? We can't do that!"

She glanced at him strangely_. "What do mean we can't? All we have to do is tell her that we don't like the costumes and ask politely if she will make us new ones. It's simple."_

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Oh man, I forgot you didn't know. You see 3; Mabel is 'really' invested with everything she does. And she will take it personally when someone criticizes her work."

"_I still don't understand."_

"Okay when someone insults her work she gets vindictive, but in stages. First stage: she seems fine, though a little terse. Second stage: she starts to become reclusive, glaring at anyone who interrupts her. Third and this is the final stage: when she seems to have forgotten about it, then WHAM! She replaces all your clothes with the work you insulted. Everything. From dress clothes to socks and underwear. All of it replaced by wool and in a design you dislike. And this lasts for weeks and only if you get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Then she will return your clothes in small articles. So unless you want to spend all next month in wool underwear, we'll have to suck it up."

"_Wait…didn't Pacifica insult her sweater? Why didn't her clothes disappear?"_ 3 asked curiously.

"She's in the second phase. Plus, she's still working on how to break into Pacifica's mansion and to prevent Pacifica from buying new clothes." Dipper said, like it was obvious. "Also, since you're not the target of her ire or haven't been with her your whole life, you don't notice the signs."

"_So that's why you put up with all the shit she puts you through!" _3 shouted, she had always thought it was strange Dipper never protests his involvement in one of Mabel's harebrained schemes.

"Language. And yes, that and she's my twin. Face it 3, the only way we'll get new costumes is that the costumes she'd already made disappears." Dipper informed her and walked away leaving her in the hall to chat with 2. Lately he's been talking to 2 a lot lately to pick his consciousness for clues to find their father.

"_I __really __don't want to wear that bread costume, but I also don't want to wear wool underwear. But what to do?"_ She walked away, unaware of the figure watching her.

* * *

><p>Later that night they heard the doorbell ring and Stan called, "Trick-or-Treaters. Quick! Give them that terrible candy." Dipper and 3 ran towards the door and opened the door, "Happy Summerw-AHH!" Dipper yelped, spilling the candy.<p>

"Sup squirts." Robbie sniffed, glaring at them from the door way.

Wendy walked over to the door to see who it was and why Dipper was screaming about, "Hey Dipper what's-Robbie!? What the hell are you doing here!?" She growled at her ex.

"Wendy!" The boys cried. Robbie quickly pulled out a boom box from out of nowhere and played some sappy music. "Wendy, I know we said some things and made mistakes, like listening to two disturbed twerps, but please, take me back and we can start over! We can hang out at Tambry's and rekindle our lost flame." He tried to convince her in what he thought was a suave voice.

"We!? You lied to me; you tricked me, and bullied and abandoned my friends! Go away Robbie. I will never ever date you ever again!" She screamed, pushing Dipper and 3 out of the way to get into Robbie's face.

"Oh come on babe! You would rather hang out with these babies trick-or-treating when you can go to the party with me!?"

"DO NOT CALL ME BABE! Why do you care if they go trick-or-treating or not? They are certainly more trust worthy then you!" Wendy yelled and slammed the door in his face and sighed. She glanced at the two shocked twelve year olds and smiled weakly. "Sorry you had to see that. That is totally not like me at all."

"_See what? I didn't see anything."_ 3 said, elbowing Dipper who realized what she was doing and grinned. "Yeah, it was just a ding dong ditch. Nothing to freak out over."

Wendy smiled and ruffled their hair. "You two are the best. Still, I'm sorry you had to see my melt down like that."

"_No problem."_ 3 assured the teen who frowned to herself. "Dang it, now I can't go to Tambry's now that I know Robbie's stalking the party."

"You can still go. You just have to avoid Robbie. Why don't me and 3 come with you? To provide a buffer and stuff." Dipper offered.

"Really? But I thought you two were going trick-or-treating with your sister?"

"_We were, but since Gompers ate our costumes, we might not get our costumes in time."_ 3 told her as said goat appeared behind her and sniffed her hand, she discreetly handed the goat a twenty, which it ate.

"Besides, we won't abandon you to be alone at a party." Dipper said confidently.

Wendy grinned at them and said, "You guys are the best! The party's at 9! Don't forget." Her phone suddenly buzzed and she pulled it out. "Oh, it's a text from Tambry. Be right back." She left the two as they went to the hallway to find Mabel, who decided to do a costume combo with Waddles and dressed up like a secretary with a dark skirt, white blouse and her hair in a bun showing off Waddles with a business man costume.

"File these documents under 'I', for 'I have a curly tail!'"

"I am so sweet I could eat myself." Candy called.

"Oh man guys, if you think this is great, then just wait until you see Dipper's and Polaris's costumes! They're amazing! Here they come now!"

Candy and Grenda turned to them with excitedly as they entered the room normally dressed.

"I get it; they are dress as each other! That is a very good Dipper costume, Polaris." Candy told Dipper, thinking he was 3.

Mabel looked at them shocked and asked, "What the hey-hey bro-bro, Aris, why aren't you in your costumes!?"

"Mabel, we don't have costumes anymore. The goat ate them remember?" Dipper informed his sister.

"Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you, I already made you new ones."

"_Wait, in the few hours we were gone, you already made new costumes for us?"_ 3 asked.

Mabel pouted and said, "Not from scratch since that dang goat put my work back a few paces. So I had to work with the things we've already got and winged it."

Dipper took a deep breath and said, "Look, thanks for the costumes, but we can't go trick-or-treating. We…uh, sort of uh…"

"_We promised Wendy we'd go to a party with her."_

"What?! But you promised us that you'd trick-or-treat with us!" Mabel cried feeling betrayed as the other two girls glared at them.

"We know that! But we didn't know you that you finished the costumes at the time. Besides, Robbie came by and really freaked her out. We didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone there so we offered to go." Dipper defended them.

"_Also Mabel, I seem to recall you promising to help Dipper but bailing on him not 5 seconds after promising him."_ 3 informed her coolly. Mabel blushed in shame but said, "But it's our first Summerween! Where's your Summerween spirt? It could be our last chance to trick-or-treat, and 3 never had a chance to!"

"_Mabel, calm down. We are just going to the party, besides, there's always Halloween, remember?"_ 3 assured her.

"But what about the candy!?"

Wendy at that moment walked in and called, "Hey, guys! Do you want to win yourself a lot of candy!?"

"Huh!?" The kids cried.

"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, Tambry texted and told me that her aunt and uncle decided to drop in and while they're cool, she had to change her party to a costume one with a contest at the end of the night: the best costume gets a whole boatload of candy." The teen informed them. "Also, she sent a mass text to everybody in town, so the pickings outside may not be good, by the way."

"Dipper, Polaris. Go upstairs and change into your costumes! We are going to that party and winning that costume contest!" Mabel announced as they cheered. Mabel then grabbed their arms and pulled them upstairs to see their new costumes. When they came downstairs, Dipper was dressed in his pre-teen wolf boy costume, this time with a torn up shirt and fake blood stains. 3 was dressed like Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, with the red jacket and a braided gold wig to match her eyes. **(A/N: they changed in separate rooms.) **While 3 was changing she heard the doorbell ring again and heard Mabel answer the door and there was a long pause before she shut the door, bidding whoever it was good bye.

"Mabel, who was at the door?" Dipper asked adjusting his fake ears; glad he had a shirt this time.

"Oh no one in particular, but a guy with real Summerween sprit!" She gushed.

"_What do you mean by that?"_ 3 asked, making sure her wig was in place.

"Well, he was a little old to be trick-or-treating, but he was really nice and told me he was disappointed that everyone was going to the party tonight, but was glad he caught us before we left. He even gave me this cool necklace!" She pulled out a ruby carved into a Jack o'Lantern that was glowing eerily. "It's pretty, but missing something…" She pulled out her bedazzler and bedazzled it. "That's better! Now let's go win some candy!"

* * *

><p>They traveled to Tambry's, which was a mountain villa believe it or not, and entered the house to see the party in full swing and pretty much everyone from town were crammed into the house.<p>

"Wow, pretty much everyone is here." Dipper said in awe, looking around. "Is that Toby Determined?" He asked, pointed at the man in a black leotard and cat makeup.

"_I think that's Tyler in the Loki costume."_ 3 pointed at the man cheering Manly Dan dressed in a Viking costume as he ate a whole roast at the buffet table out in the living room.

"I think almost everyone in town is here." Dipper said, looking at McGucket as he swung from the chandelier.

"Oh sure, Tambry sent a massive text to almost everybody, so this is one happening place." Wendy assured the kids.

"_Bet you're glad you came with us now, huh Mabel. Mabel?"_ 3 turned to look for her but she was longer next to her. She looked around frantically, until Dipper tapped her shoulder and pointed toward the make shift stage and facepalmed. Mabel had everyone in the room singing Halloween songs and had gotten into another contest with Pacifica, who was dressed as a pop star.

"_Oh, boy."_ She whispered as they started a sing off.

"Let's get some food." Dipper suggested as he led her to the kitchen where Wendy was hanging with her friends. Wendy was still in her regular clothes, but she now had two puncture wounds on her neck and a long black wig on to make it look like she was a vampire. Tambry was wearing a bride of Frankenstein outfit and still glued to her phone with Lee as the monster. Nate was dressed in a Zorro out fit with Thompson in a sumo wrestler outfit. "Hey, it's Dr. Fun Times and…" Lee froze when he saw 3 and he and Nate ran screaming, remembering the beating she gave them. "RUN! IT'S THE MACE WIELDING MANIAC!" They screamed as they ran out.

"_Maniac? How rude."_ 3 huffed as Dipper chuckled nervously. "Status Update: Have to steam clean floor before parents come back." Tambry muttered.

"Wow this is one happening party, thanks for coming with me, guys." Wendy told them as she handed them some soda. "Thanks, any sign of Robbie." Dipper asked, looking for the teenaged jerk. "Robbie's Status Update: Had to leave early, forgot how to eat a lollipop properly." Tambry answered with a faintly malicious smile, still typing.

"_How the hell do you eat a lollipop wrong?"_ 3 asked, faintly impressed.

"He ate it stick first." Thompson answered and then demonstrated with Tambry taking a video of it. "Aw, not again."

"Don't worry, I won't show it to anyone." Tambry said, still texting and Wendy's phone buzzed and she laughed, showing them the video of what they just saw.

"_Okay…Let's go check on Mabel."_ 3 suggested, going back to the living room to see Mabel singing the ending verse of "This is Halloween" from Nightmare before Christmas and they cheered her on.

"Won't you make ya please make way for a very special guy/our man jack is king of the pumpkin patch/everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now." As she was singing, a huge figure in a patched up trench coat and a smiley mask started to rise behind her.

"_Ah, Dipper? Is this normal?"_ 3 asked nervously to an equally nervous Dipper.

"I-I don't think so." He whispered as the crowd became deathly quiet.

"This is Halloween/this is Halloween." She was still singing when the mic the ripped from her hands and she whirled to see him mockingly continue the song only with different lyrics.

"This is Summerween/ Summerween! Summerween! Summerween!" He screamed into the mic as everyone covered their ears in pain as the man shoved Mabel off the stage where 3 and Dipper, who had made their way to the front of the crowd, caught her before she could hit the floor.

"Who are you and what is your problem!?" Dipper yelled at the man as he and 3 shouldered Mabel behind them.

"Silence you nonbelievers!" The creature hissed at Dipper and the crowd. It held back up the mic and began his speech. "I am the Summerween Trickster and I am here to punish all of you here." He laughed as the people panicked and headed for the doors as they slammed shut in their faces. "There is no escape for you. Heh heh, you all will spend the rest of your lives here, which will last till the end of the night. All of you have lacked the Summerween spirt, some of you more than others." It turned to glare at 3 and Dipper, and returned its gaze to the rest of the crowd. "However, there is a way for you to avoid this fate; normally I would treat you to a game of Trick-or-Die by gathering 500 pieces of candy, but since all of you are here and not handing out candy, I have another game we can play. It is a game of Hide and Seek. I have hidden a mystical artifact somewhere in this home. If any one of you could find it by midnight tonight, then I'll let you all go. However, while you're searching I shall be hunting you all down and when I catch you…" He grabbed a kid near him and ate him.

"Remember me!" He screamed as he went down the Trickster's throat.

"He is but an example of what I will do. The clock is ticking" The trickster vanished, it was unnaturally still then all hell broke loose as everyone gave into their panic and rampaged. 3 was shoved to the ground and grabbed on to Dipper to avoid being trampled as everyone fled to different areas of the house until everyone but 3, Dipper, Mabel, Candy, Grenda, and Soos was gone.

"What do we do!? What do we do!?" Grenda yelled, shaking Dipper in desperation.

"Who was that guy?" Candy asked, scared.

"The Summerween Trickster! Oh man, dude, we are in crazy bonkers trouble." Soos told them, sweating nervously.

3 went to the doors and tried to pry it open, but they wouldn't budge. She tried the windows and even tried breaking the glass but couldn't crack it open. _"Damn." _She panted. _"We're trapped."_

"I guess the only way to escape is if we find this artifact and avoid the Trickster before midnight and it's…" He glanced at his watch, "9:56. So we have 2 hours and four minutes to find this artifact and survive. It would help if it told us what we are looking for." Dipper groaned as he ripped at his hair in frustration.

"_I don't know what it could be; all we know is that the Trickster could've hidden it anywhere. So we should start looking; we should probably split up and cover more ground."_ 3 said looking at the group.

"Oh! It's just like Scooby Doo! I'll be Daphne!" Mabel called.

"Aw, I wanted to be Daphne." Grenda groaned.

"I call dips on Scooby." Soos said, raising his hand.

"_No dips!"_ 3 yelled_. "Any way, here are the groups. Mabel, you, Candy, and Grenda will search the bottom floor."_

The three nodded in determination and walked into the door way at the same time, getting stuck until they all crumpled in. "Soos, you'll look in the garage." Soos saluted and went walked away, leaving 3 and Dipper alone.

* * *

><p>"So I guess we'll go upstairs?" Dipper asked. 3 nodded and they walked upstairs, passing some people still running around and hiding, trying not to be caught by the Trickster.<p>

"Man, this bites." Dipper groaned as they searched the bedrooms and found people crammed in the closet and under the bed.

"_I know, it feels like we're the only ones looking."_ 3 agreed as she opened a draw and found Toby had stuffed himself into the drawer. _"How did you fit in this?" _She asked the reporter, dumbfounded.

"I'm a natural contortionist. Want to watch me wrench my foot backward over my shoulder?"

"_No."_ She slammed the drawer closed as he made a disappointed groan.

"It would be so much easier if we knew what we were looking for. At least we have light." Dipper said, trying to sound optimistic…just as the lights went out. "I just had to open my mouth." He sighed.

"You got that right kid." Someone in the wardrobe answered.

"_Ignore Nardia over there; I think we can find some flashlights or candles in the bathroom."_ 3 told him as they fumbled over to the bathroom and found some bandages and candles and matches. _"This will do until we find some flashlights." _She informed him as they lit a candle each; they walked down the hallway, occasionally jumping when they heard bone chilling screams from somewhere in the house and bowed their heads as another fell victim to the Trickster.

"_Man…"_ 3 finally said as they walked in silence for a while, wanting to break the tense silence, _"I would hate it if a giant, blue oni popped out. What time is it?"_

"Its 11:20 and what the heck are you talking about, by the way?" He asked in confusion.

"_Oh, I'm just referencing a video game where four teens go into a haunted house and are hunted down by blue trolls." _3 said, shielding her flame from the large heater they just pasted.

"Okay…do you think they're scarier than the Trickster?" Dipper asked her.

"_Well they pop out of nowhere and continue to chase you until you out run them or get caught. So they are scarier."_

"Oh, really?" The heater they just pasted said. They shrieked and whirled around to see the Trickster lit by their candles. "I think I'm scarier than some blue trolls, my dear. Tick tock, you lose." His body bloated and blew out their candles as they screamed and 3 stabbed her candle holder into one of the mask's eye holes.

"ARGH! YOU BRATS!" It shrieked as they fled. In the dark, they heard it stomping after them through the hall and screaming in anger and pain as they grabbed random items in the hall and throwing it at the Trickster.

"Go, go, go, go!" Dipper chanted as he grabbed a house plant and flung it, temporality blinding it with the soil. They hid in the closet, and prayed as the Trickster laughed as it came closer.

"Come out; come out, wherever you are. You two are trapped." They saw a shadow from the opening and they drew closer together and shut their eyes, praying that it would be over. Suddenly they heard a crash and heard Toby yell, "Ow I've fallen from my hiding place in the first bedroom towards the left with the joining bedroom with a load of people shushing me!" The Trickster paused and the shadow slowly crawled away. 3 and Dipper stayed still, still holding their breaths until they heard screaming from the other side of the house.

"That! That was intense." Dipper panted.

"_Yeah, I thought for sure we would've been eaten."_ 3 agreed. They waited a few more minutes until they peeked out of the closet to see if the coast was clear.

"We have to find Mabel and the others." Dipper told her as they reentered the hallway. "_Yeah, but where do you think they are?"_

"Maybe we should look in the lower floors." They glanced at where the Trickster must've gone and gulped. "Maybe we should find another set of stairs." Dipper weakly suggested.

"_Agreed." _

* * *

><p>They eventually found a small stairwell and started looking through the rooms, trying not to be caught by the Trickster.<p>

"Where are they?" Dipper whispered, fearing for what could've befallen his sister.

"_I don't know bu-"_ 3 was cut off when they heard Mabel scream. They started running for the basement and heard Mabel scream again.

"Ahhh! Dipper!" They found themselves in front of the door and tore it open. They saw the Trickster clutching Grenda, and Candy in one hand and dangling Mabel over his mouth with the other, preparing to eat her.

"Mabel! Let her go!" Dipper screamed as the Trickster laughed evilly and grabbed Dipper and 3 around their waists. They screamed when the wall suddenly exploded and 3 saw Soos in a trunk, ramming it in the middle, causing it to collapse and dropping the kids in a heap.

"_Soos!"_

"We're alive! Yeah!" Grenda cheered as Soos skidded to a halt in front of them.

"Woah. That wasn't like, a regular pedestrian, was it?" Soos asked in concern, looking at the fallen figure.

"It was the monster!" Mabel told him, reassuringly as they climbed into the car.

"Let's get out of here." Candy told them fearfully.

"Thanks Soos. Phew. I'm just glad it's over, right?" Dipper asked hopefully.

"Did everyone remember to put on their seatbelts?" Soos asked them.

"Yes." The kids said and Soos tried to start it but it stalled. "Uh, dudes, I think the crash knocked out the battery." He told them, popping open the hood.

"_So we're trapped again…"_ 3 said as they all visibly deflated as Mabel rubbed her arm.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Dipper asked his twin in concern.

"Oh, I banged my elbow on something metallic when it grabbed me." She told them.

"_Let me see it, it could be bleeding. I think I grabbed some bandages when we were in the bathroom."_ 3 told her as she shoved the sleeve up to look at it.

"Uh, guys?" Mabel said shakily and they turned to see the Trickster reforming and looking pissed. They screamed and ducked, causing it to slam into a support beam.

"We have to hide!" Dipper yelled and they split up, they tried to run for the door, but were cut off when the Trickster leaped in front of it. "It's blocking the only exit." They fled back to the shadows and waited for the Trickster to pass by. "Everyone, stay quiet!" Dipper whispered as they heard the Trickster sniff the air, searching for them. The Trickster went to the back of the roomed and roared in frustration, slamming a clawed hand in the boxes lining the walls.

"We have to escape." Candy whispered frantically to the group.

"What if it sees us?" Grenda whispered back.

"_We have to find that artifact to end this, but we have no idea what it is."_ 3 said in frustration.

"Well we're not finding it down here; we have to get away from the Trickster, but how?" Dipper asked. 3 looked around and noticed a baseball next to her, she crawled over and chucked the ball into the radiator, causing the Trickster to investigate and they started to sneak up the stairs and found themselves back in the hallway.

"That…was close." Dipper sighed.

"_If we don't find that artifact soon, we're toast_." 3 reminded them.

"I know, if we die here, I will never be able to improve my new necklace!" Mabel said as she pulled out her bejeweled necklace to show them. Dipper's eyes widened and asked, "Mabel, that the guy who gave you that…what did he look like again?"

"Well he was in a trench coat and mask so I didn't see his face, but all I know that the trench coat was mended a whole lot." Her eyes then widened also, "In fact it looked a lot like what the Trickster was wearing. You don't think?" She asked her twin.

"That's the artifact!"

"The Trickster stole his clothes!"

"Wait, what?" They said at the same time. Mabel smiled, embarrassed then perked up. "We found it, now we can end tonight!"

Soos took the necklace and examined it, "Hmm…in my professional opinion, we should probably break it." He placed it on the floor and was about to break it when the Trickster exploded from the doorway and swallowed Soos and the amulet and laughed maliciously.

"Hahaha! And you were so close!"

"_Hey! We found the amulet fair and square; you have to keep your end of the deal and leave!"_ 3 screamed at the Trickster with glowing eyes.

"Ha! I don't recall making any deals with you! I said you will escape your fate by finding this." He spat out the amulet and waved it in front of them tauntingly. "By midnight, and would you look at this, it's now midnight. So, everyone it finished!" He laughed evilly as Dipper looked around and saw a tub filled with fake weapons and the destroyed pieces of wood around them.

"Everyone grab a weapon! We are not going down without a fight!" Dipper called, grabbing a 2x4. "Hey monster!" He yelled, getting its attention as they started hacking at it with the plastic weapons and wood until Grenda chopped off one of his arms.

"Salt water taffy? Gross!" She called in distaste.

Dipper hacks at a leg and asks puzzled, "What are you-?" He tasted a piece and widened his eyes, "Wait, it is".

"_You mean this monster is a candy monster?"_ 3 called, licking a piece, _not bad._

"You really haven't figured it out yet?" It picks the kids up and pulled them closer to his face, "Don't you recognize me? Look at my face! Look closely." It pulls its mask off to reveal that it was made from candy that 3 and Dipper had thrown out earlier that day.

"_How-!?"_ 3 cried in shock as the twins screamed in horror.

"Loser candy!" Mabel called.

"That's right! Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'REJECTED' candy into the dump. Then, one day, someone threw this amulet on top of that pile and I came to life and I decided to seek revenge; revenge on the picky children who cast me aside. I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with like that white, powder stuff on it. You know that stuff!" He accused them.

"I hate that stuff!" Mabel agreed.

"No one would eat me. But now, I'm going to eat you." The trickster said maliciously and raised Dipper, Mabel, and 3 to his mouth to eat them children but was interrupted by a weird sound is heard in the Trickster's stomach.

"What is that?" He asked in confusion.

"_Maybe it was something you ate!"_ 3 called grinning; she had realized what happened as Soos rips through the Trickster's body screaming reminiscently like a chestburster.

"Sup bro?" He greeted threw a mouth full of candy as the Trickster collapsed to the ground, vomiting jelly beans and going still.

"Dudes, you want some of this?" Soos asked the kids, who violently shook their heads.

"Wait, you actually think I taste good?" The Trickster asked weakly.

"Uh, sure! You know." Soos shrugged, still eating.

"All I've ever wanted is for someone to say that I was... good. I'm so happy!" He whispered as candy corn fell from his eyes and fell silent and he let go of the amulet, making it fall to the ground and roll to a stop at 3's feet.

"Crying makes it a little weird, but, guess I'm still eating." Soos said taking another bite as the people the Trickster previously ate broke through its chest.

"Sup, Gorney?" Soos greeted the kid that was first eaten.

"I've been twaumatized!" Gorney announced and walked away as more people followed after him, still in shock.

"_I can't believe that this amulet caused all of this."_ 3 told them as she held the amulet.

"Yeah, it really freaks you out." Dipper agreed as Grenda grabbed it from her hands.

"_What!? Hey don't!"_

"We should smash it!" She called as she tried to break it with a metal pipe, but the pipe broke as it connected with the jewel and sent Grenda sprawling across the room.

"I'm okay…" She groaned weakly as 3 reclaimed it.

"Guess we can't break it…" Dipper said obviously.

"_I think we should keep it for now. Who knows, maybe it could be useful later on."_ 3 told them as she slipped the glowing amulet into her coat pocket.

* * *

><p>After telling those who were still in the house that the Trickster was gone and making up a quick cover story by saying it was just an elaborate prank, they found Wendy still in the living room with Tambry.<p>

"Guys! Oh, I am so glad you're all okay!" She called when she caught sight of them.

"Wendy! Are you okay?" Dipper asked her.

"Yeah, me and Tambry hid in the pantry all night with Thompson. What about you guys?" She asked in concern.

"_We ran through the halls and fought off a giant candy monster_." 3 said point blankly as Mabel's stomach grumbled.

"In all the excitement, we never got our candy." Mabel cried, holding her stomach. Wendy smirked at them and said, "Well, since you fought that monster and we are pretty much the only ones left, I guess that makes us the winners, right Tambry?" She told them as she glanced at her friend, who shrugged and jerked her head towards another closet.

Mabel walked over to it and opened the door, causing a candy avalanche as the others cheered.

"This is the best Summerween ever!"

* * *

><p>Dipper, Mabel, 3, Wendy, Soos, Candy, and Grenda soon returned to the Shack, passing by two kids screaming their heads off in terror. Dipper and 3 exchanged looks and said knowingly, together, "Grunkle Stan." They went inside to see Stan still in his underwear laughing to himself on his chair.<p>

"Hey Stan!" Dipper and 3 greeted as they walked in.

"Hi Grunkle Stan!"

"Hello Mr. Pines!"

"How's it hanging?" He greeted back.

"_Oh, same old, same old."_ 3 told him as they all dropped down exhaustedly around the den.

"We got a whole bunch of candy. We are going to be so sick!" Mabel gushed, as they each held up their straining sack to show him.

"Candy? Sick? Well, how about you guys getting even sicker?" He called as he held up his own sack of candy as everyone cheered and settled down to watch the late night horror movie marathon.

'And now back to the fear guide from Terror Town Street.' The TV announced as it showed a woman and a fake alien screaming at each other as they laughed.

"You know, kids? I've been thinking." Stan began, "At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHA!" He finished, laughing manically and everyone else joined in until Soos said.

"I ate a man alive tonight." Everyone pause to stare at Soos in bewilderment. 3 shook her head and fingered the amulet that was in her pocket and wondered who or what could've given it to the Trickster.

* * *

><p>The next morning they went back out to get the now cheaper candy to add to their horde when they passed by an enraged Pacifica who was scratching at her clothes.<p>

3 and Dipper shared a look and on closer inspection, they realized all of her clothes were now woolen and decorated with little puppies and basketballs.

They glanced at Mabel who grinned knowingly and walked into the store.

Dipper then said, "We didn't see anything." He then followed his sister into the store as 3 thought to herself. _I hope Mabel never finds out that it was me who let Gompers into the room and let him eat the costumes._


	25. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Talk-normal

_Talk_-thinking/ books talking to each other.

"_Talk"-_3 talking

**A/N: Sorry once again for the late update, I can't tell you how many times I had to revise and rewrite this chapter. Recently, another author had made a story based on this. It's called "Journal 2" by Forestspirit of Thunderclan. Its 2's thoughts and feelings from when he was in Gideon's possession. You should check it out if you want. On with the story!**

* * *

><p>Sock Opera<p>

"Alright, Mabel, 3, and 2, today is the big day." Dipper announced as they walked into the Gravity Falls library and started to set up the now fixed laptop. It's been two day's since 3's clash with Bill, and they were finally ready to start looking through the device to find the Journal's Father.

"Big day!" Mabel agreed as 3 swallowed with excitement and nodded as she held 2 tighter. 2 wanted to come with them to find out more about their father and to watch over 3 to make sure she would not be alone when Cipher came to collect.

"Soos finally fixed up the laptop. If this thing works, we could learn the identity of the author and unravel the greatest mysteries of Gravity Falls. You guys ready?"

"Oh, I'm ready, baby." Mabel agreed as she flips through pages of a random pop-up book with a drawing of an infant. 'Ma-ma.' It cooed as 2, 3, and Dipper exchanged looks. _Where did that come from?_ 2 asked.

"_Don't question it."_ 3 said, patting his spine. _"Trust me on this."_

Dipper and Mabel glanced at her and shrugged; Dipper then turned around and started powering up the laptop. "This is it. This is it" Dipper whispered excitedly as laptop's the screen crackles to life and started to show designs that looked familiar to the Journal's.

"_That's the portal design!"_ 2 exclaimed.

"Really!?" Dipper asked.

"_Trust me; it's not something I'll forget."_

"Do you know what this means?! This means that this is really the author's laptop! We can finally get some answers!" Dipper said joyfully as the computer finished loading and it read, 'Welcome'. "Aha! It worked." He cheered as they high-five each other.

"_Finally, a solid lead."_ 3 sighed in happiness.

"_I don't know, this is too easy."_ 2 pointed out. "_From what I remember, which isn't much; Father was very paranoid and would never just leave unprotected information lying around."_ Just as he said that, an alarmed sounded from the laptop and now read, '/UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS FORBIDDEN/', it then redirected to a password entry screen.

"_You just had to say something!"_ 3 groaned.

"_Hey, I warned you."_

"Ugh! Of course, a password." Dipper groaned.

"Don't you guys worry. With all your brains, or whatever it is books have, and my laser focus, there is literally nothing that can distract us from... Did you hear that?" Mabel interrupted herself. They listened and heard someone singing in the kids section; they turned their attention to the area to see a blonde hair and blue eyed boy preforming a puppet show for a group of children.

"All my life I've been dreaming of a love that's right for me. And now I finally know her name and it's..." He looked at the kids and said in a normal tone, "Sing it with me kids. Literacy!" He then made the Bee puppet speak, "I finally understand what all the buzz is about. Reading!" He held up the Book puppet, "Give me some of that honey!" They then kissed for the children as the boy laughed.

"_That's mildly offensive towards books."_ 2 quipped in disgust as the puppets made out. _Agreed._ The books nearby chimed in. 3 shook her head and turned her attention to see Mabel playing with another pop-up book of a heart chanting, "Ba bump. Ba bump."

"Oh, boy." Dipper, 2, and 3 groaned.

"_Does this happen often?"_ 2 asked his sister.

"_You have no idea."_ 3 informed him as she returned her attention towards Mabel's crush of the week.

"Haha. Thank you, thank you." He told the kids as their parents carted them away. "Just when I thought I would never get another summer boyfriend, of course, you show up at my doorstep." Mabel sighed dreamily.

Dipper ignored her and walked over to a bookshelf to pull out a cryptology book and returned to the desk they were currently occupying and started flipping through the book, "Okay, this cryptology book says that there are 7.2 million 8-letter words. I'll type, you read. Okay, Mabel? Mabel?" They looked over to see the chair Mabel was previously occupying spinning around, empty.

"_I think she just broke the speed of sound!"_ 2 said in surprise as he 'watched' Mabel clamber onto a rolling shelf and rolled over to introduce herself to the boy.

"No, there wasn't a sonic boom this time; no she broke the speed of 'love at first sight' or whatever she calls it." Dipper said sullenly, miffed that his sister abandon him again.

"_Aw, don't be like that. We'll help you, Dipper."_ 3 assured him as she grabbed the book as Dipper typed in words.

"_Try, ALCHEMIC."_

**BUZZ**, "No."

"_Okay,_ _CATACOMB?"_

**BUZZ**, "No."

"_BANSHEES?"_

**BUZZ**, "Nope."

"_How about USERNAME?"_ 2 joked.

**BUZZ**, "Na-uh."

"_Maybe, PASSWORD?"_ 3 asked.

**BUZZ**, Dipper groaned as Mabel came back and sat back down next to him, "Huh…So, how'd it go?" He asked her, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"_Try, CYPHERED."_

"Dipper, how hard do you think it'd be to write and compose a sock puppet rock opera with lights, original music and live pyrotechnics by Friday?" Mabel asked out of the blue as the computer buzzed again.

"What!?" They cried as Dipper grabbed her shoulders, "Mabel, are you serious!?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I got lost in his eyes and his ponytail and I'm gonna be so embarrassed on Friday if I don't have ANYTHING." Mabel cried.

"_Then why did you say you did!?"_ 3 yelled, causing nearby patrons to shush her.

"What about cracking this password? You know mystery twins?" Dipper asked, bumping his fists together, imploringly.

"If you help me with this for just a couple of days I promise I'll help with the password! Please, pretty please! It's for love, Dipper." She pleaded, wide eyed.

Dipper glanced at the Journal's and they shrugged reluctantly. He sighed and smiled weakly, "All right, okay-" He was cut off when Mabel glomped him and screamed in joy, "YES! THANK YOU! THIS GUY! HE'S NUMBER ONE!" She announced to the other patrons, pointing at the embarrassed 2, 3, and Dipper who tried to get her to quiet down.

"Okay, okay, okay, shhhh..." The librarian then walked up to them and politely asked them to leave.

"I can't wait to get to the bottom of this laptop. We're close to something big here; I can feel it..." Dipper told them as they exited the library.

"_I know, we will soon find out where are Father could be."_ 3 told them happily as she held her brother.

"_Yes, we might also find out what scared him enough to hide us."_ 2 agreed then 'frowned' when he felt his sister shiver. _What's wrong? _He asked her quietly.

_Nothing, just felt like someone just walked over my grave. _

* * *

><p>They swung by the thrift shop and bought used socks to prepare for Mabel's puppet shop and they split off. Mabel drafted, Stan, Soos, and Wendy to help make her sock puppets and sets. While Dipper, 2, 3, and the occasional input from 1, went off to try cracking the password when they weren't helping Mabel.<p>

The day before the puppet show, they were all gathered in the living room working on sock puppets when Mabel called them all to attention, "Alright. This is gonna be called Glove Story: A Sock Opera. Just to warn you, people's eyes will get wet. Cause they'll be crying. From laughter! From how tragic it is."

3 was trying to rip off the puppets that were somehow glued to Dipper's face without hurting him and he said, "Yeah, um. That's sounds great." He coughed up some multi colored pom-poms.

"_Keep telling yourself that, though as long as Bear-o isn't in it, I think it'll be a hit. Seriously, how did these get glued onto your face?"_ 3 muttered through clenched teeth while she pulled

"I'm not-Ah!" Dipper screamed as 3 finally tore one off.

"_Sorry."_

"Come on, Dipper, Aris, you gotta roll with Mabel's craziness. It's what makes life worth living." Wendy told them as she blow dried some puppets as Mabel began singing as she played on the keyboard next to her.

"Puppet boy, Puppet boy, you're the boy I-"

"Loooooovvvvveeee!" Everyone sang as Stan walked in with a soda.

"Not even gonna ask." He said, turning around.

* * *

><p>That night, Mabel was preparing for bed and was bidding her puppets goodnight while 3 and Dipper were crowded around the laptop with 1 and 2 on his bed.<p>

"Goodnight, my babies." She takes a Gabe puppet and makes it kiss the Mabel puppet. "Mwop mwop mwop mwop. Mwah! Soon, Gabe Benson."

**BUZZ**

"Ugh, wrong password, WRONG, WRONG! UGH!" Dipper groaned as he fell back on the bed as 2 and 3 looked at him in concern.

"Don't stay up all night, Dipper. Last time you got this sleep-deprived you tried to eat your own shirt." Mabel warned.

"_Tell me about it, he almost got hit by a parked car."_ 3 sighed. She just cured him of his nightmares a week ago and now he's back at it. She looked at him strangely as he started gnawing on his shirt.

"Just a few more tries." Dipper told her after spitting the fabric out.

_Wow Dipper is really into this._ 2 told his sister through their link.

_I know! He's really obsessed with trying to find that password._ 3 agreed.

_I really hope he doesn't get desperate enough to do something stupid._ 1 chimed in.

_1, you're speaking! _3 said excitedly then huffed in disappointment when 1 didn't respond again.

_Maybe it's not a word, maybe it's a number?_ 2 suggested.

"_Oh god, I hope not; then it'll be impossible."_ 3 said out loud, rubbing her face.

"Aah, 3, who are you talking to?" Dipper asked as he and his sister looked at her weirdly.

"_Oh, just talking to my brothers. Well brother, 1 already used up his 12 word limit for the month." _3 groused, glaring at her eldest brother.

"Really?" Mabel asked, sitting up as 3 nodded.

"I've always wondered, 3." Dipper began, temporary forgetting about the password for a moment.

"_What?"_

"Why is it you needed a potion to speak, when your brothers can speak aloud just fine?"

"_Oh, we're just pirating off of 3."_ 2 told them nonchalantly.

"What!?" Dipper, Mabel, and 3 yelled in surprise. Mabel scrambled from her bed and grabbed 2 and started to shake him. "Why didn't you tell me you were a pirate!? Why don't you ever say 'Arrr' in any sentences!?"

"_Not that pirate, Mabel."_ 2 sighed. _"Well a better example would be is that we're using 3 as a chellophone and a tower."_

"Cellphone." Dipper corrected.

"_That too. Basically, we're using 3 as a phone; as long as 3 is in the room, we can freely speak with you. 3 walk out of the room to demonstrate."_ 3 got up and as she got further away, 2's voice became fainter and fainter till it all together vanished until 3 went back into the room.

"That's amazing!" Mabel gushed. "It's like telepathy! You three are like twins plus one! Trilepathy! Dipper!? Why don't we have twinlepathy!?" She demanded as she shook her brother.

"So that's why you never talk when 3 isn't in the room!" Dipper said, prying his sister's hands off. "Anyway." Dipper grabbed the laptop and started to walk out of the room. "I'll go out to the roof so I don't disturb you. Goodnight." He left the room as Mabel heaved a sigh and turned to 3. "Make sure he sleeps."

"_No promises."_

* * *

><p>3 grabbed one of Mabel's jackets and followed him up to the roof where he was typing obsessively with one hand while drinking a soda with the other. <em>"You know, I think you might get better results if you hit the hay."<em> 3 said, crossing her arms.

He jumped and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, 3. But I just have to crack this password and we will finally have a solid lead on finding your father."

"_Still, if you die from falling off the roof due to lack of sleep, we won't be any closer to finding him."_

"Just give me a few more tries. An hour, come on please?" Dipper begged wide eyed. 3 rolled her eyes and nodded.

7 Hours later…3 was dozing in Wendy's lawn chair, twitching whenever she heard the buzzing of the computer. "Ugh, I can't take that sound anymore." He groaned. "I. Hate. You. Sound. There has to be some shortcut or clue. Who would know about secret codes?" He moaned as he slammed on the keyboard.

3 in worldly sighed_, I, really, really hope it's not a number or else Dipper will kill himself with exhaustion. _There was a thump and she opened her eyes to see Dipper snoozing on the laptop and the sky starting to get brighter_, he finally exhausted himself to sleep and it only took 7 hours, _3 smiled to herself as she got up to carry him to bed. She was reaching for him when she drew back in alarm when the world started to lose color.

"How's it going Hand?" A high voice screamed behind her.

"_Cipher! What are you doing here!?"_ 3 cried, whirling around to face him.

"Aw, you're so cold hand, get it cold hands!? Haha, I'm hilarious!" The demonic triangle sidled over and slung an arm over her shoulders. "You're as paranoid as Pine Tree here." He pointed at Dipper. "Can't a guy chat with a friend for no ulterior motive?"

"_We're not friends Cipher, what do you want?" _3 snarled, moving in front of Dipper protectively.

"You're wasting your time there. I'm chatting with Pine Tree as well." Bill said smugly, lazily spinning his cane around.

"_N-no you're not."_

"Yeah huh, a copy of myself is chatting with Pine Tree while I'm chatting with you. We're having a three-way!"

3 narrowed her eyes at the smug demon_. "We had a deal, Cipher we agreed that you'll stay out of Dipper's skull."_

"Hmm, yes that was the deal. I'm holding up my end of the bargain here Hand. Observe." He enlarged himself to show the scene in Dipper's mindscape. 'I'm a little short on time right now; so here's the deal, I'll come get the information on a later date and in the meantime, I'll leave Pine Tree alone for now.' Past Bill said.

"See, I have time now and I'm ready to collect your end of the bargain. Once I get my answer's I leave Pine Tree's head." Bill said happily.

"_Fine, what do you want to know?"_ 3 asked reluctantly.

"What, no other questions or accusations? You're no fun."

"_Just get to the damn point!"_

"Sheesh, impatient much? Well Hand I have two questions for you." He got into her face and was disappointed that she didn't flinch. "How is it Shooting Star and Pine Tree knew about your sentience?"

"_Wait-you knew we were alive!?"_ 3 gasped.

"Nope, but I do know!" He said cheerfully then said in a dark voice, "Besides, I'm the one asking questions here, Hand. You better answer."

"_Fine! Dipper got really upset with his friends and family over his high voice and he came back to the Shack with a voice changing potion. He tripped and fell over, dropping the serum on me, giving me the ability to speak. Happy now!?"_ 3 snapped.

"Almost, you just have to answer one more." Bill said distractedly, taking in the information. "How did you get that body there?"

"_It's your fault I got this body. When we chased you into Stan's mind, it managed to loosen my conscious enough that I could make my own form."_

"That's where you're wrong, Hand. A single trip to the Dreamscape wouldn't be enough to create a body. Trust me on this, I've tried. No, no, there must've been other variables that caused you in-body experience. Think, have there been ANY other times you've been outta body? Or very emotional?" He asked, looking hard at her.

3 hesitantly answered, _"Well…there was the body swapping carpet where I spent a few hours in Mabel's body and all the times Gideon threatened Dipper with bodily harm."_

"That could work…" Bill said to himself, not realizing he spoke aloud. "But you still haven't answered my question. How did you get a body of your own?"

3 was getting irritated and snapped, _"Look! When that former partner of yours, Gideon 'I'm so freaken adorable and won't hurt a fly' Gleeful STABBED Dipper in the abdomen and splattered his blood on my cover, I got a body, and beat the living shit out of him!"_ she finished screaming.

Bill didn't react for a moment but he looked amused and oddly satisfied. "Hmm that's nice; I was worried there for a second." 3 was taken aback by that then Bill floated back up to her and patted her head. "Thanks for the info, Hand. I'll keep my end and end my conversation with Pine Tree. Ta for now." Bill vanished with a wave and the world regained color just as Dipper woke up screaming.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Oh, man 3." Dipper gasped, when he caught sight of a still shell shocked 3 still staring ahead of her. "You won't believe what just happened."

"_Bill Cipher…"_

Dipper stared at her wide eyed and asked, "How did you know that?"

"_Cause I just talked with him also."_

"But I was just…"

"_Apparently, he can converse with two different people at once."_

Dipper became nervous and asked, "What did he want? And why do you look guilty?"

* * *

><p>3 reluctantly explained that Bill was behind his nightmares for the past couple weeks and 3 kind of, sort of, made a deal with Cipher to get him to leave him alone. Dipper was livid.<p>

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS IN MY HEAD!?" He screamed as he paced in the gift shop.

"_I just got you calmed down enough to sleep. If you knew Bill was stalking you, you would go back to being an insomniac and be too afraid to sleep."_ 3 defended herself calmly. _"Besides, I was going to tell you; but you were too caught up with the laptop, then the puppet prep, and it never seemed like a good time."_

Dipper sighed and rubbed his temples. "What did the deal include?" He asked warily. "You give up your entries?"

"_No, but maybe later. He wanted information."_

"What sort of information?"

"_Just how you figured out I was alive and how I got a body." _3 said crossing her arms in deep thought. _"Though I have no idea why he wanted to know about that. What did he want from you?"_ She asked.

"That's the thing, he would give me the password but I have to give him something in exchange. But he didn't say what."

"_Be careful, demons are notorious tricksters and have a way with words. If it's too good to be true, than refuse."_

"I know, I know." Dipper groaned and they heard the coffee maker beep from the kitchen. "Stan must be up." He turned to 3 and said, "Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad that you didn't tell me but I can understand. Besides you and 2 are the only ones who always come through." Dipper yawns as they walked into to see Stan drinking his coffee and Mabel playing with puppet Stan at the kitchen table.

"Hey Mabel." They greeted as Dipper yawned

"Woah, bag check for Dipper's eyes. Ha ha! Nobody?" Stan joked when he caught sight of Dipper's face.

"Dipper, I told you to get some sleep last night! Here, wake up with some Mabel Juice. It has plastic dinosaurs in it!"

3 and Stan shivered_. "The last time I let you talk me into drinking that stuff; I had vivid hallucinations about a Taco, Yuno Gasai, and a legion of talking golf balls."_

"It's like if coffee and nightmares had a baby!" Stan agreed.

Dipper grabbed Mabel and he and 3 pushed her into the living room. "Mabel, last night I had a dream with Bill in it and 3 chatted with him while I was out cold."

"Wait, hold up, the triangle guy?" Mabel asked, holding her fingers around eye to make a copy of Bill.

"He said he'd give me the code to the laptop if I gave him something. Like I'd actually trust Bill, right?"

"What did he want from 3?"

"_I made a deal with him a week ago and all he wanted was information."_

"Yeah, but we can't figure out why he wanted to know about how 3 got a body." Dipper said to himself as he rubbed his chin.

Mabel just smiled and grabbed the both of them in a headlock and said, "Don't worry, 3, bro. Today's the day that the mystery twins and their partner are back in action. I'll help you two crack that code and figure out what that talking Dorito is after. I've just got to hand off my puppet stuff to my production crew."

"Production crew?" Dipper repeated as they followed Mabel out the door to find Candy and Grenda standing there smiling and covered in socks with Soos and Wendy strapping the backgrounds to the hood of the car.

"We read the script. Very emotional." Candy greeted Mabel when they were in hearing distance.

"I cried like eight times." Grenda agreed

"Hey ladies." A male voice spoke and they turned to see the pretty boy skate up to them, still with his puppets from last week.

"GABE!" Mabel greeted excitedly as Candy's jaw dropped and Grenda just ogled him. "I was just blading by. Helps me dry out my ponytail after a shower." He said nonchalantly as 3 rolled her eyes as Dipper glared when he took off his helmet and whipped his hair out.

"Hubbity-hubbuty." Grenda gasped as Candy muttered something in Korean with narrowed eyes.

"It's so great to see you! I was just working on the world's greatest puppet show. IT HAS PUPPETS!" Mabel told him as she ran up.

"Your passion is so refreshing, Mabel. Unlike the girl from last night's puppet show. Single-stich on one puppet, and CROSS-STICH on the other? I was like, 'Uh-uh!'" He said in disgust.

"Cross-huh?" Mabel asked nervously.

"Naturally I deleted her off my cell phone contacts list." He told her with a smile.

"NATURALLY! Hahahaha!" Mabel laughed, picking nervously at her collar.

"I know you won't let me down. Based on what you said the other day, you must be a puppet expert." Gabe assured her as she looked a little terrified.

"You know, Gabe, you look pretty sweaty. You should really take your shirt off. Right? Aren't we all thinking that?" Grenda cut in and was looking around for those who agreed with her.

"Later, ladies." Gabe skated off and Mabel looked like she was having a personal crisis.

"GWAAA! We gotta up our game, girls! Did you hear that thing he said about the stitches?!" Mabel cried to her friends.

"Don't worry, Mabel, your crew can handle it!" Grenda assured as she held up a puppet of herself, but then rips it. "Oops."

"How many eyes does a face have again?" Candy asked, holding up a puppet covered in googly eyes. In the background, Soos and Wendy are tying the stage set to the car roof then the rope snapped and caused a mini avalanche.

"AAA! Okay, I'm back on fabrication." She took a deep breath and grabbed the box from Grenda and ran back towards the Shack calling, "Get me my lint roller!"

Dipper and 3 each grabbed an arm as she was about to run past her, causing her to drop the box.

"Wo, wo! Hey, you just said you were going to help us!" Dipper cried as she kneeled down to gather her puppets.

"_You promised."_ 3 chimed in, narrowing her eyes at the elder twin.

"DIPPER! 3-Polaris! This sock crisis just bumped up to code argyle! The laptop can wait!"

"Mabel, do you seriously think that your random crush of the week is more important than uncovering the mysteries of this town? You're obsessed!" Dipper accused angrily and a little hurt. Mabel glared at her brother and pointed at him, "I'm obsessed? Look at you! You look like a vampire! And not the hot kind!"

Dipper wipes his eyes and pleaded, "But you said you were going to help me today!"

Mabel smiled and held up a puppet, "Oh, I can help you. With tickles!" She tickles him as Candy and Grenda laughed and 3 scowled at her.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" He glares and punches her arm. "Okay, fine! You know what? I'll do it on my own!" He growled and walked away in a huff. Mabel just shook her head and reached for a puppet but snatched her hand back when 3 stamped her foot on the puppet, narrowly missing her fingers.

"Polaris! What the Hey-Hey!?" Mabel cried as she looked up to glare at her, but flinched when she saw that 3's eyes were red and glowing.

"_You're not a very good sister."_ 3 said frostily.

"What!? I'm a great sister!" Mabel said defensively.

"_Oh, really? Well does: 'I'll help you two crack that code' or 'I'll be there with you, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH A PIG!' ring any bells?"_ 3 said in a false sweet voice.

Mabel glanced to the side guiltily but then gave 3 puppy eyes, "This is different, Polaris! This is love! Come on, you understand right?" She said hopefully but deflated as 3's eyes got even narrower.

"_Mabel, what I'm saying is that you can't keep promises well. You don't do as much as Dipper as he does for you. Shut up and listen." _She said as an affronted Mabel tried to interject._ "Dipper does so much for you. He saved you from gnomes, broke up with Gideon, cheered you up when Pacifica was ripping into you, and gave up his day with Wendy for your pig. Hell, he even took a stab wound from trying to save you from Gideon. And what have you done for him in return? Make promises you can't keep?"_

"B-but."

3 cut her off. _"All I'm saying is that you expect him to drop everything to help you, but when he needs you, you bail on him. _3 said as she turned around to follow Dipper and then turned a little to look into Mabel's hurt eyes, _"Being siblings is a two-way street; he'll help you if you need it but you need to know that you need to help him also."_

* * *

><p>She walked away and went up to the attic to find Dipper on the window seat still going at the laptop and grumbling to himself. "Passwords. Passwords. Mabel. Is. Useless. Oh, man..." He typed.<p>

"_I don't think that's the password."_ 3 said amused, walking over and shutting the laptop.

"HEY!"

"_Dipper, what is it do humans need?"_3 asked randomly as she tapped her foot.

"What-?"

"_What is it that humans need?"_ She said more forcefully.

"Well, water, food, clothing, shelter and…" Dipper began, confused.

"_And?"_

"Sleep." Dipper groaned.

"_And what are you not doing?"_

"Sleeping. But 3, Bill is watching!"

"_He's always watching."_ 3 shot back and took the laptop from him. _"He will watch regardless if you give up on sleep or not, wouldn't it be better if you were alert and at your best when you confront him next? You need to sleep, without it; you'll go into delirium and make mistakes like accepting an open ended deal from Cipher. Trust me, a good night's rest and you will have a better chance for success." _3 pointed out.

Dipper sighed and nodded. "You're right. I guess we just have to wait for Mabel to keep her promise. If she even remembers." He finished bitterly. 3 smiled sympathetically and rubbed his back.

"_I understand. She doesn't do nearly as much for you as you do for her."_ 3 said.

Dipper frowned and said, "Uh, it's because there hasn't been a lot of stuff that she needed to save me from. Besides, some of the things I needed to save her from is sort of my fault." He defended his twin.

"_True, but that doesn't mean you should continue letting her off the hook. She is a little spoiled by your generosity."_

"Shut up." Dipper said blushing, elbowing her playfully.

3 laughed and ruffed his hair. "_You're too compassionate for your own good."_ She frowned when she felt him shiver. _"What's wrong?"_

Dipper jumped and looked away, ashamed. "Sorry, it was the air conditioner." He lied; he couldn't bring himself to admit that the sentence had him remember the time they were in the Gideon-bot. He didn't want to tell her that he was terrified of her snapped form.

3 frown deepened and repeated. _"Air conditioner?" Last time I checked, there was no air conditioner in the attic. _Though she now noticed that she could see her breath.

"What the-?" They asked at the same time then noticed that the world was losing color then in a flash Bill Cipher appeared in the room, with the impression of that he was frowning.

"Well, well, well. Isn't this sweet?" He said sarcastically.

"_CIPHER!"_ 3 yelled, standing in front of Dipper.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone." Dipper yelled.

"Aw, you two are so mean. But, seriously, Hand you ruined all of my fun! And I had it all planned out too!" He pouted.

Dipper and 3 exchanged glances and Dipper cautiously asked, "W-What do you mean planned?"

"Glad you asked Pine Tree! You see, my plan to take over your body has been foiled by this meddling book."

"WHAT!?"

"Mmhm, the plan was that Pine Tree would be so sleep deprived and frustrated with trying to crack the code alone that he would ignore his common sense and agree to a deal where I gave him the password in exchange for a puppet."

"Wait puppet? You just said you were going to take my body!?" Dipper accused, pointing at boxes of sock puppets in the corner

"_No, you were going to be the puppet. That's why you were forcing Dipper to remember his nightmares; you wanted him nice and tired to be open to anything you suggested!"_ 3 said wide eyed.

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner, give the girl a prize. Here, have this ominous black mirror with skull designs." Bill snapped his fingers and said mirror replaced the laptop she was holding and the technology appeared in his little hands.

"Hey! Give that back!" Dipper yelled, reaching for it as Bill levitated it over his head.

"No can do Pine Tree. I came all this way to play and that just what I'll do, so I'll just play with you." He said in a sing-song voice as he vanished the laptop and floated in between them with his hands behind his head. "Since I'm in the mood, I'll teach you guys a little lessen."

"_What!?I will not let you lay a hand on us, Cipher!"_ 3 snarled, moving in front of Dipper

"Sheesh, take a chill pill Hand, not that kind of lesson."

"What kind of lesson?" Dipper asked suspiciously.

Bill just 'smiled,' "Now we're talking. Well here's the deal, I'll teach you a little something and I'll return the laptop, okay?"

They turned to each other and shrugged, where was the harm? But they remained their guard as Dipper motioned Bill to continue.

"Well what do you meat bags know about alternate universes?"

"Nothing-_not really_, what does that have to do with anything?" They talked over themselves.

"Well the universe is comprised of choices; if you do one thing then everything is affected."

"_Oh, yeah."_ 3 realized and turned to Dipper, _"Basically it's like how I explained how 1 works. 1 takes in all the variables and determines the possible outcome. But when a new variable enters the equation, his predictions then become worthless."_

"Glad to see you got it now I'll give you an example. Pine Tree here was arguing with Shooting Star in their room which caused Shooting Star to take Hand and switch bodies. But let's say Pine Tree entered the new room instead, they still argued but instead of Hand and Shooting Star Switching bodies, Shooting Star and _Pine Tree_ switch bodies."

"Wait, you were watching us then too!?" Dipper asked.

"Yep. What I'm trying to say that with every choice there is another you who made another choice. Pine Tree wasn't chosen to hang signs in the forest and never found Hand. Pine Tree doesn't volunteer at the party and ends up hanging out with Red, forgetting about the cloning machine and Red wouldn't have been as close to Broken Heart. You two never going after those agents and didn't figure out the black light trick until later. There are a multitude of choices anyone could've made, and they're all there in alternate universes!"

"_Why are you telling us this, Cipher?"_ 3 asked, narrowed eyed.

"Patience Hand, I'm getting to that. Now let's say Pine Tree never spilt that voice serum or better yet never got it. You never realized that Hand was alive and thus wasn't as close to her. Now what do you think would happen? Hand was already damaged from her Father sealing her away for so long in the dark, now without the ability to interact or get to know those around her, what will happen? The anger and resentment will boil and will evolve into black hatred and loathing towards Pine Tree's friends and family. Without Hand, Pine Tree won't have a close friend, that wasn't related to him, and would have broken down sooner, which would've fed her anger even further which caused her to permanently snap and destroy the entire West Coast from her rampage." He said happily while they exchanged wide eyed glances.

"Wow, we dodged a bullet there." Dipper murmured as 3 nodded in agreement.

"_But why tell us this?"_ 3 asked suspicious, _Bill does everything for a reason._

"Hmm, maybe I wanted to give you a little history lesson about that mirror." He said smugly, pointing at the mirror in 3's possession

"_This?"_ 3 asked, looking into the mirror and gasped in surprise and horror. Staring back at her was herself from the nightmare she had a week ago only she had two eyes instead of one **(A/N: see Interlude 4).** _"Wh-what is this!?" _She stammered.

"Well, whoever looks into this mirror is replaced by their alternate selves. As in the evil Hand!" Bill laughed as the dark 3 grabs her and dragged her into the mirror with Dipper looking on with horror. 3 struggled desperately to get free but was inevitably pulled in and everything went dark.

* * *

><p><strong>(Dipper's POV)<strong>

Dipper was rooted to the ground in horror as he watched 3 be pulled into the mirror by her evil self. He snapped out of it and whirled to confront a smirking Bill. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"Hmm, I just taught you guy's a lesson in alternate universes and Hand just happened to look into the mirror before I finished explaining its properties. Hand was just too impatient." Bill said in an unconcerned tone. The mirror rippled and a clawed, black hand emerged from its depths and tried to lift itself up from the mirror.

"I don't understand! Why are you doing this?!" Dipper asked the demon hysterically.

"Look kid, you've been getting way too close to figuring out some major answers. I've got big plans coming and I don't need you or your little book getting in my way. I was planning on destroy your journal and that laptop in your body but then I figured, what would be better than letting your own journal do the destroying for me?"

Dipper gasped as the figure finally crawled out of the mirror and stood there in the middle of the room breathing heavily. Dark 3 glared around the room and let out an ear shattering roar before smashing through the window and escaping. Bill smirked and said. "Well I would love to stay here and chat but I really must be-!" Bill was cut off when Dipper tackled him to the ground and straddled him to keep him pinned to the ground.

"Tell. Me. How. To. Cure. 3." Dipper growled as he glared at the triangle. Bill glared and shoved Dipper off him. "DO NOT TRIFLE WITH ME MEAT-BAG!" Bill roared, tripling in size to tower over the human.

"I don't care what you are! You could be a demon, a bunny rabbit, or a Dorito! You could eat my soul, rip out my teeth, or replace my eyes with baby heads I don't care; just tell me how to get 3 back!" Dipper screamed back. Bill paused then shank again. "Well, I could tell you for a trade."

"I'm not giving you my body!"

"Darn. Well then, you have to give something up then Pine Tree. What's it gonna be?" Bill asked crossing his arms. Dipper frantically looked around the room for something, anything that would please the demon. "Tick-Tock, kid." Bill taunted, his eye had changed into a clock. Dipper's eyes finally rested on the laptop.

"The laptop! I will give you the laptop in exchange for a way to change 3 back!" He bargained. Bill froze and stared at the meat bag in astonishment. "Are you sure kid? Do you really want to give up the way to solve all the mysteries of Gravity Fall's for one measly book?" He question, his body reflecting images to give quick tastes to show what Dipper would miss. He looked down in sorrow but strengthen his resolve. "Yes."

"Hmph, fine kid your loss. No skin of my nose, which doesn't exist." Bill grumbled and snapped his fingers, destroying the laptop beyond all fixing. "The mirror kid." He pointed at the mirror lying innocently in the center of the room. "Just force Hand to look into the mirror again and the parallel Hand will return to her universe. But beware; if she doesn't look into the mirror before midnight, then you're stuck with this version of Hand. FOREVER." He said in a deep voice and cloaked in blue flames. "Well, you're on your own kid. Bye." Bill then vanished and Dipper shakily turned the mirror over and covered it with an old pillow case and picked it up.

"Okay, I can do this. I just have to find 3 before midnight, fight her enough to get her to stay still long enough to force her to look into the mirror. Easy." He tried to assure himself and then freaked out. "Oh man, oh man, oh man! What do I do, what do I do, there's no way I could fight 3 when she's like this, she'll cut me in half before I could even touch her!? Besides how do I even find her!? I can't even talk to 2 because he needs her to speak anyway…Wait! That's it! I'll use 2 to track her down!"

Dipper ran toward his room and searched for 2 but couldn't find him. "What?" He started to look everywhere, under the beds, behind the giant pawn, on the ceiling supports, and even checked under the floorboards but couldn't find 2 or 1. "Where are they!?" He yelled, frustrated as he dug through the pile of sock puppets.

He ran downstairs and checked the kitchen, "Did Mabel hide them!?" He rifled through the silverware drawer and pulled out a six fingered glove and tossed it over his shoulder in annoyance. He slammed the drawer closed and winced when he smashed it on his forearm. "OW!" _Did Stan figure out the fake journals were fakes and stole them back?_

He was so deep in thought about how he would break into the hidden passage, steal the books back, and make sure Stan doesn't figure out the switch, and find 3 all before midnight, he didn't notice Mabel standing in the doorway.

"Hey Dipper! I borrowed the Journals to use as props in the show, I hope you don't mind. I'm gonna go before you process this sentence okay BYEE!" She ran off and Dipper absently waved back at her then her words caught up with him.

"What!? Wait! No, Mabel, don't go! I need one of them really badly now! You've gotta stop!" He runs outside just as Stan's car drove off to the theater packed with props. "No, no! Wait! Stop!" He yelled then placed his hands on his knees. "Oh, no…how do I catch up with them now?" He looked around and saw Mabel's bike leaning on the side of the Shack. He ran back upstairs and carefully stuffed the mirror into his backpack with some blankets to cushion it and biked into town.

* * *

><p>He biked without stopping for an hour when he finally entered the town; he had to swerve dangerously to dodge a large shadow that leaped out of nowhere. "Ah!" He yelped in surprise as he skidded to a halt and stared, Dark 3 was standing in the small crater next to where he was before and was glaring at him with glowing red eyes. Dipper tried to pull out the mirror but had to leap out of the way of her claws. He peddled away, swerving at times to dodge her when she lunged for him. <em>Why is she attacking me?!<em> He screamed in his head when suddenly Dark 3 slashed the back tires and sent him flying. He felt the mirror and was relieved that it didn't crack.

Dipper looked around and saw the lights from Theatre Time Theater which was were Mabel was hosting her puppet show. He sighed in relief which turned into a yelp when Dark 3 tried to grab the mirror from his hands. _The mirror! She's after the mirror!_ He ran down the street with Dark 3 at his heels, Dipper would occasionally pick up random weapons lying in the street and threw them at her to slow her down. He screamed in surprise when Dark 3 grabbed his leg and he fell flat on his face and she started to drag him away.

He struggled angrily but it was useless as Dark 3 grinned maliciously and reached for his bag. He noticed a stray bazooka near his head and grabbed it. "Hey, Claw Head!" He shouted.

Dark 3 growled, _**"What?"**_

"Have some of this!" He pulled the trigger and sent Dark 3 flying into a building and she slumped over groaning, she stumbled to her feet and hissed as she escaped before Dipper could grab the mirror. Dipper ran into the theater, cutting through the angry patrons and ducking into the theater to just in time to see Mabel's show starting.

"The show is about to begin! Please turn off your cell phones. Unless you're texting me, cuties!" Grenda announced from the stage. The house lights dim and the curtain opens as the audience applauds. The set is a glittery and colorful Mystery Shack a spotlight illuminates Candy, standing at a keyboard, dressed as David Bowie.

"Gather round, and let us sing, about a girl who had almost everything."

She is rolled off the stage and a puppet of Dipper pops out of a window and sings.

'Look, it's Mabel!' Puppet Mabel pops up.

'Hi there!'

'Did you say stable?' Puppet Soos asked a Puppet of Polaris, who shrugged.

'No, he said Mabel!' Stan broke in.

Puppet Mabel looks at the gathered puppets and said, 'Okay, hit it, boys and girls!' The puppets formed a line and started to sing.

'Who's that girl with the pig and the braces? She puts smiles on everyone's faces! When she's around, you're never bored!'

A Puppet dressed as a mayor pops up with a trophy. 'I am a mayor, and here's an award!' Despite what just happened, Dipper couldn't help but smile at his sisters enthusiasm and could just imagine 3 saying something snarky. He then frowned and ducked behind stage.

'Thank you, mayor!' Puppet Mabel said, 'It's true I'm great. But the perfect girl needs the perfect maaaate!'

'Hey, what's up, I'm Gabe.'

He found Grenda backstage and ran over to her and asked breathlessly, "Ah, um, hey, Grenda! Do you know where my books are? Mabel took them without permission and I really, really need one of them back. Can I please get them?"

"Sorry Dipper but we also need them too. They're needed for the wedding scene. They're up there in the wedding cake." Grenda told him unconcerned as she pointed at the wooden cake panel over the stage.

"Well, when is the wedding scene?"

"Act 3."

"I mean hours!"

She checked her watch and said, "In about 4 hours."

"What!?" He whispered-shouted, mindful of the play. "You don't understand, I need at least one of them! Polaris is in trouble and I need one!"

"Polaris could wait! Just wait for act 3 and you can have both of them. So hold your horses!" She told him off and turned away.

He grabbed her shoulder and roughly turned her back around and glared at the girl, "Look, my best friend could be injured or DYING right now, I just need one of the damn books to save her, tell me where Mabel is going to be after this scene!"

"Fine, fine, sheesh. She'll be in the dressing room, no need to be so pushy."

* * *

><p>Mabel was finishing up her last scene of Act 2 when Grenda called for intermission. Dipper was pacing in the dressing room when Mabel entered the room and walked right pass him towards the water fountain.<p>

"Whew, okay, you can do this, Mabel. Only 36 more musical numbers." She said to herself as she drank from the water fountain. Dipper frowned and walked up behind her, "Mabel! We need to talk!"

Mabel jumped and did a spit take. "Dipper! You made it!" Mabel said happily then frowned looking around. "Where's 3? Is she being a grumpy-grump?"

"That's the thing Mabel! Bill visited us again and tricked 3 into looking onto a mirror that turned her evil, now I have get either 1 or 2 to find and save her! You need to help me!" Dipper told her quickly, placing his hands on her shoulders.

I don't know Dipper; my cue's coming up any minute." She told him, pointing backwards towards the stage.

"But Mabel, 3 could be like this for-" He is cut off by a knock on the door and Gabe enters with flowers and brushes past him.

"Hey, Mabel, do you have a moment?" He asked her.

"GABE!" Mabel cried happily and shoved Dipper away as she approached her crush.

"Ow! Mabel!" Dipper groaned.

The couple ignored him and Gabe said, "Mabel, it's clear to me now that you really love puppets. I mean, you went whole hog. And if you stick the ending, well, maybe later you could join me for biscotti?" He asked with a charming smile.

"You drive a biscotti?" Mabel asked excitedly as the lights flick on and off.

"I'll be waiting." He left as Mabel turned to her brother and gushed, "Did you hear that? He loves it! This play has to be flawless. Can't we wait until after the show?"

"Fine I'll do it myself." He said bitterly, folding his arms. "Just lend me 1 or 2 and I'll get out of your hair."

"Esh. Sorry Dipper, I kind of need both of them for my play." Mabel told him, rubbing the back of her head.

"What!? Why would you need two books!? A regular wedding only needs one!" Dipper asked, mystified.

"Well in the wedding scene where me and Gabe are about to be married, his evil ex-girlfriend Stichina from the cross dimension kidnaps Gabe and we hold onto each other by one of the Journal's, when Gabe declares he'll go with her in exchange for my safety the books split apart so we could find each other again." Mabel said in a 'duh' tone.

Dipper rubbed his temples and said, "I don't think they agreed to that, Mabel."

"I asked them and I didn't hear a 'no.'

"That's why I need one of them! They can only talk when they're near 3. Mabel, the only way I can find 3 in time before midnight is to use either 1 or 2 to use as a 3 radar and save 3. Please Mabel."

"Can't it wait till after the play?" Mabel asked again as Grenda entered the room. "Mabel, you're up."

"Okay-Dokey!" Mabel was about to leave the room when he grabbed her sleeve with the bill of his hat covering his eyes.

"Mabel…please…please. I really need your help this time. I could lose my best friend if you don't do this one thing for me. Please, I'll make it up to you, I could be your slave for a month, and you don't have to help me with my mystery hunts or cyphers. I won't ever ask you for anything ever again; just please, let me save 3." Dipper begged his sister as he angrily brushed his tears away.

Mabel looked away and remembered what 3 told her earlier this morning. _'Being siblings is a two-way street; he'll help you if you need it but you need to know that you need to help him also.'_ And she sighed. "Okay, just grab one of the Journal's while I'm doing my show."

Dipper grinned and grabbed his sister in a bear hug. "Thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered in her ear. "I promise I'll make this up to you." He ran off and found his way to the catwalk and entered it as Mabel continued her play below him.

* * *

><p>'Gabe! You're back from the war!' Puppet Mabel cried.<p>

'Yes I am! Wanna kiss and sing at the same time? '

'Okay!'

"Seriously?" Dipper asked bewildered as the audience applauded from below. "That is…never mind." He put the puppet show out of his mind and went into the giant cake with 1 and 2 sitting inside. He grabbed 2 and whispered, "Pts, 2. Riddle mode."

2's pages rippled and his entries scrambled together and reformed into different sentences. _Dipper?_ It read. _What's wrong? And where's 3?_

"We have a major problem. Bill tricked her into looking into a cursed mirror and now we're stuck with an evil version of her from an alternate universe. If she doesn't look into the same mirror by midnight then she'll be stuck like this forever." He informed him as he held up the backpack that had the mirror.

_WHAT!? WELL WHY ARE YOU HERE AND NOT OUT LOOKING FOR HER!?_

"I need either you or 1 to find her. You know the piracy trilepathy."

_Do you even know 'trilepathy' will even work with this version of 3?_

Dipper paused and remembered Bill's story about how she didn't get the serum and it's possible the telephone like connection won't work. "That's…that's a good point. But we have to take that chance. It's still better than nothing."

_Agreed. What now?_

"Well, I was going to use you as sort of a metal detector. The easier and clearer you could be heard, the more likely 3 was there.

_Then what are we waiting fo-"r…"_

They froze in shock when they heard 2 speak. "2?"

"_C…n…hea…m…?"_

"Speak up." Dipper said, pressing his ear against the hand. "I can't make out your words."

"_If yo…hear…the…3…near…"_

Dipper froze and realized if he could hear 2 then that means that 3 is nearby and is getting closer when they heard 1 shout, _"Look out!"_

Dipper whirled around just as a shadow lunged at him from the rafters. "Wha!" He stumbled backwards and into the cake, sending it lurching dangerously from side to side. Dipper glanced up to see a pissed of Dark 3 glaring down at him from the catwalk. _"What happened to her?"_ 2 whispered in shock.

"Bill happened."

Dark 3 fixed 2 with a hateful glare and reached for rope that controlled the platform when Dipper started to swing the cake erratically, causing the rope to escape her reach. This game continued for a couple of minutes. Whenever the rope was within her reach, Dipper would swing the cake escaping her but further wearing out the rope that was keeping them aloft over where his sister was preforming. He just counted his blessings that she didn't seem to want to jump into the contraption just yet.

'I hope this kiss never ends!' Mabel's voice drifted from below them.

"Come on, come on now, there must be a way for me to pull the mirror out without her trying to break it." He muttered to himself. "I can't keep this cat and mouse game up for much longer. Anymore and the rope with break. Damned if I do, damned if I don't."

Unfortunately the choice was ripped away from his hands when Dark 3's patience finally snapped and she jumped from the catwalk and collided with the cake sending them crashing to the play where the wedding scene was finally playing out.

Puppet Stan looked over to Puppet Mabel and said, 'I'm giving you away. You are a woman now. Waddles, the rings!' Waddles squealed in shock and Mabel glanced up to see what spooked him. "Wait, what?" Mabel looks up in time to see the falling cake over her and gasped. "Oh no." The cakes crashes to the floor on top of the fog machine and laser and an injured Dipper came tumbling out onto the stage.

Mabel stood up from behind the set and ran towards her brother's side. "Dipper! Dipper, are you okay!?" She shouted as the audience gasped in shock as she held up her brother.

"Mabel, run! She's right here!" He warned his sister as Dark 3 rose from the heap of wood that was once a cake. The audience sat transfixed in fear as 3 glared and let out an ear rending roar that made some lose some hearing before they ran for the exits screaming. Dark 3 let out a guttural growl and started to walk towards Dipper, her eyes fixed on 2 clutched in his arms.

Mabel backed up in fear and she heard Stan yelling from the crowd as Dark 3 lumbered towards them, her leg had a large gash and was bleeding which slowed her down but it didn't do anything to improve her mood. Dipper got up painfully and checked the mirror and froze when he felt a hair line fracture on the glass that was slowly growing larger.

He turned to his sister and said, "We don't have much time. The mirror is breaking and midnight is drawing nearer, we have to do something!"

"But what!? What can we do vs a snapped 3!?" Mabel cried as they backed away.

"_To my knowledge you yourself have provoked her into snapping once Mabel."_ 2 pointed out. _"What did you last time to escape 3?"_

"Dipper distracted her so I can hide and calmed her down."

2 went silent and asked Dipper. _"You mentioned an alternate universe, what happened that made 3 turn into, __this__?"_

Dipper thought back and said, "Loneliness. I never found out that you guys were alive and she snapped permanently." He took a steadying breath and said, "I'll distract her while Mabel positions the mirror in a way that will cause her to look into it."

"No!"

"No way, it's too dangerous Dipper! There has to be another way, besides you're still injured from the fall."

Dipper rubbed his arm and said, "It's just a scratch. Besides, she hasn't been trying to hurt me; she was trying to get the mirror and her brothers. I'll be fine." He assured her as he gave her the mirror, but not the bag and threw a wooden plank at her feet to gain Dark 3's attention.

"Hey, look what I got! Come and get it!" He taunted, waving the bag at her. She growled and charged her eyes trained on the bag but not at him personally. He jerked the bag out of the way, causing her to crash into the scenery and get up madder than ever.

"Dipper! Lead her toward stage left!" Mabel called to her brother who nodded and tried to control his fear of 3's snapped form. He waved the bag again and called, "Libra, Libra." Waving it like a red flag to a bull. She charged again and shouted, "Olé"

Slowly but surely, he led a seething 3 towards the pyrotechnics and taunted her again, but this time 3 didn't attack the bag. No this time she leaped at Dipper and took him down painfully to the hardwood floor and he grunted in pain when 3's weight pressed into his chest and injuries.

He looked into Dark 3's eyes and flinched, they looked like black holes filled with nothing but hate and pain. He noticed something in the corner of his eye and saw Mabel making frantic motions and holding the mirror and a button. He nodded and flung the torn bag onto the pyrotechnics with 3 heading after it and froze when she noticed the fireworks.

"Sorry about this 3." Mabel called as she pressed the Big Finish button and the stage exploded with 3 crashing to the floor stunned and the puppets stored nearby lite up in flames. Before Dark 3 could get up Mabel jumped on top of her and said, "I hope this works." She then shoved the cracking mirror bare centimeters from her face and waited for something to happen.

Nothing happened.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. 3 isn't turning back." Mabel sobbed as tears started to well up. "This is my fault, if I hadn't been so stubborn this wouldn't have happened." The Dark 3 started to scream and shoved Mabel off and tried to run but it looked like she ran into an invisible wall that she was trying frantically to scramble over as she was pushed back towards the mirror and she was sucked into the mirror with her using her claws to anchor herself to the ground but was sucked in once and for all.

The mirror went still before it rippled and normal 3's head poked out and slowly fell to this world in an unconscious heap as the mirror shattered to a million of pieces.

* * *

><p><strong>(3's POV)<strong>

3 slowly opened her eye to be met with the twins staring down at her with concern. She blinked and groaned in pain as she heavily sat up_. "Uhh, what happened? Did anyone get that tank's number?"_

She was suddenly enveloped in between the twins in a bear hug. _"Huh!? Wh-What's wrong? What happened?" _She asked them in confusion and grew even more worried when she noticed that they were both holding back tears.

"3…I'm so glad you're back!" Dipper whispered in her ear as Mabel nodded against her neck, 3 also felt her brother's relief and easing fear.

"Once again what…" Suddenly everything came rushing back to her and stood up only to fall back down. _"Bill! My dark half! They're-"_

"We know we defeated your Dark half just a few minutes again." Dipper assured her.

"R-really?" 3 stammered and looked around in shock taking in the destruction and the fire that was burning in the corner and the twin's injuries. "O-oh no, you two are hurt, did I…" She began guiltily

"Aw don't sweat it. They're just scratches and bruises. Nothing permanent." Dipper said soothingly.

"B-but I hurt you and Mabel, oh Mable your play…I-I'm so sorry, Mabel. You worked so hard on it." She hung her head in shame for what her evil half has done.

Mabel smiled and rubbed her back, "Don't worry about it. This was my fault also, if I had just kept my promise in the first place, you two wouldn't have been tricked by the evil Dorito."

"Still, you're crush…" 3 persisted, not believing Mabel wasn't mad at her for something.

The elder twin laughed and said, "I've seen enough movies to know this is the part where the love interest comes up and thinks it was all part of the show and loves it. Cue raving review!" She said as Gabe stalked up to the tiny group.

"Don't speak to me, Mabel." He growled at her. "You are not what I thought you were. You broke so many monumental rules I don't know where to start! You broke character, destroyed your back drop, burned down your hosting theatre and most importantly of all." He held up the burnt puppets. "You destroyed your puppets; you've tarnished the very art you tried to imitate! You've made a mockery of my art form. Let's go, my loves. He turns and walks away, kissing the puppets.

"Did he just make out with his puppets?" Dipper asked in disgust as he watched him walk away.

"I might've dodged a bullet there." Mabel commented as Candy ran after him, yelling in Korean.

3 looked away not bearing the thought that she crushed Mabel's dreams. _"I'm-"_

"Don't worry 3." Mabel assured her. "I should be thanking you. I wouldn't want a guy who made out with his own hands.

"Mabel, I'm also sorry about all this. It's my fault your puppets got ruined." Dipper apologized to his sister since he was the one to lead Dark 3 to the fireworks.

"He I told you to lead her to the fireworks and I pressed the button. Besides one of them did survive." She held up a puppet of herself. "And she has something to say to you. 'I'm sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you! And 3, I'm sorry for putting off helping you. Bap! Bap!'" She nudges it Dipper's and 3's face as they laughed. "Mystery twins?" She asked her brother holding up a fist.

"Mystery twins." They fist bump as Gabe stalked back into the theatre and held his hand out to Mabel. "You don't deserve that puppet, no named girl who is dead to me. Give it here." He demanded.

"How did you hear us from outside?" Dipper asked, puzzled as 3 glared at the pretty boy.

"Shut up you nonpuppet. Give me that sock puppet!" He yelled.

3 smirked sadistically and took Puppet Mabel and put her on. _"Oh I'll give it to you, Benson."_ She stood up and straight armed punched him out.

"Wow!" The twins cried in amazement at they looked at the passed out blonde.

"Let's go home."

* * *

><p>They walked out of the theatre, making sure they stepped on Gabe on the way out until they were ambushed by a worried Soos and Wendy and a solemn Stan. After assuring them that they were okay they drove back to the Shack where Mabel immediately went to bed and 3 found the destroyed laptop.<p>

"_Oh no, the laptop. Don't tell me I broke it."_ 3 gasped when she saw the condition it was in.

"No, I told Bill that he could have it in exchange for the way to turn you back." Dipper told her as he dumped it in a crate.

"_Then it's still my fault!"_

Dipper grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her. "No it was Bill's; he tricked you into looking in the mirror and mine because I let it be destroyed."

"_Still, this was our best shot to find out who and where my father is."_

_Don't worry there will always be more clues._ 2 assured her.

"Ah, there is always next time." Dipper unknowingly repeated 2. "I'm just glad you're alright and that's what important." He climbed into bed as 3 returned to book form and he laid her on the nightstand. "Good night, 3." He bid as he slowly went off to sleep as 3 reflected silently to herself_. Even though they're not saying it, it's my fault all of this happened because I looked into that stupid mirror. Even if it kills me, I will make this up to them. _


	26. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own

Talk-normal

_Talk_- thinking

"_Talk"-_ 3 talking.

**A/N: It's come to my attention that this story has over 100 reviews *FANFARE.* So next chapter will be a little treat for those who stuck by and I should have it posted soon, if I'm not infected with lazyitias. Also another thing, I'm a little stuck on what I should do for The Deep End. I have, off the top of my head, that a.) Dipper tries to teach 3 how to swim. b.) 3 hangs out with Mabel and Mermando. c.) Dipper and 3 ignores the pool and go on an adventure were they eventually cross paths with Mabel. So I'll have a poll up on my profile and you guys vote.**

* * *

><p>Golf War<p>

It's been three days since the disastrous play involving 3's dark version and things are still far from being normal or as normal as it'll ever be in Gravity Fall's. Though the twins continuously assured her it wasn't her fault, 3 still felt guilty for what her alternate self did and was handling the twins like they were porcelain dynamite. No matter what they said, the twins couldn't ease 3's fears.

Mabel was scared 3 will cut herself away from them in a misguided attempt to protect them and she was going all out to make 3 comfortable to be around them again with sweaters, Smile Dip, and even inviting her to her sleepovers. Dipper was just relieved that 3 was alright but was concerned that she could be suffering from side effects from the mirror and had taken to following her and trying to reassure her that she wasn't a danger to them.

Even the rest of the Shack Crew seem to pick up the tension between them. Soos was inviting her over to his grandma's for dinner whenever possible. Wendy, who was informed by the twins about what transpired, offered to let 3 sleepover with her and give out any advice she could. Even Stan picked up that something was amiss and offered to let the kids have a day off to sort out their growing up issues nowhere near him.

Slowly, 3 was getting less and less uptight around them to hang out again, but there were still walls between them. Right now Dipper and 3 is sitting on the couch watching television while they and Waddles are eating a bowl of cereal when Stan walks over with a pan in his hand.

"Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in them." He asked them.

"_Um, no."_

"Pass."

Mabel then bursts through the door giddily and pushed past Stan, causing the Stan-cake to fall on him, with a newspaper crushed in her hand.

"It's here! Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here!" She screamed giddily as she jumped in between 3 and Dipper on the couch.

"_What's here?"_ 3 asked looking at Mabel in confusion.

"The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" She proudly shows everyone a view of the newspaper in her hand.

Stan leaned down and read, "'Pacifica Northwest declares V-neck the look of the season!' What am I looking at here?" He asked, looking at his shocked niece.

"Woah, woah, what?!" She looked down with Dipper and 3 reading over her shoulder.

'GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!' the headline blared and showed a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST".

"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page." Dipper said in sympathy.

"Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?" Stan asked in disgust.

"_I think what she's wearing is just barely skimming the limit. Barely." _

Mabel groaned and covered her face with the paper, "Ugh, Pacifica! She always ruins everything!"

Dipper looked at his sister and tried to assure her, "Aw, cheer up Mabel! I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore." He said as Soos ran in with his own newspaper.

"Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." He holds up a pair of scissors and a marker he pulled out of nowhere. "With a w-neck." He draws a construction line for a w, and tries to cut along the lines. "Must…follow…newspaper."

3 sighed and said, _"Thank you Soos."_

"No problem bro."

Mabel glumly walks over to the nearby table and furiously pours herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."

'Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?' The television asked.

"Why yes!" The crew turned to the TV that was playing the commercial, 'Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! *No mutton available at the snack shop*'

Dipper grinned and looked at his sister and said, "Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" He pulls out a scrapbook with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor-league gold competition with the caption 'AGE 9.' "She's been amazing at it since we were kids! What do you say, Mabel? We've all had a stressful couple of days. How about we take a break, huh?"

3 flinched slightly and looked away guiltily. The twins noticed and scooted closer to her silently.

"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked encouragingly.

Mabel smiled and said, "Maybe a little."

"Come on, Mabel! Victory!" Dipper stood up on the couch and elbowed 3 and nodded. 3 stood up also said, _"Honor!"_

"Destiny!" Stan cheered.

"Mutton!" Soos called as his w-neck flaps down. Mabel grins and follows Dipper, 3, Stan, and Soos out the front door as they were cheering, "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! Victory, honor, destiny, mutton!"

Soos then said, "And the pig can look after the house!"

"_Don't burn down the Shack!"_ 3 called over to Waddles she closed the door.

* * *

><p>They drove to the Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt in golfing wear and walked through the entrance as Soos cheered. They walked around to see a few people walking around the course and Mabel let out a happy sigh, "Ahh, mini-golf! The sport of mini champions!"<p>

"_I thought it was for the retired or those who have nothing better to do."_

Dipper smiled and patted her shoulder, "That's golf. This is mini-golf: where the grass is fake, but the fun is real! There's something here for everyone!"

They began playing with Stan managing to just skim the hole and Soos' ball was hit to the next hole and everything was normal until 3 went up to putt. Dipper glanced at her strangely and said, "Umm, Polaris, you're holding the club the wrong way." She was holding the club by the driver and was trying to hit the ball with the handle. She looked at him wide-eyed and asked in surprise, _"Really!?"_

"Yeah, you use the bigger part to hit the ball." Dipper informed her, surpassing a chuckle at her expense. 3 flipped the club over and swung the club with all her strength, she hit the ball but she also let go of the club, sending it flying. Everyone paused to looked at the flying club were it beaned Robbie in the head as he was running from the King of Mini-golf's golf cart.

"OW!" The teen yelped as he fell to the ground and the King of Mini-golf narrowly running him over.

"Ha-ha! None can escape from the King of Mini-golf!"

Dipper grinned and held up the score card, "I say that counts as a hole in one." Mabel grinned and slapped a sticker on 3's forehead that had a cartoon possum on it saying, 'Awesome Possum!'

Dipper shook his head and went up to putt next. "Focus! Focus! And, eh..." he groaned as he misses the golf ball with his club and it rolled into the nearby pond instead.

"Don't worry bro! You're still," She slaps a dinosaur sticker on his cheek. "Ext-roar-dinary!"

Dipper sighed and said, "I'll take what I can get." He walks over to 3 as Mabel took his place.

"Do the hip wiggle, and eh!" she hits a golf ball with her club and sent it ping ponging across the course were it bounced off Old Man McGucket's nose and scores a hole in one. The old man woke up with a snort and looked around, "Wha? How'd I get here?"

"Yes!" Mabel cheered as they looked at her in surprise.

"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Stan said in surprise. Dipper smirked up to his Grunkle and told them, "Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Though out the outing, Mabel continues scoring holes and soon a crowd gathers around the group eager to watch her break her personal high score. Soon they were at the 18th whole were everyone watched from the sidelines breathlessly.

"Guys, this is amazing! If Mabel gets a hole in one here, she'll beat her all-time high score!" Dipper cheered as they stood away from his sister to give her room. Mabel glared at the ball and smacked it, causing everyone to watch as it went through the course she nearly scores a hole, but it misses and rolls into a puddle.

"Aw, nuts!" She growled, throwing the club to the ground as Dipper frowned and the crowd dispersed. "Aw, man! Well that didn't work. Oh yes, she's all done playing."

Stan placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "Ah, don't worry about it kid! The thing's random!"

"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how mini-golf works is our world's greatest mystery." Soos agreed.

"_You can't win all the time."_ 3 comforted.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else I know in Gravity..." Stan trailed off when another ball scored a hit from the same course Mabel lost.

"Woah!" They gasped and they turned to see Pacifica and her parents smiling snobbishly in front of them.

Pacifica smirked and said, "Oh, would you look at that? I didn't know it was hobo's golf free day!"

Mabel gritted her teeth and 3 snarked, _"Of course you should know that, why else would you be here."_

"Ooooooh." The crowd said in awe as Pacifica growled and glared at 3. "And just who are you?"

"_Polaris Dirgel, the girl who just owned you."_ 3 said smugly as the twins high fived her. Pacifica snarled then calmed down, reapplying her smug expression as she walked over to the Pines.

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family! Fat, old, lame, tomboy, and braces!" Pointing at Soos, Stan, Dipper, 3, and Mabel respectively.

Stan growled, "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"

"_When you were born it wasn't." _

Dipper placed a hand on the girls to restrain them and said, "I got this! Hey, Pacifica! How's that whole 'your family's a fraud' thing working out for you?"

Pacifica smirked and said, "Great, actually! That's the thing about money! It makes problems go away!"

"_But they're still there and waiting to bite you in the ass when you least expect it." _3 said in a sugary tone.

"Yeah! And it can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!" Mabel said superiorly.

Pacifica laughed as she snapped her fingers, "Sergei!" A tall, stern man with an impressive mustache walked forward and Pacifica continued, "This is Sergei, my trainer!"

"The sportylmpics had mini-golf once. I took gold!" He pulled down his collar to reveal a gold medal on his chest.

"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals! Hmph..." she walks pass them and she strikes a golf ball with her club, which scores a bonus hole and causes an explosion. Mabel looks at Pacifica in shock, which gives Sergei her gloves imperiously and turned towards them.

"Enjoy second place. Give her a hand, folks!"

Mabel glared and said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I want a rematch, you walking-one-dimensional-bleach-blonde-valley-girl-stereotype!" She shouted as the crowd gasped in horror and the rich girl slammed her compact closed and whirled to face her rival.

"Like, let's do this!" The sky clouds over with thunder booming as they walk to stand face to face until honking caused them to look over at the King of Mini-golf.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk, honk!" He collides with lamp post several times, then backs up and turns. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-golf has spoken!" He reverses golf cart into post and tips over, "Ahh! The king is down!"

Pacifica glared at Mabel and loomed over her menacingly, "This isn't over. I still haven't forgotten that coordination comment. You, Me, Midnight. We'll see whose best!"

Mabel looked confused by the coordination part but narrowed her eyes back, "I'll be here!" Lightning flashes over them ominously and rain starts, the Northwest's whip out their umbrellas and walk away with Sergei running after them.

Mabel continues to glare as some soaked hair gets into her mouth. "I'll be here! Puh! Puh! Hair in my mouth. Puh!"

* * *

><p>The crew went back into town to wait out the storm and stopped at the Hermanos Brothers Diner were Dipper fed Mabel nachos and 3 held up a soda for her to drink while she was moping at the table.<p>

"Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list." She sighed.

"Aw, don't give up, Mabel." Soos told her.

"_You will prove her wrong tonight."_ 3 said as she rubbed Mabel's back.

Dipper nodded and said, "Yeah! If you beat her at this, she can never rag on you again. Imagine it!" Mabel's eyes unfocused for a bit as 3 groaned. _"Not again."_

"Ssh!"

Mabel then grinned with eyes sparkling and stood up on the table, "You're right, guys. I just need to practice a little more before midnight."

Grunkle Stan frowned and said, "Go to the golf course after dark, you say? I don't know, we'd have to break in and- Just kidding let's break in!" He finished excitedly and they piled back into the car, taking some tacos with them for secret surprise snacks.

The Stanley Mobile breaks through the toll. Grunkle Stan pulls nails out of the fence as Soos stood watch then removed the panel for the kids to squeeze through. Mabel hands him her sticker book as she, 3, and Dipper go through.

"Oh, and hey, Mabel?" Stan stopped her and he stuck a 'U DA BEST' sticker on Mabel's sweater. "Knock her dead, kid."

Mabel gives a thumbs-up and goes inside. Mabel was practicing at the windmill hole with 3 and Dipper standing on the other side of the structure. She hits a golf ball, it goes into the window, and comes to rest beside dozens of others, not in the hole.

"Darn! Poop, heck darn!" She shouted in frustration Dipper groaned in sympathy, "Ugh, I don't get it! What is wrong with this hole?" He then froze and placed his ear against the windmill and backed away with wide eyes. "Did you hear that?"

"_What?"_

"What? What is it?" Mabel asked as she walked over to them, Dipper turned to them and whispered to them, "Grab your clubs." The twins raise their clubs and 3 grabbed her taser as they advanced towards the windmill. They nod, and Dipper pulls away the back panel then looked down in surprise.

Little golf people were merrily moving golf balls along their Dutch-themed landscape when they notice the twins and 3 and they started to scream in terror.

"AAAHHH!"

"AAAHHH!" The kids shrieked in shock, scaring the little people even more.

"AAAHHH!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" The twins raise their clubs and they golf ball people started to scream even louder. They shared a look and lower their clubs as the spokesman-ball tried to calm down.

"We good? We good?" He asked the kids who nodded mechanically. "All right then! Hi, hello. I'm Franz, and welcome to our home!"

"What is this?" Dipper whispered as 3 shook. _"Must. Resist. Reenacting. The. Fall."_ 3 said clutching her taser as Dipper looked at her strangely.

"Yeah! Are you guys, tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?"

Franz laughed merrily and continued, "Neither. We're Lilliputtians! Lilli- Lilliput... the name makes more sense written down than spoken. And we control the balls! Behold!" Franz turned around as the side of the windmill opens, revealing a complex conveyer system, with Lilliputtians turning cranks, pulling levers, and pushing turnstiles. A golf ball rolls out of the windmill into the hole.

"_You do this ALL the time?" _3 asked wide eyed.

"That's incredible!" Mabel said in amazement.

"And so needlessly complicated!"

"Aw shucks. It's only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?" Franz asked as the Lilliputtians gather and prepare to sing.

"Eh, we're good." Dipper interrupted, the Lilliputtians groaned in disappointment and disperse.

Franz looked back up to the kids and asked, "So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?"

"We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica." Mabel told them.

"_Speaking of which we should go back to practicing." _3 began until they heard the Lilliputtians mutter to each other angrily.

"Oh, we know all about rivals." Franz said darkly.

"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" Another voice yelled from behind. The kids turned to see the Pirate ship light up and Lilliputtians dressed as Pirates appeared. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controlling' the balls! We are the ball masters, says I! Argh!" The captain yelled as another in a French accent called from the Eiffel Tower course.

"Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates! Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"

"Stay your comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" A Lilliputtian knight called from a castle. "None control the balls better than the knights of-Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?" He asked no one as he looked at the graffiti on the course castle.

"We'll settle which hole is best! Attack!" Franz yelled as he led his people armed with pencils.

"Ooh, I'm shivering' in me timbers! Get them!" The Pirates swing off of the ship and run towards the others brandishing their own pencils.

"Long live the mighty king!"

The Lilliputtians collide and start fighting in front of the kids in a mini war as they fought to the death.

"These guys are a riot!" Dipper laughed as they watched as one of the Lilliputtian's got eaten by a duck.

"_I know this is a horrible war, but it reminds me of a pack of puppies wrestling." _3 cooed.

"Guys, guys, calm down!" Mabel told them chuckling as the duck flies by with the screaming Lilliputtian in its mouth. "Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!"

A bruised and battered Franz sighed and looked up at them, "Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so. Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best, with...maybe... an award, or, like a trophy, I dunno."

One of the French Lilliputtian looks up and pointed at Mabel and cried, "But Franz, look!" He points to Mabel's sticker on her sweater.

"The sticker. The sticker could decide!"

"It does say 'Ze best' on it!"

The Lead Knight Lilliputtian bowed before Mabel and declared, "Decide for us, hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give a sticker to, and end our war!" He finished as the others cheered.

"Uh, I don't know guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud." Mabel began before Dipper and 3 pulled her aside.

"Pst! Mabel! This is perfect! These guys control the course! Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win!" Dipper whispered to his sister.

"I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like...cheating?"

"_It's not cheating; it's like…being prepared. Like insurance, this way SHE won't be able to cheat." _3 assured her.

"Besides, Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life."

"Hmm...I guess you're right. Alright let's do this!" Mabel cheered, her competitive side rearing its head. Dipper and 3 nodded to each other and walked back to the gathered Lilliputtian's where Dipper barrowed a tiny trumpet from a knight and blows on it to gain their attention.

"Thanks, man." He said, returning it to the knight while Mabel got on top of the castle.

"People of the eighteen holes! We're going to have a game of mini-golf! And whoever does the best job of helping me win gets the sticker!" She announced as they cheered.

"It'll be us, lass. Not these tulip-munchers!" The Captain declared, gesturing at the Windmill dwellers.

"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!"

"Just remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting." Mabel quickly interrupted them before they could start fighting. The Lilliputtians looked at each other nodded, while smiling innocently.

"_Don't hold your breath, Dipper, how long until midnight?"_ 3 asked as he checked his watch.

"About…now." Mabel turned to the Lilliputtians and said, "Alright you heard my brother, to your places people. Go, go, go! Time to show Pacifica who is really the best at mini-golf!" She yelled, holding up her club as the little people cheered and ran off to their areas.

* * *

><p>Just as the last Lilliputtian got into place, Pacifica entered the area.<p>

"So that's your rival?" A stray asked them and Mabel quickly stuffed him into her sleeve in time to hear Pacifica ask Sergei, "How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" 3 took that as her cue to turn on the lights for the course, illuminating them.

"Looking for someone?" Mabel asked cockily while Pacifica looked unimpressed.

"Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all. Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to come. Unless you've got something up your sleeve."

"Oh, I guess you could say we've got a little something, right, right?" She winked knowingly towards Dipper and 3 when the Lilliputtian pops out of her sleeve she shoves him back in as she, 3, and Dipper laugh nervously while Pacifica and Sergei exchanged confused looks.

Sergei walked in front of the combatants and explained the rules while 3 and Dipper stood at the side, "Eighteen holes. Standard rules. Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, mini-golf!"

They began at the cowboy hole, Pacifica putts and the Lilliputtians block her ball with a covered wagon. Mabel putts, the cowboys raise the grass from underground to move her ball towards the hole and a mini-gunshot was heard and her ball fell in; Mabel gives a thumbs-up when the Northwest's team backs were turned.

At the pirate hole, Mabel putts and gets the hole while Pacifica shoved her out of the way, "Out of my way!" She putts and her ball shoots out the front and lands in her mouth. "Are you serious?!" She screamed indignant, as Mabel, Dipper, and 3 laughed at her expense as the Jolly-Roger was raised.

They went to the Miner hole and Dipper turned to 3 to ask, "What do you think what cute, silly things are going on down there?"

"_Hmm, let's find out."_ 3 suggested and they snuck around the back to eavesdrop on the Lilliputtians when Mabel putted.

"Stop! You can't go in there! There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will DIE!" One of the Miner's shouted to the kids shock.

"I'll take it." A deep voice announced and a young female shouted, "Noooo! Don't go, Big Henry! We need you!"

"Go home, Polly." Big Henry told the girl and everything went silent as 3 and Dipper backed away wide eyed as Mabel and Pacifica waited around the hole, a few minutes passed and the ball finally rolled into the hole.

"What?!" She yelled and throws her club, which Sergei catches. "Sergei! Soda! Now!" She demanded walking away Mabel lifts the lid of the mine hole while 3 and Dipper looked solemn, "Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" She told excitedly while the other two nodded.

"Little hi-fives everyone, little hi-fives all around." He hi-fives the miners with his finger, "Nice one... You did it... You're the man, Henry."

Mabel addressed again and said, "I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners might have one of these in their future!" She points to sticker on her sweater as the miners cheered happily.

* * *

><p>While waiting for Pacifica and Sergei to return, they tallied the scores with Mabel in the lead.<p>

"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win. I'm thinking it'll be like 'ugh.' He makes face. "You know how she does that? 'Ugh.'"

"_I know what you mean."_ 3 crowed, mimicking Dipper's face, causing them to burst out laughing while Mabel looked unsure.

"Dipper, 3, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?" She asked.

"_It's perfectly natural, Mabel."_

"Yeah, just enjoy your victory, Mabel. Trust me, Pacifica will be fine."

"_Besides, it's not like we'll have another Rumble incident on our hands were they would try to kill her or turn on you or anything."_ 3 said dismissively when they heard Pacifica's scream nearby. They turned around to see Pacifica tied down Gulliver style front of the windmill by the Dutch Lilliputtians. "What's going on here?! Let me go!" She demanded as Dipper, 3, and Mabel screamed in horror as the Lilliputtian pops out of Mabel's sleeve.

"AAAH! What'd I miss?" He asked them as Pacifica continued to struggle against the ropes.

"Let me go, you creeps!"

Franz walks over to the kids and says, "Welcome kids, welcome! I can tell your loving this, right, right? No?" He asked when he noticed, Mabel's horror and Dipper and 3 glaring down at him.

"What are you guys doing?" Mabel asked anxiously.

"This wasn't part of the deal, tiny Dutchman!" Dipper told him angrily.

"_We wanted to help Mabel win, not harm Pacifica, what's the meaning of this?" _

Franz still smiling continued, "Okay, so we saw you were favoring the miners, and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica?" He blows a raspberry, "Killing her, right?"

"_I jinxed it didn't I…"_ 3 whispered in horror

Pacifica on the other hand ignored the death threat, "As if! I'm calling my parents. Where's my phone?" They turned their attention to the Dutch Lilliputtians playing with the phone and were writing a message to Tiffany that said, 'U R DUMM!'

"Hehe, send." He giggled, pressing the button.

"Hey, hey!"

"So how about it, hugeling? Who's da best now?" Franz asked smugly as the kids glared down at him.

"Not so fast land lubbers!" The Captain yelled and they turned to see the pirates had tied up Sergei. "If you're going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker, or he walks the plank!"

"No! Give us ze sticker!" The French Lilliputtians demanded.

"The miners! Give it to the miners!"

The Lilliputtians all clamor around, pressuring Mabel and demanding that she gave them the sticker until Mabel snapped.

"ENOUGH!" She screamed, causing her voice to echo ominously throughout the now silent park as they all looked at her. "No one gets the sticker!"

"Sacre booo!" The French yelled, causing them to boo at her.

"No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing- stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks! I mean, why can't you all just get along?" She asked them.

"Because we hate each other." One of the Dutch called.

"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass." The Captain shrugged.

Mabel sighed and turned to Pacifica and said, "Well then, maybe... maybe rivalries are dumb. Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!" She rips off the sticker, crushes it, and eats it angrily, causing the Lilliputtians gasp and converse to each other.

"It's all so clear."

"If we work together..."

"Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!" They all cheer and rush forward.

"Get ze girl! Slice her open!" The French called as the others advanced armed with golf pencils.

"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" Mabel said nervously as she backed away and a lever nearby Pacifica is pulled and she starts being pulled toward the windmill, whose blades started to spin at deadly speeds causing her to scream in terror.

"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper called as 3's fingers sharpened in a threatening gesture.

"I have to save Pacifica first!" She climbs a lamp post, followed by the swarm of Lilliputtians. She swings along a chain of lights from her club and lands by the windmill, evading the golf pencil spears thrown by the crowd.

Sergei calls out to Dipper and 3 causing them to turn, "Ah, Mister Dipper, Mistress Polaris! Niet, niet!" He yelled, trying to balance on the plank.

"Don't freak out, man! The water's shallow! There's literally no way to drown!" Dipper assured him and Sergei falls in face first in the pond, causing bubbles to pop to the surface as he drowned, much to 3 and Dipper's exasperation.

"Seriously?"

"_Stupidity at its finest."_ They rolled Sergei out of the pond and untied him while 3 'borrowed' the King of Mini-golf's golf cart and drives over to Mabel and Pacifica who were fending off the Lilliputtian's with their clubs.

"Get on, get on!" Dipper ordered as the girl's scrambled onto the vehicle.

"Gun it!" Mabel called as they avoided pencil spears and heard the Captain yell, "Don't let them escape!" The golf cart heads for the exit and knights cut a string, releasing a pair of swinging axes in front of the gate. Dipper hits the gas and the zoom through, barely passing undamaged.

"_What the hell is wrong with the designers of this park!?" _3 yelled in frustration. _"Who in their right minds would design an attraction with live steel axes!?"_

"Less talking and more driving!" Pacifica yelled as they headed for the loop-de-loop and Sergei falls off from the momentum.

"Sergei overboard!"

Pacifica looks back and looks over towards the others and said, "I'll get a new one."

"They're shutting us in!" Dipper yelled as Lilliputtian's started to shut the main entrance and the cart was being assaulted by another Lilliputtian on the roof. Mabel climbs on the roof armed with a club and confronted Franz.

"Don't even think about it. You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!" He mocked her from above.

"Oh yeah? What's ten minus six?" Mabel asked.

"Ten minu- what- hang on..."

"Four!" She hits Franz into the bonus hole causing it to glow and shoots up a column of lava, which the golf cart rides on. They skid through the gates and stop in the parking lot, where the cart falls apart as pencils and an ax poke through the sealed gate.

"Stay out, you dumb hugeling!" Franz yelled from the other side as regular golf balls are pelted at them from over the wall.

Pacifica glared at the door and marched over to the door, "What did you say, you little trolls!? I will sue you! I will sue you and I will own you!" She whirls to face twins and 3 and marched over to them to begin hotly, "You three! I don't know what you did or what's going on, but if you think just because you saved my life I-" She was cut off when Mabel hands her a sticker with a cat on it saying 'I a-paw-logize.'

"I'm sorry, Pacifica." Mabel apologized. "We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beat me, fair and square." She admitted as she held out her hand.

Pacifica frowned and sticks it on her chest. "You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me." She told her while crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact just as Stan and Soos pulls up next to them. They got into the car then Mabel noticed that Pacifica standing alone in the parking lot, without a ride. She turns to 3 and Dipper who shook their heads.

Mabel ignored them and called, "Hey! Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"

"Ugh, please. As if I'd ride in your-" She was interrupted by thunder and lighting. She sighed and reluctantly got into the car and sat between 3 and Mabel with Dipper squashed against the window.

* * *

><p>After a few minutes of awkward silence, Stan and Soos began to sing a little song to fill the silence. "Singing the Driving Song Headlights are out/ and can't really see where I'm going/ Bada-do Hey." The sung as Mabel reach in the back to pull out two tacos.

"Hey, I found two tacos!" She announced as she eats one as Pacifica looks at her strangely.

"You're allowed to eat in the car?" She asked in amazement.

"Yeah! The car is where secret surprise snacks happen! Want one?" She asked, holding the other out towards her rival.

"Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts."

"Handouts? It's called sharing! You do know what sharing is, right?"

"Sha-shaawing?" She butchered it.

"Just take it."

After a few more minutes, they pull up to Pacifica's mansion and she got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, or whatever. Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun. And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"

"Yes!" He cheered as the flap in the middle falls down.

"_Huh, guess there is a heart under all that make up."_

"So are you guys, like, cool now?" Dipper asked.

"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us." The gates swing open to reveal the Northwest mansion, complete with fountains and peacocks wander around on the lawn. Fireworks go off a moment later above a neon sign saying 'CONGRADULATIONS PACIFICA!'

Mabel trailed off and Dipper mutters, "We should have charged her for that taco."

"Agreed!"

"_Indeed."_

Soos looked over and asked, "Hey, got any more of those surprise tacos?" The kids laughed as they drove home.

"You know, I never did figure out what that coordination comment was about." Mabel said after a while and 3 blushed.

"_Remember the carpet incident?"_

"Oh." She said in understanding as Stan drove up to the Mystery Shack.

"Holy Smokes! The Shack is on fire!" They froze and sure enough the kitchen curtains were on fire and peering out the window.

"WADDLES!" Mabel shrieked running out the car with 3 on her heels.

"_You had one job!"_

* * *

><p>After putting out the fire the twins and 3 crashed in the attic to relax. "Well, so much for taking a break." Dipper groaned, flopping face down on his bed, with 3 sitting on the floor.<p>

"_Yeesh, what happened to you guys?"_ 2 asked.

"_Nothing, just Gravity Falls weirdness strikes again."_

"_Ahh."_ 2 said in understanding.

"Yeah, it's like we're weirdness magnets." Mabel said cheerfully as she jumped on top of her brother's back.

"Ow…Mabel."

"Well, it wouldn't be Gravity Falls if we didn't have on near death experience this week."

"Agreed." Mabel laughed then frowned when she felt something under the blanket, "What the hey-hey?"

"What's wrong?"

"I sat on something." She reaches under and pulls out the Ruby Jack-o-Lantern to show them.

"_Oh, yeah, I had forgotten about that."_ 3 remembered the artifact from Summerween.

"We never did figure out what it was or what it does." Dipper agreed, taking it from his sister to examine it. Mabel grinned and said, "Looks like we have a mystery on our hands."

"_Yeah…it can wait till tomorrow, I'm beat."_ 3 said, stretching.

"Agreed." The twins chorused and left to get ready for bed as 3 followed them, leaving the necklace on the bed and it flashed for a second then dimmed.

* * *

><p><strong>*Bonus* <strong>**this is a little extra before my 100 reviews chapter; it's just headcanons and theories I have for the show. **

_1. Dipper is a very powerful mystic_. Have you guys noticed that Dipper can perform very powerful and complex spells and rituals on his FIRST try? From Dreamscaperers, Dipper managed to send not one but 3 people into Stan's mind. I don't know about you, but I think that requires a lot of power to do and no one was trapped or injured in the process. Second thing was from Scary-Oke, he managed to summon a whole legion of zombies with little effort which should be at least high level necromancy and he got it once again on his first try. Third, well it's a little out there and pushing it: during Inconveniencing, Dipper noticed a lot of weird stuff such as the brain and the skeletons where no one noticed a thing and another strike in the necromancy were he summons Ma and Pa by lying down, but that's speculation.

_2. Soos's father could be the author._ I know this won't be the case, but it leads me to believe that the author is may no longer be in Gravity Falls and fled to either protect someone or his/her secrets.

_3. The Woodpeckers know. _Woodpeckers are everywhere, maybe they were the author's familiars that watch over those who will obtain their master's books.

4. _The man who was never shown from Irrational Treasure will be playing a much larger role in the future. _He's never shown again and was never confronted, so he has to come back soon.

5. _Sometime in the future, Dipper will get his own pet._ Mabel has her own companion in Waddles, which was pretty much destined to happen since all the repeats Dipper went through so it stands to reason since Dipper and Mabel are twins, Dipper will get his own companion that he was destined to meet.


End file.
